An Alternate Phantom Menace Ending

Jinn: "Train the boy."

And it went downhill from there.

Kenobi: "Yes, Master"

Jinn: "Oh and while you're at it, pick up my dry-cleaning."

Kenobi: "Yes, Master."

Jinn: "And don't forget to feed the razor-backed sarlaac. It needs fresh meat.."

Kenobi: "Perhaps the little snot... errr chosen one will do that. After all, he's from Tatooine."

Jinn: "I heard that. I'm dying, Obi-Wan, not deaf."

Kenobi: "Yes, Master. Sorry, Master. Anything else?"

Jinn: "And we are out of blue milk. Pick up a gallon."

Kenobi: "Yes, Master. 2% or skim, Master? You've been putting on a little weight lately."

Jinn: "Skim. I'm not the one with the paunch, Obi-Wan. And I'm all out of hair gel, you know the one that makes all the ladies swoon."

Kenobi: "But Master, you're dying. You won't need swooning ladies after today."

Jinn: "True, Obi-Wan, but even though I'll be dead in this reality, there's always AU."

Kenobi: "Oh, I think I prefer AU. At least there I won't have to teach the little snot... errr chosen one?"

Jinn: "I'm sure you'll do an excellent job. Well, until he turns to the dark side and runs around killing all the Jedi. But that's another story."

Kenobi: "I have a better idea. How about you don't die and you get to train him?"

Jinn: "Dying is preferable."

Kenobi: "How about you heal and we both disappear? I know of a little pleasure planet that has a bevy of beautiful women just waiting for a few Jedi to come along?"

Jinn: "And we leave the little snot... chosen one with Yoda! Great plan. Let's get started."