(Breathing Room)

It is a slightly windy fall evening when she's gone. His arm feels off without her weight there, and Seiji keeps stumbling. It's cold, but there's no voice asking to borrow his coat. There's no voice at all, and Seiji finds himself checking his ears to make sure he's not hallucinating.

Seiji returns to the apartment in silence, alone. He hasn't been alone in a long time.

And maybe it's just Seiji's imagination, but the room is just a bit quieter without an imitation of his love there to fill it. Maybe, just maybe, an imitation was better than nothing. Better a beautiful lie, Namie once said. She might have been crying then. Seiji can't remember.

He goes to the cupboard and pulls out a cup of instant ramen. He shoves it in the microwave before he realizes he forgot to put in water. He stops the microwave, closes his eyes, and rests his forehead against the cool metal. He can't remember where the sink is. He can't remember where he is.

He opens his eyes. Seiji turns and goes to the bedroom.

He sits on his bed, when he realizes he is still wearing his backpack. He stands, and walks to place it on his desk. His desk is empty save a single picture face down on the wood. He picks it up.

It's her, and him, before. Before he knew who she really was, before he realized that the scar on her neck was simply an imitation of what should be, before he realized that no, this is not the girl I fell for. He is smiling, slightly, and she is grinning widely. The date is written in the corner in loopy cursive. He stares a moment, before letting it slip out of his fingers.

He should call his sister, probably. Tell her that her lab rat is gone, gone forever and never coming back. But no, Seiji is much too proud to admit to anyone, beloved sister or not, that Mika has left him. The one person he counted on abandoned him.

Seiji can't remember how he makes it through the rest of the day, but night falls and Seiji climbs into a too-big bed. She liked the left side, he remembers. Left, because if she slept on the left side, she could see the stars, see the sky, see the universe open to her and Seiji.

Seiji keeps to the right, and tries to close his eyes.

Morning comes too early. The light from the morning sun shines on Seiji's back as he sits up. He steps out of bed and goes to the other room. He should be preparing for something right now, but he can't remember what. He can't remember why he's even awake.

He's a bit hungry, and he opens their small fridge. His fridge. Theirs. He pulls out the milk before going to the cupboard and getting the cereal. He mixes the two together before placing the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard. Something's wrong there, but Seiji can't figure out what. He eats his cereal slowly, and gazes out the window.

It is too quiet in the apartment, so Seiji switches on the TV. The newscaster is talking about some small fire that happened on the other side of town, and Seiji stares at the pictures flitting across the screen disinterestedly. The reporter finishes talking about the incident, and that's when it happens.

The video clip takes over the screen in a second, and Seiji can only stare at the blood covered figure on the screen. Red hair under a silly white hat and wide green eyes. The spoon slips out of his fingers. Seiji's not quite sure how to process this. So he won't.

Seiji turns off the TV. The only thing on the news was a fire that happened on the other side of the town. There were no accidents. Mika is not dead, she just left him. As long as she's alive he can get her back. Just as he told himself last night, in that quiet street while she lay bleeding at his feet.

Seiji sits on the couch, staring at the blank TV.

Seiji doesn't move for a long, long time.

This pairing needs more love. In other news: I am currently working on a DRRR! fantasy AU, which'll be a few chapters long. Pairings = Shizaya, Shira/Celty, and Mikado/Anri, with a small bit of past Izaya/Kida and onesided Kida/Mikado. And, of course, this pairing.