Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Pairing: HidaShika. HidanXShikamaru

"Arigatou," the pale brunette girl said from behind the counter and Shikamaru frowned as she flashed him a small fake smile. "How may I help you...?"

It was an invitation to give his name but he only gave a small nod, pulling his hat down further over his face. "I'd like to speak to Hyuuga Hanabi, the owner, if that wouldn't be too much trouble."

He didn't trust the young girl with the eyes that looked blind.

"That would be me."

He raised an eyebrow, and her smile became a little realer, pleased at his disbelief. He leaned over the counter to get closer to her, and while her sister Hinata would've tensed and began to measure him up for a fight, Hanabi only met his eyes arrogantly. This girl wasn't a fighter.

Of course, he thought dryly, she's a businesswoman.

"Then I have a question for you," he said, and she nodded, a gesture that reminded Shikamaru of his ex-girlfriend when she was speaking to a particularly slow person. It made his frown deepen. "It'll be quick." He showed her a picture of Uchia Sasuke. "Have you seen this young man?"

"No," she said too quickly, and shuffled a little back from him. "I haven't."

He snorted. A businesswoman.

"Oh, really?" he said, and she nodded again, this time looking like the slow person.

It made him smile, but then it quickly dropped. Uchia Sasuke was the boyfriend of Uzamaki Naruto, one of Shikamaru's few friends and a current client. If it were any other situation, Shikamaru would've just called the police and been done with it, but it wasn't. Apparently, Naruto's current beau was a criminal investigator writing an article on none other than Orochimaru, the most notorious gang leader on the continent and a former member of the Akatsuki, which he had taken out promptly. That was big news, and despite the police's involvement, there were no press releases and nothing done because Sasuke hadn't been missing for forty-eight hours.

Bull shit

It smelt fishy to Shikamaru, and all the more to Naruto, who wouldn't stop with his goddamn whining. It was such a drag. Shikamaru went on the futile hunt for Sasuke just to shut Naruto up.

"I've heard different," he said. "I have sources..."

"What kind of sources?"

Shikamaru frowned. He hated being interrupted.

"Reliable ones," he replied and pushed her hand away from his elbow. "Ones that say they saw you with Orochimaru."

"So?"

Faking innocence, he thought, nice.

The girl was thin, thinner than someone with her kind of money should be, but then again, the emaciated look was back in and who was he to judge if she wanted to starve herself? The dim light almost hid her premature wrinkles, and the shadows under her large eyes. Despite being Hinata's younger sister, Hanabi looked years older than the silent woman. And that was saying something. The years working as CEO at Hyuuga Corp hadn't been the kindest for her.

"Orochimaru is the biggest gang leader in Otogakure," he told her, "but you already know that. He's the one who keeps the steady stream of spoiled wannabe bad boys and girls, isn't he?"

She shrugged, thought better of it, and then shook her head, walking right into his bluff.

"Of course I know who he is." She flipped her long hair over her shoulder, shoving her hands in her pocket. Shikamaru gave her a look that made her slip them right back out and hold them out, trying to look like she was mocking him and failed. "He's all over the news, like, everyday." She frowned. "I don't do business with criminals."

She played with her hair, twirling it around her finger, and he remembered that was the same thing she did the first them she lied.

"Hmm," he replied, nodding. "Right. And if I spoke to your body guard over there, nothing would happen?" He jerked his head over to the muscle head standing at the door, watching them. "No one would contact Orochimaru, and you wouldn't lose your fingers?"

Hanabi's eyes narrowed, and she scowled at him. "Show me the picture again?"

Shikamaru smiled.

That was easy, he thought.

What he didn't know was that going to Hanabi's bar was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

The police force was corrupt. He knew that. Everyone knew that. But it was still a big shock for Shikamaru when he was arrested the next day. It was a quick trial. His lawyer, expensive as he might've been, was an incompetent lout, but there wasn't a mistrial. Shikamaru knew it was unlikely, but he couldn't help but feel that the whole court had been paid off. There was no way on earth he had been the one to kill Hyuuga Hanabi.

The time he spent in the Reception Center had been hell. The worst part was, he knew prison would be worse. Shikamaru took small comfort in the fact that he'd gotten a good glob of spit in his lawyer's face and a few good threats before they took him away. The trial had been televised because he was the manager of one of the biggest pop sensations in the country, and he hoped that the other prisoners some him. Hoped they thought gotta stay away from that crazy fucker.

What a drag.

He sighed when they led him into the prison. Maybe other prisoners were staring at him. Maybe not. He himself was too busy counting the tiles on the floor and trying to look tough. There were cat calls, sure, and he blushed, yeah, but no one outside of the hundreds of prisons and guards would have to know that. The cell door closed behind him and the guards left him with only small, unwanted parting gifts.

"Have a nice stay."

"Buh-bye!"

"Don't drop the soap."

All he did was flip them off to their backs, and then there was the soft laughter behind him. He turned around abruptly, raising an eyebrow once face with a man with white slicked back hair lounging on the top bunk.

"Never fuckin' get tired of that," he mumbled, falling back on his bed. "So..." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Nara Shikamaru," he replied, only because the larger man intimidated him. "Who're you?"

"Doesn't matter," he replied, and his head rose to give Shikamaru a smile. "I won't be seein' much of you."

"Oh?"

Shikamaru slumped down on the bottom bunk, eying his overalls with distaste before he sagged onto the sad replacement of a bed.

"Yeah, you'll be too busy fuckin' with whatever chump decides to hook up with you."

Shikamaru choked, and in a few seconds, was peering up at the very serious man. "What?" He shook his head, making his ponytail fly around with it. "No. I'm straight. I've dated plenty of troublesome women."

"So?"

He scowled at him.

"Dipshit," he said, frowning, "just fucking pick someone that's not a murderer and stick close to him. Otherwise, you'll be sorry."

"Why?" he said.

"C'mon, you don't look that stupid. Can you say ass-rape, fucktard?"

Shikamaru scowled, dropping back onto his cot, and gazed at the bottom of Hidan's bunk. "Not getting a boyfriend."

"Why?" he asked, and then added, "Because you're straight?"

"No." He paused. "Too troublesome."

There was a silence, that swelled and grew between them until Shikamaru thought it would last and he'd finally get some shut eye, when Hidan guffawed.

"Well fuck!" he laughed, wheezing. "It's your funeral, then, shithead."

In the quiet between them, Shikamaru napped as Hidan called to another prisoner called Kakuzu. He dreamed of naps and shogi.

"Hey, Zu-teme!" Hidan called, chuckling. "Don't touch this fucker." He paused, smirking. "I called dibs."

"Go ahead," a reply soon arrived. "Not my type anyways. I don't do males."

"Whatever."

A/N: Not too pleased with the ending. Suggestions?