Date my Avatar

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, its creator's, writers artists, plots nor the series The Guild or the song (Do You Want to Date My) Avatar, which is based off of said series. (They were merely an influence as I'm not drawing anything really from the series/song except well probably the song rofl) This is what happens when a plot bunny attacks you when you barely get on your feet again trying not to miss type or throw a clothes pin at a person jabbering on a faction Ventrillo channel .

For all you gamers, you can relate to The Guild series perhaps and any gaming references. But at any rate, I'm going to always take the assumption that there isn't a lot of hard core gamers so a handy footnote section will be there for you.

All locals and their affiliated trademarks are not mine to own (so hahaha take that lawyers )

Warnings: Yaoi (male x male love, if it bothers you, press the back button), some gaming references that could get confusing to non-gamers or those who don't traverse MMO's much.

I am also taking small liberties with the song so bear with me. They were necessary to fit the story.

Do you want to date my Avatar?

He's a star, and he's hotter than reality by far

Wanna date my avatar…?

Log 1: Ignited Rage

"ARGHH I got killed again!"

A furious raving braided blond slammed his fist into the desk forming a splintered crack though the glossed surface. The boy swore and he realized a bit too late that he was in the local Barnes & Nobles Starbucks café using their Wifi. And he was supposed to be quiet. A lot quieter.

Whoops.

"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The manager was white faced with rage and he hissed in that certain way that produced the most spit flying in the disgruntled teen's face. There wasn't much to say when half your face was speckled with a middle adged woman's saliva. Snorting in disgust, the perpetrator swept up his laptop charger and headset and winced when she yelled after his hasty exit.

"And that'll be about fifty bucks, sir, for breaking this table if you dare to show your face ever again!"

Well so much for Barnes and Nobles being gamer friendly.

It was only the fifth Wifi capable place he had gotten thrown out of that whole week. It wasn't that bad. Sighing, the short teen sat down outside on a bench, trying in vain to keep all the cords form falling off his lap. When did he, the MMO addict Edward Elric, know when to control his temper?

Never, really.

So while his net was down at his house he was reduced to a hasty lump of red and gold rambling around town to try and find the one place where his arms wouldn't break tables when he accidently slammed into them or where the nudge of his foot wouldn't send a row of tables flying. Annoying though, when an arm and a leg contained a bit more strength than normal being completely made of shiny metal that sent metal detectors into frenzy. At least it was a twist of irony that he shared the same problem as his beloved laptop-any kinds of magnets around it and he was pretty much screwed. Elric sighed, pushing his golden bangs out of his face. He looked longingly to the Starbucks portion of the store, mouth watering. Maybe if he had just bought a frappachino, they would have been more lenient. Too late for that now.

"If it wasn't for that brazen headed faction officer deciding to start a PK fest(1) outside of the safe zone(2) we would have been fine…" the boy dangled his legs over the bench, annoyed that his feet couldn't quite reach the ground. He scooted on the edge to make his feet feel planted. His expression clouded. The faction he was in was going to farm a dungeon tonight and he needed to be on in less than an hour. It was double drops and he wasn't going to miss out on it. Urgh but if it wasn't for that cursed PKing bastard Pyrolysis, they would have already formed squads (3) by now…

Pyrolysis was notorious not just on the server but game wide-as many people who played it heard tales of the guy who wielded the legendary weapon Ignition Gloves. A snap and a player would go up in a flurry of fire spells. He was arrogant, egotistical and a general, all around ass hole-but for a, sadly, very good reason. His weapon was a one of a kind weapon and that alone bred a lot of contempt as he could almost one shot everyone around him.

And that bastard with his Ignition crap on had one shotted Ed's warrior as he was heading out of town (4). Pyro's current amusement apparently was jumping his guildies and keeping them from participating in a server wide summer festival event.

Resentful, he propped his laptop open. Well if he couldn't stay out of the summer heat inside the café he might as well tap the net from outside the café…

I'll get you back for this Pyrodushe…Teeth grinding, he logged back on while he opened Ventrillo by voice command. He was too lazy today to rick click it to run the program as administrator-the only way it ran on Vista, but luckily he had 7. (5)

"Sorry about that guys." The blond grumbled, shifting uncomfortably on the stone bench. The manager was glaring at him suspiciously form inside the café. The connection was definitely much weaker out here than there but he didn't really care.

"Heeey welcome back Full."

"Heya Fullmetal-still having that net problem eh?"

"You're having some vent lag FM, but what can you say about Wifi-"

"Oh god Pyro killed me again guys…."

Ed groaned half in relief that his fac mates weren't pissed off but half annoyed when he heard Alphonse Elric, his younger brother's voice float through his headset. Al was at a friend's house who luckily had almost college or university net speed which Ed ached to use. But for now all he could do was frown darkly as all whimpered his latest death against the Spellcaster.

"WTF is his problem?" the older Elric hissed, typing in guild chat. A clump of fellow guildmates were standing in one of the main cities of the game eying Pyrolysis's movements warily.

"Look, I have no idea-" Winry Rockbell, another real life friend of the brothers growled. She had barely begun playing, but was slightly chilling to Edward how well she picked up being a Rouge. Maybe it was just her natural tendencies-" But Py needs to gtfo or I'm going to tear him a new one with these daggers I just got…"

"He's uber leet hax." A player they didn't know who went by the name Vidicus half snorted into her mic. "No point ."

"Unless we gank him." The blond was twirling his braid around one finger idly making his avatar run around the city's main cross road and jump on top of roofs. He watched in dim amusement as his character leapt on top of an NPC (6), long braided ponytail wiggling behind. Ed didn't approve of ganking but…with this guy he could make the exception. A whole other uproar came at these words and Edward closed his eyes, starting to feel faint from heat. The manager was pursing her mouth now and she disappeared from the window. "Look-guys-guys! I know he has that attack that wipes everything in nearly one hit around him, but it can't be that bad. We've gotta pull together, put this cash shopping noob in his place where he belongs!" There was a small grumble of agreement here. It was obvious that Pyro dumped a lot of money, up in the five to ten grand range. Which is just a stupid amount to spend on anything even this game I am so addicted to…The manager threw the door's open and began to stalk out. "He doesn't have the right to camp us harass us and push us out! I'd never let anyone push me around like that-!"

"Unless it involves the cops." Edward paled, catching a glimpse of who it was behind him from his laptop screen.

"Uhhhh-oaky guys, nice chatting need to find a new source of net bai!"

Al laughed at his brother's hasty log-off from Vent.

Looks like he got in trouble yet again…

"Winry, tell me again why he's not allowed over here?" When the brothers we looking for net they had both dumped themselves onto her doorstep. Her response to Al and Ed were polar opposites-she had welcomed Al with a smile while giving Ed the death glare slamming the door in his face. That was however, not before she threw a metal cup that had been full of soda all over him.

"What the hell?" The shorter Elric had stomped and raged outside the girl's house for five minutes before resigning it as a lost cause and raging off the porch, being sure to kick a lawn animal with his regular foot.

Now Al and Winry were camped out in the basement which she had transformed into a gaming room.

"Well, first of all his temper," Rockbell began snippily, slamming her mouse as her character let out a dying moan. The younger Elric laughed inwardly, speaking of tempers… "Pyro got me again!-Anyways," there was a few fast clicks and the tapping of keys to use some skills. Her eyes darted back and forth rapidly "his temper is an issue to say the least. I don't want him breaking anything like he did last time. There's a reason why I'm using this ratty sixty dollar headset now rather than my sound reduction one that was nearly a hundred bucks-oh shit, oh shit gaaaaa!" She hit the ctrl button "Guys I'm downed again-at this rate we won't be able to even get to the next area without teleporting in."

"Rockabella, more than half the guild doesn't have the tele into that area." Vindicus, their guild leader, spoke in a strained voice. "They have to had been there before they can get in that way or otherwise we would have already. I know a lot of our high level players have that unlocked, but right now Pyro's killing both our high and low levels. We'll need to use FullMetal as a distraction-"

At this there was a burst of laughter on Vent. Everyone had noticed how many times Pyrolysis targeted FullMetal whenever he walked a few steps out the city gates.

"As long as he's paying attention he can dance outside of the guys range and annoy him with long range skills. When he gets back on, we'll need him to bait Pyro while those who need to get to the dungeon rush out of there on your fastest means possible whether by air or ground mount."

"So we're using FM as a meat shield." Al chuckled into the mic. It wasn't a question.

"Essentially." It wasn't hard to miss the smile in their leader's voice.

"I'm sure he'll love the news when he gets back on-oh looky who's on." The younger Elric brother snorted as the notification popped up to the side of his screen. "Hey bro." Al greeted him as Edard popped back into Vent. "Where'd you get net this time?"

"…Burger King."

Al and Winry nearly fell out of their chairs laughing. Burger King did have Wifi but neither one of them dared to try it. But they both shared a troubled glance, their laughter dyig slightly. If he lagged died trying to taunt Pyro there would be a half faction wipe…

"How's lag FullMetal?" Was the first thing that came from Vindicus.

Edward wrinkled his nose. He didn't really like the smell inside this particular Burger King but this was the last place he knew of in town that had free Wifi. The blond tapped his toe on the floor in annoyance.

"Can't tell yet Riza." Everyone in the guild either knew her as Vind or Riza. No one knew her last name and not very many people dared to call her by her first name, Riza. "Okay here we go-not much actually."

"That's cause you're there on a good day where not too many people are on." Winry simpered, typing a request for a res in guild chat. "Any more than five people on at the same time over there and I heard that you lag like a-"

"Anyways," Ed cut in annoyed, praying that that amount of people would waltz though the doors carrying laptops. "I can't get in range of a power source, so I've got about four hours on battery life. What are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna use you for a meatshield. Against Pyro." Winry snapped.

A beat of silence.

"W-What?" Already he was getting the confused startled looks form customers. Forcing himself to lower his voice he spoke again. "You're using me as a meatshield? Wouldn't a robe wearer do better against him?"

"You have the most HP (7) of pretty much all the higher leveled players in the guild."

Ed went silent. He couldn't argue with the leader on that.

"He one shotted me though when I walked outside about five minutes ago." He recalled suddenly.

"He had all buffs(8) on that's why." Al replied, munching on some chips Winry had went afk for to bring back to him. He loved how comfy the bean bags in her basement were. "They all fell off of him already."

"Well, everyone with maxed buffs please squad with Fullmetal."Vindicus ordered. Ed groaned. He couldn't believe they were actually going to make him be the sacrificial pixel lamb. Once that was done, they desquaded and everyone's characters who needed to leave were running around him nervously. Ed scanned his screen, turning the camera to search for where Pyro was.

There he is.

He was perched atop a roof, barely concealed by a tree.

"Bastard…" He hissed under his breath as Pyro jumped up and mounted a three headed dragon in mid air.

"Alright everyone who needs Midnight Rift, listen carefully," He bent closer, dropping his voice to a lower murmur as if he was afraid Pyro himself could hear him. "When I run out again and Pyro chases me, I need to make sure you all are on mounts. Don't play heroics-no heals, no stuns, no AOE. Just book it. If I die, I die-someone can come give me a res later on who can teleport in." My poor exp… Edward clenched his teeth, brow furrowed in concentration. His hand tensed over the USB mouse.

"Ready?...Go!"

"Go go go go go!"

"Weeeeeewwwt!"

Edward blazed out the gate with forty players in tow. Behind his character he caught the flash of fire and Edward winced as his HP took a huge dent. He could almost feel the bastard smirking behind the character.

Dammit…

He kitted the blast, jumping in the air and turning his char to face Pyro's.

"Get out before he decides to snap an AOE." Ed danced out of Pyro's reach and he could tell the Spellcaster was getting highly annoyed. He tapped his hotkeys for potions. He had never been too close to get a good look at the guy but now that he had been standing and not face fist dead in the ground he was a bit surprised. Most people made their in-game avatars either with outlandish unnatural appearances or flawless beauty.

But Pyrolysis had done neither.

He had grabbed a full Magicide Commander fashion set dyed in a deep disturbing red, black trimmed and all. The army commander look was consistent right up to the pale long face with jet black medium short hair and deep inky black eyes. On his hands his Ignition Gloves were glowing vividly with a black and red aura, the signature aura that made players flee.

More than half the guild had vacated the area and was well on their way to Midnight Rift. Edward was relieved. A sudden massive column of fire around him mad Ed swear. Leaping away with less than one hundred HP on his over fifteen thousand health bar, Ed potted again rushing past five guild stragglers.

"C'mon guys hurry up he's probably getting a bit pissy now."

Right when the last few people had darted inside Edward was floored by a high leveled skill and Ed still couldn't help but grumble a colorful string of addictives as Pyro swept above his dead body on his dragon.

"Did everyone get in?" The teen grumbled. The death would have been for nothing otherwise. There was collective spam of yes in faction chat and Edward slumped back, slightly relieved.

Pyrolysis: Well, you lasted for a while that time-at least you have some kind of skill…

The teen felt a new wave of anger tempt him. How dare he…in common chat too of all things. Fingers flew over the keyboard.

FullMetal: Guess your money doesn't make you as pro as you thought.

There wasn't a response to this and as Edward let his character lay there for a few seconds, wondering if that finally shut the guy up but the flash of a red lined private message made him gurgle and nearly fall off his seat in shock.

Pyrolysis: You have a pretty hot char-for a guy ;)

"This is going to be fun." A man whispered, a smirk crossing his lip. Hot coal eyes narrowed as he crossed his legs leisurely. "Really fun…"

Do you want to date my Avatar?

He's a star, and he's hotter than reality by far

Wanna date my avatar…?

Yay footnotes galore-if you need it great if you don't you can ignore it. R & R, tell me what you think.

(1)PK-Player Killer. Usually in Player vs Player situations anyone who comes up by surprise and kills someone, they are considered PKers. Most games have penalties against surprise attacks.

(2)safe zone-an area you can't get killed in.

(3)squads/parties- a group of players usually done for harder areas that require more than one person because of various reasons-difficulty, amount of monsters etc.

(4)towns and cities are the most common safe zones marked out on an MMO.

(5) most gamers know the problem regarding Vista-for some reason in most cases(if not all) you have to right click and run Ventrillo as "run as administrator" to speak in-game. Otherwise, you have to "tab out" or minimize the game to speak which is of course, not highly recommended

(6)NPC-Non-Playable Character. NPC's server a very important role in MMO's from giving quests, letting you buy and sell stuff or allowing you entrance into certain area/teleporting you to other areas.

(7)Hit Points-Ed's class is surprisingly a tanking class, so his health growth is much higher than all the other classes in the game.

(8) Buffs are added effects that give added bonus to players. In various games, buffs take on many forms and bonuses but all buffs cast to party members are usually beneficial. Negative buffs are usually called "debuffs" and when buffs are taken form a player they can also be called "debuffed"

The Magicide Commander set is basically Roy Mustang's outfit in FMA with black trim.

A note on MMO types-there's Pay-To-Play which is games like World of Warcraft and then there's Free-To-Play games like Perfect World and Maple Story. Free games normally rely on a cash flow to keep the game up, so they always have some sort of cash shop in-game to buy items with real money. (which is always optional)

Anyways probably not in a very big vein of "liked" story genre/content but trust me you'll come to like it even if you're not a big gamer in general (I hope)