There's spoilery in here for up to Out Of Gas. It's a slashfic between Kaylee and Inara so if that's not your cup of tea please hit the back button.

Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly and don't make any money writing this. It's simply the product of my overactive imagination combined with my overwhelming urge to write.

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes.

Excerpt from She Walks in Beauty – Lord George Gordon Byron

Kaylee sits in the kitchen with Wash and Zoe. She listens with rapt attention to the story, hardly believing the words she hears.

"So a real companion- here on our boat?" she asks, her eyes are wide, bright with curiosity.

Zoe laughs, "Dahng ran of course. We probably won't be seein' her much though; she's got her own shuttle and such for doing her work. I'm just glad we've been able to get that space filled, means a bit more money to keep us floatin'."

"I wonder what she looks like?" Wash asks to no one in particular. Zoe lifts one of her brows, gives him a look. Wash quickly adds, "Not that I'd be overly interested, what with you by my side there's no reason for me to know what she looks like." He finishes with a worried laugh, Zoe smiles.

"Nice cover there flyboy." She gets up from her seat, says something about checking the cargo, Wash has to pilot and Kaylee's left in the kitchen thinking about it all.

She wonders what a real life registered companion would look like, maybe would she be blonde? For some reason she thinks that companions should be blonde, men like that kinda stuff. She'd probably have round hips, all curvy and soft. An image pops into her head, a bright and bubbly blonde that laughs too loudly and wears revealing clothing. She shakes her head at the silliness of it. A companion would be more refined than that.

So maybe she's like one of them actors then, all glitz and shiny eyes and big smiles that know the perfect time to laugh and swoon. She seen a few shows before she got on with Serenity and those girls were all manner of perfect hair and beautiful dresses.

"Kaylee I need you in the engine room, Wash says there's a bit of a drag when we bank left." Mal's standing over her, his hands on his hips. She blinks. When did he come in?

"'Course, Cap'n, I'll take a look at it right away." She says quickly, gets up from her seat and goes to check on the engine. She tries not to think of the companion while she fixes the problem.

It's been three days and Kaylee's curiosity has grown from a niggling thought in the back of her head to something she dwells on while she fixes all them little problems on Serenity. This time it's the bay doors not openin' right, an easy fix she tells the Captain, and he smiles and tells her there aint no mechanic knows Serenity like Kaylee does.

She's on her back fixin' the last of the wires and she's wondering again about the glamorous movie star companion they got on ship. What would her voice be like? Maybe soft and light, like the sound of ringing bells, or maybe it would be deep and throaty, makin' ya shiver when you hear it.

"My goodness, you really must have your work cut out for you." She hears a voice that's nothin' she's heard the like of before and jumps; smacks her head on the panel she's under. Kaylee scrabbles out from under the panel, rubs the spot on her forehead that she hit but that's not what's makin' her eyes wide and her breath catch.

It's the companion; standing elegant and graceful right in front of her seein' eyes. Only she's different from the blonde in her head, not glitzy like the actors she envisioned. The woman in front of her is… well exquisite would be a good word. Her hair is dark and long, it's curled softly to frame her soft skin and dark eyes. There's a smile lifting the corners of her red, red lips and her getup is beautiful, a pale rose colored dress that brushes the floor, shimmers like moonlight on water even in the dim cargo bay.

"Uh… Yeah I guess I do." Kaylee gives a nervous titter, can't keep looking, drinking her in. Mal looks over while strapping down some of the cargo they have, slipping other crime-type goods into the hidden storage compartment by the stairs.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." The companion says, and this time the teasing smile comes out, stretches across her face and Kaylee can't breathe, thinks her coveralls might be zipped too high. "I was going from the kitchen back to my shuttle and noticed you. I thought it would be good to introduce ourselves since we'll be living on the same ship together. My name is Inara Serra, I'm very pleased to meet you."

"I'm Kaylee, Nice to uh… meet you." She holds out her hand to shake, sees the grime and pulls it back half way through the sentence and bows. She hears the Captain snicker somewhere in the back. "Were you gonna eat in your shuttle?" She asks when she sees a small amount of food in a basket she carries. Inara the companion gives another smile, this one's different though 'cause it don't quite reach her eyes.

"I think it's best for me to eat there yes." She says solemnly.

"Well that can't be too fun, eatin' all alone like that. You should come eat with us. I'm on cook duty tonight, naught more but protein 'n a few canned goods but you're welcome to join us if you'd like." Kaylee gives a smile of her own, tries to inconspicuously wipe the grime from her hands behind her back.

"Thank you Kaylee, the gesture is much appreciated." Inara says. Kaylee notices she didn't say no, but she didn't say yes either.

"I think what Inara's tryin' to say," Mal quips, coming around from behind the cargo, "Is that she doesn't find it quite the same eating with the workin' folk and all. Let her eat where she wants to eat." Mal gives a sardonic smirk to Inara. She lowers her lashes but Kaylee can see that it aint because she's bashful.

She raises them again and her dark eyes glitter as she looks pointedly at Kaylee. "I would love to join you." She says and maybe there's a different reason why Inara the companion said yes but it don't mind her overmuch, she's just happy she gets to see her again.

"Well alright then, chow's on at six." Kaylee nods, smiles again and watches as Inara gives a weighted look to the Captain, then goes back to her shuttle. Her steps are perfect; she looks like she's gliding away on clouds or something similar.

Run-tze duh fwotzoo merciful Buddha Kaylee thinks.

"Buddha aint got nothin' to do with her line of work." Mal says, and Kaylee realizes she spoke the words instead of thought them. Then he turns towards the last batch of cargo to strap down. Kaylee looks at the empty doorway for another minute before turning back to the panel, sees again the grime on her hands.

Kaylee can barely keep the excitement down from the meeting she had earlier. She takes a deep breath and remembers all the tools she may need, lifts them in her heavy sack and heads over to the shuttle a mite faster than what's prob'ly needed. Inara's shuttle has some problem in it that she noticed when she got back from one of her fanciful client meetings and needs Kaylee to look at it.

She's been wondering what it would look like inside her shuttle. Probably all bright and pretty, full of bouquets of flowers or maybe real comfortable like, rich people like to be comfortable. There are probably a lot of pillows – she'd be needing them what with the work she does.

So she goes, and she wonders, and when she tentatively knocks on the shuttle door she holds her breath in anticipation imagining behind her lids all the wonderful things that could be inside.

"Qing jin." come in She hears Inara's soft voice again and it isn't like bells, and it's not raspy or low. Educated Kaylee decides, and it's all sorts of nice. Strong sorta, and confident, but there's something else in it that makes you wanna strike up a conversation with her just to hear it more.

She opens the door, steps through with her bag then almost drops it. Inara's folding some of her clothes and today she's wearing another beautiful dress that Kaylee's never seen the like of before. It's dark and shiny with red flowers all patterned through it making her red, red lips that much redder and her dark straight hair that much more glossy.

Her eyes turn from Inara and take in the rich fabrics that are draped everywhere so you feel like you're surrounded by the creation of Inara, not just metal bulkheads. The lighting is dim, well not dim really but soft like, candle-lit would be the word even though Kaylee aint seen a single candle in the place yet. There's a low table that looks dark and expensive, and everywhere Kaylee's eyes fall there's some new treasure that makes her wonder why Inara would choose Serenity of all places to make her home.

Inara shows her to the cabin, points out the problem and before she's done the explanation Kaylee's already pushing up her sleeves and pulling apart components to get to the small part that needs fixin'. It's an easy enough job, the one part she needs to replace is a nothing problem, the real problem though is where the piece is, and it's a whole lot of digging before she can get to it.

By the time she's done the grime has taken over, but its good clean work and good clean dirt. She finds Inara the companion, now making tea by the looks of it, and she's sitting on her couch tapping small bits of leaf into her teapot –even that looks swanky.

"It's all fixed up. Just be careful next time you hit atmo- if you notice the port side jerkin' again I'll have another look at her."

"Thank you very much Kaylee." Inara looks up; her eyes widen slightly when she looks Kaylee over. "Oh goodness that must have been a big job."

"Not really, just messy is all. I don't mind though." Kaylee shrugs and Inara smiles at her. That too tight feeling is back.

"It looks like you have a knot in your hair. If you like I can probably get it out for you." Inara says. Kaylee lifts her hand, finds the knot and thinks she must look a right mess. She can feel her cheeks redden in embarrassment.

"Maybe…" Kaylee mumbles. Inara gives another one of her smiles, reaches into a drawer and pulls out a brush, motions for Kaylee to sit and Kaylee is all manner of flustered. Eventually she stumbles to the seat she's been offered, sits awkwardly 'cause she don't want to ruin the fine fabrics of the floor pillow.

Seconds later the pillows are completely forgotten about. Inara the companion sits comfortably behind Kaylee, takes her hair in her manicured perfect hand and pulls the brush soothingly through the tangled mess of her hair.

Shook, shook, shook goes the brush, easily untangling the mess that her hair once was. It's a relaxing feeling, and Kaylee thinks she could get used to this. She breathes deep and relaxes more into the cushion, finds that even the smell in Inara's shuttle is nice. Kinda smells like jasmine, expensive incense, green tea and something almost spicy.

They get to talkin', even laughing a bit and when the knots are out and her hair shines Inara the companion is somehow just Inara now. She's still a companion but she aint feeling like some untouchable star anymore.

Kaylee walks with Inara along one of the many corridors goin' any place and no place, and they talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

She finds that Inara's laugh is infectious, wants to bring that laughter out more often, open it like a flower does to sunshine, learn all the sounds inside and out like how she knows Serenity. She wonders if it's possible to get addicted to a sound, or maybe a smell because even her smell is nice, its spice and sweetness and heady. Nothing like her own smell; Kaylee always smells like engine grease or burnt wires or something else ship-like.

Kaylee's walking with Inara again, just on a nowhere walk and another nothing talk, this time chatting about dresses and how fun it would be to be able to wear them fancy getups all the time. Inara's wearing something soft, a pale bluey-grey flowie dress that has pieces that just kinda float away from her skin so its lookin' like mist or maybe fine clouds followin' in her wake. Jayne the new guy comes out of his bunk and Mal follows close behind as he gives him the full tour. He gives Inara a strange look, rakes her curved frame from head to toe and says something too hushed under his breath for Kaylee to hear but has an idea anyways.

"Yes that's the companion I was tellin' about. I will only say this once: you will be civil when you're addressing Inara, or any other of the women on this boat. Dong ma?" understand Mal states in his sharp voice. Jayne's brow furrows.

"If I can afford her I reckon I can say them things then." He replies, gives another one of those looks to Inara's body. Inara huffs, not quite laughter, not quite irritation.

"I will not be servicing anyone on this ship. That includes you."

"Well what if I'm off the boat, you'll service me then right? Hey Mal, when're we dropping down next?" Jayne asks. A strange glint is in his eyes. Kaylee feels strange, the too tight feeling is back but it's not in her chest where it used to be, more lower down in her belly so it tightens up her insides and makes her hands clench into little fists at her sides.

"Just because you're off the ship doesn't mean I will service you. You need to understand that anyone under Mal's employ will not be partaking in any of my many… varied talents." She gives a sly smile, brushes past the two men and Kaylee smiles a little to herself.

I never saw so sweet a face as that I stood before.

My heart has left its dwelling place and can return no more

-John Clare

It's the first time Kaylee notices a real problem on Serenity. Compression coil's not doing so great and if they don't get a fix soon things aint gonna be so good for any of 'em. She tells Cap'n but money's scarce right now and parts are expensive.

"Do what you can for now little Kaylee. Once we get this job done for Badger we can get a new one." He says. Kaylee nods understandingly, then goes back to the engine room to finish up the rest of her inspection.

She's surprised to find Inara there touching the rusted metal of the engine, she slides her hands against the workings and Kaylee wishes for one fleeting moment that metal was her skin. It's an uncommon thought and shakes her insides up a bit, makes her stomach do a strange flip.

"Whatcha doing in here Inara?" Kaylee asks, a small smile graces her lips. Inara don't turn around, acts like she had always known Kaylee was right there.

"In all my time on Serenity I've never really been down here." She says in her enticing voice. Kaylee comes up close, traces her hand a little behind where Inara touched, follows the same path with her own grubby hand.

"It's the heart of her. Beautiful aint she?" She asks, a note of pride slips into her words. Inara turns then, and her eyes are dark but so bright it looks like she got stars in 'em.

"Yes, she is." She replies softly and Kaylee knows she was talkin' 'bout Serenity but the way Inara's eyes look at her, into her, makes her wonder who or what else Inara meant those words for.

Too tight and strangely sore is the feeling in Kaylee's chest.

That night Kaylee lies in her hammock in the engine room, looks over at the place where she and Inara stood close together and starts to wonder at the feelings inside her.

She thinks that must be looking up to her, admiring all the wonderful things that Inara is, but it's not that she wants to be like Inara. Although her many fine qualities and her perfect manners are definitely something Kaylee could learn from, it's not completely admiration that she feels.

Well then maybe its friendship, the best friend kind where you wanna share anything and everything, laughing and joking into evenings and being able to finish each other's sentences just because you know the other person so well. Although that aint quite it either.

Sisters would be a good match then. Feeling as close to Inara as she does sometimes she could consider her a sister of sorts, telling each other all their little secrets and always having someone there to love and protect and watch over you… But even that doesn't really fit for some reason.

And if it aint admiration, or friendship, or family but something different then it don't leave too many options. Her brow furrows in confusion.

She looks over at the metal Inara's fine hand touched, remembers the feeling that went through her for that one quick moment. She remembers the too tight, strangely sore feeling.

Maybe it isn't admiration, or friendship, or family but something that has all them feelings wrapped up in it, something that aint quite any of those feelings at all either.

She rolls over on her hammock; closes her eyes but sleep don't come for a good long while for Kaylee that night.

They got new people onboard and Kaylee's sure there aint nothing better than meetin' them and getting to know 'em. Not only does she learn lots of new things, but it keeps her mind from straying to places she's not sure she wants to go to yet.

The doc is all sorts of nice, easy on the eyes, smart and polite too. He cares lots for his sister – who isn't really all there but Kaylee don't mind, she's a nice girl, all in all.

The Sheppard's great as well, full of stories from abbey life that makes her laugh so hard her stomach aches. So she throws herself into learning about them, especially the doc – Simon his name is.

"Mmm… That's nice." Kaylee sighs as the brush gently scrapes her scalp, runs through her hair that's now silky from being brushed.

"Well it's been a while since it's been brushed properly." Inara gives a light laugh, trails the brush again through her hair and Kaylee never wants it to stop.

"So 'Nara… Why don't you got a boyfriend?" Kaylee asks hesitantly. The brush stops mid-scalp for half a breath then continues its progression, slower this time round.

"There are many reasons." Inara says cryptically. Kaylee's getting used to the way Inara hides her meanings in words, thinks that maybe she learned such stuff in that academy she's always goin' on about.

"That companion stuff makes it a little difficult I bet." She says and notices again the brush pausing before running through the golden stands of her hair.

"That's one thing certainly. The rules for such a relationship are complicated to say the least. For someone to be with a companion means they would need to be comfortable with the career I've chosen, and not many can do something like that so easily." Inara's voice sounds sad but resigned and Kaylee wants to take the brush from her hands, hold her fingers against her palm 'till the laughter comes back.

"Well if I was a guy and had a companion for my girl I wouldn't mind a bit." Kaylee says and nods confidently, then bites the inside of her cheek, face flaming.

"I know you would." Inara says softly and Kaylee notices that the brush has stopped moving entirely. Inara places a hand on Kaylee's shoulder and her heart starts beating louder and faster. She starts to worry that Inara might be able to hear it the sound is so loud.

Kaylee takes a breath, holds it in her chest, tries to tell her heart to slow down even though she knows it aint gonna listen. She slowly raises her hand up from her lap, real slow like towards her shoulder where Inara's hand lay. Only a few inches more and she'd be able to touch those beautiful fingers-

"Kaylee! Wuh de mah mother of god where the hell are you girl- oh." Mal curses as he steps through the door, his eyes brighten when they land on Kaylee. "We're about to hit atmo. I want you there when we touchdown in Canton." Kaylee pulls her hand real quick away to drop back into her lap, hopes her cheeks don't look as hot as they feel though she's not quite sure why she'd feel that way since nothing happened.

"What have I told you about barging into my shuttle unannounced?" Inara snaps and pulls her hand from Kaylee's shoulder.

"That I shouldn't do it unless you're behind on the rent- but I had a good reason this time, you're holding my mechanic hostage with yer… Feminine wiles and such." He waves a hand airily between the two.

"Captain she's just brushing my hair." Kaylee says, shakes her head in exasperation at the Cap'n but gets up from the seat anyways.

"See? Feminine wiles." Mal nods happily in confirmation, thumbs looped through his dark suspenders.

"Oh well you'd better go Kaylee before I completely seduce you with a hairbrush." Inara says jokingly as she puts the item away but when Kaylee meets Inara's eye there's something strange in the back of 'em. Kaylee laughs it off, goes with the captain but part of her starts to wonder what that look could mean.

Kaylee's workin' on tidying up her tools after a long day of tinkering with Serenity, just makin' sure she runs right and proper. The too tight feeling she gets around Inara has turned into an ache that follows her throughout the day and Kaylee understands now what the feeling is about. She tries not to think about it though, finds it's kinda hard to focus when her mind goes to that place.

"You're not the only one." River's voice rings through the room and Kaylee's head snaps up. She looks to the door of the engine room, sees River peeking out from behind the wall.

"What was that mei mei?" little sister Kaylee asks, lines of confusion form on her brow.

"The ache. You're not the only one that feels it. You just have to see past her masks and it'll be there, it's just as strong as yours is." River gives a comforting smile and Kaylee can't breathe, tries with great effort to pull her scrambled thoughts into some semblance of order.

"River… What are you talking about?" Kaylee asks in a low voice very careful like, but the clear look River had only a moment ago is gone, her fingers rise up to rest near her chin and her eyes have that faraway look in them.

"Two by two… Hands of blue… Two by two…." River mumbles as she turns and walks away.

Kaylee stands silent and shaken in the engine room and listens to River's retreating footsteps.

Things aint good. In fact they're horrible. Compression coil's broke and for the first time Kaylee can't fix it, feels like she let everyone down and the feeling sits inside of her, weighs her down so that she feels sick. Zoe's hurt real bad because of the explosion and to make matters worse they had to flee Serenity.

She sits next to Inara in the cockpit while Jayne and Book sit silent in the back of the shuttle. Jayne tried to take control at first but Inara, smart girl that she is, asked Kaylee to change some of them controls so Jayne won't be able to fly the shuttle. Worked pretty well too.

Kaylee looks out the window, sees all them untouchable stars and thinks that they're all like them, drifting alone and silent in the black. All of 'em bright shining beacons radiating their light but still too far away to grasp in her little palm. She knows there's a good possibility they aint gonna get through this alive and she wants to say all the things in her heart to Inara, wants to tell her about the too tight feeling and the ache in her chest but the words don't wanna come out.

Then they don't need to come out 'cause Inara takes her hand, squeezes it real tight and Kaylee's throat closes up because all those feelings and words want to get out at the same time. They're stronger an' bigger than Kaylee's throat can handle. Inara looks over at her and her eyes are worried, but that something in the back of 'em has come out and Kaylee sees that River was right. There's an ache she sees in them. Kaylee recognizes it from all the times she looked in the mirror in her bunk and had that feeling inside her staring back.

"Fahng sheen don't worry Inara. I know." She says softly, and her voice sounds strange, confident and comforting even though she don't feel much of either right now. She takes her free hand and places it tightly over their clasped ones, brings it up and holds it to her chest. Their fingers start to intertwine, locks them together and when Kaylee looks again there's tears brimming in Inara's dark, dark eyes.

Without a word Inara pulls her close, places a kiss on Kaylee's lips and it's everything she's dreamt of and nothing like any of them at the same time. She's warm and sweet and right there in her arms but her lips aren't soft like her dreams. It's a harder, more desperate kiss that has something in the back of it, like her eyes when she tries to hide something. It's like Inara's puttin' all the things she can't say into this one action and Kaylee's breath is taken away. When she pulls back her cheeks are wet and somehow it don't matter if it's Inara's tears or hers.

"Fahng sheen." She says in a whisper again and the beacon goes off on the panel to call them home.

It's been goin' on near two weeks since they came back and things are starting to return to normal. Captain's up and tryin' to walk about even though doc told him he shouldn't. Zoe's smiling and laughing with Wash. Book and Jayne are back to their strange way of talkin' to each other. River drifts through the corridors with her faraway eyes and Simon chases after her.

But things aint quite right everywhere. Kaylee knows it like she knows this boat, can feel it under her fingers when she touches the metal of the ship's engine. She knows what she has to do but it don't make things any easier. In fact it kinda makes 'em harder.

She makes sure this time she isn't wearing her coveralls; she wears something comfortable but nice lookin'. Nothing like what Inara wears but she thinks it's better than nothing. She waits until almost everyone's asleep, then goes to knock on her shuttle door.

"Come in." Inara's voice says, and it's like all the other times she said it, all educated and nice and soft and Kaylee takes a steadying breath before she opens the shuttle door.

Inara's getting ready for bed, she's wearing a black and gold nightgown that brings out the gold hues of her skin, makes her hair shine. When she looks up at Kaylee her eyes widen and a smile graces her lips. Not quite so red this time but Kaylee thinks it's almost better this way.

"So um… getting ready for bed?" Kaylee asks and mentally smacks herself, tries to remember the reason she came here but finds it hard to think when Inara smiles like that.

"Yes I am, but I'm having some trouble sleeping. Would you care to join me for some tea?" She asks and Kaylee jumps at the offer.

She sits on the low couch while Inara tinkers near the back, and when the tea is poured and each have a cup Kaylee's in better control of herself.

"I'm glad you came tonight Kaylee. I think we should talk." Inara's face is serious and Kaylee finds that the tea sitting in her stomach isn't doing so well, feels like butterflies instead of liquid, all floating around and making her want to fidget.

"I think so too." Kaylee murmurs into her cup and finds it hard to look into those dark, bright eyes.

"First-"

"Wait." Kaylee says, cuts her words off before she loses all her nerve, puts the cup down on the table and looks at Inara right and proper. "I want to say some things before you start, 'cause if I don't do it now I aint sure if I ever will. See, there's this feelin' I get when I'm lookin' at you, right here in my chest. Feels like the whole world's just sittin' in there and I feel too full kinda - but not at the same time. I don't think I'm explaining it right." Kaylee sighs, takes a breath and tries again.

"You might know what I'm talkin' 'bout and you might not. I think I seen it when we were on your shuttle that time when… You know." Kaylee blushes, drops her head to look at her hands twisting in her lap. "I just wanna know… Is it the same for you?" She lifts her eyes, looks out from under her lashes and Inara's face is open, looks like the masks are gone and Kaylee sees all of her for the first time.

"Kaylee is this the first time you've felt this way?" Inara asks carefully. Kaylee sees in her eyes that there's concern, caution, hope and something else held in the back that Kaylee can't quite read.

"Well… Only the first time with a girl." Kaylee gives a quick nervous laugh, then the smile slides away. "But even before with others… it aint never been quite like this." The last words are said as a whisper and her chest has that feeling again, the one that cuts off her words and makes Inara's masks slip.

"Oh Baobei." sweetheart Inara chides, holds her hand out and Kaylee takes it. "Yes I know the feeling." Inara whispers and brings Kaylee in to the warmth of an embrace. For the first time Kaylee feels like she's come home. Not just to her daddy's shop where all her family is and not when she got on with Serenity. This is a different kind of home feeling. Kaylee never wants it to end.

Time passes, she's not sure how much but eventually she pulls away from Inara's warm body, thinks it's probably way past sleepin' time. But when she pulls away 'Nara takes her face in her perfect hands.

"You're not the only one that feels this way Kaylee. I feel it too." She whispers and Kaylee feels like all them untouchable stars just filled up her insides, makes her feel like she's glowing and lighting up all the black places so there ain't no more darkness anymore, just bright light, Kaylee and Inara.

Then Kaylee leans in, and so does Inara. She kisses Inara's petal soft lips and this time it really is just like all them times she thought of it, imagined it behind her closed lids at night.

Only this time's better she thinks, because this time's real, this time's right, and this time's the first time she knows she aint the only one.

-FIN-

As per usual, comments and reviews are much appreciated, I always want to know what you think and suggestions for making my work better.

~Symphonyofsilence