At the end of saviour, and in the following episodes I was extremely disappointed to not find out what happened with the baby.. there was no answers, no hints not even recognization of what happened. So I wrote a fic to, at least in my head, have an ending to the storyline.
And then A level exams happened... and then my sister's wedding happened... and then dogsitting for my sister while she honeymooned happened...
So now I'm finally posting it =]
Title: Saviour
Fandom: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I own the original butchbenson and Alex Cabot... that's why they aren't on the show anymore.
A/N: A HUGE HUGE big thank you to brittanyshadows for being my beta, couldn't of done this without you. Also I would like to point out that this is my first smut piece so go easy on me please =P
Awakened by a loud knock on her door, Alex stumbled out of her bedroom, accidently hitting her arm on the doorframe.
"Ouch…" She muttered as she rubbed her arm and shuffled along her cool hardwood floors to the offending sound. "This had better be damn good!" She opened her front door only to find Olivia Benson leaning with one hand in her pocket, the other on the doorframe, and an arrogant smirk on her lips.
Olivia's dark eyes focused in on Alex, making her suddenly aware that she was only wearing a tight tank top and tiny boy shorts, having more creamy skin on display than covered up. Before Alex could ask why she was there, Olivia launched herself at the half asleep, half-dressed blonde.
The kiss was forceful, giving Alex no option to do anything but to return the kiss. Not that she really wanted to do anything else. Alex could taste scotch on her tongue, while momentarily concerned why Olivia was drinking hard liquor, she was overwhelmed by the fact that scotch had never tasted so good.
Olivia roughly grabbed Alex's hips and backed her into the apartment, her fingers leaving perfect purple bruises. Alex moaned into her mouth, the vibrations sending a shiver down Olivia's spine. The detective kicked the door shut behind her, the sound of it slamming shut made the two women tear apart. Both were gasping for breath with their mouths barely an inch apart.
"Liv?"
"Shhh…" Olivia ended her reply with another demanding kiss, which Alex readily reciprocated. Olivia's hands moved from the curve of her hips to the perfect swell of her ass. She squeezed hard pulling the blonde against her, pressing their hips together tightly. Alex, determined not to have idle hands, wove her fingers into Olivia's hair, pulling at the tresses slightly.
Olivia was not content just making out by the front door with the attractive lawyer. She needed Alex on a bed, and she needed it right now. Olivia started pushing Alex towards her bedroom, all but throwing her onto the bed once they entered.
Alex bounced slightly on the mattress and hardly had time to recover before Olivia was on all fours over her. The knee pressed tight against her crotch creating a teasing pressure. Olivia was overloaded with the smell of Alex; her fruity shampoo, the tangy scent of her arousal and her own personal scent which the detective couldn't get enough of.
Alex's brain, which hadn't quite caught up with her body, suddenly registered the fact that Detective Olivia Benson was on top of her, in her apartment, about to have sex with her.
"Olivia? Wha-?" Her question was cut off with another firm kiss from the detective.
Alex couldn't, in good conscience, let her continue without some form of an explanation. While their relationship would certainly be considered a close one, nothing like this had ever happened. A few heated kisses here and there after walking each other home at the end of a few beers, but it had never gone any further by some unspoken agreement. And it was definitely nothing that either acknowledged as anything other than two co-workers letting off some steam. Although Alex must confess, in the quiet of her empty apartment, she had hoped that there was something more there. Not that she would ever verbalize such a thing.
Alex placed both hands on Olivia's strong shoulders and gave her a gentle push, then a harder one as Olivia ignored her and carried on licking her way down her neck. Alex fought a shudder and tried to control herself.
"Olivia?... Olivia!" Alex was insistent and with a shove, Olivia finally got the hint and stopped her oh-so-delightful ministrations. "Are you okay?"
"I was until you stopped me." Olivia gave her a crooked grin. Her eyes while at first glance were full of lust, held something else Alex recognized but couldn't place.
"You know what I mean, this isn't like you."
"Counselor," she pressed a kiss to her exposed collar bone "how would you know," kiss to her throat "if this is like me," kiss behind her ear "having sex," kiss to her jaw line "or not?" she kissed her on the mouth, sucking and nibbling on Alex's bottom lip.
Alex made an incoherent noise which was lost in Olivia's mouth.
"Now… why don't we fuck now and ask questions later… that's assuming you're able to speak once I'm done with you."
Alex opened her mouth to reply when Olivia bit into her shoulder lightly; any response that Alex may or may not have had was lost in the back of her throat and replaced by a strangled moan when Liv bit down harder. Olivia's hands were under her top and stroking over her stomach roughly, heading higher and higher. Then she was kneading soft breasts, tweaking the hardening flesh of her nipples. Alex made another noise in her throat and Olivia tugged on the hem of her tank top.
"Off." She demanded. Alex didn't need to be asked twice, she lifted her upper body up as much as she could with the brunette on top of her. Somehow between them they managed to rid themselves of the shirt and tank top. Olivia's dark purple bra was soon to follow, and as their bare chests touched for the first time, both simultaneously groaned and sighed in pleasure.
Alex suddenly felt a little embarrassed, she had never been comfortable being undressed around anyone else, let alone the women she was secretly (although now not so secretly), crushing on. She moved her hands to cover her small pert breasts. Olivia took her hands by the wrists and moved them over her head. Alex tried to resist, but the brunette was stronger. She was pinned, exposed and vulnerable.
"I want to see you." Olivia said it in such a deep husky voice that Alex's sex throbbed. She was looking directly into her eyes and, seeing the soft look in them, Alex's nervousness ebbed away.
Olivia looked down at the porcelain skin of Alex's bare torso, from the dusky pink of her tight nipples to the cute dent of her belly button. She wanted to mark the perfect skin somehow, to make sure Alex couldn't forget about her for a few days.
"Keep these here." She said, letting go of her pale wrists.
Olivia started behind her ear, remembering from earlier that her neck was sensitive; she placed wet open mouthed kisses and occasionally licked her pale skin. The air cooled the wet trail and the blonde shivered at the contrast of Olivia's hot mouth and the cold air of her apartment.
Olivia was at the base of her throat when she decided that it would be a good place to leave a mark. She took the skin in her mouth, sucking as hard as she could, hearing Alex gasp slightly above her head. Eventually she let the skin go, lips turning into a crooked grin at the dark purple mark she left.
Olivia didn't hover long, she kissed down her sternum until she reached the blondes firm breasts; she circled her nipple with her tongue before taking it in her mouth and sucking hard. Alex writhed underneath her, pressing her crotch further into Olivia's knee, making the most delicious noises while doing so.
Olivia stroked down her sides, making her way to remove Alex's boy shorts and bit on down on her nipple, eliciting a louder moan above her head. Alex ignored Olivia's direct order and shoved her hands into the brunette's hair, holding her tightly in place.
Reluctantly, Olivia detached herself from the blonde's breast to tug at the soaked scrap of her underwear. Alex lifted her hips off the mattress so Olivia could pull the shorts all the way down her toned legs, throwing them somewhere behind her. Olivia stroked back up her long legs kissing, licking and nipping at random points. Once she reached her core, she stroked down and then up the inside of her soft thighs, almost tickling the writhing woman beneath her. Olivia's head was in line with her belly button so she traced the outside of the dimple with her tongue and began to teasingly nibble on the firm flesh of her abdomen, all the while rubbing her hands teasingly up and down Alex's inner thighs.
Alex was getting restless; she tugged on Olivia's hair to get her attention.
"Up here…"
Olivia raised her head and moved upwards to catch her lips in a breath taking kiss. They broke apart and, Alex tired of sitting back and doing nothing, scratched down her back to grope her jean clad ass. She tugged on the belt loops, "You're wearing too many clothes detective," she whispered in her ear, nipping at her earlobe, "Take these off."
Olivia, about to argue that she was in control here, saw the sense in Alex's words and immediately took off her jeans and panties. She was back on top of her in no time, resuming her exploration of the blonde's slender thighs this time with her mouth. She could smell Alex's arousal and licked her lips in anticipation. Before that though, Olivia felt the lily-white expanse of thigh in front of her was another excellent spot to mark the attorney, so she bit down on the sensitive flesh, hard enough- but not too hard. Alex gasped and writhed beneath her, her name falling from her lips.
"Liv… stop teasing me… I want you."
She felt her grinning against her skin, then kiss the spot she had just marked, then place another kiss closer to her throbbing core.
"Olivi-aaaaaah!" The detective licked her from bottom to top. Alex let out another groan as she did it again, applying more pressure. Olivia set to work in earnest, lapping at the blonde's pussy. Feeling smug at the amount of wetness she found and loving the tangy taste of it against her tongue. She stoked one finger down her soft folds before slipping it into her, hearing Alex moan in response. Olivia added a second finger as she thrust into her again.
She continued fucking the blonde with her fingers, and raised her head to look at the woman under her; skin flushed, lips red and full, the sheet in her white-knuckled grip. Smirking as she moved up her body, Olivia felt that the attorney's side could do with a bite mark. She bit down into the flesh while curling her fingers inside the other woman who let out a slight scream at the dual sensations of pleasure and pain.
Olivia continued upwards, her thrusts getting harder and deeper. She latched on to her nipple again, suckling as hard as she could while moving her fingers harsh and fast, loving how Alex's hips were rocking; creating a counter rhythm, taking her further, deeper, faster. She released her nipple, blowing on it to make Alex shudder and moan. Alex's breathing was heavy with each gasp ending on a whimper, Olivia picked up the pace, furiously fucking the blonde. Alex's hands let go of the sheet and gripped Olivia's back instead, just fingertips at first, then with her nails as she felt her orgasm coil low in her belly. The brunette was nipping at her neck again, provoking louder whimpers and moans, which may have been her name, commands or pleas, but they were unintelligible. Olivia then pressed her thumb to her pulsating clit as she bit down hard on Alex's neck. It wasn't long before she came.
And she came hard.
She called out Olivia's name while digging in her nails hard enough to leave crescent shaped marks for a few days.
Panting heavily, it took a while for Alex to come down and become aware of her surroundings. When she did, Olivia was nuzzling at the bite mark on her neck and stroking her outer thighs. Alex nibbled on her ear and lightly scratched her hand down the detective's flank to the soft curve of her hips, where she moved inwards to her belly button then down, cupping the other woman's sex, gasping at how wet she was. Olivia's back stiffened and Alex flipped them over so she was on her back.
Alex entered her easily with two fingers and both women let out a deep groan at the contact. Moving slow at first then at a steady rhythm, Alex licked then sucked on Olivia's hard nipple. Olivia wove her fingers into the woman's long blonde hair, gripping tightly as Alex curled her fingers into her.
"Yes, harder…" Olivia gasped.
The A.D.A complied and thrust her fingers harder, shivering at the moan that escaped the other woman's throat, feeling it reverberate through her chest. Letting the nipple slip from her mouth and beginning an exploration of the other woman's neck, she sought out her weak points, continually moving hard and fast inside of her. Alex nipped on the tight skin, loving how Olivia scratched down her back and whimpered. Her breathing was erratic and she could feel her orgasm building, but she knew she needed more than what the blonde was giving her.
"More… need… more Lex." Alex, understanding what she wanted, added a third finger, thrusting hard while using her thumb to flick over her clit.
"Ungh… yes… right… fuck! Just… like… that!" Olivia bucked her hips wildly up to meet Alex's hand, each heavy pant ending in a nonsensical word. Her fingers scratched down her back, hard enough to draw blood and leaving even more marks. Moments later the detective arched off the bed, head thrown back, and a long indescribable sound escaping her throat, ending in the attorney's name. Alex continued to move within her until the last of the tremors subsided.
She removed her hand and wiped it on the bed sheet, before flopping beside the brunette who was still panting slightly. Once her breathing and heart rate were under control, Olivia rolled onto her front, propping herself on her elbows while pressing her forehead into the overstuffed pillow.
There was a silence enveloping the room- neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Just silence; as if each was unaware of the other, lost in thought. Then the point came, the one they had both hoped would and wouldn't come. Alex rolled on to her side, wincing slightly at the unexpected pain of moving her muscles. She faced Olivia, trying to figure out what exactly had made her pounce on her at her apartment. She knew something was wrong with her; the conversation with Elliot over the phone that afternoon came back to her. He had just said that Olivia had been made power of attorney to Gladys' daughter and knew nothing more than that. In retrospect, she honestly didn't really understand why Elliot had even told her. Wouldn't Olivia be at the hospital if that's where the baby was?
"Liv? What's going on?"
Olivia lifted her head, turning it to look at Alex. While momentarily amused at her mussed hair, and the quite evident bite mark on her neck, Olivia's mood was quickly squashed when she remembered exactly why she was here.
The need to feel something other than guilt.
"What do you know?" She didn't need to ask what about.
"Only that you are power of attorney for Gladys' daughter."
"Was…" Olivia looked down at her folded hands in front of her, her face blank.
"Sorry?"
"I was her power of attorney… she… she died."
"Oh… Liv." Alex didn't know what to say, she wanted more details but she also didn't want to interrogate her. She stroked down her spine in, what she hoped, was soothing manner. "I'm sorry Liv."
"I killed her." Alex's hand faltered in its rhythm, Olivia's statement confusing her.
"What do you mean by that?"
Olivia's gaze turned to the pillow, and she took a deep breath. "When I got to the hospital, her brain was bleeding and… I had to make a decision right there, on the spot. If I decided against surgery- she would die. If I chose the surgery- she could have irreparable brain damage."
Alex held her breath. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how to make a decision like that and her heart immediately ached for Olivia for having to.
"I chose to do the surgery. She got through it…but…" She took in a shaky breath, holding in her tears. "The damage to her brain was… it was too much. She wouldn't have been able to do anything on her own. There's no coming back from that kind of damage." A lone tear escaped her eye and made its track down her cheek. "So when she coded again… I-I…" Olivia choked back a sob, the guilt almost consuming her. "I told them not to resuscitate… and she just… stopped. Breathing…living… being." Olivia's shoulders shook as the sobs finally wracked her body.
Alex lay there in a slight shock at what Olivia had just shared. She couldn't begin to understand what she must be going through, what she had already been through. But she knew Olivia did what she did out of love for the child, to spare her the agony that she would have had to live in, assuming she had even lived.
"Liv, Sweetie, you did the right thing." She stroked down her spine again, applying more pressure when Olivia cried harder. "You took away her pain. You made sure she wouldn't have lived in constant agony for years."
"Then why do I feel so shitty about it?" Olivia had yet to look anywhere but at the pillow in front of her.
"Because…" Alex held her chin lightly, forcing eye contact. "The death of a child, under any circumstance, is a tragedy." Alex felt tears welling in her own eyes at the broken look that Olivia was giving her. They held each other's gaze for a few moments before Olivia sighed and inclined her head in the barest of nods, fat tears still streaming down her red cheeks.
"Fuck… What do I say to Gladys?" She choked on another sob, "She left her in my care, and… I make the decision to let her die?" She ran a shaking hand through her hair, "I don't think that's what guardians are supposed to do…"
"Liv, honey, you tell her exactly what you just told me. She will understand, you saved that little girl from having to live a horrid life… You did precisely what guardians are supposed to do, put the child first. You were her savior."
She let her words sink in and she could see the torn woman start to pull together. Something inside of her always hurt when Olivia was upset, but seeing her like this; it was like someone had stabbed her in the chest.
"Come here." Alex rolled on to her back and outstretched her arm, motioning for the other woman to lie on her. Olivia scooted across the bed to be enveloped in Alex's comforting embrace. She pulled the covers over them both, moaning quietly at the contrast of a warm body underneath her and the cold sheet over her. She put her arm over Alex's stomach, now sporting various marks and bruises, and pulled her close, seeking her quiet comfort and support.
The blonde quickly fell asleep, their previous activities and the fact that it was nearing 3AM, conspiring to wear her out. The brunette, however, stayed awake for a while longer. More tears came, but these were of grief instead of guilt. They slipped silently down her cheeks and onto the soft skin of her bedmate. She tried to wipe them off her skin, but soon gave up as more and more fell.
Olivia looked up at the softly snoring woman, wondering what she would of done if she hadn't of talked some sense into her. She couldn't have gone to Elliot after their earlier disagreement, and even if she could he wouldn't have been able to calm her like Alex had.
You were her Savior, she had said.
"You are my Savior." She whispered in to the dark, before falling into her own much awaited slumber.