You Saved My Life

Chapter 16

BPOV

"ERIC NO!" I dove towards him, hitting the gun out of his hands with all the strength I had. We hit the ground, and I watched the police break through the door and make a beeline straight for Eric. For a second, I felt just a bit victorious; then I saw Carlisle's face as he came rushing in with his medical bag. He ran over to me and rolled me onto my back, all the while shouting frantically. I couldn't understand him- it's like he was speaking in a different language. I tried to speak, to tell him I was fine, but nothing came out.

What the hell is going on?

Behind him I could see a stretcher being wheeled in my two EMTs. I looked around the room to see who was hurt. My eyes swept the room, seeing nothing except the Cullen kids; all the other students had evacuated the cafeteria.

They were laughing.

Rosalie raised her hand and pointed at my stomach, before turning towards Emmett and saying something. All I could hear was her laughter; it was like she was lip syncing. I looked to her siblings, hoping some of them would say something, tell her to shut up. They were all just staring at my stomach. I looked down to see what sent Rosalie into a fit of giggles.

I was bleeding. It was soaking through my shirt, pooling on the floor beneath me. My chest tightened in fear, and my stomach flipped at the site and smell of blood. My blood. I looked to Carlisle, wanting to panic, scream, but I still couldn't speak. Nothing came out of my mouth.

I tried to yell, to scream, but all I could hear was laughter. Carlisle held something to my stomach as the paramedics lifted me onto the stretcher. The laughter was getting louder. I turned my head back to see that it wasn't just Rosalie; every one of them had joined in and were practically in tears. They kept talking back and forth in silent sentences. Their laughter louder, still.

What were they saying?

They were making fun of me! They had to be. They were happy that I got shot- they thought it was funny. They were making jokes of it, jokes about my life. They didn't care that I just saved them from getting shot, maybe even killed. They just thought it was funny that Swan got shot trying to be brave.

The laughter got louder and louder, I couldn't hear myself think. My vision start to blacken, until there was nothing but laughter, laughter, and it consumed me.

I awoke suddenly. The room was dimly lit from window that encompassed the entire east wall. Trying to settle my heartbeat and calm my nerves, I gazed amongst the dark mass of trees gently swaying in the wind. A shudder ripped through my body as the vivid images of my most recent nightmare flashed in my mind.

It was just a dream.

My body felt like it was filled with sand, weighing me down into the bed and too heavy for my tired muscles to move and lift myself out of bed. A sharp pain rang through my skull with every heart beat, and it felt like my temperature was rising. Despite the habitual cold of Forks, I was sweating. Moving sluggishly out of bed was still not slow enough, and the room darkened as the blood rushed to my head and stars appeared in my vision. Trying not to fall and injure myself further, I calmly lowered myself back to the bed in a seated position. Once the world had returned to normal and I could stand without a problem, I toddled to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After sufficiently scrubbing the off the sweat that layered my entire body in a heavenly cold shower, along with the filth from yesterday's adventure, I threw my hair up in a bun and dressed. Although my mind was wide awake still reeling from my nightmare, it was as if my body was still dead asleep. This was the feeling I got after I had been given sedatives; it was unsettling and made me feel unlike myself. It was as if I had lost control over my body and had to put out extra effort just to move.

The cold shower did more than just cool me off; fifteen minutes ago I felt as if I was melting inside, now it was as if my room was a walk in freezer. Dwelling in my room the entire day would just make everyone suspicious and would most likely in result in questioning about it. Today was going to be one of those days where I just did not want to deal with people, so I elected to just start my day.

Dragging my feet to the stairs, I stumbled my way down and into the kitchen. Someone was awake and decided to be a good human today, because the coffee pot had already been turned on; I wouldn't have to wait long to put a warm mug in my hands and warm up. It wasn't until I had a coffee mug in one hand and was pulling out the pot with the other that I realized there wasn't in fact any coffee.

The false promise of coffee is worse than no coffee at all.

My sigh caught the attention of someone in the living room.

"I didn't think anyone would be up for an hour so I set a timer for it to start at 7:30." Jasper explained. Of course… "Sorry."

Momentarily I soaked in the despair, and was prepared to go out and get coffee from the diner when I remembered they had one of those fancy one cup brewers. It only took about two minutes for the machine to heat up and dispense the hot, caffeinated beverage, and as soon as it stopped dripping I trekked over to the couch. Any fever I had this morning was gone, and I was nearly shivering. Pulling the quilt off the back of couch, I thoroughly swaddled myself in it, desperately trying to warm myself up.

I noticed the flaw in my ways when I tried to drink my coffee; wrapping the blanket around my head proved it difficult to move. A chuckled escaped Jasper's lips.

He was laughing at me.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, nothing. You just look a little silly trying to drink your coffee when you can barely move under that blanket."

Relax, Swan. It was just a dream.

I went back to my coffee.

"You look...tired." He said warily.

"That's just a polite way for someone to say you look like shit."

"That's not what I meant." Really? "Ok, you look like hell. Bad night?"

I debated whether or not I should open up to him. If he was trying to move forward and treat me like any other person, let alone someone who lived with him, then I would try too.

"Nightmares."

"Damn. You don't need to explain anything to me; I'm there with you." He got this look in his eyes- the same look I saw this morning in my reflection.

"You've been having nightmares too?" Regardless of all that Jasper has said to me, done to me in the past, I wouldn't wish endless hours of sleep lost to nightmares on him.

"Yeah. It's just different endings to what happened Monday. Mostly it's Alice who dies, sometimes it's me." His voice caught a bit; he paused to clear it and regain his composure. "Sometimes it's you."

His face clouded with pain, regret… and there was something I couldn't decipher. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking right at that moment, but he was holding back. Was it because he wasn't being genuine? Was he playing at some sort of angle?

You'll never know until you ask, Bella…

"And that bothers you?"

"What do you mean 'and that bothers you?'" He snapped. His tone and his face were that of someone who had just been slapped in the face.

"I mean, when it's me. That dies. That bothers you?"

A dry chuckle escaped his throat. "Are you kidding me? Of course that bothers me, Bella. Regardless of whatever you think my opinion is of you, how I feel towards you, I don't want to see you die. Even if I know it's just a dream, that's not something I ever want to see. Ever. Do you really think that poorly of me?"

Was there reason not to?

I kept that to myself. No need to go poking fires.

Lowering his gaze to the ground for a few seconds, he shook his head again and stood. Without another word he walked towards the back door and vacated the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

What was I supposed to think? Countless times, again and again, they told – he told me – that I was nothing but a mistake, that I was unwanted, that it would be better if I wasn't around. That looking at me was a bother, was a pain, ruined everyone's day. They despised me, everything about me. Just because they realized they were wrong for doing so doesn't mean their opinions of me had changed. If someone hated kids and yelled at a small child, they might see the error in their ways. They might apologize to the child and watch their mouth the next time they felt the need to scream at one, but that doesn't mean that they all of the sudden like children.

The situation in regards to the Cullens and me was no different. They apologized, say they're done with bullying, but I'm not naïve. They still see me as the pain in the neck Swan they have to deal with on a daily basis, except now they can't go home to get rid of me. Why was I expected to believe that it would actually sadden Jasper if I, of all the people in the cafeteria that day, was the one that died? I expect that to be a relief- a relief that he and Alice were safe, his brothers and sister were safe.

I was sweating again. The room was stuffy, and suddenly it felt that I was being suffocated by the blanket around me. My chest was warm, and my lungs didn't feel like they were filling with air as easily as they should be. I needed fresh air, real air; I needed to breathe. Quickly but neatly, I placed the blanket back where I found it, set my half-finished coffee on the kitchen counter, and walked towards the front door. Going out the back would require me to walk past Jasper, and I didn't want to finish our conversation. I just needed to think.

The second I stepped onto the front porch, the cool air hit my skin and filled my lungs. The air felt clean and filled my lungs with ease, but it wasn't enough. I felt like I was still burning up inside, like the house was a giant trap and I was just a mouse.

I needed to get out. Just run, go.

I ran, straight towards the tree line. Past the first line of trees, the second line. Looking back over my shoulder, I started back at the house. I wasn't far enough. Deeper and deeper I burrowed into the woods, the thick forest providing shade and cooling off my skin. My legs propelled me forward, and I could faintly feel the leaves of the surrounding trees reaching out to brush my arms and legs. My body was confused, both hot and cold, weak yet strong. I felt exhilarated at the same time I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I pushed further and further until I felt like my lungs were going to explode, and I collapsed onto a nearby tree trunk.

I needed a way out. That house felt like a prison, a trap. The stress of living there, always feeling like I was an outsider, like I was a bother, it wasn't going to do anything but build up stress and frustration and worry until I felt like I was going to be crushed under the weight of all of it and sprinted into the forest again. What I needed was my car, my things. I needed the blanket my mother gave me before she moved to Phoenix, I needed the picture of my father and me celebrating his 40th birthday at the diner. I needed my laptop so I could hide in my room and watch Netflix, my books so I could curl up in the window and read. I needed my escape.

First I heard the raindrops hitting the leaves above me, then I felt them.

Shit.

Sucking in as much air as I could take, I let it all out and rose. Following the trail of broken twigs and trampled leaves, I did my best to find my way back towards the house. Minutes could have passed, hours could have passed, I lost track of time as I lost track of my surroundings. After it felt as if I was never going to break through the forest, I tripped over an upright tree root and ended up sprawled onto the ground. The motivation to get up from the wet ground came after several seconds of defeat; with a grunt I pushed myself back up and wandered a few more minutes until I broke through the tree line. I raised my hand to brush my hair out of my face, only to pause when I smelled the blood. My palms were cut up and bleeding, and once I examined myself further I noticed my knees were as well. It wasn't bad enough to spill onto Esme's carpet.

Using my shirt as a barrier between my bloody palms and the doorknob, I carefully entered house without making a mess. I made a beeline straight for the kitchen sink and rinsed my hands until water ran clear. Again there was a swing in temperature, and my body was shivering again.

"Speak of the devil, and she shall appear." Rosalie muttered behind me.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Without fail, she always had something to say. It didn't matter, because I didn't have to deal with her. I just needed to deal with Carlisle.

"Carlisle-"

Alice cut me off. "What did you do to your pants? They're ruined! Is that blood?" the squeak in her voice was evident, and quite frankly a tad bit annoying.

"It's fine. Carlisle, can I borrow your first aid kit?"

Moving his laptop away from his lap, he examined me up and down. "Are you alright? It's still in the dining room, you sit down, I'll go grab it. What happened?"

"I'm fine. I tripped in the woods and scraped my knees and my palms. Seriously, I just need a bandaid and some Neosporin."

"What were you doing in the woods? It's raining; I don't think you want to catch pneumonia and have a cough for the next few days." This is what I get for living with a doctor…

"I just needed some fresh air… needed to get out of this house. I'm fine."

Having no desire to answer more questions, I cleaned up as fast as I could and returned to my bedroom.

Before I made it to the confines of my room, I heard someone bounding up the stairs behind me. A sigh escaped me as I turned to see Edward had caught up with me.

"Hey" he said lamely.

"Edward, I-"

"I know you're all wet and probably need to change, but I just wanted to talk for a second."

"Edward, I'm really not in the mood right now… Maybe later, I need to-"

"It'll just take a minute." He interrupted, again.

"Look, Edward, I said later. Please, just give me-"

"You said Sunday. It's Sunday. I don't understand." The tone is his voice reminded me of the one I heard at school every day. He was aggravated, becoming angry, impatient.

Now I was angry and impatient.

"That's your problem, Edward. You don't understand. This isn't about you; it's about me. You are apologizing to me, for you being an asshole. To me. What does that mean?" I didn't allow him to answer as his jaw tightened and nose flared with rage. "It means that if I'm not ready, or not in the mood, or I just don't feel like listening to you right now, then I'm not going to. And if you're serious about apologizing and moving on, then you're going to have to accept that.'

I didn't wait for the spiteful remark I could practically see him building in his head; I returned to my room and locked the door. A faint grunt could be heard from the hallway as I assume he retreated to his own room; my musings were proved right when I heard his door slam down the hall.

I regretted the clothing choices I made this morning as I struggled to undress; the rain had practically glued the tight jeans to my legs, and I was low on patience by the time I got them off. Again I was reminded of the need to go home and gather my belongings when I was forced to re-wear the only warm sweater I had with me. Thanks to my recent visit to Port Angeles I had a decent amount of jeans and shirts I could change into, but I forgot to buy a decently warm hoody. The warm blankets on my unkempt bed called to me, and I crawled under them seeking their beautiful warmth.

A gentle, swift knock on my door pulled me from my nap.

"Bella? Um… Esme made dinner, and ugh- well, she didn't want you to miss out. I didn't see you eat breakfast, and you missed lunch, so I figured you'd be hungry." I could tell from his slightly accented rambling that it was Jasper. A low rumble sounded from my stomach, and I realized it was past noon and I had indeed not eaten today.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stepped over the blankets and sweater that were now on the floor. I was sweating, and had clearly thrown off the blankets in my sleep. Twisting the nob, I stuck my head out to greet Jasper.

"I'll be down in a minute; thank you for waking me." My voice was thick with sleep. He nodded stiffly and turned around. "Jasper wait-" He slowly turned back around, his eyes wandering and avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to upset you or try to make you feel bad. You've apologized, and I can see you're working to make amends. I should, too."

He let out a half-hearted chuckle. "You really have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't expect it to be all sunshine and roses from here on out now that I said 'I'm sorry.' It's gonna take time. I'll be patient with you like you're being with me." His half smile widened to a full one. "We all have tough days; I'll see you down there." With that he turned down the hall.

Before joining the party downstairs, I padded over to the bathroom. I needed to accomplish two things- tame my hair, and give myself a pep talk.

Detangling my messy tresses didn't take long, and all that was left was the pep talk. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Without real reason, the face looking back at me was scowling; her brows were pulled down, her mouth in a deep frown, her jaw tight.

Alright Swan, you're going to wipe that miserable look off your face. There's no reason for it to be there, and if you go downstairs like that, it's going to do nothing but dampen the mood and call for questioning. You don't want to get a pep talk from Alice or Esme, do you? I didn't think so. So cheer up, damnit. Life could be so, so much worse.

Chin up, shoulders back, I strode out of the bathroom and down stairs. The rest of the inhabitants of the house were seated at the dining room table when I entered. Esme had made a delicious smelling casserole, and my stomach loudly rumbled. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks as a few small chuckles sounded. Small talk filled the room as we enjoyed our meal. Esme and Carlisle spoke of tomorrow's work day, while Emmett bragged about beating Jasper in chess. This being the first meal of the day for me, I dove in with enthusiasm; that enthusiasm died off after the first few bites. The food was delicious - Esme was a fabulous cook- but my stomach quickly lost its appetite. The room's discussion quieted once Carlisle spoke up.

"You look very flushed, are you alright? I noticed it when you first walked in, but I thought it might just be that blush of yours."

"Actually, I'm really, really hot. I have been all day, on and off. One minute I'm sweating, and I'm freezing the next." He reached over and placed the back of his head on my forehead. Feeling a little awkward with seven pairs of eyes on me, I continued talking. "That's why I went outside earlier, the house was just too warm."

His brows furrowed, and his face was a mask of concern. "Well, you definitely have a fever." Pushing back his chair, he rose from the table and retrieved his medical bag from the living room.

"Carlisle, please, you don't have to interrupt your dinner..." I let my voice fall silent. There was no use in arguing with Carlisle; he could be as stubborn as me when he wanted to be. He pulled out a thermometer and held it up, looking mostly apologetic, and just a tad bit amused. I opened my mouth and stuck the thermometer under my tongue. "Does he always bring his work home?" I asked Esme, trying to shift some of the focus off of me.

"You should see him during flu season. Anyone has a sniffle, sneezes once, or is in the slightest bit pink, he pulls out the medicine and practically quarantines us to tour bedrooms." Alice chuckled, speaking behind her hand as she was telling a secret.

"You father is not that bad!" Esme tried to hold back the laughter, but she couldn't, and erupted into a fit of giggles. "Ok, maybe you're not too far off."

"Ow. You know, that hurts. I'm just trying to protect my loved ones, and in turn myself. I don't need you breathing all your germs in my air." His smile was short lived when he pulled the thermometer out and read it. "102. That's higher than I'd like. If it gets much higher than that, you'll have to go to the hospital. How have you been feeling today? Have you been more tired than usual?"

The rest of the room fell very quiet, and they all listened intently for my answer; well, nearly all of them. Despite her attempts to look indifferent, even Rosalie looked interested in the conversation that was taking place. Edward was the only one who seemed as if he really couldn't care less, looking sour and staring at his food.

"I've felt really sluggish all day, and just worn down in general. I thought it may be from all the activity yesterday, why?"

"You may have infection. How has your injury felt today, in comparison to other days? More or less painful?"

"It hurts a bit more than usual, but again, I thought that was just from being so active yesterday…"

I know nothing too severe could be happening, but the more dramatic side of me wondered, Am I dying?

"Come to the living room with me and I'll check how it's doing. You may have an infection."

Carlisle was always one that could sense when his patients were uncomfortable, and he usually worked to adjust the situation to help ease the situation. Following him to the living room, I lifted up my shirt to show him by side; the area around the stitches was an angry red.

Carlisle shook his head despairingly. "I'm gonna touch it, alright?" He felt around the sides, applying slight pressure; faint jolts of pain shot through my side. "It's very warm, and feels a bit swollen. It's definitely infected."

Shit. "That's my fault. I went out in the ocean yesterday, and when I came home I just went straight to bed without showering. I should've known better."

"Well in any case, I brought home some antibiotics on Friday should this happen. I'll grab them once I finish cleaning this up, and then we can finish dinner."

The universe had to make up for yesterday being so pleasurable by making this moment so miserable. I always thought the movie scenes where the injured person poured alcohol over their wounds and screamed were just an exaggeration. The intense stinging I felt as Carlisle pressed an alcohol soaked towel to my bruised ribs disproved my theory. I held back any embarrassing whimpers or screams, but a small groan of pain escaped, drawing the attention of the others in the neighboring room. Esme came walking in, concern masking her face.

"Are you alright, dear?" Her eyes wandered to my exposed stomach, letting out a small gasp when Carlisle moved his hands and allowed her a glimpse of the injury she had yet to see. "Oh, honey."

"I'm doing just fine, Esme." The strain in my voice did nothing to help convince her.

"I'll go grab the antibiotics and some stronger pain killers than what you have. You really should have a full stomach when you take these, so go finish up your dinner." He gave Esme a kiss on the cheek as he passed her and climbed the stairs up towards his office.

Adjusting my shirt, I slowly stood and was preparing to re-enter the dining room when Esme stopped me, pulling me in for a hug. "Oh, honey." She repeated. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't thank you enough for saving my babies."

The feeling that came to me when I encountered such a loving, motherly embrace was strong enough to give me a lump in my throat; regardless of that feeling, I just wanted this season to pass. No more 'thank you's, no more 'sorry's, no more 'let's be friends.' I just wanted to get back to being Bella Swan: Normal Teenager, not Bella Swan: Savior of the Cullen Clan. I reciprocated the hug, fully aware we were in sight of her entire family and not feeling the urge to say anything in return.

Despite the lack of desire to eat any more than I already had, I finished the rest of my plate before Carlisle returned, downing two glasses of water with the pills. I had just stood to clear my place from the table. When Esme gently placed a hand on my wrist.

"We were thinking of watching a movie before bed. Would you join us?"

Not wanting to make anyone feel awkward or seem like I didn't appreciate all that she and Carlisle had done for me, I agreed. Maybe I also was delaying going back to sleep; although my nap had been dream free, who knows if tonight's sleep would too.

Tonight was Rosalie's night to do the dishes; I felt no desire to offer my help. She and Emmett worked together, Emmett joking and trying to lighten her irritable mood.

"The kids are grounded from tv and electronic devices, but we thought we could all use a nice, relaxing night together. That means you get to pick, Bella. What would like to watch?"

Staring at the extensive movie collection in front of me, I was at a loss. The movies were arranged alphabetically, and there were at least 200. Not wanting to bore the guys with a chick flick, or bore the girls with a fighting movie, I settle on middle ground and picked the first movie I thought would please both: Captain America: The First Avenger. Everyone enjoy looking at Chris Evans- whether it was because it his cool stunts or his gorgeous face was irrelevant.

I got a few cheers as I showed off my pick, making it clear I was in favor of the majority. Once Rosalie and Emmett had finished the dishes and joined us, I heard a whispered 'fuck yeah' from Emmett as he saw the title screen. After hearing my chuckled response, he worriedly looked to Esme to see if he was in trouble; clearly she didn't notice, and his smile was back in place as he plopped down next to me, Rosalie on his other side.

I had never seen this movie - I usually preferred books over movies – but the first bit of the movie was awesome. Every once in a while one of the boys would whisper their favorite lines along with the actors. I only made it through the first few scenes before I dozed off, drowsy from the drugs.

"Bells, wake up." Someone was softly patting my shoulder. My mind was slowly becoming aware, my body not yet there. "She's not waking up; should I just carry her to her room?" It was Emmett speaking.

"No, you dope, you'll probably hurt her stomach." Alice chastised.

"I'm awake." I answered, imagining the pain that could be involved if Emmett threw me over his shoulder and ripped open my stitches. I groggily got up from my place on the couch to see that the rest of the family had retreated to their rooms for the night. 'Goodnights' were exchanged. With much effort, and quite a bit of time, I made it up the two flights of stairs and to my bedroom door. I half expected Edward to be waiting for me, ready to yell his way through an apology, but the universe was back on my side as I slipped into bed and felt the world disappear.

A/N: I told you I was back! Thank you for reading, and a HUGE thank you to all of you who reviewed. A finally thank you goes to my awesome beta for this chapter, CindyLee99!

This chapter was definitely lengthy, and nothing too eventful happened, but it needed to be written. I'm excited for the next chapter or two, as Bella will finally be encountering Rose and Edward. Again, thank you for your reviews and feedback, I appreciate them all along with any suggestions!

-Kiki