Summary: It's the middle of the night, you're in the middle of nowhere and the car won't start. What do you do? AH, E/J, NC-17, slash (well, duh).

A/N: A very slashy Edward and Jasper filled birthday to ~OnTheTurningAway! Who is, of course, the bestest reviewer a slasher could have.

Thanks to ~venisenvy and ~LoveComesLast for alphaing and ~kBlackNightingale for betaing.

Disclaimer: I wish.

Jasper turned the key again and a series of clicks came from the engine. Or whatever it was that the key was connected to. "It's fucked, man. The battery's dead."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"Oh my god." I stared some more. "You—you thought it was a good idea to drive us out into the middle of fucking nowhere with a dead battery?" I was aghast. I would have said speechless, if it hadn't been for the speech I'd just made. "What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"

"It wasn't dead when we left, obviously. How was I supposed to know it was gonna die?"

"You're a car owner. You're supposed to know these things. It's called maintenance. Fuck, Jas. We're stuck out here, you know what's all around us? Nothing. Swamp. And a whole lot of nothing. No one comes down here in the middle of the night, you know?"

That had been the whole idea. We couldn't go to my place, nor could we go to his place, on account of us both still living with our parents. So we drove to the most remote stretch of road we knew of to fool around and be back in time to leave our parents none the wiser. Being a teenager sucked serious dick.

But then, so did Jasper, and that's what got me into this mess.

"Shit," I said, cradling my head in my hands. "So what do we do?"

"I could call my dad."

"Yeah. And where did you tell him you were going?"

Jasper chuckled. "The library. To study."

"Oh, shit. No way, man. Your dad'll lose it. Completely. Look, maybe the connections are loose or dirty or something. My uncle had this car, and sometimes he had to wiggle the connecty bits on the battery and then the car would start."

Jasper cocked an eyebrow at me. Or at least I think he did. We had no lights. "Connecty bits?"

"I don't fucking know. Do I have a car? No. If I did I'd damn well make sure the battery wasn't gonna go dead after I drove us out here into the middle of the goddamn swamp, would I? Is it gonna hurt if we try it?"

"Okay. Fine. Pass me the flashlight out of the glove box. I'll wiggle the connecty bits."

I opened the compartment and rummaged for the light. "Dude," I said when I uncovered a small, familiar looking bottle. "Why do you have lube in here?"

He grinned, all teeth and dimples. "You never know."

I huffed. "Whatever." I found the flashlight and handed it to him. He opened his door and got out while I stayed where I was, pissed off, freaked out. He got the hood up, and I waited. And waited. Then he came round to my side of the car and I rolled down the window. "What?"

"You say you watched your uncle wiggle the connecty bits?"

Jesus fucking H. Christ. I got out and joined him at the front of the car. At least I knew what the battery looked like, unlike my dumbass boyfriend. I touched the connections tentatively at first. I didn't know if it was possible to get a shock from them or not. When nothing happened, I gave them both a wiggle, turning them first one way, then the other. "Okay. Give that a go."

I expected Jasper to get back in the car and try starting it again, but he didn't move, so I turned and looked at him expectantly. "What's the hold-up?"

He had this half-smile on his face. "That was hot."

"What?"

"You. Bent over with your head in the engine. Hot as fuck."

I laughed. "You're horny again? You're so bad."

He took the half step between us and pushed me up against the car. "You're just as bad." He shoved his hand between my legs, and sure enough, I was getting hard again. The way his fingers wrapped around my cock through my jeans only made me harder. "I bet you'd look even hotter if you really knew what you were doing. All dirty and covered in grease and shit."

I sighed. "Pity I don't, then, huh?" I turned back to the engine and tried to make sense of it, wishing I did know how it all worked. I placed my hand on the radiator cap. "That's where the water goes. I know that much. I fucking hope you do, too, man, or this car won't last you long."

He let out a little groan, and pushed up against my ass. "What else do you know?"

Holy shit. This was really turning him on. I pulled up the dipstick and wiped the muck off the end with my fingers, then wiped my hand on my jeans. I replaced the stick and pulled it up again, holding it up to the light. "The oil's fine," I murmured. I figured his dad must have been checking it for him.

"Jesus, Edward..." He was breathing hard. "What else?"

"I don't know anything else..." I was fucking well going to learn though, if my very rudimentary knowledge did this to Jasper.

I could feel how hard he was. It was impossible to miss, the way he was rubbing himself against me. His hands were on my hips; his lips were brushing against my neck, his heavy breaths hot on that place just under my ear. "Pretend..."

The laugh that escaped me was incredulous. "Umm...I think, maybe that thing there is... Yeah, that's the air filter." It looked kinda filtery. "Those are the cylinders. There's pistons inside them that go kinda in and out..." I chuckled.

"Fuck," Jasper gasped, jerking his hips against my ass. "Edward...babe..."

"What, Jas? Suddenly knowing stuff about how the car works is interesting? Maybe if you'd thought about that before, we wouldn't be stuck out here, huh?"

"Fuck that. I'm glad the car wouldn't start." He reached around and started undoing my jeans.

"Hang on," I protested, but weakly. "We're supposed to be trying to get home."

"Worry about that later." His hand was in my pants, wrapped around my cock. "After I fuck you on the hood of my car."

"Holy shit," I gasped, and my dick throbbed.

"You okay with it?"

"Fuck, yeah."

He groaned. "Okay, baby. Shut the hood."

I did.

We never fucked in the car. Too awkward. Hand-jobs and blow-jobs kept us sated between the times that one or the other of us had the house to ourselves. So this was...unexpected, and because it was spontaneous, it was all the more thrilling.

Jasper disappeared for a few moments, going to the passenger-side door and reaching in through the open window to the glove box. He flashed me a dimpled smirk and placed the lube and a wrapped condom on the hood.

"You deserve a merit badge."

"I'll expect it next time I see you," he said as he resumed his place behind me. He shoved my jeans down past my hips and grabbed one ass cheek in each hand, squeezing. "You'll get one too—your hot mechanic badge."

"I haven't earned it."

"Not yet you haven't." He unzipped his jeans and I felt his dick, hot and hard, the length of it pressed between my cheeks. He rubbed himself against me some more. "Bend over," he instructed.

I did, bracing my hands on the hood and my knees against the bumper, my feet planted a little way apart.

"Jesus, babe, you look fucking good."

"Hurry up," I demanded. "It'd be just our luck that someone'll drive past now."

Jasper laughed. "Makes it kinda more interesting, doesn't it?"

I had to admit that it did, a little. We'd never fucked out in the open before, and it made it that little bit more exciting. Though we were no strangers to the fear of getting caught, it was usually our parents we had to be worried about. The fact that a stranger could drive past and see us made it better somehow.

"Pass the lube, babe."

I did, and listened to the snap of the lid and the liquid noises as he spread the stuff on his fingers.

"Here, hold this."

I took it from him and held it carefully as he probed my ass with first one, then two fingers, stretching me slowly as I made little grunting noises and low moans and started pushing back against him.

"Now, babe, please," I begged, when I could stand it no longer. I lifted the condom from the hood and passed it back to him, watching over my shoulder as he tore open the wrapper and rolled it down over his cock.

He took the lube from me, spreading more of it over his dick. It made wet smacking noises as he stroked himself a few times. I got impatient, and wiggled my bare ass around to get his attention.

He chuckled, and I felt the blunt nudge of his cockhead against my hole. "This what you want?" he whispered in my ear as he pushed forward.

"Fuck...oh, fuck, yeah..." I let out a loud grunt as he slipped past the tightest part of me.

He stopped. "You okay?"

I nodded. "God, yeah. Now fuck me. Hard. On your car."

That seemed to excite him, because he pushed me down so I was flush with the hood, the cold metal feeling strange against my hard cock. I didn't care. His palms were flat on the hood, each side of me, and he began to thrust, slow at first, but he gradually built up speed and force until the car began to rock beneath us.

I hoped like hell that the emergency brake was on.

He stopped suddenly, falling hard onto my back and panting heavily. "Shit, gonna come—"

Not yet you don't, buddy. "Chill, babe," I whispered. I tried to relax as much as possible. Any clenching on my part was likely to send him over the edge.

He nodded, and a small whimper escaped his lips. "Sorry. It's just...fuck. On the car...so fucking tight..." He groaned in my ear and his cock moved inside me. "Oh Jesus..." He started taking deep noisy breaths through his nose, calming himself, I knew. Then he pushed himself up, leaving his cock still deep inside me.

"You okay, babe?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah. You're too hot for your own good, you know that?" He pulled out almost all the way and thrust back in, but slower than before, and I could tell that he was doing this for me, concentrating on making it good for me now.

It was fucking good, real fucking good, but I was never gonna come this way, with my dick trapped between me and cold flat steel, so I got some leverage and tried to push up so I could get my hand in there to jack myself.

Jasper had other ideas. He pushed me back down, one hand between my shoulder blades.

"I wanna come," I whined.

"Shh...I'll make you come." He changed his angle, thrust a few times, changed it again and got lucky.

My short fingernails screeched against the paint as I tried and failed to hold myself together. "Don't stop...don't stop...fuck...don't stop," I grunted between thrusts as Jasper made me lose it completely.

My whole body seemed to tighten, to clench up, and my forehead hit the hood. Then I exploded, my cock twitching and pulsing as hot come spread out beneath me, warming my skin against the chilled metal of Jasper's car.

"Fuck, yeah," he groaned, his fingers digging deep into my hips as he hung on to my shuddering body, still thrusting, then he made that noise, that drawn out groaning grunt that he always made when he was coming and he pushed in again, hard, and the car moved beneath us.

I felt Jasper, hot and sweaty and heavy against my back. He was breathing hard, as hard as me as I lay on the car, my cheek pressed to the hood. "Holy fuck, Jas," I managed to gasp. My throat hurt.

"Mmm. Yeah." He groaned as he lifted himself off me, and pulled out of me. He helped me up, tugging my boxers and jeans up to cover my ass.

I should have taken off my shirt. "Yuck." The bottom half of the front was covered in come. As was the hood of the car. I pulled off the shirt and cleaned myself up with it, then wiped the hood down. "You're gonna have to wash your car."

"Totally worth it. I have a hoodie in the back seat you can put on."

We got back in the car, and I grabbed his hoodie. It smelled like him and made me smile stupidly.

It wasn't until we were a half-mile down the road that either of us realised that the car had started.