A/N: This one shot is pretty much stupid and some parts were just my mind going on haywire but I was bored. xD So review, favorite, whatever you want to do. :p

…I love ST. BERRY [but Puckleberry more. Sorry XD]. I just do. And I have this…insane need to see Jon Groff! It's insane! I am currently watching Spring Awakening online [FAMAZING!] and I think he is just….-licks-. It is so so so sad that he is gay. Really. It makes me want to cry. [after finishing SA] OMFG I LOVED SPRING AWAKENING! LIKE REALLY. I started yesterday and ended today. It was hot. :p I now love Jon more. And you will see hints of SA in here.

Summary: She realized as she sang the words, that it all referred back to him and what was left of her shattered heart.

Rachel Berry was hurting. She was in so much pain, and sometimes it felt like she couldn't breathe. She might have seemed fine after the whole Funk show down just a few weeks earlier, and she might have seemed even better at regionals, especially after New Direction's shocking win. But the thought of losing him to them…it killed her.

She hadn't really eaten a good healthy meal in weeks and she was miserable all the time. She'd kissed Finn and it didn't mean as much as it should have. She didn't feel anything. It was nothing like their first kiss in the auditorium. That was probably due to the longing she felt for Jesse. The ache in her heart that wouldn't go away until she had him again.

She wasn't putting her all into glee either. She was too depressed to focus on anything. Her grades still stayed at her usual perfect level, which was shocking. That was mostly because school gave her an outlet. She listened in class and for a short eight hours she put her thoughts of Jesse aside. But then the end of the day came and she was depressed again. She had to face it, Jesse was going to be in her heart and her head for a long time.

She sat in glee, staring down at her hands.

"Hey," She heard Finn say, taking a seat next to her. She looked up at him and he smiled dopily at her. She gave one of the tiniest, fakest smiles back at him then looked back down. "Do you maybe want to do something tonight? Go out?"

"I'm not sure Finn," She said, looking up at him. "I'm still trying to get over Jesse. You know that."

"What better way to get over him then to go on a date with someone else? Rach, come on. You can't let him rule your life. The guy was a douche bag and he hurt you, and you know that I want to kill him for that. Everyone does. So please…go on a date with me. It'll get your mind off of him." Rachel really doubted that but she couldn't help but admire Finn's determination.

So she agreed, and they decided he would pick her up at seven, and they would go to the local restaurant for dinner and then maybe to a movie if Rachel was feeling up to it. So after glee, Rachel went home and got ready. When Finn showed up he complimented her, helped her into his car [she was rather shocked his mother let him have it for the night.] They ate [Rachel mostly picked at her food], with conversation mostly from Finn, and then suddenly feeling really tired, Rachel had Finn take her home.

That night, as she lay sleeping, a familiar nightmare came to her. Of her running outside of the school to see Jesse standing in the middle of the parking lot. How could she be so stupid not to notice those Range Rovers. And then his "team mates" stepped out from behind their cars and all started throwing eggs at her [those poor poor baby chicks.] And then Jesse approached her, his friends telling him to do it. "Do it. Break it just like you broke my heart," She would say. He would look at her, angry for whatever reason and say "I loved you," before smashing the last egg right on her forehead and walking away.

She popped up in the bed, breathing deeply. She took a deep breath and ran a hand across her forehead. She was sweating like crazy. She quietly got out of bed, and shuffled over to her window and opened in half way. She thought she heard a ruffling noise but figured it was her exhausted imagination playing wild tricks on her. She sighed and walked back over to her bed, getting in and shutting her eyes hoping that the next day would bring something better.

She slept in the next day, thankful it was the week end. When she did wake up she stayed there in bed a while longer, before forcing herself out of bed. She got dressed into a pair of jeans and a pink sweatshirt with a yellow tank top underneath [which was the same outfit she wore when Jesse and his friends made an omelet out of her.] She made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, smiling at her fathers and kissing them on the cheeks.

"Morning baby," Her father, Richard, said while making him and Brian some breakfast. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok daddy," She replied, sitting down at the table next to Brian. Brian wrapped an arm around his daughters shoulders embracing her as a father would. "Are you hungry, Rachel?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, thank you dad. Actually I was wondering if I could go out today."

"Where" Richard asked, looking at her over his shoulder.

She shrugged "Not quite sure yet. Probably the library. Maybe to Kurt's."

"Oh, Kurt. That lovely young boy you introduced us to? He's so kind, right Brian," Richard asked.

"Mhm," Brian mumbled, looking over his paper. He then looked at Rachel, smiling "You can go do whatever you want baby as long as your home before midnight." He kissed her forehead and went back to reading the paper.

She smiled "Thanks dad. I'll be back later. I love you guys."

"We love you too sweetie," Richard said, and went to embrace her before going back to cooking.

Rachel grabbed her bag and walked out of the house. She headed to the music store, to just look around and see if she could find anything new to add to her collection. She ran her finger tips along the titles, smiling to herself as she did so. She was still feeling melancholy over Jesse but for just a second her heart warmed.

Her smiled grew even bigger when she found an all too familiar title. Spring Awakening. Yes, the dark themes weren't really her style but the music was so endearing and beautiful. Also, the themes were something most teenagers could relate to and that's what made it one of her favorites- right next to Phantom of the Opera and Wicked. So she grabbed it off the wall and was about to go pay for it then leave.

She heard giggling coming from the next isle and being the nosy girl she was, she couldn't help but see what it was. When she turned onto the next isle she wished she hadn't. There stood the last person she wanted to see up against the female lead in Vocal Adrenaline. She wanted to run. She wanted to get as far away as possible but her feet and mind weren't working together and she was standing there, like an idiot.

Finally, those hazel eyes she'd grown to know well caught hers and his widened in shock. Before he could do or say anything she ran off, dropping the CD to the ground as she did. When she was outside she slowed down, not expecting him to follow her. He had his old friends back and apparently his old hook ups too. Her heart was aching more. It was telling her to go home and just cry but if she did that her fathers would surely try to get her to talk about…him and even saying his name would kill her inside. So she went to the library and sat, starting on some homework.

About a half an hour later she saw something slide in front of her. Spring Awakening. She looked up in shock and saw Jesse sitting across from her, staring.

"Take it. It's what you went to the music store for. It would be a waste to have gone and not get what you went for," He said firmly.

Rachel stared at the CD "I didn't pay for it."

"I did," He said as if it were obvious. And it was obvious. Jesse didn't steal. He was far too driven for that. "I'm sorry for what you saw. It was…I should have been more cautious. I didn't care to think of anyone finding us."

Rachel fought back the tears and took a deep breath. She carefully put the CD in her bag. "Thank you," she mumbled without even looking up.

Jesse sighed "Rachel, look at me. Please."

"Actually I better get going. My dad's are expecting me," she said, standing up and walking away leaving Jesse behind.

Days passed and Rachel still felt the same. She kept listening to the CD over and over, hoping…praying that her pain would go away. That one of these days she would just be over Jesse. It was funny how things didn't work out that way. That funny little thing called love.

Those you've known. And lost still walk behind you. All alone. They linger till they find you. Without them. The world grows dark around you. And nothing is the same until you know that they have found you.

She sighed as the slow, sad song continued while she was laying in bed. It was pouring outside and her fathers were yet again out of town. She looked over at the clock to see it was almost midnight. As Wendla's part came up, Rachel began to sing along.

"Those you've pained
May carry that still with them
All the same, they whisper 'all forgiven'
Still your heart says, the shadows bring the starlight
And everything you've ever been is still there in the dark night"

She realized as she sang the words that they referred to Jesse and what was left of her shattered heart. He hurt her more than words could express and she would never forget that.

"Though you know
You've left them far behind
You walk on by yourself, and not with them-
Still you know. They will fill your heart and mind
When they say there's a way through this."

She jumped when she heard his voice mix in with the CD. She stared at him for what seemed like forever. She stopped the music and rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you. We need to talk…" Jesse said, tilting his head slightly to the side.

Rachel stood up "I'd prefer if we didn't. I have some eggs downstairs in the fridge if that's what you're looking for."

"That isn't fair Rachel," He said shaking his head.

She set her hands on her hips "Isn't it? You and your friends did throw a bunch of eggs at me, knowing that I'm a vegan. Those poor baby chicks have been on my mind ever since. And you…you've been haunting me everywhere I go! How is that even remotely fair? You get to live your life happily and care free while I'm stuck being miserable thinking about you. Your plan didn't work anyway. We won regionals and yet I'm still miserable."

Jesse stepped forward, setting his hands on her hips "Rachel, you don't understand how terrible I feel. Honestly. I wish I could change what happen. You have to know it killed me to do that to you."

Rachel shoved him back away from her, and crossed her arms "I doubt it. If it did you wouldn't have done it. You should go…back to your Vocal Adrenaline friends."

"Don't push me away Rachel," He begged, staring into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She scoffed "Why? Why are you all of a sudden sorry?"

"It may be hard to believe, but I've been sorry since all of this began. Really. Would I lie to you," He asked but then shook his head and mumbled "Never mind. Stupid question."

Rachel sighed and shook her head "Jesse…I wish that things were different. But you hurt me. How can I know that you won't do that again? That you won't go running back to Vocal Adrenaline and my m…Shelby."

"Because I never want to hurt you again. Because I love you so much and I can't understand it most of the time. I've never been in love before. I've never even really had a fully committed relationship before you, Rachel. I don't know what else to say because honestly," He grabbed her face in his hands. "I love you so much. You have to know that."

Rachel blinked "I thought you loved me. Past tense."

"I didn't mean it like that. Not past tense, not the future, but the present. I just hope you can forgive me," He pleaded.

This was too good to be true, right? Or maybe she was looking into things too carefully. Maybe she was just supposed to give in and be happy. But how long would that happiness last? She had not the slightest idea but she figured she should just milk everything for what it was worth. She missed Jesse so much and now she had the chance. "If you hurt me again…I will die. Like I said before, not literally but Jesse it felt like I was dying just these past few weeks. I need…"

He pulled her to him and pressed his lips to hers, cutting her off. He pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. It was sweet and over too soon. She looked up at him and smiled truly for the first time in weeks. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She kissed him again, this time more eager and they dived right into it.

After a while Rachel pulled back to take a deep breath, and smiled. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Rachel. Missed you too," Jesse whispered, pressing gentle kisses along her collar bone. Rachel shivered and sighed contently.

She could definitely get used to this.

Suckishness! :p I probably got the characters way off and this was just me rambling and being stupid .xD I was thinking of writing a Spring Awakening story but I'm not sure. Does anyone think I should? Also I have two one shots coming up [one is Lea/Jon. The real people. And another is Puck and Rachel] P.S- I'm listening to Left Behind from Spring Awakening.