Title: Butterfly Backside

Pairing: Whatever it is you want to see.

Rating: PG? Ish?

Summary: Erza got a tattoo. Lucy is displeased.

i.

Lucy was the first to notice.

Everything went downhill from there.

ii.

"That's a tramp stamp."

Erza twittered nervously. Except that she didn't, because Erza never twittered, nervously or otherwise. But there were people watching and they were at the Guild and Lucypleaseshutup.

"Lucy..."

"My best friend is not getting a tramp stamp." She put her foot down. Cutely. Erza tried very desperately to think happy thoughts because she was torn between rage and whatever it was Loki felt when he had those massive nosebleeds. (And also a bit of wanting to point out that it was kind of there already and that this was no time for Lucy to be having a blonde moment.)

The S-ranked mage took a deep breath. Violence would not solve anything. Violence would not solve...

Natsu and Grey both grinned evilly and mouthed "Tramp... St..."

And then her resolution went out the window and she told herself she was definitely not running away when the two broken and rapidly cooling (okay, Gray was defrosting, whatever) bodies and herself ended up two miles away.

Damn.

iii.

"Lluvia thinks Erza-san is in denial," Lluvia said matter-of-factly, as she came to collect Grey. Everyone had a standing agreement not to tell Grey who bandaged him up and changed him out of his bloodied clothes after fights.

(Or, rather, Erza found her comradely concern perfectly commendable, Happy and Natsu found it hilarious, Lucy was not normally a participant in wholesale village destruction and was therefore ignorant, and everyone else rolled their eyes)

"I am not in denial." Erza snapped. And then she realized she hadn't the faintest clue what the water mage was talking about and had to add: "About what?"

The water mage managed to stop writing dark, gothic, love poetry to the ice mage's left sock long enough to say:

"Lluvia thinks you know perfectly well, Erza-san."

Erza left when the water mage started winking suggestively at Grey's belt, dragging Natsu along.

iv.

Erza had her own place, which she had never actually allowed anyone else into after the first catastrophe – descending horde of locusts that they were.

She also owned a full-length mirror and had thought the tattoo tasteful and perfectly appropriate.

But that was besides the point, because Natsu could only be either patched up at his place or at Lucy's. And, for some odd reason, she hadn't pulled her punches today so it was probably Lucy's because the stellar spirit mage actually owned a first aid kit. Erza hesitated before knocking because, really, it had only been like half an hour since she left the guild in a small tornado of fists, feet and magic and she might not be home.

Actually, come to think of it that might be better-

"Coming!" The Heartphilia maybe-heir said, pitter-patter of dainty feet rushing to answer the door.

Damn.

"Erza!" There was something in that statement that made the said mage want to wince.

"And... Natsu." Erza looked down. It was indeed Natsu. Somewhat disfigured but Natsu, dragon-slayer and confirmed idiot still. For some reason, his corpse made her feel a bit guilty. Not guilty enough to blush though.

Lucy sighed.

"Come in."

v.

"It's not appropriate." Lucy lectured.

Erza was discovering what it felt like to be outclassed in a fight against a girl again. It was not a good feeling. "Lucy..."

"And it's not... it's not you! What possessed you to get a tattoo..." there was a collusion of words and images and thoughts that ended up in a bottleneck, "there?"

Natsu groaned in his concussion-induced sleep as Lucy applied the dish detergent (because it still gets rid of bugs, right Happy?) a bit too vigorously.

"I wanted-"

And this time Erza did blush. And then sent a death glare at the blue cat who took this as a cue to flee in full-blown panic. The walking medieval arsenal licked her lips. Lying sucked.

"I... errr..." Trapped by inspiration and too much girly things that she definitely didn't read. "I wanted to feel a bit more feminine..."

Erza Scarlet covered her eyes. That was stupid. There was no way the girl was going to believe something so inane, and melodramatic and out of character-

"Oh Erza..." There was a brief pause before she dropped the detergent and ignored Natsu's whimpers as she wrapped Erza up in a hug, spiny magical armour and all. "You're fine as you are, promise."

And Erza thought, guiltily, that maybe Lluvia was right after all.

vi. Epilogue: Happy

"Pictures or it didn't happen," Kana slurred drunkenly.

Author's Notes: This was published eons and eons (okay, last year) in the Fairy Flash LJ community. Figured I might as well upload it here as I put up the bits and pieces I've been working on.