Hey, There
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
A/N: Inspired by that Plain White T's song, "Hey There Delilah". Is there anyone left in the fandom who doesn't know what ero-sannin means? Pervert hermit, okay. And I think we all are aware that sakura- cherry blossom. Yamato nadeshiko is an ideal woman.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
A dusty shelf in the attic contained old memories from a lifetime ago. The brazen boy whose job it was to clear out the junk from the precious sat down with a shoe box full of letters and a few post cards. The sun outside was frigid with winter and the attic was comfortably warm. Well, at least for him, who had been raised in tropical climes. He picked up the first letter, dated some nine years ago, and began to read.
000
12, Crummy Hotel
Crap Avenue, Shit Town
Civilian World
Dear Sakura-chan,
I love you.
(Please don't beat me up when I get home.)
Ero-sannin is paying me to do odd jobs for him, and since he's buying me ramen three nights a week I'm using the money to send you this letter. I know you're probably just relieved I'm out of town, but I miss you a lot. I found a sakura tree today. It's in full bloom. It's nearly as pretty as you are.
What's it like back home? How's Tsunade-baa treating you? Probably better than this asshole is treating me. This hotel is so crappy even the cockroaches aren't staying here. I'm glad you're not here; you'd hate it.
Love,
Naruto.
000
7, Shigure Road
Konohagakure
Dummy,
Jiraiya-sama is a great legend! You should be happy he's teaching you at all.
Balls to your sakura tree. I like tiger lilies so much better. I wish my name was as cool as Tsunade-sama's. what kind of super-beautiful, super-strong kunoichi is called Sakura? Yuck.
I'm glad I'm not there too, dummy, because if I was I'd have to put up with you!
Kakashi-sensei wants to know if you're okay. I don't care. But he asked. So. Are you okay? Is Jiraiya-sama training you well? It doesn't matter to me.
Fiery hatred,
Haruno Sakura
000
Different Hotel
Still Crappy
Still Civilian World
Dear Sakura-chan,
I think your name is great. I think everything about you is great. Jiraiya-turd is dragging me to a whole bunch of civilian towns. He keeps giving me stupid missions and then says I have to blend in with the crowd while doing it. It's so annoying! I didn't become a shinobi to be not using jutsu!
Love,
Naruto
P.S. I'm putting a tiger lily in the envelope. I found a bouquet of them in the gift shop.
000
7, Shigure Road
Konohagakure
Dummy,
Jiraiya-sama is trying to teach your stupid head some subtlety! You better listen to him, Naruto, Tsunade-sama says he's a good man.
The tiger lily is all squished. You should have used a bigger envelope. Thank you.
That Lee's nearly as stupid as you are. He keeps bothering me to go out with him and yesterday Tsunade-sama said I should give it a try! I guess she's only smart about some things.
Tch,
Sakura
000
Somewhere
Somehow
Dear Sakura-chan,
You can't! No, no, no! I'll kill that bushy-browed bastard! You can't go out with him!
Please, Sakura-chan.
Adults think they know everything. Ero-sannin told me to act as if I don't care about you going out with Lee. What's the matter with him? What could matter more?
Please, Sakura-chan. I love you.
Naruto
000
7, Shigure Road
Konohagakure
Dummy,
Stop letter-yelling at me! Did I say I was going to go out with him? No! But I can't just tell him that, it'd be too cruel. So I said I'd think about it if he can bring me my favorite flower. He doesn't know it's a tiger lily, and even if he gets me it I'll say it's wrong. Eventually he'll give up; there's too many flowers in the world.
What's your favorite flower? Hinata's asking. I think she wants to send you it. How's the hotel this time?
Whatever,
Sakura
000
Wow!
Oh, wow!
Dear Sakura-chan,
My favorite flower is a sakura, and can you please tell Hinata-chan that it's so nice of her to do that for me? I've never gotten flowers before!
Lee's not gonna give up. You should just tell him you like Sasuke.
Love,
Naruto
000
7, Shigure Road
Konohagakure
Dummy,
What would you know about romance?
...Fine, I'll tell him. He got me a tiger lily and he says Ino told him it's my favorite. I'll go kill her, and then tell him.
Do I look like a mailman to you, asshole? Write and tell her yourself! She placed the orer at Yamanaka's yesterday; you should get the flowers a few days after this letter.
Tsunade-sama is sending me with Inuzuka Hana-san to go see a volcano at the edge of Flame Country, in the civilian world. Apparently it might blow up and bury a few villages so we have to see if we can stop it. The journey there will take a week. I'll send you postcards, okay?
Sakura
000
Wakisabe Resort
Umiyo Town
Dear Sakura-chan,
Is that volcano near Suminaga? Because that's where I sent my last letter from. What a coincidence, huh?
I got the flowers on the same day as your letter and I've just posted my thank you note to Hinata-chan. The flowers are lovely, and I know you don't like them but they remind me of you anyway.
What did Lee say?
Is it going to be just you and Hana-san?
Jiraiya-turd is starting to properly train me now. Once a week we have spar day, spending the whole time out in a field somewhere. Camping is fun, but learning is even better. I can feel myself getting stronger, Sakura-chan. I know you're getting stronger too. It makes me happy.
Go, go Team Seven!
Love,
Naruto
000
A cafe
A town
Dummy,
Of course it's not just me and Hana-san! Hinata's here, we need her eyes. Shino's here, with his sensor-bugs. We're all writing home right now. Well, Hana-san and Shino are; I'm writing to you and so is Hinata, I think. She keeps blushing.
Lee says he'll resume his pursuit of me when I no longer like Sasuke-kun. I told him I wasn't a deer for him to pursue and hunt. And then I punched him. Tsunade-sama made me apologize and heal his nose. She says we shouldn't be unkind to people who love us.
Anyway, Lee went with his team to train in Sunagakure for the chuunin exams being held there next month. Good bye, good luck, and good riddance.
I'm sending you a postcard with this letter. Tell me if you like it. I don't really care, of course.
Sakura
000
Crumbly Shack,
Ruined Rice Fields
Dear Sakura-chan,
The postcard was beautiful. All that snow...it reminded me of the time we went to Snow Country. Hah, and Princess Fu'un! Good times.
Hinata-chan did write to me. She's really nice; her handwriting's great. I wonder how come I never really talked to her before.
Lee can be such an idiot. I guess I'm missing the chuunin exams this time, huh? Feels weird. By the way, Jiraiya-turnd says Hokage-baa shouldn't be talking about being kind because he's loved her all this time and she still beats him up black and blue. And excuse him but how is that being kind? Yeah. I dunno.
Say hi to Shino for me!
Love,
Naruto
000
Hoshigaki Street
Miyamura Town
Dummy,
What did I say? Do I look like a mailman to you? Stop treating me like one!
Shino says hi back.
What the hell did you write in your reply to Hinata? She keeps reading your letter and swooning all over the place. And, hello. Tsunade-sama is kind to Jiraiya-sama! Duh, they were teammates, she's allowed to beat him up.
Don't worry about not sitting the chuunin exams. Hana-san says that training with one of those legendary three means we'll be reaching chuunin level in no time, and we can choose when to actually sit the exams for ourselves. I'm taking mine next year. Maybe if you're home by then we can take them together and I can kick your ass.
I like the postcard I'm sending you this time; it reminds me of the Hidden Waterfall Village. Keep it safe, I'll take it back from you later.
Bwahaha,
Sakura
000
Senjuku-district
Peong-wu
Dear Sakura-chan,
We're crossing into the next country. The postage just increased like crazy. Tell Hinata-chan I'm sorry, but I can't afford to write both of you anymore.
(I know you're not a mailman, but please?)
She wrote back to my thank you letter and I told her about the time when Kiba called her yamato nadeshiko. Why would she swoon at that? I'unno, Hinata-chan was always weird that way.
I'm keeping the postcard you like in my pocket all the time. Jiraiya-turd bought me new clothes. I am now orange and black! I told him I'd rather have the money to write letters but he never listens.
You know what we should do? We should have nicknames for each other. Like, I'll call you Tiger Lily, because you don't like your name. And...you can call me Big Daddy, okay? It'll be great!
Love,
Big Daddy
000
Blah blah blah
Dummy,
Are you stupid? I am not calling you 'Big Daddy'. Yuck! Moron would be a more suitable nickname for you. Or maybe deadbeat...if Sasuke-kun didn't already call you that.
Listen.
Hinata's upset that you can't write her. Why don't you use your money to write me once, and then write her the next time?
S/a/k/u/r/a Tiger Lily
000
Hotel, Street
Town
Dear Tilly,
How do you like the abbreviation of your nickname? Pretty good, huh? It reminds me of you.
But I want to write you as often as I can. I don't want to write Hinata-chan if that means hearing less often from you! Please reconsider.
Love,
Big Daddy
000
T-T
ASSHOLE
You're going to write Hinata or or I'm not going to reply to you. Don't you understand at all? She values your friendship and I value hers. So if you value me, you'll have to value her.
Naruto, everything reminds you of me. You idiot.
Pissed off,
Tiger Lily
000
Gomenasai Street
Forgive Me Town
Dear Tilly,
As you can see, I've written Hinata-chan and I've even got her reply. So please don't be mad. I do value her! I just value you a hell of a lot more. And that's not true! Not everything reminds me of you. Some things remind of ramen, or Sasuke!
Love,
Big Daddy
000
7, Shigure Road
Konohagakure
Dummy,
Home sweet home.
I don't want to use nicknames any more. It doesn't feel like me. Besides, Shino saw how you signed off as 'Big Daddy' and laughed so hard bugs came out of his nose. It was gross, but like Hinata said, at least we know the boy laughs.
I know it's taken really long to write back but Tsunade-sama has been keeping me really freakin' busy. The volcano crisis was averted and when we came back home I was told to accompany her everywhere. She's really very busy...you think a Hokage would just sit around signing stuff but Tsunade-sama has a horribly hectic life. She has to fulfill her role as part of the ninjas' judicial system; supervise the Konoha police; coordinate civilian cooperation with the feudal lord, check the village finances...and of course read and confirm every report on every mission ever. Gosh!
I can see you managing it, Naruto.
Sakura
000
...
Dear Sakura-chan,
Nicknames are for kids anyway. For people who don't want to be themselves and can't please themselves.
Okay that's not true.
I didn't even notice you hadn't written. Six months! Wow. Jiraiya and I just came back into the country, but we're getting ready to leave again soon. I don't know how often I'll be able to write. Living with Jiraiya gets us into a lot of trouble.
I'm happy you're happy.
Love,
Naruto
000
207, Ame Apartments
Konohagakure
Dear Dummy,
I just moved out of my parent's house last week into this little studio closer to the Hokage's office. I guess we're growing up, ha-ha. You think Sasuke-kun is changing like this too? I miss him.
What's much more amazing, I miss you too. I think I miss the team as a whole. But I still see Kakashi-sensei a lot, so I don't miss him. We have dinner at least once a month. It's nice.
Stay safe, moron.
Sakura
000
...
Dear Sakura-chan,
YOU CALLED ME DEAR.
I miss the team too.
How many months has it been now?
I have to go ero-sannin's rushing me I'll get back to you okay
Love!
000
The letters stopped.
(But the relationship didn't.)
A year later Naruto returned to Konohagakure and they called it 'Shippuden'. Sakura, however, knew that he'd never really left.
"S-Sakura-chan!"
What a dummy.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Did I try to be too cute? I think I tried to be too cute.