Yup, time for another one-shot! But-Le Gasp! - There's a self-insertion!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and anything related to it does not belong to me. SO SCRAM, YA LAWYER-TYPE PEOPLE! I belong to me, and Goose-chan belongs to herself. Possum's soul belongs to evil.

XxXx

"Hero's in a half shell! Turtle power!" I sang, smiling like a maniac. Parents out of the house, brothers… also out of the house. Now to do what I've been looking forward to all summer: Doing absolutely nothing.

I leaned back in my chair and began blasting my music on my iPod.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"THE HECK!" I cried as my chair toppled over. I glared at the ceiling. Curse you ceiling! And the odd noises that you make!

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

I crept up the staircase. Where was that noise coming from? I entered my room. The thumping continued from inside my closet.

"Okay, Thumping-Noise-San!" I said seriously. I used the word san, cuz I wasn't sure what gender it was, "I know what's gonna happen! I'm going to open that door, and some huge freaky alien is gonna pop out and eat me! But I'm wise to your ways! I WATCH TELEVISION!"

So I knocked first. Ya'know, to get a polite answer.

Tap.

THUMP!

I grinned to myself.

Tap tap ta-tap-tap.

THU-THUMP!

The door flew open and Remus Lupin, as a teenager, in all his immortal novel-character glory, flew out!

My mouth hung open like it was unhinged. He stared at me with wide eyes.

Awwww-kward.

Surprise became anger.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?" I had never had a dude going through my private stuff without me knowing, and I wasn't going to start having now.

"I was just- you know, in the neighborhood and-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULL!" I crowed, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"

"I JUST WANTED TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS! PUT DOWN THAT PAN!" He commanded,

"Oh, okay." I said, anger dissipating as I dropped my pan. Yes, I do have a magic frying pan that flies into my hand whenever I call forth its power. Why do you ask?

"Where'd you come from?" I asked, peering into my closet. If there's a hidden doorway in my closet why was I not informed? I like hidden doorways.

"Portkey." He answered, holding up a busted up pen.

"Since when were you skilled enough to do that?" I asked,

He actually looked kinda hurt. Total Kodak moment. "I asked Dumbledore to do it."

"Ah."

"Anyway, was this a script for 'Bones' I found in your closet? Cuz it looks like you have your stuffed animals in the middle of an act-"

"Gimme that!" I grabbed the stack of paper away from him and stuffed it back in its proper location. I sauntered to the blue velvet armchair in my room and sat, my arms folded, leaving Remus to sit uncomfortably on my bed, which creaked and squeaked as he shifted on it.

"So what did you want to ask me anyway?"

"Well, I was reading through some of the one-shots you've been writing-"

"You actually read them?" I asked excitedly, "Whadja think?"

"Focus, woman! I noticed that Peter Pettigrew is always missing."

I scowled, "Maybe because in the future, he gets James and Lily killed, sends Sirius to Askaban, kills Cedric, then dies cuz his own hand strangled him. Call me predjudiced but he's not exactly my favorite character."

"I see."

Another THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"What now?" I sighed,

Sirius Black himself came out of my closet.

"Yo." He said grinning.

"…"

"Whatssup?" He asked innocently,

"Padfoot, what are you doing here?" Remus asked,

"I followed you." He said simply.

"Why?"

"I was bored."

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"IIIIIIII'll get iiiiiiiiit!" I sang. Chaos makes me happy, "Well if it isn't Mr Prongs. What a surprise at this point!"

"Hey Author, whats up with that 'Bones' script in your closet-"

"LEAVE IT!" I commanded, "Why are you here anyway?"

"I was bored."

Sirius and Remus had begun fighting. Remus stole my spot on the chair and Siri didn't want to sit on the bed.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"…Goose-chan?"

"Sup?" She asked waving.

"…"

"…"

"Somehow I imagined you'd be shorter." I said thoughtfully, "Why are you here?"

"The feuding of fictional characters draw me near!" she answered happily,

"That makes SO much sense." I said, sarcasm gods, rejoice, for you have been called upon. "Please get out of my closet." Goose-chan pleasantly made her way to the still arguing Harry Potter characters. James had started another fight.

"At least Ididn't get stuck in prision for twelve years!"

"Nice, Mister 'I-died-before-the-series-had-even-started'!"

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"This is starting to get ridiculous." I muttered. My room is pretty small, and it was beginning to get difficult to move around.

"Devin?"

"Hey."

"What do you want?"

"You weren't answering my texts."

"….dude?"

"YOU MUST ALWAYS ANSWER THE TEXTS!"

I moaned and glanced at my watch.

"CRAP! My parents are coming home! You guys gotta get outta here!"

At once a stampede of mad people rushed past me.

"Hey!" Sirius called before he was a bout to shut the door, "Try to keep writing, Author!"

"Author?" I laughed, "Is that gonna be my offical Marauders nickname when I join?"

"We'll put you in for pending!" He called, laughing along with me as he shut the door. One minute. The noise of several teenagers cramped in a closet stopped. I heard the front door open, my parents calling to me. I giggled secretly as I raced down to meet them. I stopped in the doorway and turned around. I opened the door to my closet, as I had been doing for what seemed like all day. On the floor was a folded piece of coffee-colored paper. I unfolded the paper and smiled.

In black, scrawley ink it said:

Dear Author,

The Marauders are pleased to announce your offical membership as a part of out elite group. Congradulations! : )

Sincerely,

Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, Goose, and Possum