a/n: So I'm restarting this story, I had massive writer's block and then rewrote the whole thing in a notebook which I lost. But I found it again yay! So I have the first three chapters that I rewrote now and only need to type them and restart this whole thing. Hopefully I still have readers!

Chapter 1 Death?

Remembering his final conscious moments, and a harsh green light flashing before him, Remus shivered, knowing immediately what had happened. He willed his eyes to remain shut, there was no way even a werewolf could survive the killing curse, and he certainly did not want to see his fate. He wanted to stay with his eyes shut on this comfortable ground for all of eternity. He was never a religious man, despite his mother dragging him to church several times when he was young in a fruitless attempt to save his soul after the werewolf bite. Even his father had declared it pointless.

I know I'm in hell he thought a monster like me can't reach salvation.

He could hear movement and despite his will to deny the inevitable, Remus opened his eyes. He was lying on a soft mossy-ground that appeared to be somewhere within the Forbidden Forest. He was surrounded by tree and yet somehow the sun passed through the thick canopy overhead and graced the ground with a soft light. Slowly, the man got up onto his feet. He realized his body no longer ached and he moved, not as a man of forty, but as he did in his youth. The trees began to rustle again and Remus became acutely aware of his nakedness. A twinge of embarrassment came across his cheeks and he longed for a fresh pair of robes. As the thought left his head, a bundle of robes appeared at his feet. He picked them up and dressed. Remus took a moment to observe his surrounding in more detail, he was in the Forbidden Forest, but not the one he remembered from his Hogwarts' days. The forest didn't have the usual sounds and rustlings of unknown creatures. All he heard was the sound of a creek going over rocks, perhaps that was the noise that had alerted him some time ago. Remus walked over towards the creek and suddenly aware of his thirst, he kneeled by the water and cupped his hands to drink. He looked at his reflection and jumped back from the clear water. That was not his face. He slowly moved back towards the water and looked at his reflection. His face lacked any of the signs of aging. It was as if all of the marks or years of trial, worry and death had been washed away. He looked closer and realized not only was his face young but his scars were gone. His face appeared exactly as it would have without his lycanthropy. As he was staring at his face, Remus had a sudden feeling he was not alone. On instinct, Remus reached for his wand and swirled around to face his opponent.

Albus Dumbledore chuckled and calmly spoke " You have no need for your wand right now Remus. No one will harm you here." Remus relaxed at the sound of his old mentor. He looked at the face of the headmaster, who appeared younger and more at ease than in all the time Remus had known him.

"Albus" he stated in a calm and casual voice. "always a pleasure. You look considerably better than when I last saw you." As he spoke, he placed his wand back in his pocket and walked towards the elder man.

"I would hope, I believe the last time you saw me I was in a casket my dear boy." Albus smiled at his former pupil as they walked side by side in the forest.

"it was not one of your better days" Remus added, smiling slightly before he registered what all of this meant. "so this is the afterlife?"

"Not quite, my boy, not quite" Albus replied.

"I always thought Sirius, James and Lily would greet me when I died" Remus added a tinge of sadness reflected in his words.

"You will see them all in due time." The headmaster spoke with a twinkle in his eyes "But first I wanted a chance to speak to you. Do you know where we are?"

"At first I thought I was in the forbidden forest but it appears we are in the woods by my house. The exact spot where I was bitten and transformed into a monster. It's why I thought I was in hell" Remus responded with a very slight bitter tone to his voice. "but other than that I have no idea where I am"

"You are in a waiting place so to speak. You have a decision before you to make, you can either choose to continue onward to the afterlife and join your friends or you can go back?"

"Go back? To the battle? To my son?"

"You have been given a rare opportunity" the old man continued ignoring Remus' question "you are being given the chance to go back to your first year and Hogwarts and change your original future."

Remus looked at Dumbledore with an odd expression before carefully responding "I suppose every person would like to think that they can change the world for the better. But what one person sees as a positive change can be disastrous for someone else. I suppose if I could, I would want to stop Voldemort from surviving the first war and I would to save my friends. Would that be considered for the better? It would not necessarily be for the greater good but it would help some?" Remus looked at the headmaster hoping for answers to his questions and understanding of what the man meant.

Dumbledore smiled, "I believe that all of it counts as changing things for the better."

Remus hesitated. That isn't possible he thought. He looked at Dumbledore, the old man must be playing some kind of cruel joke. Why would anyone chose him to go back and change things? Why not Sirius or Lily or James? Why would anyone want a werewolf going through time twice? Dumbledore gazed into Remus' eyes as Remus began to speak once more.

"How can I control myself when I look into the eyes of a young eleven year old Peter Pettigrew and know that he killed my best friends. How can I look into the eyes of Severus Snape and know that he fooled all of us into believing he was trustworthy?" Dumbledore's eyes changed their calm demeare briefly "Remus I would have thought after all of this time you would have learned to trust my judgement."

"Your judgement!" Remus couldn't help but let out a exasperated chuckle "He killed you Albus! We all know what happened, the man admitted to it when he ran. How can you still have faith in the good of a man that killed you?"

"He killed me at my request" Dumbledore spoke softly but the words carried the same weight as if he had screamed them. Remus froze unable to continue to walk as he stared at his old mentor in disbelief. "I was dying. In an effort to find a way to destroy Tom Riddle I allowed myself to lose focus and touched a dark object that cursed me. Severus was able to relocate the curse into just my hand and granted me a year to live. I settled all of my affairs and spent the year teaching Harry all that he needed to know. Finally I asked Severus to be the one to kill me so that Tom's plan to have Draco Malfoy destroy me would go unfulfilled and the young boy would not have his consciounce destroyed." Remus paused as he digested the information the headmaster had just given him.

"but what about James and Lily. Harry told me that it was Severus that overheard the prophecy that brought about their deaths. Can you justify that? Or the years he spend under the service of Voldemort. There is no denying the mark on his arm!"

"My boy, the world isn't divided into death eaters and good people, a lesson you have long since learned but refused to apply to those you distrust. Severus came to me the night he found out who the prophecy applied to. You see, Severus Snape was in love with Lily Evans. He loved her since the day he met her at eleven and that love ruled his life decisions from that point onward. However, the constant pressure in Slytherin to become fascinated in the dark arts and hate all muggleborns was difficult to not succumb to. The only muggle that Severus had ever really known before Lily was his father, who was an abusive alcoholic. Then of course he gets to Hogwarts and finds that the other houses, the ones who are against the dark arts shun him, mock him, call him Snivellus. Where else was he supposed to turn? Ultimately, he chose love though and betrayed Voldemort when Lily's life was threatened. When she died he took her death to heart and vowed to protect Harry at cost of his own life. Even though the boy looked like James, even Severus could not deny that he had Lily's eyes."

Remus stood for a few minutes in silence staring down at ground unable to find the words to express himself. Severus had also lost everything on the night of October 31st 1981. He also was left in a world without his love and without friends with only the goal of protecting Harry Potter. Dumbledore continued to stare and Remus as the man pieced together his thoughts.

" Why me though? Why not Severus or James or Sirius?"

" You have heart. You understand love and you know how to fix the future. I am easily corrupted, in my youth and even at moments in old age I was easily consumed with thoughts of greater power and desires. James and Sirius were always more likely to rush into situations though, you carefully thought through every decision you made. That is why were are in this location. Because of what you are , what you became at four years old, you are more able than any wizard to handle this opportunity. James and Lily trusted too easily, while although this was a good quality it ultimately led to their demise. Sirius was always to rash with a need to prove himself as separate from his family. He would have been too keen on revenge rather than change. And lastly, unlike Severus you never allowed yourself to become bitter. You lost all those you held dear and yet you still tried to love others and continue life the best you could " Remus looked at the old man's face. Maybe he was a good choice, just maybe Remus Lupin could be a hero and finally get a chance at happiness.

" How can I look at them and no feel guilty. How can I look at them and pretend to not miss the older versions of them that I lost?"

"You have already dealt with their loss for so many years. It may open the old wounds but you will have another lifetime with them. Maybe even the chance to watch Harry grow up with two parents and siblings. Perhaps you will have a family of your own like you always wanted and together you and your friends will grow old together until you are ready to greet death at a very old age" Dumbledore gently placed his hand on Remus' shoulder,

"Are you ready?"

"I am" and he watched as the forest faded away into nothingness.