A/N: I've been reading some M rated fics recently due to sheer boredom (there are way too many bad 10/Rose fics on the regular ratings) and I began to notice a pattern. There are words that show up in nearly every story. So I decided to challenge myself to write a chapter with 15 of these words that's less than 500 words long. Oh, and did I mention it had to be G rated? XD The words are:

Anticipation, cum, desperate, foreplay, gasp, huge, lick, moist, pert, roaming, scream, seed, soaking, tight, wet

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

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That's What She Said

The Doctor was skipping around the TARDIS console, anticipation gleaming in his eyes.

"Agh!" he screamed "I just can't wait any longer! Why can't we skip to ten minutes in the future?"

"I already told you, some guests are arriving with vortex manipulators. If we move now, they'll show up and we won't be here." Amy explained "Plus, it was you who made us cum half an hour early." She added with a small grin on her face. The Doctor glanced at her.

"What's so funny? Is my bowtie crooked?" Upon receiving assurance that his bowtie was perfectly fine, he resumed roaming around the TARDIS.

Why on Gallifrey did I do this to myself? On my own birthday, too! I knew that I hated waiting, but I had us show up early anyway. Rassilon, I can be stupid sometimes! Not often, of course, but- The Doctor's musings were interrupted by the creaking of the TARDIS door.

"Guests!" He gasped, and sprinted to the door, only to smack into a soaking wet River Song.

"Really" she grumbled as she passed by "you decide to celebrate your thousandth birthday on a rainy day? Crazy alien…"

"I like the rain." He muttered to himself before following River into the dining room. It was a tight fit as the Doctor squeezed into a roomful of his friends. Jack, Martha, and even good ol' Wilf were among the crowd. And in the center of the table sat a huge…

"Carrot cake! I love carrot cake! How did you know? It's my favorite!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"River told us." Rory explained.

"We even grew the carrots from seed." Amy added, that same smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. But the Doctor wasn't paying any attention. He was staring at the moist, delicious, looking cake, a desperate look in his eyes. He glanced around the room, licked his lips, and reached out to grab a slice of the beloved dessert, only to have River smack his hand back.

"How very im-pert-inent of you, Doctor." Amy giggled "We can't eat cake be-foreplay-ing party games!"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" River and Martha shouted, and burst out laughing.

Have you ever thought you might die of embarrassment? Obviously for humans this is quite impossible, but under extreme social stress, a Time Lord has been known to accidently regenerate. And as the realization of all those horrible words that sound oh so dirty out of context came crashing down on the Oncoming Storm, he fell over dead.

Poor, innocent Doctor.

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A/N: I'm so mean to the Doctor. XD Only 4 chapters to go, so send me suggestions!

Eleni C