(A/N: Based on my friend, who has run over/stepped on/sat on his iPod shuffle more times than he can count. And it still works! I wonder how they do that…)

Sirius was confused. Not just wrinkling-of-the-eyebrows confused, more like flat-out bamboozled. He stared at the little object with bamboozlement written across his face. Its little black body stared back defiantly. He nudged it with his toe. It started screeching out Jewish-sounding music. Loudly. Sirius crouched down next to it saying,

"Shit. Shut up. Shut it, you goddamn little thing!" It kept buzzing. Finally, Sirius just kicked it into the stone wall. It kept at it. But now music was blaring loudly, the beeping continuing in the background. Remus left the library and walked around the corner to find out what the hell was disturbing his reading. When he saw Sirius, it automatically registered in his brain that a sigh of exasperation was in order. He sighed in exasperation, and walked over. Blaring from the small indestructible device were the words

Everywhere I go

Bitches always know

Charlie Scene…

Remus rolled his eyes and picked up the little noisemaker. He pushed the off button, and then helped Sirius up from his fetal position. Sirius's throat was still raw from screaming, "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STAHHHHHHHPPPPP…"

Remus rolled his eyes and said,

"And what were you doing?" Sirius grinned sheepishly and said,

"Uh… investigating the wonderful workings of the Muggle mind?" Remus's eyes just about popped out of his head as he said,

"You know those words?" Sirius rolled his eyes and said,

"Uh… yeah?" Remus shook off his surprise and said,

"Nevermind. What were you doing with Lily's iPod?" Sirius cocked his head to one side like a dog and said,

"What's an iPod?" Remus rolled his eyes and pointed to the little black monster on the floor and said,

"That is an iPod. This particular type is called an iPod Shuffle. Think of it as a portable radio where you can control what it plays." Sirius looked down at it curiously. Remus picked it up and said,

"I really should get this back to Lily." He pocketed it, and walked off. For the rest of the day, Sirius hummed under his breath,

"Everywhere I go

Bitches always know

Sirius Black is at their back

Waiting to get laid…"

(A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, or iPod company. Hell, I don't even have an iPod. Lots of thanks to the people who bother read this shit! And the song is 'Everywhere I Go' by Hollywood Undead. My friend introduced me to it.)