Basic Disclaimer:

1. I don't own Glee.

Notes: Written for the drabble meme over at the LivejournalPR community. Obviously, this turned out to be significantly longer than would fit in one comment because I'm excessively verbose like that. The prompt was just too amazing to pass up. Un-beta'd.

Warnings: Adult themes. Puck's dirty mouth. Minors having sex.

Spoilers: Season 01

The Boy Likes Someone

Not secret? Rachel and Noah have known each other forever. As in: they remember what the other looked like in pampers.

Secret? Rachel has always had a crush on him. She's not proud of it. When he started throwing slushies in her face, she thought she'd get over it but it turns out that spending significant holidays in his company and knowing the boy he was outside of McKinley made the whole moving on thing a lot harder than she expected. She thought Finn might finally be the one to completely steal her attention from Noah but, well, Quinn existed.

Speaking of Quinn, Rachel's shock at the whole Babygate thing? It's more shock that she hadn't seen it before. It's not even her psychic powers that fail her; it's her awareness of Noah that's off.

Because she's always paid so much attention to him, Rachel has always known when Noah likes a girl. She knew when he had his first crush on Melissa Adler in kindergarten because he spent so much time hanging around their table, grabbing at stuff and passing the things Rachel wanted to use across to the other girl. Rachel remembers crying over how mean he was to her while Melissa made him ugly Valentine's Day cards.

Melissa wound up being Noah's first kiss under the jungle gym. She was also the first girl to suffer Noah's womanizing ways because as soon as it was over, he'd pushed her into the sand and ran over to annoy Rachel again.

(A week later, he stopped Rachel's swing during recess and kissed her. Melissa started crying across the playground.)

Noah's first official girlfriend lasted all of one weekend. Rachel knew he liked Andie Lawson the minute she walked into their sixth grade class room. Andie Lawson had something Rachel was only just beginning to hope for: real breasts. Noah had stared for much longer than was appropriate and then leaned over Rachel's desk (and Rachel) to share his thoughts on "that amazing rack" with Mike.

Noah and Andie went to the movies that Friday. Noah spent most of Saturday night on his cell phone in Rachel's bedroom recounting how awesome it was to make out and touch Andie's breasts in the darkness of the back row while their parents drank wine downstairs. Rachel was not amused.

By Monday, Andie found out that Noah had told the boys what she'd let him do and was devastated. She would not be the last girl it happened to. When she broke things off very publicly, Noah simply shrugged and walked back to his seat. Rachel's stare was burning a hole into the side of his head so he turned and leaned over her to play a period-long game with Mike. She hated that he felt the need to squish her under his weight all the time. It was like he didn't even know she was there.

(The next weekend, Noah and Rachel went to the movies because their parents needed them to be occupied for a few hours. Halfway through the film, one of them leaned in. They spent the rest of movie wrapped up in each other. Rachel didn't let Noah touch her breasts because she didn't feel like she had anything for him to touch. He's never said anything about it to anyone ever.)

When Noah lost his virginity, Rachel was the first person to know (apart from Kristina Hunt, who took it). He'd been after the redhead for months. Rachel had been trying to stop watching Noah because he had been making it explicitly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her in public. Rachel knew though, always knew, when someone—when a girl—became important to Noah. She could always tell when he liked someone.

He genuinely liked Kristina. He spent weeks wooing her in the way that boys like Noah woo girls. He paid special attention to her, always came to the choir's cafeteria table and spent most of his time talking to her while stealing carrots out of Rachel's lunch. When he finally asked Kristina out, Rachel was still a little surprised that the girl agreed. She was a year older than the both of them and while Rachel thought Noah was the most handsome boy she had ever seen, he'd recently gone through a growth spurt that left him a little on the wrong side of gangly.

The night of the date, Rachel was busy organizing her iTunes library when she heard the tapping. Noah was in the tree outside her window and she stared at him until he smacked his palm flat against the glass. She jumped. When his feet were flat on her carpet, she looked him over and realised he was still obviously wearing what he'd worn on his date. She also realised that there's something innately changed about him. She spotted the lipstick stain on the hem of his white shirt and it hit her. She didn't understand why he was there; in her room, in her house, when he'd just had sex for the first time in his life.

She wanted to say something but no words came. Rachel couldn't read his face at all. Finally, he shook his head and said he needed to use her shower. She let him use her private bathroom and padded to the guestroom to pull some of his clothes from the dresser. She handed them to him around the door and stared blankly at her screen until he sat on her bed.

They were quiet until his cell phone rang. He told his mom he was staying at Finn's then flopped back onto her pillows.

(He spent the night curled around her, fully clothed, and Rachel had no idea what to make of it. In the morning, he was gone before she got out of the shower. Her fathers had no idea he'd been there.)

Noah didn't like Santana, per se. Rachel had no idea how he'd even wound up in a relationship with the bitch but by then he was more Puck. It was definitely Puck who threw slushies in her face. Rachel dislikes Puck immensely.

Then, while she's focusing on Finn, Puck asks her to work on mash-up ideas. Puck kisses the breath from her; Noah serenades her. Noah chooses her over football and Noah is the one she catches watching Quinn. She doesn't connect the dots then but she lets him go because she thinks he deserves a chance to get what he wants. She wouldn't mind having him but she's convinced herself she wants something else. He's not happy about her dumping him but she knows his pride will recover.

When she finally sees the big picture, she could kick herself.

In their third year of college, their third year in New York City, Noah hands Rachel a bottle of green apple Smirnoff and gets comfy beside on her couch. They're friends now and it's comforting but it's tense too. There's always that attraction between them and Rachel is especially aware of the fact that she's never stopped crushing on the boy—man—next to her.

He mentions the project he's working on for one of the classes they share—they're in separate groups so they've got different deadlines—and he complains about how much of a nag some girl named Donna is. He says thank god she has a smoking body or no one would be able to stand her.

"Just admit you like her, Noah," Rachel says.

He looks at her like she's insane. She's used to it.

"I know you, Noah. You'll admire her body for a while, charm her until she stops doing anything but smiling at you and then you'll ask her out. It's been your MO since we were children."

He smirks around his beer bottle, "Damn right, I'm charming. Glad you finally admit it."

Rachel shakes her head. "I've never denied it."

He splutters. "Never denied it? I tried everything I know on you, Rach. Nothing worked. I brought it all, the guns, the big guns. I sang for you, Rachel."

She tries to keep her heart rate normal. She needs to be able to hear above its pounding. He doesn't mean what she hopes he does because she had her chance and blew it. They're just talking memories now.

"You sang for Quinn and Mercedes too, Noah."

He scoffs. "I sang for Beth," he emphasizes. "And I sang Lady is a Tramp to Mercedes. I sang Sweet Caroline to you."

She doesn't know where this conversation is going but she's going to follow it through. She's a little tipsy and more than a little brave.

"Noah, we hated each other as children. Well, you hated me."

He turns fully toward her. There's a shift in the tension between them and it feels even more acute when he sets his beer down on her coffee table. "Where the fuck'd you get that idea?"

"I always knew when you liked someone, Noah. It was an...unfortunate side effect of my own... ill-advised crush."

His smirk borders on a grin. "I always knew you liked me, Rach."

She can't keep the sarcasm out of her voice when she asks, "What gave it away?"

(She knows she was painfully obvious. She resists the urge to cringe as she thinks about it)

"I wasn't sure until the crazy-hot make out session during The Pink Panther," he replies.

She blushes at the memory.

"When did it start?" he asks.

She leans over to place her bottle next to his then faces him. "When did what start?"

He rolls his eyes. "Your crush, Rach. Keep up."

"I can't remember," she confesses. He opens his mouth to reprimand her for dodging but she talks over him. "I can't remember ever not having a crush on you, Noah."

That brings the silence. After a moment, Rachel feels awkward because he's staring at her and she's determined not to look at him again until she's sure she won't blush. When she gets tired of him not saying anything, she breathes a heavy sigh and starts to twist around saying, "Anyway, it's not like it matters. You—"

"I fell in love with you before I could read, Rachel."

She swears her heart stops. She can't even look at him because she can feel embarrassing tears welling in her eyes and besides, he said he fell. He didn't say he still was in love with her. He might just—

His hand settles on her arm and the simple contact makes all of her tingle. She feels like she's back in her seat in sixth grade, smothered under all of Noah and struggling to breathe.

"Rach, look at me."

She shakes her head again. "Noah, what are you talking about? I was there for our childhood too. Slushies aside, you never once looked at me when there was another girl around. You gave my stationery to Melissa Adler!"

She doesn't mean to sound as indignant as she does. She blames the alcohol.

Noah laughs then reaches for her face. He turns her to look at him and when their gazes meet, the intensity of his pins hers in place.

"Jesus, I did all that shit to get your attention, Rach. She could have been anybody—she could have been Kurt—it just so happened that she was sitting next to you. You were already all about dance and music and I just wanted you to pay attention to me. Hell, why do you think I pushed her clingy ass off when she kissed me?"

Rachel remembers that incident with a certain degree of smugness. Then her curiosity gets the better of her. He's being truthful; he's talking, so she asks, "What about Andie Lawson?"

He smirks at her and repeats, "She had a great rack for a twelve year old. But, you know, The Pink Panther."

She can't help but smile. Then she asks the one question that's haunted her for years.

"What happened with Kristina Hunt?"

"Damn, do you remember them all?"

She shrugs one shoulder, wondering if she's giving too much away. He knows she had a crush on him. He doesn't need to know that she remembers all this because she's still in love with him. He looks away from her then.

"We fucked. It wasn't...I don't know. The sex was ok but I didn't...I didn't want anything more from her. I didn't even want to talk to her. When it was over...when it was over, all I wanted was you."

She waits for him until he looks at her again.

"I didn't understand it then," he whispers, "I didn't know what I wanted even when I was in your shower."

She thinks she understands—hopes she's interpreting him correctly—but she's still going to ask for something explicit. It's the least he can do given how many of her pink star-tipped markers he gave Melissa Adler.

"What did you want, Noah?"

He searches her face for something and she tries to lay all her emotion bare for him. She doesn't know if he can read her better than she can read him (she hopes he can because she's terrible at it).

"I wanted you, Rachel. I wanted you so much. Too much. I still want you too much."

She drops her eyes and tells him, "Despite the fact that you steal my markers and my lines, Puckerman, you've always had me."

(That night, they both get what they've wanted since forever. They never let it go.)

end

Prompt: It's funny how you can always tell when a boy likes someone else, but you can never tell if he likes you.