Disclaimer: All these characters belong to JK Rowling, I just happen to be in love with them.

Tonks sat in the back of the kitchen during an order meeting and fumed. "How dare that slutty-no-good Hestia Jones say that I can't get a man! Just because I don't use my metamorphmagus abilities to give myself huge boobs and platinum blonde hair! At least I'm not a fake whore!" she huffed silently to herself. "I'm just highly… selective. Hmph." As she slowly sipped the tea Molly had handed her, she started to calm down. When the meeting was over she'd tell Molly what Hestia had said. Molly always knew just what to say, and Molly often had a surprisingly good revenge plan when it was needed.

Molly's reaction was not what Tonks was hoping for. Rather than tell her how she could get any guy she wanted, Molly immediately began listing possible suitors to pursue. "Molly, I don't need a man, I just… ugh."

"Nonsense, obviously you just need a little romance in your life. Hand me a quill, I want to write these names down," Molly commanded. Resigned to a painful half-hour, Tonks handed Molly a quill which had previously been stuck in her bright pink bun. After about five minutes of fast paced scribbling, Molly shoved the list over to her.

"Molllly… why are the first three names your sons?" Tonks asked as calmly as she could. Despite some conjecturing, Tonks never had and never would be interested romantically in any Weasley. Without waiting for a response she crossed the names off the list and continued.

"You put Mundungus on the list!"

"Now wait just a minute dear, don't you think you're being just a bit unreasonable with your standards?" Molly injected with her best I'm-not-an-interfering-busy-body voice.

"Mundungus is a thieving drunk" Tonks stated flatly, "So, no." She paused for a second and continued, "And you know how I feel about dating younger men, which excludes any of your sons. Molly let out a small hum and outwardly dismissed the subject. Tonks continued to read the list and promptly crossed off two more names because the gentlemen were on the wrong side of seventy. "Remus Lupin? No offense, but he's a wimp and a werewolf. Serious emotional baggage," she added as she crossed his name off.

"Hagrid!" she screamed. "I don't even want to think about how that would work," she said firmly. Molly clucked disapprovingly.

"You've only left three names on the list. At this rate you'll be an old spinster and prove Hestia Jones completely accurate!"

Motivated, Tonks continued reading the list trying to be open-minded. "Kingsley is engaged, Molly. I'd rather be a spinster than a man-stealing whore." Molly nodded somewhat apologetically at this, and she motioned for Tonks to continue. "Professor FLITWICK!" Tonks eyes rolled backwards, and for a second she looked like she might faint. "Four words. He. Is. My. Godfather." Tonks sat down and took a few deep breaths, traumatized from the suggestion of seducing the kindly professor she'd known since birth.

Molly looked mildly shocked, and she stammered, "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. No idea, you know." After a couple of seconds she suggested that Tonks just forget all about that, and Tonks quickly agreed, crossing out the name vigorously.

Prepared for anything at this point, Tonks read the last name on the list, "Severus?" Despite feeling that she should be strongly opposed to this, Tonks couldn't help the small part of her which was far from appalled. If anyone knew that she had always found the Professor secretly sexy, she'd either be thought insane or poisoned. Actually, she was surprised Molly would consider him as a prospective suitor.

Molly rapidly fired off arguments in favor of the man upon seeing Tonks's hesitation. "He's a good person, very brave, very smart, and he has a good job. He loves deeply, and there wouldn't be much romantic competition. And I don't know anyone who is so obviously in need of a good woman in his life." She sighed, "You would be so good for each other." Obviously, Molly was rather set on this match.

Tonks's traitorous mind was telling her that it would be foolish to oppose Molly when Molly was so obviously in favor of Professor Snape. Slowly, Tonks nodded.

"Wonderful!" Molly's eyes lit up. "I'll begin planning tonight; you just go to bed and leave everything to me!" As Tonks was pushed into the floo and sent on her way with a hug, she felt that she should be very, very afraid.