A/N: I'm finally submitting this! I had it since before April Fool's day, and now it's July. Ugh, I suck. Any way, I wrote this for April Fool's Day long ago. Sorry that it fails. I had too much fun with this. =3=

April Fool's Day; a holiday that many wouldn't think a boy like Matthew would enjoy. Oh but he did. He enjoyed every second of it, every groan of despair he would receive, every angry phone call, because it meant that for a rare moment, he was receiving attention. Today, was that dreadful day. Dreadful? Oh god yes, Matthew found his inner prankster on this day, but he was lacking in...good pranks you see. This year he took to the phones and decided that he would call every single person he could, and every single person was going to give him that oh so beautiful attention he craved. In fact, he had already gone through most of his phone book and received the gift he'd been searching for.

"April Fool's? Awwwwww man! Who is this again? Matt? You like...got me. I seriously thought you were confiscating my skirts."

"Well it's what I do, Feliks," Matthew chuckled and hung up the phone, adjusting himself on the couch, dialing France's number.

The phone rang for a while, then France answered with a bit of song to his, "Saluuut Matthieu!~"

"Papa! It's serious! I'm bleeding!"

"Oh mon Dieu! Where?"

"Out of...out of the hole Papa! It's bleeding! I think I grew breasts too!" After Matthew's false cry for help, there was silence on the line. "Papa?" Of course, Matthew was trying his best not to laugh until he heard the reaction of his victim.

"Hah hah...did you know that I care about mon petit? Even when he is out on his own? In fact, I care about him more when he's out on his own, and all he calls me for is...to pull a horrible trick on me. I don't know what it is I feel, but I'm sure it's close to-"

"Humiliation?" Matthew offered a word he hoped would fall from the other's mouth, "any way, April Fo-"

"Heartbreak," Francis sighed and sniffled a bit, "have a nice day...mon petit."

The phone call ended, and all the North American could do was laugh his ass off. Of course, he was well aware that Francis had been demonstrating one of his uncommonly concerned and serious moments, but he cared not. "Some people can't take a joke, how funny." Ah yes, this was Matthew at his worst. He was already somewhat of a jerk before, but today was...his insane day, if one would call it that.

Before he could call someone else, someone called him; which he wasn't surprised to see that the caller ID said the caller was Arthur. He answered with his British salesman voice, "Good day old chap!"

"Matthew! Francis is crying on my couch! What the hell did you do? He's sobbing out your name damn it!"

"Woooooot? I did not do a thing," he paused, a grin forming on his face, "but I must ask cheerio, good chap, is your refrigerator running perhaps?"

Arthur groaned and hung up the phone, only to have Matthew call right back, "then you better go catch it! Hah hah! April Fools!"

"Matthew I swear I'll smash your arse with a black spoon you...you...go play in traffic or find a time to grow the hell up!" The phone call ended again, and Matthew laughed until he was red in the face. "Oh oh! I know who next!" He dialed another number, clearing his throat when the phone began to ring.

"Sup," the cheerful voice was muffled by the sound of a potato chip bag.

"Alfred," Matthew drawled out seductively.

"...Matt?"

"Oh Alfred, I've been thinking of you all night." In his mind, Matthew was thinking of the most lewd things that he had remembered from the porn he watched on Saturdays.

"You...have? Wait, Mattie what are you-"

"What am I doing? I'm undressing myself just for you, Al."

"Matt I..." Alfred sighed into the phone and let out a little noise, which pushed Matthew to keep going with his joke.

"And I've been thinking of your hands all over my body, every where," the Canadian disguised his giggle as a gasp, "Gosh, Alfred come over here and touch me! Please!"

"Oh my freaking god! Mattie-" and just like that, the phone call ended. Matthew stared at his phone, and after a while shrugged, dialing another number. When the person he called answered, he received the belch of a drunken Gilbert, yelling silly things like, "And who says bacon isn't good in potatoes huh? Not you huh?"

The confused man scratched his head, "Ah, well it isn't bad but I think potatoes are good with other potatoes...?" Remembering his purpose of calling, Matthew straightened up and yelled, "Gilbert!"

"Wha?"

"You forgot my birthday!"

"Wha?"

"It was yesterday you jerk..."

"Wha?"

"Don't 'wha' me!"

"Wha?"

Was there anything being gained from this? It didn't seem like it. "Gilbert, I'm so disappointed. I thought...I thought we were friends...and you totally just left me all alone," in the midst of his statement, Matthew began to fake cry.

"Wha? Wasn't your birthday in July? Or isn't it in July? Or was it? Don't fake cry on me you!"

"April Fool's! Yep, my birthday's in July-thanks for remembering..." a knock on the door caused Matthew to lower his voice, "uh...hold on a sec." He swung open the door, seeing Alfred only enough to step towards him before he received a passionate kiss from the neighboring man. In his attempt to remove the offending lips from his own, Matthew pushed at Alfred, who only took the action as an okay to shove his dear brother onto the couch he had been sitting on before.

"Alfr-"

"Oh gosh Matt!"

"Get off!"

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this," Alfred chuckled, unbuttoning Matthew's jeans swiftly. Silence came over the Canadian, who was calculating how the situation began. Oh yes, it was the call wasn't it?

"Whoa! What's going on over there?" Gilbert shouted from the phone, which caused Matthew to realize that he was still being undressed.

"W-Wait Al! It was an April Fool's-"

"But I can't wait anymore Matt," Alfred wrestled his brother's pants away from him despite the struggle, "and we don't have to roleplay that you're resisting! Please? I'm okay with just...damn I just want you!"

So that night didn't go so well. Gilbert even ended up coming over and recording it all in between his drunken rampage. Since then, the video ended up in the hands of Francis, who probably watches it every April Fool's day with Arthur. Matthew still goes around with his fail on April first, however, he stopped pulling pranks on Alfred ever since the incident.