Fear not, faithful readers! I am alive! I'm really sorry it's been so long since an update, but I got a mixture of writers block and too much schoolwork. Thank you for all the amazing reviews, they are what pushed me to update :) This isn't as long as I would have liked, but I think it turned out pretty well. Funny? I'm not so sure. You tell me, eh? (I think it looks like more of a crack chapter, but whatever)

Q3APo - Yeah, there will be war. But for now, Harry is just a kid. First year. He'll have some drama (as you will see in this chapter) but not as much as there will be later on.

CosmicEssene - I promise, this will NOT be Harry/Ginny. I dislike Ginny very much. If I do decide on a pairing, it will probably be Harry/Luna, since it's really the only couple that I like enough to write about.

Hreft93 - He will have friends outside Slytherin. For this year, I am planning on Neville and the Weasley twins, whenever I find an opening scene for them to actually talk to Harry.

Mutantkillerfrog - I am very happy you pointed that out, actually. It's something I've been worrying about when I put up the last few chapters. I felt I lost the sarcasm base but see...once you lose it, it is so hard to get it back :( I tried to fix it in this chapter when I was in a really good mood, so I do hope you will review and tell me if it's better, worse, or the same. I promise I will try and work on it as best I can in future chapters.

Ladyedgecomb - I loved your review, so I just had to reply to it. Thank you very much :) I do try to keep my own ideas, but at the same time, I didn't care if Hermione was a friend or not. I had an idea, but I have a lot of ideas. Just wanted the readers opinion, since I couldn't decide :P I usually ignore flamers, if they don't like my story, they can piss off.

Dhh - The reason I made him not all sadistic and completely cruel is because Harry is just a kid. He was raised in a place where he was wanted, what reason would there be for him to be a cold-hearted bastard? He disliked Muggles, of course, but he still has empathy for people he may see like himself when he was still with the Dursleys. If I made him a completely Dark character, I would feel it too unorigional (it's been done too many times before) and completely off his laid-back, happy-go-lucky attitude. I didn't make up the Dumbledore part. It's actually true in the HP series. For pairings, see my response to CosmicEssene above. Before you ask, no, it will NOT be Harry/Hermione.

Please read and review.

None of this belongs to me. Not Harry, not the characters, not the song in the middle. Nothing.

I worked on befriending Granger the very next day. Our first class was Defence Against The Dark Arts with Professor Black. If the name itself wasn't a mouthful, the actual class was even worse.

I had at least 15 sugar sticks for breakfast, which I'm not allowed to eat since they make me 'high'. But, I had no adult supervision in Hogwarts (At least, not one I listen to), and what Tom doesn't know won't hurt him.

We were all waiting outside, because Professor Black was (predictably) late. Honestly, why did the teachers in this school seem so badly prepared? If I had to get up and arrive on time, so should they. Anyway, like I was saying, we were all standing around, and since I got bored, I decided I had the excuse of a sugar high if anything went wrong.

"…I am sixteen goin' on seventeen," I sang loudly, in a very high, out of tune voice.

Most people turned around to stare, and Blaise slapped himself on the forehead.

"Innocent as a rose…"

Blaise thumped me around the side of the head. "Quiet, Potter, you're making a fool of yourself!"

"Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies!" I yelled, spinning around with my arms spread out. I banged into something solid and not-a-brick-wall. Abruptly going silent, I peeked up at the person I had almost knocked over. Professor Black stared down at me in a way that made me want to run and jump off the astronomy tower. It was a very uncomfortable stare. Was he a Legimens?

…Nah. The Light side can't afford any worthwhile magic training. Kinda like they can't afford a decent castle. This place was awesome, but I was surprised the damn walls didn't fall down around me.

"…What do I know of those…" I muttered quietly, grinning at him and skipping back to the group.

Black silently opened the door, and we all filed in. I glanced around, and decided I better start on befriending Granger now. I spotted her dropping her bag at a table on the 'Gryffindor Side' of town (or classroom, whatever floats your boat) and bounded over.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked innocently, pointing to the obviously empty chair.

She looked at me oddly for a long moment. "Erm…no…I suppose not."

"Well, it is now." I plopped down on the chair, kicking my feet against the table leg and trying very hard to ignore the curious/betrayed looks of the Slytherin's. The Gryffindor's looked like the wanted me to drown in the lake. Again. I just concentrated in blowing bubbles with my spit, which is a surprisingly effective way to pass the time.

Granger was silently reading over her textbook for a few moments, while I idly kicked, until she snapped.

"Why are you sitting here?" She sounded angry, for some strange reason.

I turned my head slowly to her, feigning confusion. "Would you rather I didn't?"

She glared. "Slytherin's don't sit with Gryffindors. So if you're trying to play a prank on me," God, she didn't know I made the lasagne blow up, did she? "You can go away right now."

I shook my head. "I don't play pranks on people," I said, in a very serious voice. "It's mean." I almost burst into laughter saying that, I had to actually bite the inside of my mouth. Now it was bleeding. Ouch.

Her glare lessened a little, before disappearing altogether. She sighed, looking apologetic. "Look, I'm sorry. I've just been having a really rough morning."

"Why so glum, chum?" I asked in a squeaky voice. I thought I sounded vaguely like I'd inhaled helium. And then some. "Turn that frown upside down!"

To prove my point, I leaned forward and pulled the corners of her lips up. She wore a grotesque looking grin for a moment before she pulled back, still smiling slightly. Guess it worked.

Professor Black silenced us all (though he was nowhere near as effective as Severus) and began speaking.

"You are here to learn how to defend yourselves against whatever dangers may be out there," Black began loudly. Great, another lecture. I already could defend myself, thank you very much. "For some of you, it may be Death Eaters," He sent an approving look to the Gryffindors. "For others…" He looked at the Slytherin's coldly. They glared right back at him. "War can be a tricky business, and we will probably all be involved at some point, so you must be prepared for any surprise attacks that may come. Hogwarts is safe, but other places, like your own homes and Hogsmeade, are not. So you have to learn how to survive. Kapish?" He spoke Italian! I was surprised they could even afford language programmes in this school.

The Gryffindors all nodded, some in determination, some in numb fear. Most of the Slytherins just looked around, seeming not to care at all as to what Black had to say. I idly hummed a soft tune to myself, one I don't think even existed. "Now, I'm going to take the role," Black went on. "When I call your name, say 'Present'."

He started taking the role, stopping at different names, commenting on the families usually, or just giving them looks. He gave Draco a very long and calculating look, bordering on a glare, before moving on. He did the same to Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, Daphne, Theodore, and all the other Death Eater children. I guess he was telling them to watch themselves. He commented on many of the Gryffindor's families, and how he knew their parents. Boring stuff, really, though it was good for gathering information.

He came to my name somewhere in the middle, and made a bit of a mix-up.

"Potter, Ja-…Harry." Is it just me, or did he almost say James? This guy was also a friend of my parents, best friend of my father, actually, but I wasn't so sure I wanted to be in the same room as him alone.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and called out, "Here," in a way that sounded like more of a question than a statement. "Though if you're going to mix up my name the entire year, I could always just go jump out the window right now." I glanced over to the window for good measure. It was raining. Maybe I'd make a decent splat.

He stared at me long and hard again, and muttered, "Knew your parents too…" under his breath. Gee, there's a shock.

He went on with the names, asking Ron Weasley if his brothers got up to any good pranks lately (Ron, of course, had said yes and babbled for a good ten minutes), before finally starting the class.

"Now, today we are going to start off with an easy practical," Professor Black announced. Excited whispers all around. It felt like feeding time at the zoo. "Usually we would go over theory of spells for a few classes, but in these times…it's best to learn this spell as soon as possible. Being able to cast it may be a life-saver. Now, pair up."

I turned and raised an eyebrow at Granger, and she reluctantly nodded in agreement. Looks like I had a partner. Once we had all the tables pushed to the side, and were facing our respectable partners, Black demonstrated. I really wasn't expecting anything too exciting, and I was right.

"Now, point your wand at your partner like you would an ordinary stick," There's a big difference between sticks and wands. I should know. My grandmother defined it. "Make a cross-like swish in front of your entire torso, and say, 'Protego!'" How completely and utterly predictable. Protego? That can't even block Unforgivables!

Still, I did it. "Protego!" I drawled lazily, biting back a yawn. A big, silvery shield appeared in front of my body. I had learned and mastered this particular spell years ago. I saw Black staring, and smirked.

Granger was having a bit of a problem with her spell, so I sighed and walked over. "Look, it's like this…"

Stage 1 of befriending Granger was complete. Honestly, I felt like a child predator the way I was doing this. But, it would all pay off in the end. Black was already looking at me better, I could tell.

Another new class we had that day was Flying Lessons. Now, of course, I couldn't bring my broom down, which was just awful. But I guess the school brooms were…flyable. We met outside on the Quidditch Pitch (which kicked ass) and the teacher was Madame Hooch. I thought she looked a bit young to have white hair, but whatever.

"Now, I want you all to stand beside your brooms," she instructed, walking slowly up and down the gab between the Slytherins and Gryffindors. Were all of our classes together? I don't know. "And say: Up!"

"Up!" I sang in a female opera-like voice. The broom shot up into my hand, and I felt a sharp pain. "Ouch!" I switched hands, and checked my palm. A splinter. The damn brooms were falling apart!

Theodore Nott glanced over at me. "Alright, Potter?"

I shook my head, holding my hand. "I'm injured, Nott! It's horrible! It's awful!"

"What is it?"

"IT'S A SPLINTER!"

There was silence from our row, then snickers. Hooch marched over, looking annoyed. "What is it, Potter? Hurt yourself?"

I sniffled dramatically, sticking out my hand palm-up. "It's an injury, Miss. That could get infected. And if it does, I'm gonna sue your as-"

"Oh, it's just a splinter, Potter!" Hooch scolded, sounding exasperated. What would she be like later in the year? "Pull it out and you'll be fine."

I glared at her, then yanked it out. A small bead of blood gathered. "I'm dying…" I muttered sullenly, as she went over to help a Gryffindor who couldn't get the broom off the ground. I flicked the little bit of blood off and huffed crossly.

Draco snorted from my left, leaning against his broom. "I can't believe she didn't react to that abomination. My own broom would never cause a splinter. Really, this school needs safer equipment."

"Exactly!" I cried out. "Mines wouldn't either, but of course, first years aren't allowed brooms. Bullshit…"

Hooch blew her whistle. "Alright, now mount your brooms!" We mounted. "And when I blow my whistle again, kick off!"

There was a cry of surprise, and a mop of brown hair started floating upwards. It was Neville. Predictably. He didn't seem to be able to control his broom.

"Come back, boy, you're flying off!" Hooch shouted. Like he hadn't noticed. Neville was way above our heads now, and of course, his bad luck caused his broom to turn him over. He fell to the ground with a sickening crack.

Hooch rushed over, helping him up. His wrist was snapped at an unnatural angle, and he looked petrified. "Oh, no, a broken wrist…I'll be right back, class. Have to get this boy to the infirmary." With that, she rushed off, with Neville sniffling in pain and embarrassment.

Once they were out of earshot, Ron Weasley started loud-mouthing again. "Well, Potter? Aren't you going to laugh?"

I send him a pitiable look. "Now, why would I laugh at someone else's pain? I'm a little too young for sadism, believe it or not."

Ron went to retort, when I turned away from him and to Draco. "He's getting old, isn't he?" I asked.

Draco nodded, sneering over a Ron. "He's been boring me for a while now."

I had a sudden idea. "Ooh, let's do something fun!" I said excitably. The sugar rush had started to wear off, but I had eaten a good few bowls of sugar for lunch…

"…Like what?"

I hopped onto my broom. "I wonder how long these things can fly before they collapse…" I wondered aloud, steering the broom just above everyone's heads. "Coming, Draco?"

Draco smirked, and hopped onto his broom. He zoomed past me (though not very fast because, of course, the school brooms suck)

"You'll get in trouble!" Granger shouted.

"So?" I called back.

Pavarti nudged Granger. "Who cares? He'll lose house points, it'll put us in the lead!" she pointed out.

I didn't stick around to hear any more, I just shot after Draco, grabbing my snitch out of my pocket, though I couldn't remember how it got there. "First one to catch it wins!" I announced, letting it go.

Draco paused. "Wins what?"

"…I dunno, just catch it!" It was right then that I noticed the snitch was directly below us, hovering a few feet above the grass. It wasn't moving. It did this sometimes, I think it was a glitch from when I tried to turn it into a rabbit for Transfiguration practice. Once it stops, you have to close it and open it again to get it to actually move.

Draco went to chase it, but I grabbed him on the way by, almost making him fall off his broom. And trust me, we were a fair way up. And it was raining. Like I said earlier, a decent splat would be made. "But there's a rule! You have to catch it without your broom!" I yelled, so everyone else could hear.

There were gasps below, and a few mutters containing words like 'die' and 'splat' and 'insane'.

"You're crazy, Potter!" someone yelled. I glanced down. Theodore Nott. Hmm.

Draco stared at me. "He's right, you are mad. Do you know how long it takes to make a new body?"

I thought of Tom. "A few years?"

"And that's for an adult wizard! Think of how long it'll take us!" Draco complained. "Everyone we know will be dead by the time we come back!"

I pondered this for a moment, then shrugged. "Eh. I'd rather go out in style, anyways. See you at the bottom." With that, I turned around and jumped off my broom, hurtling toward the ground with my arms pressed tightly to my sides. My hair whipped around my face, flying back over my shoulders. I thought this would make a pretty sweet Christmas card photo. The ground came closer and closer at a fascinating speed, and I wondered if Draco was right behind me.

…Probably not.

I spread my arms as I sped toward the ground, reaching out for the snitch. I was filled with a wave of adrenaline, this was stupid, but so worth it. The adrenaline was overcome by a familiar feeling of dread and…losing control. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…

That was my last thought before everything went black. I was a mere few feet away from the dew-covered grass.

Whoo...crappy dramatic cliffhanger. Will Harry live? Did he even hit the ground? Find out...next time I update.

Harry and Sirius have not formed a relationship yet. I know. I don't want to rush things, at the moment, it is strictly creepy teacher/student. (Don't the that little slash symbol in the wrong way o_O)