I stole a look at him one final time before turning to leave. I wanted so bad to go run back into his arms. I want him to whisper sweet nothings into my ear as I slowly drift off to sleep. I want him to be the person I think about before I go to bed. I want him to be on my mind when I wake up. I just want him.

It wasn't always like this. Chad and I had one of the greatest relationships ever. We were the perfect couple. It wasn't that either of us was perfect, in the sense that we had no imperfects; we were perfect because of our imperfections.

I scolded myself as I snuck a glance out the rear view mirror. I knew that if I looked at his tear streaked cheek and his fallen face for much longer; I would end up just running back into his arms. The only problem with that was the chance of his heart breaking. If I left now, while I still had the chance, he would be able to find love again. The pictures he would have in his memories would soon turn for the worse as my body weakened.

I watched Chad fall to his knees as I started slowly away from the building. I knew that telling him the real reason would cause him more pain than the lie.

*Flashback*

"Hey, Sonny, where do you want to go tonight?" I heard Chad ask. The timing he had was the worst. The phone fell out of my hand as the tears began filling my eyes. "Sonny, what's wrong, babe?" Chad asked, stepping closer. I held my hand out, telling him to just stop where he was.

"I don't think that we can be together." I whispered, wanting this to be as painless for him as possible. It hurt me to know that I would have to say the five words that would explain everything.

"Why, Sonny?" Tears were already starting to make their way down his cheeks. I looked away from him, knowing that the second I looked at him, I would gather him in my arms and tell him that it was a joke.

"I don't love you anymore." I said emotionless. The only way that I could get through this was if I keep emotions out of my heart right now.

"If that's the way you feel," He trailed off, looking at me. I could see the pain in his eyes, the pain that I cause. I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"I leave tomorrow afternoon." I told him so he wouldn't be shocked. I saw the simple nod of his head.

"Can I see you one last time before you go?" I looked at his pleading eyes. The will to say no, vanished as I found myself lost in his eyes.

"Sure," I smiled sadly to him. I knew that this would be the final time that I would ever see him, so why not give him a chance to say goodbye?

*End of Flashback*

I stopped the car, opening my door. I sprinted the distance that I drove and back into his arms. "I'm sorry," I whispered, kissing his cheek.

"Why?" Was the only noise that came out of his mouth. I had an internal debate with myself on whether or not I should tell him. I decided that, what is it going to hurt if I tell him?

"Chad, do you remember the story I told you? The one that cause my eating disorder?" The confused expression that was still painted on his face gave me the hint that he had no clue. "Chad, the one about my grandmother." His eyes lit up in sadness as he nodded his head. "Do you remember what she died of?"

"Ovarian cancer?" He questioned. I knew that he was completely clueless as to what it meant, but I didn't know if I could continue.

"Chad, she live a little over a year after she was diagnosed." The expression on his face told me to keep going. "Chad, I was diagnosed with it yesterday. It's stage one, so the survival rate is almost perfect, but the fact is I have cancer. I have the death wish." By the end of my rant, I had tears falling out of my eyes.

"Sonny, is this why you are leaving?" I nodded.

"You can't get hurt if something bad happens to me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt you." I told him truthfully. I knew that my fifteen minutes of fame was done. I turned away, walking back to the car.

The last words that I heard from him were, "I'll find you. I won't give up and neither will you." A part of me wishes that he would keep his word. If he did, that would mean that I wouldn't have to deal with this alone. But, I knew that it was better this way. So, now I am left driving away, wondering if he would ever come and rescue me from the thing I call life.

************************************************************************How was it? Read and review please!

Kelsey :-)