Daria/Dorian Chapter 16: Sugar High

Dorian woke up the first day of school already wanting it to be over. As he got up to take a shower, Quinn zoomed past him and quickly closed the bathroom door. Several minutes later, Quinn came out and gave her brother a quick hug. Dorian entered the room and stared into the mirror. Despite the change occurring almost a year earlier, these were some of the moments the Daria side of him still struggled with. After taking a long, deep breath, Dorian stepped into the shower. Twenty minutes later, Dorian was downstairs and ready for school. A few minutes later, he told his parents goodbye and headed for Jane's.

Dorian knocked on the door of Casa Lane and was not surprised when she answered the door looking like an extra from Night of the Living Dead. She signaled him to come inside while she finished getting ready. As Jane made her way upstairs, Dorian went into the kitchen to make her an extra-large thermos of coffee. When she came back down, Dorian handed her the caffeine fix she needed to completely wake up. After a quick kiss, they left Casa Lane to head to Lawndale High. As they were walking towards the school, they were stopped by Tom and Andrea who offered them a ride. The group talked about what was in store for them in their senior years.

When they pulled up to the school, several students were already gathered in the parking lot. Dorian and Jane thanked Tom for the ride and then waited for Andrea to join them. The three of them continued to talk and were soon joined by Jodie and Mack, who were desperately trying to avoid Kevin. They compared their schedules and found no changes. The group walked towards Mr. DeMartino for homeroom. Ms. Li came over the PA and began her beginning of the year speech. The rest of the day was filled with getting books and lockers. Dorian and Mack had practice after school. Jane decided to watch from the stands. Taking out her sketch book, Jane didn't notice that Ms. Li had sat down near her until she heard Ms. Li talking on her cell phone.

"Your crew will be here when? They can't come then. That's when our first home game of the year is. The Saturday after the game is fine. Yes, I understand I will be charged more for making them work on a holiday weekend. Goodbye."

Jane wondered what crazy scheme Ms. Li had going now. The possibilities were endless. After practice was over, Jane told Dorian about what she had heard while in the bleachers. They were still talking about it when they walked into Schloss Morgendorffer. The couple was greeted by Quinn and Stacy, who were already sitting down watching the Fashion Channel. Once they were up in Dorian's room, Jane sat down on the bed while Dorian sat in the computer chair.

"So Dorian, any idea of what Ms. Li has planned?"

I don't know about you, but I think she is about to do something that we will all regret.

Dorian looked over at Jane. "Daria feels that whatever it is is not going to be good for us and I have a sinking feeling she is right on the money here."

The rest of the first week was quiet and without incident. The next week was the start of the football season and their first home game of the year. The students and parent filled the stands with excitement and were treated with a lopsided victory on the Lions part. Ms. Li looked at the attendance and smiled. There was nothing better than to start the season off with a packed stadium of paying fans. With school being closed until Tuesday, Ms. Li would have plenty of time to test the new "play toy" she was receiving the next day.

The next morning, Ms. Li watched in awe as her latest piece of security equipment; a satellite jammer, was being installed. The cost of her newest obsession was a lot more than Ms. Li had expected. It had taken the rest of the first half of her "Code Dorian" fund and a good chunk of the school's regular budget to pay for the jammer. All she could hope for now was that the lawmakers would vote to increase funding to the schools.

Two weeks after the jammer was installed, the voters rejected the property tax increase that Ms. Li was relying so heavily on. She began to wonder when the teachers would start griping about one problem or the other. For a brief moment, she thought about asking for the other half of the "Code Dorian" money from Helen Morgendorffer, but decided against it due to too many questions the request would create. As she sat in her office, Ms. Li drew in a long sigh and grabbed a pack of Tums from her desk. Something told her that she was going to be in for a long year.

The first Tuesday of October was when the griping flood gate opened, starting with the school's run-down, piece of crap copier. Mr. O' Neill cringed as the copies of scenes one through five of "Dr. Faustus" came out of the antiquated machine. When he arrived to his senior English class and passed out the papers, the complaints began.

"Hey, Mr. O, I can't read this," Kevin said.

You know it must be bad when Kevin notices. Dorian gave a slight nod before hearing Jane make a comment about her copy. Dorian hesitated for a moment before looking down at the pack of papers that had been placed on his desk. Staring at the mess that was on his desk, he began squinting and rubbing his temples. He clinched his teeth as even the Daria side of him began to wince in pain. Jane looked over at him and became concerned. Jane caught Mr. O'Neill's attention and he quickly headed for Dorian's desk.

"Insipient migraine," was all Dorian could say. Mr. O'Neill walked back to his desk and gave Dorian a pass to go see the school's nurse. He began to apologize and then rant about the copier as Dorian left the room.

Two aspirins, a dark room, and a brief nap later, Dorian was able to go to his next class. He entered Mr. DeMartino's room just as Jodie was giving her presentation on Chechnya. When asked her to point the country out on the map, Jodie turned to him and stated that the map was too old. Mr. DeMartino nodded in agreement.

"That's right, Jodie. I guess they think that since I teach HISTORY, I don't need supplies created V-E DAY!"

Dorian's face contorted when the angry history teacher raised his voice. When the bell rang, Dorian slowly got out of his chair and walked towards the door. Jane, Jodie, and Mack were waiting for him outside. After asking he was okay, Jodie and Mack made their way to the cafeteria. Jane stayed close to Dorian and when the Fashion CLub passed them in the hall, Quinn broke from the group and joined the twosome.

"What's wrong Dorian?" Quinn asked.

"I got a migraine looking at the pitiful excuse of a copy out of the school's damn copy machine. I was starting to feel a little when Mr, DeMartino started yelling about his outdated map," he said.

Quinn looked around and leaned towards him and whispered, "How are you feeling sis?"

"You would think that with the hush money Ms. Li was given, we wouldn't be having these problems." The reply was in Dorian's voice, but Quinn and Jane both knew who said it.

"Yeah, but knowing Ms. Li - she spent it on some piece of unnecessary and insane security equipment. As if the Great Zombie Uprising would ever come here," Jane smirked trying to cheer Dorian up.

"True, we are lacking their primary source of food. Speaking of food, maybe a little lunch will help me out. Nothing greasy though." Dorian said.

"Dorian, go sit down - I'll make you a salad," Quinn said.

"Thanks, sis." Dorian walked over to his and Jane's usual table and sat down.

The grumblings throughout the day continued. Brittany became upset in Ms. Defoe's class when she was told that the art teacher had run out of red paint. Even Ms. Barch griped more about the lack of funds than she did about men. When Dorian arrived at practice, Coach Smith could tell he wasn't feeling well and was told to sit out. Dorian didn't put up a fight and headed to the bench to lie down. About fifteen minutes into practice, Jamie broke the facemask off his helmet. When he approached the coach with his helmet, he was told to trade helmets with Dorian because there were no spare facemasks. Ms. Li showed up at the practice just as Dorian and Jamie were swapping helmets. A few moments later, Jamie headed back on the field while Dorian laid down on the bench.

"Mr. Morgendorffer, - why did you switch helmets with Mr. White and why aren't you practicing?" Ms. Li asked.

"I'm not practicing because the crappy COPY of Dr. Faustus Mr. O'Neill handed out gave me a MIGRAINE. Jamie and I switched helmets because his facemask broke off and we don't have the FUNDS to replace it," Dorian growled in a voice that would have made Mr. DeMartino proud.

Ms. Li swallowed hard as she realized that she would have to resolve the money issue and soon. She left the stadium and headed back for her office. Turning off the jammer, Ms. Li turned on her computer and began to try to come up with ways to raise money. She opened up her email to see that her alma mater had sent her a class update featuring a little piece on Leonard Lamb and his new advertising company. A small smile came over her face as she quickly jotted down his number.

The next morning, Dorian was still feeling the effects of the migraine and asked his parents if he could stay home. Helen called the school and then left for work. Jake was in the kitchen and watched Dorian walk in, rubbing his temples. After handing his son a bowl of cereal and two aspirin, Jake poured himself a cup of coffee and picked up the newspaper. Dorian took a couple of bites, swallowed the aspirin, and headed back upstairs. A few minutes later, Dorian heard a knock on his door.

"I'm about to head to work, son. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks for letting me know, dad. I have a feeling that I'm going to be sleeping most of the day," Dorian said. His father nodded and left the room.

While Dorian was sleeping, Jane spent the day dreading another Dorian-less science class. Quinn had told Jane about Dorian before school started. As Jane approached Ms. Barch's class, she could hear the science teacher still ranting about the school's budget and the cancellation of a planned field trip. The class just sat as Ms. Barch continued to bang her ruler and mumble incoherently until the class was over. As the bell was ringing, Ms. Li's barely audible voice came over the PA announcing a school review, but couldn't hear when.

Jane walked to Schloss Morgendorffer and saw Jake's car in the driveway. Jake was heading out the door and told Jane that Dorian was awake. Jane nodded and went upstairs. Dorian was sitting at his desk, eating a slice of pizza. Turning around, Dorian offered her a slice. As they ate, she told him about what he missed and the school review meeting. A weird look came over his face when she mentioned it.

"Why would she announce a school review meeting after the bell?"

"I don't know, but I couldn't really hear when it was taking place. I'm sure Jodie will know something about it, we can ask her tomorrow."

Dorian agreed and went back to the pizza. A few minutes later, Quinn walked in to check on her big brother. As she took the cheese off of a slice, he asked Quinn if she heard Ms. Li at the end of the day. Quinn mentioned something about Friday night. We need to attend that meeting. We can't - Friday is our biggest game of the season. We are playing Oakwood at Oakwood, it's even going to be televised. Great, maybe we can talk mom or dad into going.

That night at dinner, Dorian asked if his parents were going to the school review meeting. Helen told him they couldn't because that was the same night as Eric's birthday dinner and they had to attend. Dorian sighed and headed upstairs. The rest of that week, Dorian wondered what was going to be said at the meeting. Dorian was going to see if Jane could go, but was shot down when Jane told him that she was riding with Jodie to the game.

During the game, the Dorian side of him was focused while the Daria side of him tried to figure out what Ms. Li was up to. The principal had arrived at the game at the end of the first quarter with a wicked grin on her face. Despite the Lawndale win, Dorian was not in the mood to celebrate. When the team arrived back in Lawndale, Jodie asked if him if he wanted to join Jane, Mack, and herself at Pizza King. Dorian thanked her for the offer, but refused. Jodie did volunteer to drive him home, which he accepted. Once at Dorian's house and citing more concern than hunger, Jane got out as well.

Once inside, they heard Jake laughing in the kitchen. Dorian and Jane walked into the room where Helen began to talk about the party fiasco. Eric had gotten so drunk that he passed out head-first into the birthday cake and almost caught his hair on fire. Jake did an impersonation that Dorian couldn't help but laugh at. Jake also congratulated him on Lawndale's victory. Dorian nodded and turned to Jane.

"Did you happen to hear anyone talk about that review meeting?"

"I heard Ms. Li tell Mr. O'Neill that their monetary crisis was over and when he asked how, she got silent."

Dorian shook his head. Jane was about to head home when Quinn walked in and asked if she could talk to her about a map drawing project she had due following week. The two sat down and began talking, which prompted Dorian to leave the room and go upstairs. While Quinn was at work the next day, Jane tweeked the map that they had drawn the night before. Dorian watched and admired Jane's passion for detail. The rest of the weekend went by quietly, with the Morgendorffers eating dinner over at Amy's on Sunday. Dorian told them about the school review meeting.

"Why didn't you ask one of us to go?" Lillian asked.

Dorian blinked twice before thwapping himself in the forehead. Lillian gave a small laugh. Monday morning, Dorian told Jane about the previous night's dinner. Jane had to agree with Lillian. When they walked into the school, they couldn't help but notice the Ultra Cola posters and soda machines that now lined the walls. Great, just we need the brain dead on a sugar rush.

As they walked down the hall to their lockers, Dorian and Jane ran into Kevin and Brittany. There were huge smiles on their faces and Ultra Cola cans in their hands. Dorian drew a long breath and sighed.

"Hey Dorian, I'm glad I saw you. We are having a team meeting after school, Coach wants to hand out our new helmets. We might even have a new scoreboard by the end of the season!"

"And we're getting new pom-poms!" Brittany squealed.

Dorian nodded as processed this information. I wonder how much money Ms. Li got for installing the new soda machines. I have no damn clue, but it couldn't have been pocket change. Meanwhile, the Daria side of him was chomping at the bit to make a snide comment. Dorian bit down on his lip in an attempt not to lose it. Jane gently nudged Dorian in the side, congratulated the two, and moved Dorian away from the two.

"Remember the last time you made a sarcastic comment to those two? The last thing we need is for them to take something else we say literally. Who knows what kind of chaos that would cause?"

"You have a point - considering the comment I was about to make involved naming their first born after Ultra Cola. With our luck, they would start making attempts for that right here in the hall," Dorian paused as he and Jane both shrugged with that image in their heads.

As the day progressed, the more the Daria side of him got riled. Jane tried to help by infusing humor into the situation, to no avail. Jodie and Mack joined them for lunch. They discussed the new additions to the school. Jodie was more relieved than upset with the situation. Last year's wrapping paper sale had been an absolute nightmare. Thanks to Daria, Dorian's mood continued to go downhill. After school, Dorian went to the locker room where he was given his new helmet. Well, at least they got the more safety advanced kind. Great, not you too. Hey, I'm not exactly happy with this either. Look a self-argument now would be bad. Let's wait til we get home and talk to mom. Okay? Like I really have a damn choice. Dorian closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

When Dorian got home, Helen was talking to Jake on the phone. Dorian sat down on the couch and waited. Seeing the look on Dorian's face, Helen finished the call and made her way to the couch.

"You're fathers on the way home with dinner. Is everything okay?"

"No - Ms. Li made some kind of deal with the Ultra Cola soda company. They put in a bunch of machines and posters throughout the school."

"I take it you're not happy with this."

"Daria isn't - we've been debating it all day."

Helen nodded. "Dorian, how do you feel about it?"

"I'm torn - yeah I hate the posters and I do think there are too many machines, but she is actually using some of the money to improve the school."

"Daria?"

"I don't like the idea of Lawndale High is being turned into a giant commercial for this company. School is bad enough with feeling pressured into having to buy soda every ten minutes," Dorian's voice monotoned.

"I see - you both have good points. Daria, let's give this thing a couple of weeks. If things get worse, let me know. In the meantime, I'll talk with Superintendent Cartwright."

"Thanks, mom - we love you," Dorian said as he headed for the stairs.

"You're welcome. I love both of you too," Helen said.

A week later, Helen came home and talked to Dorian about her meeting with Mr. Cartwright. Not only did he seem pleased but it, but wanted to make similar deals with the same company for other schools. However, after a little pressure he did agree not to talk with Mr. Lamb until he went by Lawndale High. The visit would occur sometimes within a month. Dorian thanked his mom. Two weeks later, Dorian and Jane were walking to school when of the buses rode past them, covered in Ultra Cola colors and signs. Dorian and Jane stopped walking and stared at each other in concern.

"That can't be a good sign," Jane said.

When they finally arrived at school, they opened the door. Dorian's stomach churned as he stared at the sight before them. The school was completely covered in Ultra Cola colors. Everywhere there were posters, banners, and even more machines. Even the floor was painted in hideous lime green and yellow. Dorian could feel the Daria side of him smiling. Ohhhh hell. Ready to admit which one of us was right?

Dorian had to agree with the overkill. Jane saw the look on his face and chuckled. Right after the bell rang; Ms. Li came over the intercom to announce that the time between classes was being increased for soda breaks. Then, as they arrived in each classroom, each teacher grumbled over the new "teaching aides" that had been provided by Ultra Cola. The highlight of the day had been Mr. DeMartino throwing his soda can-shaped globe onto the ground and then proceeded to stomp on it repeatedly. The rest of the week was filled with teachers ranting and students beginning to hate the smell of soda.

For her part, Ms. Li was proud of her newest money-making plan. That was until Friday morning when Leonard Lamb called her to inform her that the schools sales were "below budget" and that they would have to be increased. Ms. Li went into panic mode. That afternoon, as the football team was getting ready for a home game, Ms. Li announced a soda for grade improvement swap. Dorian looked over at his coach and was somewhat surprised when Coach Smith told her no. One, it could get the team in trouble. Two, the teams grades had improved with Dorian's help and lastly it could give the team upset stomachs.

"If they get sick - we'd have to forfeit. Think of the loss sales there." Coach Smith used her own argument against her. It was in that moment; Coach Smith had earned respect from not only Dorian, but Daria as well.

After the meeting, Dorian called his mom about what Ms. Li had tried to do. Helen decided to look at the contract between Ultra Cola and Lawndale High over the weekend. That night's game was tough, but Lawndale eeked out a victory. Despite the nearly packed stadium however, the school was still below their budget.

The following Monday, Ms. Li was pacing around her office drinking her fourth soda of the morning. Ms. Bennett was sitting down taking notes and trying to get the hyped-principal to lay off the caffeine for a while. Ms. Li's latest idea to increase sales was a far-fetched one. Have the elementary schools in the district come to Lawndale High for field trips. Ms. Li just shot her an evil face, causing the economics teacher to leave the office and immediately get on the phone. Ms. Li was now up to her sixth Ultra Cola and things were about to go haywire.

A few minutes later, the intercom came on and Ms. Li announced that every student was to leave their classrooms and buy soda. The announcement was followed shortly by the sound of breaking glass and the fire alarm going off. As his fellow students ran out of class; Dorian, Jane, and soon Quinn stood in the doorway in a somewhat state of shock. Ms. Li was carrying the fire hatchet and breaking open the soda machines. Just as he went to find a phone to dial 911, the main entrance doors opened. A bunch of little kids came in, followed by his mom, Superintendent Cartwright, and a very doomed looking Leonard Lamb. Dorian and Quinn were making their way over to their mom, when she started walking over to Ms. Li. Helen grabbed the axe out of the principal's hands, the force of which knocked the principal on her butt. The Morgendorffer siblings ran up to their mom and hugged her.

"Are you okay, mom?" they both asked.

"I'm fine - I just didn't want you," Helen winked "or anyone else to get hurt. I will bring you home after I finish with this little meeting."

Helen then handed the superintendent the weapon and continued to glare at Mr. Lamb. He called for an ambulance to pick up Ms. Li, and then ordered all the elementary students back on their buses. All of the students were asked to go to the gym. Mr. DeMartino and Ms. Barch were in charge while the Mr. Cartwright, Helen, and Leonard Lamb headed for the office. As they headed for the gym, Dorian turned around and gave his mom a thumbs up. A small smile came over her face as she returned the gesture. Lawndale High would be closed for the rest of that day and the following two days for clean-up "courtesy" of Ultra Cola. Dorian and Jane arranged to meet Jodie and Mack at Cluster Burger the next day for lunch.

"So, your mom found out that the Ultra Cola contract violated the state's Healthy Schools Bill?" Jodie asked.

"Yep - so they had to renegotiate. They are going to have to pay a lot more money, cover Ms. Li's hospital bill, get rid of a lot of soda machines and bring in at least two juice and two bottled water machines - neither of which they own. Another company will install them at Ultra Cola's expense. In exchange - they will be the exclusive soda of the school. Their logo will still be allowed on all sporting event tickets, scoreboards, and uniforms. They will also be allowed to paint a giant logo on the roof," Dorian replied between fries.

"Is it true that your mom took the axe from Ms. Li?" Mack asked. Dorian smiled and nodded.

"It was awesome - she planted Ms. Li on her pant-suited butt!" Jane laughed.

That Thursday, school re-opened. The walls were back to their normal colors and there were no more posters. Dorian watched as Mr. DeMartino looked like a kid at Christmas as he carried his three new up-to-date maps into his classroom. He heard the sound of the door open behind him. Dorian turned around to see four new printers being delivered. Then he looked up at a site that even made Daria smile. Jane and Ms. Defoe were laughing as they each carried two new boxes of art supplies.

"Thanks, Mom." Dorian whispered in a voice not his own as he made his way over to help open the art room door.

End of Chapter 16