*For Her*

Summary: I felt the numbness creep over me; the pain was able to be bore now. My black eyes were fixed on the green that had haunted me since that last day I could call her my friend. Now, I felt at last, peace. She was gone, but ever since that disgraceful day, I lived to do everything in her memory. The love she had for me and the love I felt helped shape the man named Severus Snape. It was the end for me, but my love for her was eternal, and now my only hopes were maybe I would see her again up there, if I deserved it, and she would forgive me for all that I had done. Maybe she would understand that everything I did in life was to honor her memory because I loved her, always.

NOTE: Sorry for the really crappy summary. I didn't know what to write for it without it sounding like complete rubbish, so yeah, just read this and it will explain things better. So this is my first Harry Potter fanfic, usually I do Twilight, but I always wanted to do HP but I always felt it was hard to do. But, this is me making an attempt. As most of you, I love the whole Lily/Snape relationship, but as much as I love it and balled through it, I don't wish they were married or ended up together, because then we wouldnt have Harry. My story is following very closely with the books and will detail Lily/Snape relationship through Snape's eyes. I am going to make it go more into depth with everything Snape felt for Lily starting with when they were younger to becoming a Death Eater to turning over to the good side and helping Dumbledore up until his very end. I always wanted JKR to go more into depth about their relationship and show everything that happened in between, and here is my fanfic doing it! So yeah, as the title suggests, it's going to emphasize how throughout everything, Snape never stopped loving Lily and how he strived to do everything in life for her.

~Preface~

The whole castle was quiet; only the echoes of the door slamming shut just a few seconds ago sounded through me. I stood facing the giant picture of the fat lady, staring at the door which she had just walked through, the portal that marked her leaving my life forever.

She's gone, I thought to myself. She had become too fed up with me, crossing the line one too many times. I suppose I had used up all of my chances. I lost my best friend for good.

I continued staring at the closed door, feeling a lump come to my throat. I wondered if she felt the same thing; maybe she was standing on the other side of the door, just staring, feeling the urge of tears come.

Who am I kidding? I thought. I had really done it this time. It was all my fault. I had said the unforgiveable word- Mudblood. If it wasn't for my humiliation thanks to Potter and Black, I would never have dared to say that!

But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different? Her last words echoed through my head. She was right. I was becoming just like my whole house. I was becoming the selfish, lying, hypocrite they all were. I didn't deserve a friend as kind and gentle as her. I knew better than to try and make it up to her. She was already set in her beliefs about me. I had pushed the limit. We had drifted apart for too long, and now, it was over.

I couldn't choke them back any longer; my tears began to fall. Realization finally hit me and I knew that Lily was no longer crying those same tears for me. I finally turned away from the door, using all of the strength I could muster.

I shuffled down the stairs from Gryffindor tower, my steps becoming heavier with each one. My tears started to become relentless sobs and I lost all of my focus, causing me to trip and fall on the last stair from the tower. I rolled over on my hands and knees and sat up against the marble staircase. I let the pain wash through me. I wanted to face it sooner rather than later.

I started gasping for air, trying to regain all focus before someone came and spotted me. A sear of pain wretched its' way through my heart, and I clutched my hand over my chest. After all of my years, the one person I loved most was gone and took a piece of my heart with her. After all my years of thinking she was the one person I would be with forever, in an instant, she was gone. My worst fear had come true; Lily Evans was gone from my life forever.

Over the course of my life, I had become just what she had warned me of. I became one of the most vile and dangerous creatures she was repulsed by. I became a Death Eater and supported the Dark Lord. All along, I knew how disgusting and horrible the Dark Lord and our group supporting him were, but in the beginning, I hardly turned away from them. It was where I fit in and where I was accepted. After all, what in my life did I have to lose? Without Lily's love, nothing else seemed to matter to me.

I still loved Lily to the very end of my life. Every morning I would wake up and feel the longing for her in my heart. I missed the girl with flaming red hair whose smile would light up even my darkest hours. Since the day I met her at only 9 years old, the compassion she always gave me and the love I always felt for her, helped shape me. I never stopped loving her and that love made me realize the evil of my ways and become what I am. She was the object of my heart in which I would die for, but in actuality, became what I lived for because up until the very end, everything I did in life was for her.

Thanks for reading! Review Please! :)