~*~
Cause I love her with all that am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Cause it frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I'd rather be here than on land
Yes, she's all that I see and she's all that I need
And I'm out of my league once again
She looked so amazingly pretty tonight. Her hair was picked up in a high ponytail. Small curls were left loose and framed her heart shaped face. She wore a blue dress that made her look feminine and even more pretty than she was on a regular base.
He could feel the sweat form on his palms. She giggled with her friends and then she looked up. She wore makeup tonight.
Her eyes were smoky and the wonderfully warm brown eyes were brought out against her pale skin. She met his gaze and a warm pink blush trickled across her cheeks. He froze. She sent a smile his way and her bright pink lips caught his attention.
What would they feel like underneath his?
His own blush crept over his cheeks and she giggled turning back to her friends. The DJ started a slow song and he watched as couples took over the dance floor. This was his chance.
Edward nodded and took a deep breath. He wiped his palm on his dress pants and tried to calm the nerves.
Bella's friends began to disappear until it was her and Alice.
Bella took a curl into her finger and twirled it around as she watched the rest of the couples on the dance floor. Alice gave him a wink and ran off to ask Jasper Whitlock for a dance.
He took a step toward Bella and immediately took one back. His fingers shook softly and he took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves once more. He made his way to Bella. She smiled up at him and he was surprised to find that he had grown taller than her. How had he never noticed?
"Hey," she greeted. He smiled nervously and felt his hand pull lightly at the hair on the back of his head in a nervous habit.
"Hey," he said lamely and felt himself wince softly. The smile on her face only grew. He couldn't help the soft smile form on lips. Whenever she smiled at him he felt like his world had just been turned around, but it was a feeling he enjoyed.
"Was there a reason you came?" she asked helping him out. He let a breath out in relief.
"Yeah, I was wondering if…"
"Bella!" A tall figure made its way to them. Bella snapped her head toward the stranger. Edward began to walk backward and found himself in the exact place he had started the night in.
Bella smiled brightly at the new comer. He couldn't hear the words, but as she nodded enthusiastically at the stranger he felt his stomach fall. He swallowed hard when she took the boy's hand and he led her toward the dance floor.
Bella wrapped her arms around the stranger's neck and looked happy with this guy. Edward backed up until he was in the shadows of the gym.
Alice broke away from Jasper and made her way to him.
"Don't worry. It's just one dance," Alice said and patted his arm soothingly.
"Yeah I guess," he said and looked away from his friend as the feeling got worse. He glanced toward Bella to see her laughing about something the guy had said. Her laugh was like no one else's. When she laughed, you had to laugh right along, because it was infectious. But she wasn't laughing about something he said. She was laughing with the other guy.
"She likes you," Alice said and he glanced at his 14-year-old friend.
"Does she? She told you?" he asked his eyes lighting in hope.
"No, but I can tell. Girls have special ways of knowing things," she said and lifted her mouth in the famous Alice smirk.
"I wish I could feel the same," he said as he watched Bella lean her head on the guy's wide shoulders.
"Sam is no one," Alice said but bit her lip as she looked at the couple. He turned to see what she was looking at and watched as they left the gymnasium together. His throat felt suddenly tighter. Everything was wrong.
He should have never come to this stupid dance. Who cared if they were graduating eighth grade. He could have watched a movie to celebrate not come to this stupid dance.
"I'm leaving," he said and started to walk toward the opposite exits.
"Edward! You could still have fun," Alice said grasping onto his sleeve.
"What fun? I only came for her!" he said and shook his hand out of her grasp. He walked toward the exit feeling heartbroken.
He opened the doors and walked out.
. . .
She chewed her pencil slowly. His eyes crept away from his book as he glanced at her. Her brow scrunched up adorably and blood slowly colored her cheek. She looked away from her test and glanced at him.
'Stop' she mouthed but smiled despite herself. He chuckled.
'Sorry' he mouthed back and looked back down at his book. He flipped the page but soon the words blurred together and he was looking back toward her. She was pushing away the strands of hair from her face, only to have them flow back down like a waterfall.
She took a heavy breath and marked an answer on her test sheet. She bit her lip as she read the next one and he watched her eyebrows raise in question to it. She leaned away from the test and looked up. She caught him once more.
'Edward!' she scolded and he couldn't stop the full blown laugh that escaped him. She blushed heavily as a few students turned to stare at them.
When she was angry a light pink flush came over her face and her brows would knit together. She acted so ferocious, but she was simply adorable. It only made her angrier when he stared, but he couldn't help himself. Everything about her intrigued him.
"Something amusing, Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Steel asked lifting his eyes away from the novel. Edward shook his head.
"No," he replied and Bella hid herself with a curtain of chocolate hair.
"Then continue silent reading. Other students are still testing," he warned and buried his nose back into his book. Edward turned to look at Bella as her shoulders shook softly from her laughter. He smiled and opened the book once more.
Still he found himself staring at his 16-year-old friend over and over again. Eventually she finished her test and as she got up to turn it in she lightly slapped him on the back of the head. He laughed again as she walked back to the seat next to him and gave him a look. She bit her lip to stop the smile and then class was over.
"You're seriously distracting," she said as she placed her books into her bag. He lifted his over his shoulder and waited until she was ready to go. The rest of the class began to shuffle out.
"Is it my devilishly good looks?" he teased and she laughed as she swung her bag over her shoulder, and they began to walk out together.
"You wish," she mumbled and took his hand in hers. She leaned against his side and Edward felt the warmth of her body next to his. For that moment he was completely content. They walked down the hall way together heading toward the cafe.
He tightened his hold on her hand and she looked up at him through her impossibly long lashes. He smiled down and watched the blush spread like wild fire. There was nothing more beautiful than watching the blush color her cheeks. He couldn't help it. His fingers found a way to her face and he slowly traced the curve of one cheek with his fingers.
Her eyes widened slightly as they stopped in the middle of the hall.
"Hey Bella, I've been looking for you," Sam said coming up next to them. He took Bella's other hand in his. She snapped her head toward him and Edward watched as a bright smile replaced the blush he had just put there.
"I was just going to lunch with Edward," Bella explained still holding on to his hand. She lifted it to show and Sam narrowed his vision on them.
"Don't steal my girl, Cullen," Sam joked and an easy smile came over his face. Bella giggled and Edward lifted his mouth in a smirk.
"Wouldn't dream of it," he mumbled.
"Want to eat lunch in the field with me?" Sam asked Bella. She nodded happily and Sam began to pull her along down the hall. Bella freed Edward's hand and mumbled a quick bye as she walked away from him.
He stood frozen in the hall watching them leave for about 2 seconds, before shaking his head and making his way toward the cafe alone.
. . .
"Edward!" Bella called his name loudly as he stepped out the school building. His name floated over the afterschool crowd and he turned his head to watch her run toward him. He smiled brightly.
"I thought you left," she said breathlessly and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. He shook his head.
"Why would I?" he asked adjusting his book bag over his shoulder.
"Because your bus just left," she sang batting her eyelashes innocently.
"Aw you got to be kidding me!" he said and looked toward the school's driveway to see that it was indeed empty of buses.
"It's okay. I was hoping we could walk home together," she said with a smile and he was amazed how quickly his bad mood disappeared. He would do whatever she asked of him. He nodded slowly and was rewarded with another smile. His heart increased in tempo.
"Except there's one problem with that," he said as she looped her arm within his. When they were together like this he could almost pretend that everything was how he wanted and it was enough for that moment.
"Which would be?" she questioned.
"We don't live near each other," he said, laughing at her expression. She pouted softly and he wanted to kiss it away.
"So what about…you walk me home and then Charlie can drive you home?" she asked and he smiled. He would have walked her home whether or not he had a ride home.
"Sounds like a plan," he said and smiled brightly once more.
They began to make their way home and she talked about unimportant things. He watched her and listened to everything she had to say. He surprised her when he repeated everything back to her after she asked if he was listening.
She continued to talk about the approaching summer and how she was hoping to save enough money to buy a car. She talked about classes and about Sam. He didn't like that conversation but he listened anyway.
"He said he doesn't want to go to the summer night dance. But that's the best dance the school ever throws. I mean you don't even have to dance! You could just sit in the grass and watch the bands. Then at the end they have fireworks. I didn't get to go last year. I want to go," she said in a big breath and he laughed.
"I could take you," he offered and she smiled. The smile that made time freeze. His heart pounded a bit harder behind his chest.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah sure. Emmett's band has a gig in it. He would kill me if I didn't go," Edward explained hoping to assure her that it wouldn't be a big deal. She giggled happily and clapped her hands in excitement.
"That's great! It'll be so much fun, but…" she trailed off and a look of confusion replaced the one of excitement.
"But… what?" he asked adjusting the strap of his book bag.
"Well don't you want to ask someone?" she questioned. He tensed.
"Uh…no. I mean going with you is great. I wouldn't want to ask someone else," he admitted. She laughed.
"Was it my amazingly good looks?" she teased and he laughed.
"It was. You have no idea how you hypnotize me," he said in a teasing voice and she only fluttered her lashes. She really had no idea. He smiled softly down at her. She bit her lip as a silence came over them. He watched her. He took in every habit, every smile, and every look. She would never know either. She glanced at him suddenly and blushed. He loved that the most.
"What?" she asked as she gently stroked her cheek.
"Nothing," he said with a smile. They reached her neighborhood and suddenly she stopped walking. He walked a few steps ahead of her and stopped realizing she hadn't continued. He looked over his shoulder.
She stood pouting toward him. He sighed knowing this wasn't good.
"My feet are tired," she complained.
"We're two blocks away," he countered. She pouted again and widened her eyes in an expression he could never resist.
"Carry me," she begged. He laughed in shock.
"It's two blocks," he said and she pouted once more. He dropped his head in defeat and let out a long sigh. He shrugged out of his backpack and turned around. She giggled in delight and jumped on. He had to admit he liked carrying her. She placed her head on his shoulder and loosely hung on him.
"Thank you," she said and kissed his cheek. His cheek burned where she had touched him and he felt himself swallow a little harder.
"You're welcome," he said roughly and they began to walk the rest of the two blocks.
"I kinda miss you're old squeaky voice," she teased. He laughed.
"Well that's never coming back. I grew out of that about two years ago," he said and she sighed.
"When we came back for freshman year. But it's okay, I like you're new voice. It's deep and sexy," she teased and that sent them into another round of laughs.
"Sexy huh?" he asked when he stopped in front of her house. She climbed down and shot him a wink.
"Very sexy," she teased and they walked inside.
"See, I knew you we're checking me out," he commented and she pushed him lightly.
. . .
She shook her head to the music. Her hair whipped softly around her face and a small smile played on her lips. Her eyes were closed which sent shadows down her cheeks. Her eyelashes clumped together from the tears, but she looked so peaceful in that moment. Her cheeks were painted a light pink and her lips were shiny with gloss.
She didn't wear any eye makeup but she didn't need it. She looked beautiful without it. Her eyes opened slowly and suddenly he was lost in sea of brown. Her eyes watered a little bit more as she looked past his shoulder.
When he turned he saw why. Sam was twirling with the other girl. Her long dark hair was swishing across her back and an easy smile was on Sam's face.
He snapped his head back to her.
She climbed to her feet and picked up her shoes. She ran away from Edward and he sighed as he stood up to chase her. He left the blanket where it was. No one would take it. He glanced toward the stage and saw Emmett nod his okay from behind the drums.
Edward chased after her. She ran away from the crowds and the dance and the band until she fell somewhere along a hilly top. She sat there and cried heavily. He caught up and sat next to her. She threw herself on top of him and cried into his shirt. He rubbed her back softly.
"H-h-he to-t-took her," she sobbed into his chest. He rubbed her back softly and held her. He was afraid to let her go because he was the only thing keeping her together. He let her cry like the world was ending. It broke his heart to see her so sad. The tears running down her chin just didn't belong. He rested his head on top of her hair and the scent of strawberries and flowers drifted around him. He held her a bit tighter.
"She's not as pretty as you," Edward mumbled into her hair. She laughed bitterly in between her sobs.
"She's gorgeous," She whispered and the words brought on a fresh round of tears. Edward shook his head. Sam had broken up with Bella two days before the dance because he had met another girl. He broke her heart.
"She's got nothing on you. If Sam can't see that, then he's a fool," Edward whispered. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and he watched as the sobs calmed.
"I can't even be mad at him. He did it so nicely," she said with a sniff.
"I can," Edward said through gritted teeth. She placed a hand on his neck and calmed him with just a touch.
"Thanks, but…" she didn't continue. He felt the tears on his neck and knew she was crying again. He held her quietly. They didn't talk anymore. The music drifted above them and Edward recognized the song playing. So did Bella because she held her breath.
"Do you want to dance?" he asked and felt her nod against his neck. He stood and brought her to her feet. He gently placed his hand on her hips and she rested hers on his shoulders and they danced. The night was calm around them and he felt his heart beat hard behind his chest as they swirled to the music. She looked so amazingly sad, but Edward had never her seen her so beautiful. The tears glittered like diamonds in the pale moonlight.
The song brought memories of the dance into his head. His failed chance. If he had been able to ask her, maybe she wouldn't have tears in her eyes tonight. He wouldn't be trying to make her forget, but creating new memories for them to share.
The song eventually faded and they found themselves lying on the grass watching the sky. He pointed to the constellations he knew and she listened in fascination. The fireworks began shortly after and lit the sky with bright reds and yellows. Some formed pictures and others were simply so beautiful they made her gasp.
He watched her with a lazy smile. Her hair spread around her like a halo. It was nice to see the sadness fade away from her features as she watched the show. Her eyes lit in wonder to every new thing and he was perfectly happy watching her enjoy them. She looked away and spotted him looking at her.
"Thank you for this," she said in a hoarse voice. He lifted his head and supported it on his hand as he glanced at her.
"Anytime," he said honestly. She smiled and turned her attention back to the sky. He relaxed on to the ground. His heart began to beat impossibly fast and he realized this wasn't just a crush anymore.
He was in love with Bella. He turned his head and knew for sure this was love. It was far too strong to be a simple crush. People didn't feel this about just anybody.
He wasn't sure how he had felt about this, but somehow it didn't make much difference.
He would worry about it later. For now he wanted to lie next to her and pretend.
And so he did.
. . .
She flipped her hair over her shoulder and glanced down at the water. The bathing suit she wore hugged all her curves and showed just enough of her amazingly smooth skin. She chatted with Alice. Then suddenly Alice jumped into the pool and swam toward the middle begging Bella to join her.
Bella shook her head and turned. She met Edward's gaze who had been watching her as he stood near the screen door. She narrowed her eyes toward him and he shot her a wicked smirk. Her eyes widened in realization and she tried to move but he had started to run.
He wrapped his arms around her waist. He held his breath and felt her hands grasp onto his back. He heard her scream as they flew into the air and then he heard nothing. He opened his eyes under the water to see her float to the surface slowly. Her hair a tangled web around her and her face scrunched up as she held her breath. She pushed herself up with her arms and he did the same.
They broke the surface at the same time. He pushed his hair back and she gasped air as she pushed her hair away from her own face.
"Edward!" she screeched but he only laughed. Alice and Emmett joined into the laughter. She began to swim toward the edge but he caught her in his arms once again.
"You're already in," he stated and she sighed in defeat as she pushed away from him. She began to swim toward the shallower end of the pool where she would at least be able to touch the ground. He followed behind her and then Jasper and Rosalie showed.
They stayed in the pool for hours enjoying the rare sunshine and heat of the day. Soon the pool began to empty as the sun set. It was just Edward and Bella. She sat on a lounge float and he watched as she curled her legs and closed her eyes. He rested his elbows on the edge and kicked idly under the water.
"You know what would really suck," he said nonchalantly. She opened her eyes and stared down at him.
"What?" she asked.
"If I flipped this over," he said coolly. She narrowed her eyes.
"You wouldn't," she challenged. He raised his brows.
"Wouldn't I?"
"I'm calling you're bluff," she said and he gave her his famous smirk before grasping onto the edges and flipping the float. She didn't even have time to scream before she was dunked into the water.
She popped up immediately.
"You're so dead Cullen!"
"You wish Swan!"
She began to splash him heavily. He sputtered water and grasped her waist once more. She screamed in surprise as he lifted her and dropped her back into the water.
"No fair!" she called as she broke the surface.
"All is fair in love and war," he called. She laughed threw herself at him. The sudden onslaught caught him off guard and then they were both under the water. Before she could reach the surface he grasped her waist underwater. His vision was blurry but he could still make her out. They popped up together.
She was breathless and so was he. She loosely wrapped her arms around his neck. He pushed her up against the pool wall.
"Am I dead yet?" he asked in a whisper as he stared into her eyes. If she told him he was he would believe it. It was heaven to have her body pressed against his like this. His lips only inches away from hers and her arms wrapped around his as she played with the curls on the nape of his neck. She looked so amazing. Her hair was pushed back and away from her face. Her thick black eyelashes clumped together and tiny droplets of water ran down her face slowly. Her normally pale skin was just a bit darker from the sun and her cheeks were pink.
Since the dance at the beginning of summer their friendship had grown, but he couldn't admit how he truly felt toward her.
He would be giving her everything if he did. She would have his whole world in her hands and if she rejected him than he wouldn't have a world anymore. He couldn't let that happen. He watched her breath pick up.
His thoughts left his mind as she used the water to raise herself to his level. Her face came closer to his and soon their noses were touching. He couldn't breathe anymore. She was so close. He felt his eyes droop and then he felt her warm breath fanning over.
She tilted her head and he tilted his the other way and soon their lips were barely a breath apart. He could feel the outline of her mouth ghosting over his.
"Are you guys going to eat?" Rosalie said walking onto the patio. Edward pushed against the wall and floated away from Bella.
"Yeah. We'll be there in a minute," Bella answered with a heavy breath. There was a good five feet between them once more and she stared at him with soulful eyes. Her eyes asked questions he was afraid to answer.
"We should go," Edward said swimming toward the edge with the ladder.
"Yeah," she mumbled and he allowed her to climb out first feeling like a failure.
Another missed chance.
. . .
She laughed effortlessly. The laugh floated over the music and went straight to him. She ran a hand through her tasseled locks and smiled at the tall form in front of her. She looked away and the stranger guided her vision back by gently guiding her chin toward him.
"This is your chance," Emmett said slapping Edward hard on the back. Edward stumbled with the force but shook his head as the sudden nausea crept up.
"She's…with that…guy" Edward said feeling the jealousy and hopelessness.
"Who? Jim? He's got nothing on you," Emmett said grasping Edward's shoulder and bringing his little brother closer to him.
"Maybe… I well maybe…" Edward stuttered not knowing what to say. His brother gave him a grin and began to lead him toward the couple.
"Hey Jim, I was thinking about that new song lyric and I don't think we should start with the chorus," Emmett said putting his arm over the tall blonde. His blue eyes drifted from Bella to his band mate.
"Could we—"
"No it's pretty important," Emmett informed him as he dragged him away from Bella. Edward stared at the retreating forms with a grin on his face. He turned back toward Bella and it washed away.
"Hey, you," she said with a smile making her eyes glitter in the dim light.
"Hey," he said in what he hoped was a confident tone.
"I thought you were avoiding me," she said and the blush crept up her neck and fanned out toward her cheeks.
"How could anyone avoid you," Edward said with a grin and a shy smile was placed over her features.
"How you enjoying the party?" she asked turning the punch around in her cup.
"Well it was better than the stupid dance we had in eighth grade," he mumbled without thought and watched a crestfallen look fall upon her. He swallowed audibly.
"Gosh I didn't mean to bring—"
"No, it's fine. I'm over it," she said and smiled again. The smile made her face brighten and he felt the nerves wash over him like a rough sea wave.
"Good. Um do you know whose throwing this party anyway?" he asked looking around at the sea of bodies. He thought he spotted Alice in the mob, but couldn't be sure.
"Tyler Crowley, or maybe Mike. I don't know where they live so I can't be sure who this house belongs to," she said looking around. He laughed and scratched the back of his neck.
"So um…do you wanna take a walk with me?" he asked staring at her with hopeful eyes. She nodded brightly and placed the cup on the table. She grasped his hand and led him toward the door.
They were outside in an instant walking down the quiet suburban street. The night was cool and brisk. Crickets chirped at a steady pace and the air smelled of summer. Their footsteps were the only sound around them.
Bella played with her nails and he took a deep breath.
"So—"
"I—"
They stopped and laughed at the awkward situation. He motioned for her to proceed.
"I was just thinking that… we'll this might be the last time we see each other," she said and bit the inside of her cheek. He stopped walking. She walked a few steps ahead and then stopped as she turned to see why he stopped. They were a few paces away from a street lights so he could see her clearly.
"Do you really think this is it?" he asked and took the few steps to stand in front of her.
She looked down and shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't know. I hope not but—"
"Bella," he whispered cutting her off. She looked up toward him and he saw her eyes glittering with unshed tears. He didn't know what gave him the courage. He didn't know how he had decided, but he simply couldn't not tell her.
With a deep breath in his lungs, he began to speak.
"When you were 14 I tried asking you to dance. I chickened and Sam got there before me. When we were 16 and you broke up with Sam, I held you while you cried like the world were ending. During that summer I almost kissed you. I held you when you fell asleep during our movie night. I let you cower at my side when we watched a scary movie. When you were 17 I asked about junior prom and you said you weren't going so I never asked you directly," he took a moment to breathe and gain his confidence again.
"Edward I—"
He held a finger toward her lips and cut her off. She hushed and he continued.
"Now were 18 and I'm terrified. Do you know why?" he asked and she shook her head slowly watching him with wide eyes.
"I'm scared because I'm telling the girl I love how I feel. I'm scared because she just told me she didn't think she would see me again. I'm scared because she might reject me. I'm scared because she might just say she feels the same way and…" he stopped to swallow as he stared at her eyes.
"And… I'm scared because if she does say that, then she's just taken control of my whole world," he said slowly and her eyes continued to water without spilling. It was quiet around them and Edward could hear nothing but the heavy pulse of his heart behind his ear.
"Please…say something," he said after the quiet had stretched for way too long. He didn't know what he was doing and the silence was killing him.
"I love you, too," she whispered and his eyes widened as she tiptoed to place her lips on top of his. Her hands came up to cup his face slowly and he moved his lips around hers. His heart pounded at a rhythm he was sure was unhealthy. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.
He could feel her lips turn into a smile under his and he kissed her harder in joy. The feeling was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Her lips were soft and sweet and molded around his as though they were made to be there. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss and found himself supporting her body completely. She giggled as she pushed away and grasped his hand in hers.
"Took you long enough," she said with a smile and he stared at her stun as she led him back toward the party. He followed her, staring at nothing and trying to comprehend what she had just said.
Would he ever get used to her?
He hoped not.
. . .
Her hair was placed in a messy bun on top of her head. Her cheeks were pink and light sheen of sweat was covering her forehead. She stared at the wall intently placing her hands on her jean clad hips. Edward's sweater was hanging off one shoulder and the sleeves billowed around her arms, but he loved when she wore it.
He came around her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He placed his chin on her shoulder and she leaned her head against his as she hugged his arms that rested on her belly.
"Hello handsome," she whispered and placed a kiss on his cheek. He hummed in contented bliss and pulled her tighter against him.
"What are you looking at?" he asked and she pointed to an empty wall.
"We need something here. I just haven't decided what," she said and he laughed.
"We just settled everything in. Can't decorating wait?" he asked staring around their new apartment. She shook her head.
"No! Decorating helps make it feel like home," she said and rested against his chest.
"No. Having you here makes it feels like home," he said and kissed her neck. She giggled slightly.
"Okay, I'll let it go. Just this once," she said and turned around in his arms wrapping her own around his neck. He smiled and she kissed it.
"That's all I'm asking," he said and she rolled her lovely brown eyes.
"Let's go to bed. I'm tired," she said and dragged him toward their room. He laughed and swooped her up in his arms as they walked toward their room. She shrieked in delight and giggled when he dropped her on the bed. He climbed over her and kissed each cheek before placing one on her lips.
"I love you," he breathed.
"I know," she whispered back.
The next day Edward couldn't calm his nerves. He sat on the couch and pretended to be completely calm but he wasn't. His leg kept twitching and he couldn't concentrate on the television. He stared at the wall and then looked back at the TV.
The door opened and his heart raced.
"I'm home," she called and he took a deep breath.
"Wow it feels so funny saying that. But in a good way," she said walking into the living room. Her hair was picked up in a pony tail. He smiled at her and for a moment he felt serene, but only for that moment. She settled herself next to him.
"Welcome home," he greeted and kissed her cheek as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She laid her head on his chest.
"Thanks. What are we watching?" she asked. He bit his cheek unsure how to answer. He had no idea.
"I don't know," he replied deciding honesty was indeed the best policy. She giggled and snuggled closer.
"Silly," she whispered.
"I found a picture to hang on the wall," he said coolly. She sat up and stared at him.
"Really?" she asked raising her eyebrows and he nodded toward the wall.
"You hung it al—" her voice trailed as she stared at the picture. She stood slowly and looked at the picture frame. It was a simple wooden frame.
But inside was a black background and on it was a ring. She took the frame down and peeled the ring out of the picture frame. She gasped in shock and when she turned around he was waiting for her on his knee.
"You said decorating made it feel like home. I couldn't a picture a better way of making this home. You are my home. You always have been," he said and she stared at him with watery eyes. He stood slowly and took the ring from her shaky fingers.
"Will you marry me?" he asked in a breath and she could only nod. He took her hand and slowly slid the ring onto her finger. She drew a shaky breath and threw her arms around him. The force was unexpected and sent them back onto the couch.
They laughed quietly and he held her to him.
He didn't think he could fall more in love with her, but he was pretty sure he just had.
"Yes, yes, yes," she whispered and began to pepper kisses all over his face. He held her waist as she straddled him. She pulled away and he stared at the lovely brown eyes. The eyes that looked at him with love and adoration. His chest felt a little lighter. He felt a little happier.
She smiled and his world was lit. He was entering a whole new stage of love, a whole new stage of commitment, but he was ready for that. He was ready for her.
He had always been.
. . .
He paced the small waiting room. His hair was even messier than normal. He held heavy bags under his eyes and his face was clear of color. His eyes were dim and he couldn't settle down. He tugged at his hair in worry and held the tears back.
"Edward, she'll be okay," Alice whispered and rose from the chair. He stared at her with frantic eyes. Alice felt her heart break for him. Bella was his world. She patted his arm and led him to the sofa. He sat and let his head fall back. She sat next to him and rubbed his arm soothingly.
Emmett stared at his brother with sad eyes. He didn't think fate could be so cruel. He didn't think a love like theirs could ever be separated.
"Oh god, Alice what do I do…" he begged and felt his throat tighten.
"Cullen?" a smooth voice asked and Edward snapped his head up to see a tall man in a white coat. He stood quickly. The doctor walked out the small waiting room and Edward followed closing the door behind him.
"What's going on? How's Bella? How's the baby?"
"Well…the baby is healthy and doing well. The nurses are feeding her, but…your wife, she couldn't handle the labor. She's touch and go right now. There's a low chance she'll make it," the doctor said and continued to explain further but Edward couldn't hear anything pass that. His knees felt week and the tears he had held back came full force.
"Oh god," he groaned feeling the pain everywhere.
"I'm sorry. We're doing everything we can," he explained placing a comforting hand his patient's upper arm.
Edward didn't feel it. He didn't feel anything but the excruciating pain building up in his chest. It wasn't possible to live through this pain. The door opened suddenly and Alice and Emmett stood at the door. Alice led Edward back into the room while the doctor explained to Emmett.
"She can't leave," Edward sobbed and fell into the small chair by the door. Alice sat next to him. He couldn't do it alone.
He couldn't explain to his daughter how great her mother was without having her mother by him. He couldn't raise her without Bella. This was their child and God couldn't rob her of that. He couldn't rob his daughter of a mother as wonderfully fantastic as Bella.
"She's everything Alice," He whispered and she tried to soothe him.
"I know, honey, I know," she whispered back and rubbed his back.
Every moment of their time together flashed into his eyes. Her laugh. Her smile. Her blush. Her hair, her face, her nose, her everything.
Her eyes. The deep soulful eyes that captured him from the very beginning. Would he never see her wonderful eyes stare back at him, again? Was he bound to never see them shine with love? Could that really be taken away from him?
He fell in love with those eyes. He fell in love with the woman and if she were gone than so was he.
He had given her the capability to destroy him and this was exactly what she was doing.
He needed her.
. . .
"And this is Mommy!" his four year old daughter pointed to the picture of Edward and Bella the day they had moved into their first apartment.
"Good. And this?" he said holding up another picture.
"This is Aunt Alice," she said with a delighted grin. Deep soulful eyes met his and he smiled. Those were Bella's eyes through and through. She even had the deep lashes to frame them. She was so much like Bella that he found it hard to miss her.
"Good. And this?" he said holding the picture of her in his arms the day they brought her back from the hospital.
"That's me! Daddy that's me!" she said in delight and clapped her small hands together. He stared at the picture and made a face.
"Oh I don't know. This looks to pretty to be Nessie," he teased and she widened her eyes in shock just like Bella.
"That's mean Daddy. Look, look at my eyes! Those are my eyes!" she said indignantly and Edward thumped his head in mock realization.
"Of course those are your eyes. They're very pretty," he mused and stroked her cheek softly. She smiled a toothy grin making her cheeks tint pink. His smiled faded slowly.
"Tank you. I like my eyes," she said and widened them and sucked her cheeks in together to make a fish face. Edward laughed loudly and did the same as he planted kisses on her face. She giggled loudly.
"I love your eyes. You got Mommy's eyes," he said and handed her the picture of Bella and Edward together. She took it in her hands and stared at it. She nodded seriously.
"Yes. I got Mommy's eyes," she said and then smiled at her father. He laughed placed the pictures back into the book as he closed it with a snap.
"Okay kiddo, time for bed," he said and Renesemee pouted playfully.
"Aw," she said, but didn't fight. He went to take the picture, but she snatched it back.
"I want it," she said and he relented.
"Okay. Gimme kiss," he said and she kissed his cheek sloppily. He laughed and turned off her night side lamp.
He stood and walked out the door while sending one last glance at his daughter. He walked toward the living room and placed the photo album back in the bookshelf.
Their wedding day picture caught his attention and he smiled as he stared at her. A bright smile over took her face and she looked happier than ever. He made her that happy.
He walked toward the bedroom and got under the covers.
"Is she asleep?" his wife asked from beside him.
"As asleep as you are," he said and she turned around to face him. The moonlight gave her face a bluish glow but she looked lovely in it anyway. She rose softly and kissed him. He hummed in pleasure and sunk further onto the covers dragging her body over his.
"I was waiting for you. I can't sleep without you," Bella whispered and her voice blended into the night. He felt a smile over take his face as he caressed her cheek.
"You're my everything," he told her and she smiled.
"I love you," she whispered and kissed him once more. He ran his fingers through her hair and her eyes stared at him with wonder. He couldn't express the love for her. She curled at his side and before he knew it they were both sleeping.
He awoke early and stretched his arms patting the empty bedside next to him. He turned and stared at the made up bed. She was gone. She always was.
He took a deep breath to push away the grief. He heard scuffling outside his bedroom door. He turned toward it as it crept open slowly. Seeing her father up, she gave a huge smile and proceeded to open it further.
Nessie bounced into the room and sat on the bed.
She stared at him with wide eyes and he smiled. Wide brown eyes filled with love. That was never taken away.
"Hey, cupcake," he greeted.
"Hey Daddy," she said in response.
"You know what?" he said sitting up. She shook her head making her curls bounce.
"You're my world," he said and she smiled.
"I know that. You tell me all the time!" she said.
"Do I?" he asked and she nodded. He sent her an evil glare and tickled her side. She screamed in laughter and he smiled.
Bella wasn't gone at all. She was there like she always was and Nessie was just another piece of her. It was hard on some days and easy on others. He knew the grief would never truly go away, but it was getting better. He didn't live in the past, though sometimes he wished he could. He moved forward and created new memories.
His past was unforgettably amazing. Yet the future held promise and he would be okay.
The world with Bella had stopped spinning. It was frozen in sweet memories and love. Bella didn't leave him frozen in that world.
She left him with a new one that spun everyday.
The End
This is a one-shot! It will not be continued. It's based off the song Out of My league by Stephen Speaks. If you haven't heard it, please do. It's amazingly sweet.
I always write stories on how much Bella loves Edward, but it wanted to show that it goes both ways. The ending wasn't what I was planning. I wanted a light fluffy story, but the ending wrote itself and I cried and argued and did my best to turn it around, but it told me no and that was how it must end. After I took a few days to settle with it, I decided to post it on FF.
I really hope you like it. Please Review!