A/N: So. There is this song in my mind, and I only can think about Addek when I hear it. Honesty(Write me a list), by Rodney Atkins. And so I wrote this. Oh, and I'm aware of the fact that Derek doesn't know yet that Mark and Addison stayed together, when they divorce, but I wanted to put it in here, to make in more complete. Enjoy!
"Hello Addison." Derek gave her a fake smile as he joined her at the cafeteria's table, alone. She was waiting for Callie to arrive, and in the meanwhile she was slowly eating a sandwich and reading a magazine.
"H-hi." she said visibly surprised. "How was your morning?" she asked, as everyday.
"Good, it was good. Look, I need to talk to you about something." he looked her in the eyes. "Would you go out to dinner with me, tonight?"
"Yes." her bright smile grew bigger at his words. "Absolutely yes! Where?"
"I'll meet you in the lobby at 8. Be ready!" he told her as he stood up and made his way to the exit.
Addison smiled, deciding to play the happy-wife part, and continued to read the magazine, still waiting for her friend to come.
xxx
"Thank you for coming." Derek said, as he sat in front of her in the Italian restaurant.
"Derek..." she laughed: in her mind he was acting weird and stupidly, and she couldn't understand what he wanted or expected from her.
"Er... I'll have some salad, and then ravioli." he said to the waiter.
"I'll have the same, but with some fries too." she smiled.
"Here." he handed her a pen, his favorite one, and a white piece of paper.
"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
There was some kind of voice, in her head, advising her of what was going to happen, but she was so confused and wrong-footed that she didn't care about it.
"Write me a list." he said in that serious voice that she hated. "A list of what you think you should have after the divorce." he added, breaking another piece of her heart.
"Because, let's face it, Addison, we're not working anymore."
We're working, she wanted to scream. You're just not fighting hard enough. You're giving up.
"Addison." he sighed; he wanted her to do it now, so that it could be over. Done. Finished.
"Fine." she made a grimace and took the pen.
She thought for a moment, and she wrote:
- the house in the Hamptons
- the table and chairs in Manhattan's house's dining room
- the plates and cutlery
- your wedding ring as well as mine
- all the photographs and my movies
She looked at what she had written, and sighed. She bit her lip and canceled everything with a doodle.
This time she smiled softly and wrote:
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness, trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, more for the two of us. Kisses each morning, I love you's at night. Just like it used to be. The way life was when you were in love with me.
She smiled again, and added:
That's what I wish I could have, Derek.
She folded the little piece of paper, and gave it to him.
Derek pretended he was indifferent; he wanted to look at it at home; but the peaceful look she had made him wonder what was written in there. Did she suddenly decided that he wasn't worth it?
He glanced briefly at the paper, and then opened it. She looked away.
Oh. Crap.
He swallowed. All his efforts to forget her were gone to hell.
Memories invaded his mind, freezing him, like fresh water.
The first kiss. The umbrellas shared when it poured, their bodies close in the rain.
The ring and the wedding. How she was beautiful that day.
The things he had told her, because he only trusted her and Mark to know his secrets.
Mark,
and the night they had spent together.
He caught 'em.
They stayed together, after that.
Oh, that hurt.
The waiter placed their meal on the table, and Addison started to eat, still avoiding to look at him. Derek kept staring at the words black as ink.
"Honesty?" he finally was able to ask, still reluctantly. She nodded.
"Sincerity?"
"Love." she merely answered, captivating their eyes in a significant eye contact.
"Just love." he mumbled with bitterness.