All right. Alternate ending. Here we go. Still a little bit sad, but not nearly as depressing as the original- at least, I don't think it is.

That night, Kendall finds himself curled up in Logan's bed, under the covers, and he's surrounded by warmth, surrounded by Logan, and nothing but Logan. Kendall actually tried reading one of his medical books, in hopes that there was a section on car accidents, but he'd got a pretty intense headache after a little over ten minutes. The text was so small, and there really weren't any pictures, not counting the several pages of diagrams in the back.

Instead, he's crying quietly, and he feels like this is the only place where it's safe to do so, where no one can see him. He had to be strong, had to be the rock for James and Carlos and Katie, for his own mother. He was so used to being the man of the house, and he just wanted to take everybody's pain.

"Kendall?" comes a soft voice from the doorway, and he looks up to see Carlos and James behind the door, peeking inside. "Can we come in?" This time, it's Carlos who speaks, and his voice is so small, so uncertain, and Kendall's heart falters.

"Sure," he says, because, honestly, he doesn't want to be alone. Not tonight.

His friends walk over to the bed, and he moves over to make room for them. This was how they expressed that they truly cared for each other, with platonic touches. They had no problem with sharing a bed, sitting on each other's laps, sharing clothes. No problem getting dressed or undressed together. For anyone else, it might have been awkward, but they were just genuinely comfortable with one another. Besides, if girls could do all that, why couldn't they?

And James and Carlos don't hesitate in getting close, and after a few seconds of shuffling around, Carlos ends up in the middle, his head resting on Kendall's chest, and legs entwined with James'. James has his arm stretched around Kendall, so the blonde's head rests gently over it.

And, maybe just from the very fact that they were doing this, cuddling in Logan's bed in his absence, when he should be right there with them, Carlos begins to cry, softly at first- Kendall doesn't even know until he feels hot tears soak through his t-shirt, and then it's just too much, too much, seeing Carlos in such a fragile, vulnerable state.

Then, James starts up too. Kendall can tell that he's trying to hold back, trying to be the strong one, but he just breaks, all at one second, and, just like before, Kendall's tears continue, just like they were before.

They cried themselves to sleep that night- the only comfort they had supplied by each other.

They got the call around nine forty five the following morning. The five minutes that his mother spent on the phone with the hospital was the longest three hundred seconds of Kendall's life.

And then, she says a soft thank you, and hangs up the phone. Kendall stares at her, frightened beyond belief, because this isn't just anyone, it's Logan, Logan, and if he's- he's-

Mrs. Knight looks at them, smiles brightly, and Kendall's heart feels about three thousand pounds lighter, despite the fact that he doesn't know the actual outcome yet. But if his mother is grinning like the Cheshire cat, he can only assume that it's good news.

"Logan's awake," She announces, the happiness evident in her voice. "He woke up this morning, around six. He wants- He wants to see you guys… the nurse said he seemed especially frantic about Kendall…"

James and Carlos are smiling already, laughing, and Carlos is jumping around again and, like normal, clinging like some deranged baby monkey, but Kendall walks silently off to his room.

As he closes the door, it all starts to connect. What Logan said, about doing something careless and stupid- that was it. Getting hit by the car, that had to be what he meant. He did it on purpose.

Kendall grabs his pillow, presses his face into it, and screams.

Yes, Logan was alive. But did he want to be?

_Kendall walks nervously through the door of Logan's new hospital room- now that he's out of the intensive care unit, he's on the seventh floor. Even though that he's actually authorized to be here this time, Kendall can't help but feel more scared than he did the first time.

When your best friend tries to kill himself, and then fails, yeah, it's going to change things.

"Kendall?" Logan says, and he's grinning, the bastard is grinning, does he even know the emotional agony he's put Kendall through over the past forty eight hours? Apparently not, because his "I missed you," is happy and light.

Kendall doesn't say anything, just drags a chair over to the side of the bed and stares grimly at him. It works, because Logan shifts a little, obviously bothered, and says, "What?"

"How could you do that to us? How could you do that to me? You just walked out in the middle of the road, and we didn't know what the hell you were doing! You saw the car coming, and you didn't even move out of the way!"

"I-I'm sorry-"

"You wanted to kill yourself, didn't you? Why? What did we do wrong? Did I say something? Did I do something wrong? Why did you do that? You could've-"

And then, Kendall cuts himself off, because Logan is crying, he's crying, and the soft, mournful whimpering sounds so familiar, and the blonde realizes that Logan had cried himself to sleep every night for over a month.

"Hey," he says softly, reaches out to stroke his arm. Logan jerks away, closing in on himself, and suddenly, Kendall feels like the biggest jerk that ever lived. The sobs tear savagely from Logan's chest, but he stops abruptly, his sobs reducing to sniffles and tears.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, and this time Kendall lets him continue, because he figures that Logan really just wants someone to listen. "I should've come back. I was going to. But I couldn't. I was too caught up with how I felt to even think about how this would affect you, and I'm the biggest asshole I know for it. But when I was just…. out, you know, floating around in dreamland, I thought I would finally be happy. I thought that it was what I wanted. But, then, something made me think about James and Carlos, and-and you. I saw you guys curled up together- in my bed, and-and you were all crying, and to see you guys like that, it just-just, I really think that's what brought me back. I used to believe that I had no purpose, but you guys are my purpose for living. I was just too selfish to see that."

Kendall shakes his head, smiles softly. "Logan Darren Mitchell, you are the least self-centered person I know. You're selfless. How many times have you sacrificed yourself for us? You just- reacted to how you felt. That's all."

Logan grins in return, but the tears don't stop. "Come here," he whispers.

Kendall crawls in bed next to his best friend, slips under the covers, and Logan wraps his arms around him, pulls him close. The IV pulls at his hand, tugging the skin painfully, but he can barely feel it, because he has Kendall, Kendall, and he feels genuinely safe for the first time in a long while.

Maybe I'll add another chapter later, about a suicide recovery class, but for right now, this is it. Thanks for reading, and reviews are sooooooooooooo much love, it's not even funny.