A/n: Just a short one-shot that I had on my mind! Enjoy!(:
Rachel Berry's list of reasons to say no.
(In no particular order)
He's a slob who never shows up on time for anything, no matter how many times you remind him of the exact time to arrive at the specific destination.
"Noah? Where on earth are you?"
He grunted into the phone, "Home?"
Rachel huffed, aggravation making it's way through her entire body. "You listen to me, Puckerman. You are such an insufferable, ignorant fool! You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago."
"Where?" He asked confusion lacing his words.
"Stravino's, the Italian restaurant on 3rd street. For our date."
He let out a breath of recognition, "Shit Fuck, that was supposed to be today."
"I reminded you at school today, three times!" She snapped, gritting her teeth.
"I'm sorry baby, I'll be there as soon as I fucking can."
He never listens to your clearly superior arguments, ideas, or suggestions.
"Oh, Noah! Guess what we should do?"
He let out an audible groan as he skeptically said, "What?"
"A duet in front of glee," She bounced up and down in her seat practically vibrating with excitement. "Oh, how about 'My Heart Will Go On!' That would be completely-"
"We are not singing some cheesy as shit Celine Dion song in front of glee. Titanic sucked balls."
"Noah! You actually knew it was a Celine song AND that it was from Titanic!" She said looking at him approvingly.
Noah sighed and said, "Only because you made me watch Titanic with you like five fucking times that one day, goddamn I'm whipped. Not whipped enough to sing that song though."
Rachel sighed dejectedly, "Fine."
"Ugh," Noah exclaimed taking in his girlfriend of 6 months' face. She looked so...disappointed. "I'll make an agreement with you. We can sing a duet, as long as it's a song I can help choose."
She smiled widely at him, closing the space between them in a soft, tender kiss. "You're the best."
He's uses excessive profanity even in situations where it is wholly inappropriate. (In front of kids, around parents or elders...etcetera)
"What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?"
"Well, I don't know. I mean well of course they're good intentions, I guess." He stammered awkwardly, trying to figure out the best thing to say, "...well fuck, she means a lot to me!"
"Noah!" Rachel exclaimed outraged, "Don't curse in front of my parents. That's extremely rude and I want them to approve of you!"
"Shit, sorry." Noah looked sheepishly around the table at the Berry family, "I mean...shoot, sorry."
He calls you crazy. Repeatedly.
"Noah! What is you're problem today? You just starting having a juvenile fit for no excusable reason!"
He growled angrily, "You're crazy!"
"Don't call me that Noah, please. You just basically pulled me out of Glee yelling and ranting about the dance routine!"
"I really don't want you dancing with Finn for that song! His hands were like everywhere." He grounded out angrily, grabbing her hand roughly.
She pulled her hand away, glaring at him sharply "Jesus Noah, why are you acting like this?"
"Because I fucking love you okay?" He said annoyed, "And all you're fucking crazy."
"I'm offended that you would call me that, really." She huffed, "And stop cursing!"
He started laughing softly, "I tell you that I love you and all you hear is 'fucking' and 'crazy.' You really are certifiably insane."
"Stop questioning my sanity, Noah." She said softly, talking his hands in hers. She looked up into his smoldering eyes and smiled. "You really love me?"
"No shit." He said rolling his eyes, a smirk placed on his face. But then his demeaner changed, his smirk turned into a smile as he said, "I really do love you."
His genuine smile widened brightly as she whispered:
"I love you too, Noah."
He will never, for lack of better wording, shut up about us being good-looking Jews. (Very offending)
"Why did you ask me out Noah? I'm really just curious."
He smirked at her and kissed her temple, "Because Babe. We are couple of good-looking Jews."
She huffed, hoping to get a genuine answer from him. "That's the only reason?"
"Well, no." He told her. "But it did play a big part, I mean look at us! We ARE good-looking Jews!"
He won't stop referring to himself as a 'sex shark.'
"Quit complaining, Noah!" She sighed as she scolded him about doing his homework, "Can it really be that hard?"
"That's what she said."
Rachel sighed again as Noah barked out a laugh, "I should've seen that one coming."
"That's also what she said."
"Must you always be so lewd?" Rachel asked him tentatively.
"Rachel, I'm a sex shark." He winked at her suggetively, "If I don't move... I die."
Rachel scrunched up her face in disgust and hit him playfully on the arm. "You're revolting, Noah."
"Hey, Rach It's only the truth." Noah watched as her face turned serious, almost regretful, "You okay, babe?"
"I was just thinking." She said softly, looking up into Noah's eyes. "Are you mad at me because we didn't have sex yet? I don't want you to get sick of me Noah."
"Oh Rach, don't worry about it. I swear to you it's okay, I'll wait as long as it takes. Really, I will. I refuse to have you give it away to me when you're not ready," He kissed her softly and whispered into her ear, "Just let me know when you're ready."
She grin widely back at him, "I don't think it'll be too long."
He cheated on me once.
"Baby, please look at me." He pleaded with her.
He watched her put her arms around herself, turning completely around to face the wall, her shoulders shaking slightly with tears. He put a hand on her upper arm softly. She snapped away so quickly and gritted out three teary words, "Don't touch me."
"I'm so sorry, Rachel." He said brokenly, "God, I love you. So fucking much. It was absolutely nothing, it meant absolutely nothing. Just don't leave me, please. I want to fucking kill myself right now, Rachel."
She let out a sob, cursing herself for her weakness. "Why?"
"I don't know. I was drunk and she just kissed me, and I just don't even know."
"Do you want her?" Rachel asked tears leaking down her cheeks.
He walked closer to her, taking her cheeks in his hands softly, "No. Not even one fucking bit. It's all you, only you. For-fucking-ever. I promise you."
"I don't want you to see her ever again, please just promise me you won't." She begged him softly.
"I won't, I promise." He kissed her passionately, "I love you."
"I love you too."
8. He gets easily possessive and jealous. Also has a huge temper and see's violence as a viable solution to problems.
"Oh, Noah! Isn't this beach beautiful?"
He smiled at her excited smile, "No you're beautiful. I can't stop staring at you're amazing as fuck body in that bikini babe."
"Oh, Noah." She blushed as his lewd comment, not able to help that she enjoyed it. She looked down at her dark blue bikini and told him that she was going to go into the ocean for a while.
"I'll just stay here babe, I'm not in the mood yet. Ill just watch you," He said with a wink.
She sighed and ran to the water, going until it hit her mid stomach. Puck laid on the beach watching his beautiful girlfriend swim gracefully. When she emerged from the water, his mouth hung open, unable to tear his gaze away from her body, glistening with beads of salt-water. She smiled to herself softly and brushed her hair out of her face.
"Damn, look at that hot piece of ass," Puck turned to view where he could see three men talking and looking in the direction of Rachel, "I could just eat that chick up."
Puck frowned, his fist clenched tightly. His entire body went rigged as the group of boys approached Rachel. He quickly got up from his beach towel and scurried towards the group of me who surrounded her.
"What's going on here?" Puck said loudly, putting one of his arms lazily around Rachel's shoulders.
Rachel smiled up at him and said, "Oh Todd here, was just telling me about this cool party tonight."
Puck frowned at his girlfriend's obliviousness, "My girlfriend, is not interested."
"Oh, Noah. Stop being so jealous! He was just being friendly."
"A little too friendly if you ask me," Puck gritted out.
He was ready to tackle the jackass but Rachel laid a hand on his arm. "Calm down, Noah. Let's just go back to our stuff and relax."
"Fine."
9. He impregnated his best friend's girlfriend at the tender age of sixteen. Note: Who knows how this will affect our attempts of having children. He's already been through the entire thing.
"Noah, do you think that you will ever want to have kids again?"
He sighed as if he was expecting this question at any minute, "Well I'd have to say that I'm a little scarred from last time."
"But what if we got married one day, would you ever want to have kids with me?" She asked hesitantly .
"I don't know."
She frowned slightly, "You don't know?"
"No Rachel, I don't."
"Oh," She looked at his sullen expression and said, "Well I hope you know you could always trust me, you know? Like say we were going to have a kid one day, I would never give it away or net let you see it."
"I know, Rachel." He smiled at her softly, "I do trust you."
Rachel Berry's list of reasons to say yes.
He loves me. And I love him.
….and thats enough.
"Rachel, you know that I'm not good with words but I'm going to try my hardest right now. I never thought that I'd find someone like you...you may not be perfect, but you are perfect for me. That was a compliment, I swear. But every single moment in our relationship has been so important to me, and I wouldn't take it back for a million dollars. I love you and right now I'm asking you to marry me. So, will you please marry me?"
Rachel looked down at the man basically begging her to marry him at her feet, a ring sitting in his shaky hand. She watched as he scratched the back of his neck nervously, his eyes worried as panic swept through his body. His speech was far from the fairytale proposal, but he tried and to her that counts for something. She let out a wide smile at the man in front of her, "Noah Puckerman, I'd be honored to become your wife."
"Fuck yes!" He said jumped up, wrapping his arms around her, and squeezing her tight. He pushed the ring onto her finger slowly and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster.
Rachel looked up at him, a huge smile stretching across her face,"You know Noah, I'm really surprised you didn't curse during that entire speech."
"What can I say babe? I'm a stud."