Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any characters therein.

A/N: Warnings: Crack (or is it? You make the call), mentions of ShiIta and SasuNaru, and non-Massacre AU.

I've had this idea floating around in my head for an age. Hope you enjoy. XD

-The Bet

"C'mon, little cousin, you can't tell me you're too chicken…"

"I am not," Sasuke ground out, "chicken."

"Coulda fooled me, with that hair-" Shisui grinned and ducked as his younger relative took a swing.

"I just happen to think that what you're suggesting is a massive waste of my time," Sasuke concluded, shooting Shisui the evil eye he had perfected over eighteen years. "Go find someone else to piss off."

"Can't," Shisui replied breezily. "Your brother's already leaning towards strangling me today. Wouldn't want to use up a week's good luck quota pushing him anymore."

"You are a moron," was the blunt reply. "Someone else, then. Anko. Tekka. Hell, you can go and pester Ibiki, for all I care. I might not have to listen to you jabber for a good couple of weeks after that."

"Can't," Shisui repeated, sounding as if he were enjoying himself (which he was, of course). "Anko's…busy. I've already been forewarned. She'd skin me alive if I went over today. And good old cousin Tekka's out because, well…" The grin reached Cheshire proportions. "He's what Anko's busy with, if you get my drift…"

"Excuse me while I burn my eyes out," Sasuke remarked dryly.

"As for Ibiki, I would, but he's on a mission at the moment. So, squirt, I'm all yours."

Sasuke tried valiantly to stop his eye from twitching, and partially succeeded. "What do I have to do to get rid of you?" He paused before adding, "Call me 'squirt' one more time and I'll rip your arms off."

"So violent," Shisui observed in mock horror before returning to his gleeful tone. "And you know exactly what I want. Come on, it'd be fun. You'd have fun."

"That has nothing to do with it," Sasuke said irritably, the twitch growing in intensity. "You only want an excuse so that Itachi doesn't skin you. You want to be able to say that I did it, too. I'm not going along with this."

"Well, what if we made it a bet?"

"There is nothing you could say that could possibly-"

"If you manage it first," Shisui interrupted, "then I'll take over all your D-rank missions for the next month."

Sasuke stopped in his metaphorical tracks.

"Make it two."

"One and a half, and be grateful you won't have to babysit the daimyo's little brats for that long."

Sasuke considered. "And if you win?"

Shisui smirked. "Then you have to go up to Rock Lee-you know, with the giant eyebrows?-and ask him how you can improve your 'youthfulness'." The older male leaned back and watched his cousin turn green with immense satisfaction.

Said cousin swallowed hard. "A month and twenty days, not one less."

"Deal." Shisui smiled beatifically. "Ahh, little cousin, you are going down."

Sasuke offered up a smirk of his own. "You wish. Just watch."

"Remember, there must be photographic evidence. And you're the one wishing, Sasuke. The day you get that blondie Naruto of yours to wear a maid costume before I get Itachi to wear one will be a freezing day in hell."

"We'll see," Sasuke mused. "Won't we?"

And they parted ways.

-Owari