Insert usual disclaimers.

I changed the title to this episode too, from what it originally was.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It was a cold morning, as Cloud huddled in front of the television with a blanket covering him. He looked bored and hungry. He let out a loud yawn while surfing through the channels for something to watch. It was a day after New Year's, and nothing interesting was on, only a bunch of New Year's variety TV shows. "Why can't they just show movies?" he sighed, "I'll even take a chick flick!

"Or... have some alone time with Aeris." His next sigh was longer and heavier. Ever since Elena moved in with them, there was never a single moment he could be alone with Aeris. "Like that would happen! Pfft, I'll take anything right now..."

As if God had answered his prayers (in a strange way), the television screen before started showing a bunch of girls in bikini, running around on the beach and hitting a ball back and forth. They were all giggling and having fun. There were many close up shots of the women's bodies.

Cloud sat very still with his eyes staring blankly at the screen. A tiny drool was dangling from his mouth.

"AHA!" screamed a voice.

Episode Four: Life Is Like Poker, With a Full House!

written by Kurosu

He snapped out of his trance and turned around to face a triumphant Elena. Her finger was point right at him, guiltily. "Th-this isn't what you think!" he tried to persuade her, but there was no stopping Elena when she had her evidence to ruin him.

"OMIGOD! AERIS!" her voice boomed through the whole house, "AERIS, COME HERE AND SEE WHAT CLOUD IS DOING!"

Cloud panicked and tried to change the channel, but the images on the screen didn't change at all. Every channel he flipped to had the same bikini-clad women on the beach. When he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, he knew there was only one thing left he could. "HURRY, AERIS! WITNESS THE LIBIDO OF MAN!" she laughed.

When Aeris appeared in the doorway, wearing a pink and white lace apron over her floral red dress, she leaned against the wall, catching her breath, "Is Cloud all right?!" She blinked at Elena, whose eye was twitching at the scene before her.

The blonde, young man was rubbing the back of his head, nervously... with a busted television behind him. "Ah, I'm sorry," he said, "the remote slipped out of my hand."

"WHAT?!" Elena shouted, "That's not true!" She whined in front of Aeris, "I saw him--!"

Aeris smiled and patted Elena's head like she was a little girl tattle-telling on the other kids, "Sister, you should behave now. Shouting in the house like that would scare anyone." She looked at Cloud, sweetly. "We'll just have to buy a new television then."

"But Aeris--!" Before Elena could say anymore, the doorbell rang, and Aeris left them to answer it.

The woman in red made her way to the front door, sighing. Her sister was such a handfull, always causing trouble for everyone. She wondered what she to do. She loved her sister dearly and knew her sister was very protective of her welfare, but her dear Cloud didn't deserve it. She wondered how long the Almighty planned to punish Elena.

"Hm, I'll have to contact Father," she contemplated, arriving at the door, and then pushed the thought aside, preparing herself to greet the guest. She smiled and opened the door, "Hello~!" Silence followed as she stared at visitor and blinked.

Meanwhile, Elena's blood began to boil, and her anger flared back at Cloud. "YOU!" she growled, slowly making her way towards him. He backed up to the broken television, pushing the coffee table with his foot into her pathway. The blanket around his shoulders fell to the floor as she stomped the table to pieces, and the aura of flames burned the furniture to ashes.

"This... is... all... your fault!" she screeched and lept at him. Cloud quickly scurried out of the way, and she landed face first onto the floor. He cringed at the painful sight and was saved when Aeris returned.

She sweatdropped at the sight of her unruly sister and shook her head. "Elena, we'll have to talk later." She turned to the young man and chirped, "Cloud, you have a visitor!" She moved aside to reveal a beautiful woman with her blonde hair twirled up in a bun. She wore a light blue tank top and a pair of tight black pants.

"Sc-Scarlet!"

The said woman grinned and blew Cloud a kiss, "Hey, little brother."

"Little brother?!" the two goddesses gasped. Elena was quickly upright in a seiza position at the information, carefully eying the guest. On the other hand, Aeris was just the opposite. She immediately pulled Scarlet to the couch for a seat and said to Cloud, "I never knew you had such a lovely sister!"

The said woman raised a curious eyebrow at the brunette sitting next to her and then wondered what her brother had been up to and how he managed a rare catch like her. Her brother got to his feet and sat across from them, speaking his mind aloud with a bit of annoyance, "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Wutai working."

"Yeah, about that," she started, "I quit my job three days ago."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm broke and homeless, so I'm staying with you!" she announced.

There was silence, but Cloud immediately broke that, "NO WAY! You're not living here! How are you broke from your modeling job?! Why can't you stay with mom and dad?!"

She yelled back, "How do you expect a model to live up to her image?! It's an expensive lifestyle! And besides, mom and dad disowned me, remember!"

"And whose fault was that?!" he shouted back even louder, "You're the one who quit school to be a model!"

"Yeah, SO!?" She stood up, over the coffee table to confront him.

He took her challenge with his abrupt stance, "SO don't come to me!"

"Be a good brother, and take care of your sweet, beautiful sister!"

"I will when I see her!"

"CLOUD! You're so mean!"

"You're a bully! You've always picked on me when we were kids."

"Oh, are you talking about the time I cut your hair?" Scarlet reminisced, "When it looked like a chocobo's ass, huh?"

"Wow, I think I like her," Elena offhandedly commented.

"You guys," Aeris tried to calm them down, "I'm sure we can work this out." She stood up with her hands in between them, trying to separate them before they killed each other. "Cloud, we have a lot of room, so why don't you let Scarlet stay till she figures out what to do. I mean, she is family after all."

Scarlet looked at the woman speaking. "Family, huh?" She eyed Aeris, slyly, "So, what are you to Cloud? His wife?" She chuckled and turned to her brother, "I didn't know you had it in you to get married so young!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT??!!" came a ton of voices. The four turned their heads to the archway to find a pile of Cloud's friends on the floor. Tifa and Zack were staring at the said 'married' couple with worried, panicked eyes while sitting on top of poor Sephiroth, who was grumbling for them to get off him.

"This can't be true!" said the brunette waitress with teary eyes.

Zack ran over to them and slammed his hands on the table, "I can't allow this!" Elena imitated his actions and agreed with him too. "I want to marry Aeris-chan!" he declared and the blonde goddess punched him across the room.

"Sephy~!" Scarlet latched herself onto Sephiroth's arm, after he had pulled himself off the floor and into a worse situation. He wished he was under ten feet under the earth right now. "I've missed you so much!" she cooed, twirling a finger on his manly chest, "You should take me on a date!"

"Cloud!" Tifa pointed to him, "Is this all true?! What is Aeris to you?!"

Everything was chaos around him: His childhood friend interrogating him! His sister flirting his senpai! And Elena stomping the crap out of Zack, who is still belting out marriage proposals to Aeris. How did a quiet, chilly afternoon in January ended up in such a mess?! How did his sister find the house? What the hell were his friends doing here?!

Well... Cloud would later find out anyway: Scarlet stopped by his old dormitory, but he wasn't there. His roommates gave the new address to her. After that, they were curious about their young friend's living conditions and decided to go see him too. On the way there, they bumped into Tifa, who eagerly wanted to see her childhood friend and crush. And that was how the afternoon came to be...

There was only one thing he could do...

He grabbed Aeris' hand and pulled her with him, out of the room, shouting back, "Since everyone is here, we'll get refreshments!" There was finally silence after they disappeared, and no one was sure what to do. Without anyone noticing her, Elena quickly vanished from the room.

When they reached the kitchen, Cloud shut the doors behind them to get some privacy. He let his back lean against the doors and released a heavy sigh. The worried goddess stood in front of him, placing comforting hands on his shoulders, "Please don't be upset, Cloud. It will turn out all right." She gave him a dazzling smile, "I promise."

He placed his hands over hers and returned her smile, "As long as you're here, Aeris." She nodded. They were gazing into each other's eyes till Elena popped in between them. He hurried away to the fridge to get some food while Aeris went to make tea. Folding her arms across her chest, the blonde eyed each of them carefully.

The doors to the kitchen bursted open, and Tifa walked in as if she owned the place. "Ok guys, what do you need help with? You know, not only am I a great waitress, I cook a badass meal too!" she said proudly.

Scarlet followed in right behind her while dragging a stiff Sephiroth with her. "Since I am staying her, I might as well see the rest of the house," she grinned. "Oh, and Sephy, you're welcomed to come by any time. My room is opened 24/7 for only you! 3"

"All right!" Zack cheered, coming into the kitchen last, "Let's make this the best start of the year!" He pumped his fist into the air. "Let's all play a game!"

Aeris agreed, "Oh, that sounds fun."

"Life SUGOROKU Special," Elena slammed her hands on the kitchen table. Everyone blinked at her. "What?"

"I was thinking more of," Zack grinned, "Poker... Strip poker." The other two males groaned while all the women except for Aeris were glaring at him. "Or not."

'So much for any alone time with Aeris.'

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Life Sugoroku Special" is from the Ah My Goddess manga. A board game suggested by Urd and played by the group.

Sorry, this episode was short. I'm not that satisfied with this one either. I wasn't sure how to introduce "Cloud's sister" into the picture, much less making it Scarlet. There's still a bit of characters to be introduced too--such as Rufus, Reno and the TURKS--but let's take this slowly, lol... considering it's been years since I last wrote something.