disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. If it were it would be really twisted, and full of horror and death and romance. Can't forget the romance.
pairing: Alec/Renesmee. The only reason I write Twilight fanfiction.
note: I haven't forgotten about you, Alec/Renesmee fans. Even if I'm the laziest updater ever, and should only be given permission for writing one-shots, because I am never dedicated to any story with multiple chapters. I'm just suffering slight writer's block and stuff. My muse went on a vacation, and returned with Peter Pan.
song: Tantric-Down and Out. I just love that song, Down and Out. That violin and guitar, just beautiful. Is it a violin, I'm not really educated in the matter of music.
note's note: Oh, this story is slightly AU. And with a dark Renesmee. Maybe it's a little more than slightly AU, but I don't know.

down and out
nothing in-between to fall through, I'm being myself, but who are you?

I met you once.

And when I met you, the flames burned cackling in the shadows. Your words burned me. Burned me, leaving less than pleasant scars on my arms, my face, I was burned. So painfully burned. I was thrown into the fire, till my flesh turned into ashes and the only thing that remained of me were my bones.

I don't feel fear around you. I feel something else, something deeper than fear. I felt terror. I felt anguish. I felt love. And that's what scared me the most. I don't believe in love you know? I was called many things in my life. Horrible things.

Devil's child. Demon. Witch. Monster. Killer. Destroyer. Death. Murderer.

But the truth is I preferred those names to the names of love any day. Because, names of love are full of lies. I rather here names that describe who I really am. Once, a spiteful girl told me I didn't have a soul. She called me a monster, a demon, a witch, just because the boy she fell in love with was in love with me. And do you know what I did?

I laughed in her face. You would be proud, because I know that's what you would have done, as well. It's funny how the world perceives me as a monster, like my family perceives you as a monster? If I didn't know better, I would say that we are a match made in hell.

When I got home, I was scolded. My family, they yelled at me in their soothing tones, and they told me to act human. But I couldn't it, because human was the last thing I ever wanted to be. A child like me only had a road to hell, for there was no choice for a child born in sin. I was a sinner; they just refused to believe it.

And Jacob. Poor, pitiful Jacob still loved me. Even as I ran and escaped to anyone's open arms because, anyone's arms are better than the arms of a man who is supposed to love me, due to the natural order of things. I didn't want order. I want chaos. Sweet, sweet chaos that tasted like blood. And I rather liked seeing blood spill, much to the dismay of the natural order.

The chaos makes me want to dance with you. Dance until we can't dance anymore, dance until the world bleeds and there's red in our black and white world. Will you care to join me? There's no place I rather be, than with you. Because, only you can understand the chaos and only you will be insane enough to release it. Unlike my parent's I didn't bite into the forbidden apple. I bit into the apple of discord. Now I'm waiting for you to bite into it as well. Because there is nothing greater in this world than destruction caused by two stars crossed lovers.

You want to know more, don't you? You want to know me, but here's the thing. You know who I am, just who are you? Because all you are is a memory that I am reaching for. But here's the thing…

I've only met you once, but it feels like I spent a lifetime in your arms.

...

the end