This wasn't the first time I sat here wrapping him up, no, and most likely it would not be the last time either, what was he fighting for this time? I never asked him, but I knew to him it was important, he was looking at me through it all. When I rounded the corner to see him lying there, getting kicked in the gut, to the point where I reached his attackers and flung them to the side. He was staring at me, with his wide blue eyes.
And I felt rage, a fury burning deep within my stomach that rose to my lungs, I let out a scream then, and I could hear him gasp. He had never seen me angry before, but then I was still very new to these emotions, the ninja's before me flinched slightly, I did not know what I looked like, but they were afraid now, I advanced on them and they turned to run, I would have given chase too, if it where not for him saying my name softly. How is it that he can command such feelings from me, that just in hearing my name I froze.
I turned to him, looking at those clear blue eyes, there was blood trickling from his mouth, but he was smiling. I bent down to him and he raised his arm to wrap over my shoulder, I helped him to his feet and together we moved.
"Sai…" He said it so softly that it made my breath stall for a moment "please don't take me to the medical unit… I don't want to explain this"
What could I do? I brought him here, to my apartment, I knew I had medical supplies, and I could tend to him, and I knew he would appreciate not having to travel the far journey back to his apartment. So I sat there, on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arm as I did once before, I was curious as to why he did this, but I was not going to pry, it was not my business, then a hand was placed over mine, stopping my movements. I looked up to see what he wanted, but he was looking away from me.
"Sai…" Again his voice was soft, but also demanding, I said nothing, but I listened carefully "that time… what you said to me then, did you mean it?"
I blinked slowly, I wasn't sure what he meant, but his hand began to squeeze over my own, his eyes began to water, was Naruto going to cry? I felt a sharp pain in my chest and I realised what he meant, I turned his face, forcing him to look at me, and I nodded to him.
"I would never hurt you Naruto, I promise this to you"
His tears slowly slid down his cheek and he nodded to me, I felt his hands move up my back and slowly he pulled me towards him, his head pressed to my chest and I did the only thing I knew to do, I placed my arms around him and closed my eyes, just holding him as he needed to be.
"I never had a family before, so it was hard for me to know how to deal with the loss of someone that had grown close to me, I guess I was blind back then, I thought if I believed in something hard enough, it would come true, I was wrong though, perhaps I should have known it from the start, we never really got along very well, but I thought I could understand him a little"
I listened to the blond as he talked about the missing nin, Sasuke, the man that brings him so much pain, I wanted to sooth him, but I did not know how, so I just sat there, listening to him
"But I guess power was all that really fuelled him, I don't understand that, his lust for revenge, his hatred, nothing, I don't understand him at all, all that time we were together, and the only thing I knew about him was an image I had created in my head"
He pulled back, looking at me, willing me to say something, anything to comfort him, but I can not, what he is saying is the truth, yet there must be something I can say? I close my eyes and think for a moment, just listening to the sound of his breathing in comparison to my own… then words come to me.
"Naruto, there are things you can never fully understand in this world, revenge… hatred? They are merely tools used to drive people insane, it was something that, with training, could be erased from a persons mind, but in order to do that, you must also sacrifice other things, happiness, comfort, love… Sasuke must have known these things, he must have had those experiences in his life to have such a bitter hatred now, and if he has known them once, there is a hope he might know them again, I believe that you are the only one that could do that for him…"
I said the words wanting so desperately not to, not to push him further towards that missing nin, and away from me, but Naruto just smiled at me, his hand coming to rest on my cheek as he did so.
"Thank you Sai, and… I'm sorry"
There it was again, that apology, I smiled back to him and just resumed my work on his bandaging, there was silence for a while, nothing but the sound of the fabric moving against itself and our soft breathing, but then it ended, I tucked the bandage in, and Naruto lay back to my bed, he would heal fast I knew, but it irked me that he had gotten like this again… all for Sasuke.
I made to move away from him, let him rest, but I felt his hand grip to my arm, I looked down to him, his bright blue eyes staring up at me, him saying nothing, just looking, I felt myself relent and I resumed sitting to the bed, but his hand did not stray from my arm, and his eyes did not waver from mine, and so I asked him.
"Why do you do this to yourself Naruto?"
He smiled then, and I knew I should not have asked him, I should know why, truly I should, but to me it seems irrational something I just can not understand, but he just shook his head slightly and I frown.
"Sai… why did you stop them from hitting me?"
I falter, I can not explain it myself, I just, I did not want to see him suffer anymore, and now he is smiling again.
"it's like that for me too Sai, I can not allow my friends to be hurt, before it was to protect Sasuke, but this time it was for another reason… those guys from before, you know what they wanted?"
I shook my head, but he continued to speak
" Mostly all of the members of root are targets now that Danzo has been branded a traitor, people are mad at him, and they want to get back at all of those associated with him, they were after you tonight, they wanted to know your weakness Sai…"
My eyes widen in horror and a warm feeling spreads within me, I am happy, but angry all at the same time, this idiot, how could he do something so stupid, for me? I clench my fist and he grins at me, he must realise I am angry now, so he sits up, he puts a hand on my shoulder to calm me, and it is only then that I realise that I am shaking. He opens his mouth to speak, but I start to shake my head… it's too much.
"Don't… Naruto, don't do that, I can bare it, if you got hurt…"
My words fail as I realise that he has already been hurt… for me. And now an altogether new feeling sets in. Guilt. Like a sickening churning in my stomach, I feel sick and angry all at the same time; I stand and move away from him, pacing the room. It is at times like these that I curse ever rediscovering my emotions, before I could have just accepted that fact that a comrade got hurt or even died in order to protect a member of root, it was our training after all, but now, Now it's all different, This is not a comrade, this is Naruto, he is more then that, he is a team mate, No. He is a friend. I turn to look at him again. Him looking so helpless on the bed, his eyes seem lost, and I realise my moving away from him might have hurt him, so I pinch the bridge of my nose and make an effort to explain.
"Naruto… it's… When I see you like this… its like a pain ripping through my chest, breaking me from the inside, I don't want to feel this way… but I can not help it, every time you are hurt, it is the same, I feel my muscled tense, I get a pain in my head and I sometimes forget how to breath… but this… this is worse, knowing you were hurt, because of me… it makes me angry, and I don't even know who I am angry at… Myself for not being strong enough that you would think me capable to defend myself? You for not believing in me? Or your assailants for bringing this pain upon you in the first place…"
I sigh then, that must have been the most I have ever said to him. My hand falls to the side and I walk over to my bedside where he is sitting up looking at me with those wide eyes. I sit next to him and hang my head… I don't know what else to say, almost like I used up my daily allowance in that one monologue… but I then feel an arm wrap around my shoulder, and I am slowly pulled towards him again, I raise my head slightly to look at him, and I am shocked to find his face close to him. Heat begins to flair on my cheeks, it is not the first time it happened, but I realised a while ago that it is directly connected to Naruto… I begin to analyse this in an attempt to cause a distraction for myself, Sakura told me it is called blushing, and usually connected to an attraction, so following this logic, it would be clear that I am attracted to Naruto, and seeing as Naruto is a man, it would mean I am Gay, something I know also that Naruto is not…
I look up again, only to find that he is still looking at me, his eyes are serious now, and there is a heat on his cheeks too. My eyes widen a touch and a lump catches in my throat. He begins to lean in and I hold my breath.
"Sai… Don't... just don't move okay?"
I don't. I couldn't even if I wanted to. His lips are softer then I thought they would be, they brush against mine, and a thrill of excitement runs through my body. I feel strange, my entire body feels anxious to move to him now, but I remain still, the only action I take is to close my eyes like Naruto. His lips touch to mine again, and he sucks to mine softly, and I feel myself mimicking it. Each action is very slow, but I decide I like it, and after a moment, Naruto pulls back from me, I open my eyes to look at him, and I breathe for the first time since we started, he is looking at me almost nervously, and I can only smile, that smile soon turning into a grin. He grins back at me and laughs.
"I thought is would feel weird… but I liked that" He laughs again and shakes his head a bit "No…I like you, Sai"
It feels like something bursts inside me, filling me with warmth, and I am almost shocked when I feel to hot tear spill down my face, reaching my hand up to touch them in disbelief… but I am smiling, I am so happy it almost hurts, and my voice cracks as I respond to him.
"Naruto… I like you too"