They are very few fanfictions where you can see Jack and Tali interact whereas they live on the same level of the ship so i wrote this.
It's my first fanfiction in shakespeare tongue so if something is inccorect don't hesitate to tell me.
She couldn't believe she was seeking wooing advices from this person from all of people, but who else can she ask? Miranda wasn't especially his friend since she work for Cerberus, Samara and Dr Chakwas were ou of the game one for years the other for centuries, Kelly... well she was a nice girl and surely have interspecies experience, but she prefers to keep this private and the yeoman wasn't really a discrete person, at last Jack barely talk to anyone so his secret will be safe.
She knocks politely to the door but since she didn't get any answer, she gets in cautiously.
- Excuse me Jack are you there?
She promptly hears a serie of curses, as the woman emmerges from the shadows glowing.
- Holly fucking crap who dare to disturb me during my nap, I swear Donnely if you'r try to peeping again I will tear you apart.
She promptly raise her hands in sign of reassurance.
- No, no Jack, it's just me, Tali.
- The quarian? She lows her mass effect field. What the hell you're doing here?
She starts fidgeting nervously.
- Well I was thinking…I mean I thought that maybe, you know…
- Cut the crap. Stop beating around the bush and tell me what the hell do you want.
Keelah Iit was definitly a bad idea to ask for her help.
- Nothing, my mistake, I apologize wor disturbing you, i will leave you alone.
- Not even in your dream girl, I you came here, you surely have a fucking good reason, i'm curious and since you interrupt my sleep you own me, so tell me what's your problem ?
Embarassed, she looks her foots playing with her fingers.
- Well you know that i and Shepard care for each other so I wanted to know, since you probably have experience in that topic... well maybe you could give me advices about...how to make undertstand him that i would like... "link suits "with him. She let's escape the last words almost inaudibly.
Raising her head, she saw that Jack was grinning.
- So the little engineer want to play "hide the sausage" with the dashing commander, and i always thought you were a prude, who could believe ther was such dirty thoughts behind this mask what a naughty girl you are miss Zorah.
Tali was now mortified, her cheeks were litteraly burning under her visor.
- Will you help me or not?
- Hum let me think... Yeah ok, i will teach you the way to get the commander in your bed, listen to me and soon Shepard will "gets in your suit"
- Thanks Jack.
- OK first you must always remember that seducing is like hunting,
- Like hunting ?
- Yep, you're the predator he is your prey that's all about dominance. First, the clothes… She give a look to the quarian suits. Ok forget what i just says and let's skip this part.
So first point you have to isolate him, make sure that he's alone and that anyone will disturb you, then you must caught his attention, your voice must be lascivious, he has to fell you're not here for a fucking talk that's is serious business.
Second point: the gaze, your look right in his, never let his eyes escape yours, , then you walk toward him, slowly but surely, you must corner him so he has no way to escape,
Suiting the action to the word she begans to walk in her direction and shoved Tali into the wall pressing herself against the young quarian barring the exits with her arms.
- Lock him with your body, your hips against hims, if you fell something hard, it's that's you're doing a great job.
It was a very awkward situation, she could fell the inmate tits against her chest.
- Jack can you please stop ? It's a little embarassing.
But the inmate skips her protestations and keeps doing.
- And then the knockout, you immobilise him like this...
Tali let out a little cry of surprise when she fells Jack grabbing her ass.
- And you push him against the wall, better if there is a table or a bed, you tear his clothes appart, and then when he's at your mercy, defenseless...
- ye-yes? What do i do?
She leans forward and murmurs at his ear with a husky voice:
- You ravish him!
- I WHAT !
- Well you know all of it. Says Jack releasing her. Now it's all on you lass, so get out of my place before i get pissed.
Tali leaves the ex-convict quarters shamefaced, Jack was making fun of her since the beginning... Wasn't she? Maybe it was worth to give it a try.
Some hours later
Shepard was in his quarters reading some paperwork when he ears a voice which send shivers in his back.
- Hum Shepard ? I take antibiotics and some herbal supplements...