Rating: PG-13
Summary: As a senior in high school, Miranda and Gordo 'open their eyes'.
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.
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Eyes
Wide Open
***
Love.
One of the biggest clichés in the book, but also the most talked about subject in our adolescent lives, especially when you're best friends with two girls. Especially girls like Miranda Sanchez and Lizzie McGuire. Now don't get me wrong, they're the best. I've known them since forever (and there's another cliché, saying you've known someone forever, it seems everyone says that, it's just as common as 'I'm bored' or 'hey there', that sort of thing) and they really are the coolest people I know. It's like Three's Company. Well in a way, not that I'm even old enough to be living on my own, and even if I was to move in with Lizzie and Miranda, I would never be close to acting as the cheesy, overacting male roommate who everyone finds funny, but in reality is just as flat as a board. (Another cliché and also a verbal comparison and symbolization, like ... scared like a chicken ... which has always disturbed me, how do we know chickens are scared? Because there is some lame joke about a chicken being too scared to cross the road? Well do you know for a fact that this hereby chicken was scared? Or that curiosity really tried to kill the cat? Maybe it was the dog. Dogs tend to try to kill cats you know.) Moving on from my rant, love or this so-called romanticism of life always finds a way to sneakily put itself in a conversation, almost every conversation with me, Miranda and Lizzie. And boy if you have ever heard Lizzie McGuire talk, you would realize how she can go on and on and on about one *single* thing without getting bored or tired. Now again, don't get me wrong, I love Lizzie. Liz. Elizabeth. The list goes on, she's my best friend in this world. She knows me inside and out, she knows all of my little quirks, as I know hers. She was the first un-inanimate person I taped on my first discoverings of my dream to be a director (the first thing I ever taped would be Lizzie's stuffed pig, I gave the film 'the story of a stuffed pig' three stars, mind you), Lizzie McGuire is my Joey Potter and I'm her Dawson Leery, but of course without the romantic implications.
Oddly enough, I could never think of Lizzie as a specimen for romance. I love Lizzie yes, but no, not that sort of love. Knowing Lizzie, she would probably take offense to this even though she feels the same way, she would ask me what was wrong with her. Nothing is wrong with Lizzie, she's perfect in every way and any guy would be one lucky person to have her as their girlfriend, but I can't see Lizzie in that way. Maybe it was all her ongoings about Ethan Craft or the fact that I've known her since we were little babies in diapers, drooling and talking in a special language no one else knew, or even cared to understand. Maybe it's the fact that our families have been wishing on some non-existent star, probably the same star that cricket in "Pinnochio" sang about, for us to get together and fall in love. Our families, despite they never would ever tell us, have always hoped when the time came for romance, that nice little cupid would hit us with his wonderful arrows. (And you know what makes me smirk, right now? Well the gritty truth, based on every book on Gods of Ancient Greece, Cupid actually wasn't some nice little baby, flying around with his dainty little arrows, just hoping to help two lost souls find love. Cupid was actually a very sadistic little God from what I have read; he strikes people with his arrows, just so he could torment them, and this so-called love they would feel ... obsession. Isn't that just the cutest little story you have ever heard? Yeah, definitely food for thought.) And there have been real moments where me and Lizzie could actually cross that line, (that platonic line of friendship) and turn into more than just friends, and illogically we never really could force ourselves to do it, or at least I couldn't. Love ruins friendship, plain and simple. I.E.: Dawson's Creek.
Joey and Dawson. Let's look at them long and hard, shall we? They used to be the best of friends, they could share anything together, they were ultimately like me and Lizzie. And then somewhere along the road, their friendship got completely ruined, and now they can't even communicate like they used to. And what was the cause of this uproar and destruction of their friendship? Love. Yep, they were the best of friends, but then they fell into a relationship and everything was ruined. Hmm, shall we analyze another pair of characters in a television show? Okay, let's take Joey and Rachel off of "Friends" for example. Despite the fact that Rachel has no idea that Joey feels anything for her, let's think about the outcome of this little romance would go. This would ultimately put a weird awkwardness between Joey and Ross, who are the best of friends, and Ross whom obviously still loves Rachel, would be upset at this, and let's remember Rachel lives with Ross, and Ross is the father of Rachel's baby. Yeah, that wouldn't be complicated. And how do we know Rachel feels the same way? And if she does, how would their friendship be after the inevitable break-up? It took forever and a day for Ross and Rachel to ever be "just friends" and as evidence says, they still aren't. Or hmm, how about Buffy and Angel? Now there is a story of woe and heartache. Dylan and Brenda? Felicity and Noel? The list goes on. Romance eventually screws up every friendship or non-friendship we have, it's been proven my friends.
And yet, my two best friends find it the most interesting thing to talk about.
Oh do you know who Ethan likes now?
Oh no way, they don't even fit!
They kiss like they're siblings.
Eww, that's so gross, but you're right! Can they be any less compatible?
I don't think so.
That's a typical conversation. Miranda and Lizzie finds love interesting, they want to talk about it all the time, they want to gush about it, even be sing-songy about it. And me? Who am I in this whole gushing love fest? Frankly, I don't know. I've had a girlfriend or two, yes, but never long enough to feel love. And I'm not sure if I want to feel it, in all consideration. Love is not all candy and roses, I've seen it break people in two, and yet we're supposed to sit around and cherish it? We even have a holiday for it. I'm not all up on this whole 'love' thing. I'm sure once I find the right person and all, I should be all smiles and hugs when the word 'love' enters a conversation. But I have yet to feeling that emotion. My mom says it's because I have yet to find the right girl, and then she does that whole winking thing whenever Lizzie enters a room. My dad says, love comes from unexpected places. Lizzie's mom and dad tell me the right girl is right under my nose, I just have to look, again the winking thing when Lizzie comes around. The only people that have ever gave me some good advice, would be Miranda's mom and dad. They told me love is not for all of us, and if we are ever to find love then we should take it in but not get drunk on it like some people, and what does Miranda do? She just grins and passes the cookies or whatever else we're eating when her mom and dad get on their whole, knowing mode.
Don't get drunk on it.
I'm sure I can handle that. I'm not that eager to feel love for the first time. When it comes, it comes, but before that, I'm not going to beg for it. There's the heartache, tears, and all that other painful stuff, and I'm not ready to get my heart broken. Am I being cynical here? Probably. It seems like Lizzie and Miranda are the more illogical, non-pratical part of the group and me ... well I'm the more logical one, who has lately grown a cynical side to myself. I guess when I was younger, I could be just as non-pratical as Lizzie and Miranda, especially in junior high, but enter high school, everything is different. And as a senior in high school I can say I survived it with flying colors and only have a year to go, and yes have yet to find love. Although Lizzie and Miranda swore they have found it. Lizzie said she found it with this foreign exchange student from France with the "cutest and sexiest accent" she has ever heard, plus as she puts it: "speaking another language is so awesome". Miranda said she found it with Trevor, actually a friend of mine, who thinks he's cool because he plays guitar, he was as Miranda put it: "The coolest". Trevor and the foreign exchange student eventually went from total "fab" into total "dud" when they broke up with Miranda and Lizzie, breaking their hearts.
I, was of course, the guy they went to for a shoulder to cry on. I'm not cynical of that, really I'm not. It's the fact for seventeen years of my life, I'm still the guy they come to for the shoulder to cry on, or to gush about their romantic life, and yeah, you know what? It DOES bother me. Trevor says, it's because Miranda and Lizzie have known me so long, and it's not possible for them to see me as anything else but the best friend, "one of the girls", and of course he says this in the nicest possible way, or so I hope. And how have my experiences with girls been? The word "eh" sums it up. I've had girlfriends, but nothing really serious. Although Trevor says the last girl I went out with should have been the "one". My last girlfriend was indeed special.
Carly Johnson. Long black hair, streaked blue, two piercings in each ear, she is known as alternative. Beautiful. Funny. Knew how to ride a skateboard like anyone else. So what was wrong with it? Why didn't we stick together? I frankly don't know. Carly was perfect, the odd thing was ... she reminded way too much of Miranda, and yet I was so close in actually falling in the "L" word with her. For some reason we broke up, I broke up with her, she moved on quickly, I moped for weeks at a time.
Ah, the life of a seventeen year old.
"In life there is heartache, but luckily for you, there are your friends to cheer you up." - Miranda Sanchez.
Miranda said that to me on the night after my break-up with Carly, Lizzie was currently off drooling over Andrew "I'm so cool" Martin, and Miranda had been the person there for me. I guess, I will always look up to Miranda for that day, because just when I thought I couldn't ever be happy again (that was how much I liked Carly), Miranda showed up and made me smile. I guess that's Miranda for you. In the last year of junior high me and Miranda seemed to grow closer. She became my best friend. Before we both had been Lizzie's best friends, and that is what sort of held us together, but it seemed in the last year of junior high we formed a bond of our own. And it was times like my sadness over the break-up of me and Carly, I realize ... Miranda is great.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have always known this.
Whether it's Miranda singing me this new song she wrote, or her eagerly wanting to be in one of my documentaries, I have known that deep down, she is great. I'm not talking about romance here, so get your minds out of the gutter. I have a connection with Miranda, one that is deeply woven into my soul. We are on the same wave length. In my roughest moments in life, I have always been able to count on Miranda, especially in this past year. She was there for me during the whole Carly thing, and I have been there for her doing the whole Trevor ordeal. And we were there for each other through everything else.
I still love Lizzie like nothing else, she will always be my best friend ... always. It's just now, I know I can call Miranda that as well. It's weird. Because Lizzie, is hardly around anymore. She's on her "mission of love" as she calls it. Lizzie has promised me and Miranda that she is going to find the love of her life before senior year is over, which causes her to be away a lot, and has also given me and Miranda a lot of time to get to know each other. This time with Miranda has helped me.
But this piques my interest.
I suddenly remember what Lizzie's mom and dad told me one day, in the first year of junior high.
"Gordo, love is something special, it lures you in with it's song. Love has it's own song, one that only your ears are intended to hear, and when you hear this song, you're going to fall madly in love with it and whoever is playing that song. And believe me, that special girl who is playing your song of love, is just beneath your nose, you just have to look for her." - Mrs. McGuire
"Looking for the right girl will be easier, once you open your eyes." - Mr. McGuire
Of course, they were talking about Lizzie when they told me all this. Of course, they would never admit this if one was to ask them; That's the McGuires for you, they try to act like they don't mean anything, but in reality, they always do.
But just thinking about it ... 'looking for the right girl will be easier, once you open your eyes'. What does that mean? I have my eyes open. I always have my eyes open. I'm the logical, practical sort of guy, who always has his eyes open. I'm the guy with direction. The one Lizzie and Miranda go to for a shoulder to cry on. I'm the guy who has always had one dream, to be a director. I'm the guy you can count on when the times get rough. I'm the guy that went all the way to New York when Miranda had her first paying "gig" (I guess, you can say that) and cheered her the whole time. I'm the guy who pretended to be Lizzie's boyfriend time and time again, so it could peak the jealousy of her current crushes. I'm everyone's best friend. The guy who encouraged Miranda to tell Trevor to stick it where the sun don't shine, even though Trevor is one of my best friends. My eyes are completely open.
*sighs*
I don't get the McGuires sometimes, just the way they say stuff, like they're dancing around their words. And the oddest thing about it is, that some things they say, you don't think about until like four years later, and when you finally do think about them, it drives you insane because you have no idea what they meant in the first place. Sort of like Lizzie in a way. Some things that come out of Lizzie's mouth can really send you up a wall. Make you think for hours at a time, think until you feel as if your head is going to explode, and then it's like, why were you spending all this time thinking about something you already know the answer to? Yeah, that is exactly how the McGuires are, all of them, except maybe Matt. Now Matt, says what he means and nothing else.
And you know, this could be me rambling.
I think it is.
*thinks for a moment, before nodding to himself*
Yep, it's a ramble, go me.
See, I tend to do this a lot. Carly used to say I thought too much, because we would be on a date, and I would seemingly just blank. She said I would just stare off, my eyes glazing over in a preoccupied gaze. Yeah, I guess I think a lot. It's one of my favorite pastimes. It's like ducking out of reality and getting lost in my own thoughts, thoughts no one else can get a hold of, because they are all mine. I think that was one of my traits Carly hated. My tendency to think way too much, blank out like I do. It's not like I try to annoy people by just blanking out, it's just something I do. I think. Y'know, I have a big brain. Heh. Lizzie said that to me once. I have a big brain. You can't say I have a big head, because that would make me an egomaniac, much like Ethan Craft. But by saying I have a big brain is a compliment, I'm smart. Go me. I'm the smart guy. Go team go.
The smart guy.
Oh great, here goes my cynical rant.
I hate being the smart guy. You have one actual smart thought and you are branded as the smart guy for life. And believe me, the smart guy doesn't get all the girls, or is the most popular guy around. That doesn't really mean anything to me. I'm not superficial. I don't even really hang out with popular people, well Trevor being the huge exception, and of course Lizzie. Lizzie is popular, even though she says she's not. And Miranda, her rebel attitude, makes her very popular. But me ... nah, I'm not popular. I have my flights with popularity, I get a girlfriend once in a while, and Trevor thinks I'm cool, so that makes me likable. But I will always be known as the smart guy. The guy who is just "friends" with Miranda Sanchez and Lizzie McGuire. The guy who was stupid enough to dump Carly Johnson when it was obvious she had a HUGE interest in me. I'm never the guy someone falls head over heels in love with.
*sighs*
It all comes down to love.
I don't like fretting over love, actually I tend to think I'm not that big on it, but in reality, in the deep recesses of my mind, I want to be loved. I'm talking about someone looking at me one day and saying 'oh crap, why didn't I see how great he was before?'. I want all that. And here is the big thing ... I want my 'special' someone, to be someone I've known for a while, someone who can appreciate who I really am, and someone I can appreciate who she really is. And Lizzie and Miranda are the only people I know like that. And I know that I don't like them like that ... at least I know a 100 percent sure I don't feel like for Lizzie.
And Miranda ... well Miranda is Miranda.
That sums it up, doesn't it?
Gah. I've thought way too
much ... this is David Gordon signing out.