My apologies for the wait and the unnecessarily complicated chapter updating. Y U gotta italic every damn thing on here, ?

...Let's just get the ball rolling, shall we?

Ante Mortem

Chapter 16: Saved

Hakuren:

This is a dream.

Because dreams always started out this way.

They take you by the hand, lead you by the heart and crush you by the wing.

Such harsh words. I'd expected to hear them in the edged, sharp monotone of authority that echoed through the cold mansion that was my childhood home. The only voice that was permitted to speak, accompanying the piercing gaze that roved its owner's kingdom of power.

So it surprised me when they were voiced not by my father, but by my sweet angel of a mother. They were voiced in passing, not intended to fall on other human ears.

But I was there. Always by her side, long after the end of everything.

I remembered the day well. It was snowing outside. A brief dusting of Mother Nature's sweet frost, nothing more, but it was enough to rouse a reaction out of me. I lived in the First District, which was close enough to the Seventh District to get the backlash of its terrible desert weather, so it was my first time seeing snow.

I was not allowed outside. I never was. So I had to content myself with sitting on the carpeted floor near the window, close enough that my breath touched the glass and froze to white before my wide, disbelieving eyes.

It was beautiful.

I wondered what the snow smelt like.

Crash!

The sudden noise broke me out of the snow's hypnotic spell, and I looked behind me to see Mother standing near the door.

Her eyes were not as gentle as they had always been. They were wild with a strange, mad fire I'd never seen before. Her hair framed them, falling around them in frantic curls, and her dress, the pale blue one with snow-white frills, was stained with wine on the sleeves and skirt.

"M-mommy?"

Her eyes fell on me, and for a moment my heart stilled.

Rage, open and honest, pure rage. That was what I saw in her eyes.

"Mommy?" I remembered whispering. Tears pricked at my eyes.

Mother blinked and I saw the anger melt away. Her eyes drooped, her face fell and her shoulders sagged.

"Hakuren..." She croaked.

I didn't remember running-or even moving-to her side. I was...there somehow. I just remember the smell of her perfume as I clutched her hands, asking, "Are you ok, Mommy?"

I remember the rustle of fabric as she bent to her knees beside me, and the sparkle of her gold chain in the corner of my eye, suddenly so close as she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Hakuren..."

Over and over she'd whispered my name, her voice becoming more ragged every time she uttered it.

I hugged her back, wishing this feeling of unease would just go away.

It never did, of course. Hah. It never would as long as I'd lived in this cursed household.

And it followed me long after I'd left it.

My wrists pricked and itched, demanding my attention.

Useless thoughts swirled around in my mind, along with my childhood memories, demanding my attention in restless murmurs.

Rusty fatigue scratched away at my mind, clawing at my limbs insistently...but even though my eyes were closed, even though I tried valiantly to empty my mind...restless murmurs clawed at my mind, at my soul, the prickling touch of dread catching at my heart and chest.

I suppose eventually the random thoughts of my mind arranged themselves into something resembling sense. I recognized them as the fragments of another memory; but not a single entity like the one I'd just had of that single snow day, the only one I'd witnessed for as long as I'd lived.

"...The day that my heart broke"

"Was when the loving white took wing"

"And covered the earth with tender care"

"Cold as the heart of my beloved king..."

"Tears fall and I know not"

"Of whence they came or why they appear"

"This sadness I buried long ago"

"Traded for what I thought was fulfilment"

"Resignation"

"And that single, damnable love"

"Seems to show in your eyes for me"

"I've regretted not once the choices I've made"

"But for the sadness I cast upon you"

"I beg, I plead, I implore of thee"

"Walk not in the snow-crusted footsteps"

"Of our icy home"

"Walk where the golden winds blow"

"Walk where the cold chains of pride and power"

"Touch you no more..."

"O Prince of the Kingdom of Ice"

"Will you not walk with me, in the sun?"

"Just this once?"

"..."

It's been a while since I last heard those words. Or even thought about them.

I can't even be sure if they are the right words.

...

A yawn worked its way up and through my mouth, as I slowly sat up, hand-combing my hair.

Tangled and greasy. Ugh.

One of the drawbacks of staying in the medical wing for so long.

"Quit complaining. As I recall, it was your choice to fight, Oak-brat."

My hand stilled.

"Brat. That's rich, coming from where you're standing."

The smirk was more than evident in his voice, even as his face remained blank, "Is it really wise to insult those of higher power when your wounds have only just started healing?"

The things I've been doing lately haven't really been beneficial to my health, have they?

"As I said before, it remains in your choice to do them or not."

"But not in my choice to maintain a little privacy in my head, apparently." I said tiredly, finally looking at him.

Not-Teito shot me a bored glare as he resumed speaking, the echoes of his muttering crystal-clear in my mind, "Privacy is overrated. Whatever action committed by man, its consequences will always affect those around him. There exists no such thing as privacy in the eyes of others. And you are no longer in a state of near-death, and I advise you stop with the name-calling if you want it to remain that way. Unless you want to undergo the needle treatment again..."

"Oh God no." I said immediately, shuddering. My wrists twinge at the mere mention of the abominable operation.

When they had admitted me into the medical wing after the Kor attack, they found out that they couldn't stop my wrists-or anywhere else where the Zaiphon ropes cut my skin-from bleeding. Healing Zaiphons didn't work, and neither did poultices, plant wraps or anything that Bishop Labrador tried. Finally, the Sisters suggested that the only thing to do would be to manually stitch my skin together.

They put me under the anesthetic and started working.

The only problem was, I could still feel everything they did.

Whatever was in those ropes had left my body-they explained later-in a hypersensitive state. And the anesthetic kicked my brain into overdrive when it should have calmed down enough for me to stop registering pain.

"It's an advanced form of torture that the Empire uses to extort information." Bishop Castor informed me quietly, when he came to the hospital wing the next morning, "A mixture of Zaiphon and science that programs the brain to send signals to...keep itself awake, if you will. The victim would be weakened by loss of blood, which would make them slightly numb to pain before they are healed enough for the brain to finally retrieve the blood lost and send the body into a state of hyper-awareness, which makes the victim doubly aware of the pain still in his body. A loop of several hours of continuous and intense pain before several minutes of numbness." His mouth twisted, "An...efficient process for information retrieval, but it was later banned on ethical grounds. In most cases, the victims went mad from the pain and finally, one managed to break free and kill the torturer and some guards." He fell silent, before continuing in a more pleasant tone, "Bishop Labrador will visit you every hour to check on your healing and provide you a continual stream of Zaiphon to counter the hypersensitivity effect. And we will remove the stitches once it has fully faded from your system. Please keep us informed of your condition so we can avoid further complications."

But Teito...Teito was worse off. He lost so much blood even before the Kor started attacking him. And he most certainly would have died without Not-Teito's or the bishops' intervention. That sobering thought sent chills through me, as my mind's eye sifted through the events that happened that day with sickening clarity.

Why?

"The more appropriate question is "who?", son of Oak."

The words were said in a less cocky tone than usual. I looked back up to see his sombre expression, "It's as I had said before. You do not know of my Master's past, the things he did before he came here. My wish was for his days to continue in his new-found peace here at the Church" He shut his eyes, sighing, "but I suppose that was criminally naive of me."

"Did you recognize him? The Kor?"

"Yes. And so had my Master."

I knew that. I could still hear his desperate pleas.

I could still see his expression.

It was much too familiar to me.

I'd never wanted to see that expression on someone I knew ever again. Because I knew all too well what it led to.

"How exactly had Teito known him?"

"He was my Master's friend. And someone my Master cared deeply about." Not-Teito looked away, "He'd cared enough for him to remember him above all else, before he could even remember his name."

"What?"

"My master has amnesia. That you know. But there are different kinds of amnesia, based on the circumstances where one loses his memory."

"...And you think that Mikage-and not the accident in the desert-is the main cause of Teito's memory loss? He somehow saw his friend transform into a Kor?" It's possible that Mikage had attacked him before...or maybe not. The devastated look on Teito's face came to mind again. If he was aware of the fact that Mikage was a Kor before...no, Teito lost his memory so that possibility was still there; he could have known and then lost his memory.

"Did he look normal to you? Like any other Kor you had seen before?"

"...No."

"And you, an acolyte of the Chief of Heaven have made it your life to know about these creatures. So it is safe to assume that we are not looking at a normal occurrence here, is it not?"

"And do you think Teito knew what actually happened? Before he lost his memory?"

"That seems plausible."

"Do you know what he is, then?"

"I have an idea, yes."

...

...

...

"Are you planning on enlightening the rest of us?"

"No, I'm not. I can't."

"You...can't. You can't tell us anything." I repeated.

"You can't tell me anything."

"Why can't you tell me anything?"

" I can't tell anyone anything. Pay attention, mortal. My silence extends to all, not just you."

"Don't consider yourself special."

"Don't consider yourself worthy of my hate."

"Can you at least tell us why you keep your silence?"

"...No."

"I thought as much. Fine then."

He looked mildly surprised, "That is the end of this matter?"

"Unless you have more to tell us, it is." I replied, "What is it?" I asked, as he stared mutely at me.

"Most mortals would not just leave the matter be. Especially if there is a secret they are not allowed to know."

"I'm not like most people."

"You are not them."

"And it seems that you can't tell me, as opposed to simply not wanting to tell me. If you could, you would, I'm sure. You want to protect Teito as much as we do, after all." We know dangerously little about this individual but of this, we can be certain.

How he knows Teito and what he knows about him...that secret shouldn't cost the life we're trying to protect.

It'll come to light, little by little. The truth always does.

"As of this day, your mother is dead."

"You are a strange one. Whoever formed that opinion of you was most certainly on the mark."

"Don't let him hear that." I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. How is Teito doing, anyway?"

"Still sleeping. No," he leaned back tiredly, "I should say that he is attempting to sleep."

"Is he still having nightmares?"

"Yes. Though he refuses to talk about them. More like he tries to hide them from me-...from us."

"Tries?"

"It would be more effective if Master did not talk in his sleep. And since he has not been informed of this, and he does not remember that he does so..." He trailed off, looking to the side.

"Do you...do you watch him sleep or something?"

"No." The reply was much too quick in coming, and there was a tinge of red on his cheeks.

That...would be mildly cute if it wasn't so creepy.

"A-anyway, from what I could tell, Master's nightmares seem to be the same every time. But whatever dream he has is...strong enough to make him cry in his sleep." He murmured this, looking pensive. Something seemed to occur to him and he shot me an accusing look, "Speak not of this to Master, nor tease him of it."

"I wouldn't!" I said, offended, "This is a grave matter and I don't plan on making light of it! What kind of person do you take me for?"

He pressed on and didn't answer.

"The issue of him having nightmares also diminishes the little time he manages to sleep. He suffers from hyper-awareness like you, as you know. But as far as I can tell, he suffers no side-effects from the shut-down his Zaiphon forced his body to undergo."

"He's healing?"

"Slowly, but yes."

"Thank the Chief." I said relieved, "I was so worried."

He looked towards the door.

"Every time. Every single time I try to prove him wrong..."

"Huh?"

He smiled slightly.

And disappeared before my eyes.

He should really stop doing that.

I sank back against the pillows, suddenly feeling tired. Which I probably was; it's not like I'd been sleeping any better than Teito recently. Is this what he felt like all the time? Ugh, I feel somewhat bad for making fun of him now...

I opened my eyes again when I heard footsteps outside.

Click.

"Hakuren?"

I stared.

Speak of the damned Devil.

"You're supposed to be in bed."

"And you're supposed to be asleep." Teito shot back, as he walked in and sat on the same chair his dopple-ganger was in not two seconds ago.

"Do you honestly think I can sleep when it feels like there are thousands of tiny, poisonous needles stabbing every square inch of my skin?"

"That's a bit...it's not that bad." He pointed out, "The morphine is starting to work for you too, isn't it?"

"Excruciatingly slow."

He smiled a bit, "Yeah. That's true. But I think I'm starting to slowly get used to it."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Teito."

"I'm fine! Honest. I'm actually feeling much better."

Liar. Good thing Not-Teito is not as taciturn when it comes to his...master's state of being.

"If you say so. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to visit you. I was worried about how you were doing."

Worried about how I was doing...in his state?!

"You were stabbed in the heart with a piece of glass the size of a flag-pole, cut with ropes that are enchanted to torture you for days on end and psychologically tortured by your best friend and you're asking me how I feel?!"

He stopped smiling when I mentioned Mikage.

Oh.

Well done, Oak brat.

Not-Teito muttered snidely at the back of my head as I fumbled for words, "I...I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"No, you're right. I...I've been through a lot and I..." He swallowed, before looking away and wiping his eyes on his sleeves, "Can we talk for a bit? I really need to talk to someone."

"Alright."

His eyes met mine for a brief second before looking away again.

"I'm sorry."

Can't say I wasn't expecting that.

"You shouldn't be."

"But Hakuren...!"

"Unless you're saying that you were the mastermind behind the entire operation and you could somehow blow up the nigh-impenetrable diamond-hard glass murals, be in two places at once and be fool-hardy enough to stab yourself in the heart with 99.99% chances of death. Even if you were conniving enough to trick us all into thinking you were an innocent, the excuse of memory-loss at the ready for our questions, I don't think you capable of such a..."

I stopped there.

"Hakuren?"

"Never mind. I just know it's not your fault. So don't apologize."

"But it's because of me that they came here in the first place!"

"You are no more responsible for the attack than any of us. Rather, out of all of us, you've suffered the most."

"I-"

"Stop that. I don't like repeating myself." I said irritably, "You don't have anything to apologize for. And that is that."

"..."

"Rather, we have you to thank. You saved us. You stopped him before he could hurt or kill any of us."

"No. I didn't. I was just running away, I was just being a coward!"

"..."

Are we really going to go through this all again? Really?

"Teito."

"It is my fault! It's...because of me that Mikage..."

I grabbed his hand. "Teito."

"? Wha-"

He managed to choke out before I pulled on his hand and into my arms.

"Stop talking already, idiot." I muttered.

"Hakuren, why-"

"Shh. Just listen."

Bewildered as he was, Teito obeyed. He stopped struggling and relaxed, breathing slowly and gradually becoming regular. Silence flooded the room.

Silence...and...

"Hakuren?"

"Shh!" I repeat, slightly irritated, "Don't you hear it?"

"I...oh."

Teito paused. I watched on, slightly amused as he fell silent, heat flushing his cheeks bright read, finally listening what to what I wanted him to listen.

"Do you hear that?"

"...Y-yeah."

"That's the sound of my heart." I started to say, but faltered a little when I felt him shaking. "...Are you in pain?"

"N-no." He stuttered, before sniffing and continuing in a stronger tone, "No. I'm fine."

"That's the sound of my heart. It's the sound of the life you saved." I continued, "You saved thousands of other lives, thousands of other hearts, and they can beat, give and take blood to support the body and mind, to let people live because you saved them."

"Hakuren..."

"You saved them and me. For that, I am in your debt."

"..."

"I am in your debt, Teito Klein."

"Don't...I'm not someone...I'm not the hero you all make me to be. It's because of me, Mikage..."

"Would Mikage really say it was your fault?"

"!"

"I don't know much about him, true...but you cherish his friendship enough for me to know that he is a kind person. And patient to put up with this stubborn little kitten as a friend." He grumbled a little about that last statement, but let it slide, "And he would be here telling you the same thing. It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"Haku...ren..." His voice trembled and broke, and I could feel him shaking again.

"It's alright."

"Hakuren..."

"Come on already. I'm not going anywhere. It's alright."

He sniffed again and said, "...Stupid fox."

"What was that, you brat?"

"Nothing."

"I thought so."

"Hakuren?"

"Hmm?"

"Do...do you mind if I stay like this for a while?"

"I don't mind. Go ahead and cry everything out, Hakuren-onii-san will keep you company until the little baby boy stops wailing."

"Stupid...*sniff* stupid idiot..."

"Yes, yes."

He didn't cry though. I wasn't expecting him to cry either.

His eyes were already red.

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Teito:

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's because of me.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry...

It's because of me, isn't it?

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Castor:

"That will be all for today."

On cue, relief bloomed on the faces of the acolytes gathered there. They nodded and hurried away, eager to get back to the Library.

"Honestly," Lance tutted, "Why don't they understand that the Exam is not just about memorizing verses? And just reciting them will not eliminate the darkness of this world? If they don't get any Bascules practice, they wouldn't meet the qualifications of being a good Bishop, exam or no exam."

"I see the acolytes are working hard this year as well."

"!" He looked over to where I was standing and grimaced, "...Ggh. You...please do not sneak up on me like that."

"Do not ask the impossible of me." I replied, "And I did not sneak up on you. It was you who passed by here and started gibbering to yourself like a senile old man."

He frowned, "You've been hanging around with that irresponsible oaf for a bit too long, don't you think?"

I chuckled, "I suppose that was a bit too cutting. My apologies. The day has been quite long for me."

"What did the Arch-Bishop have to say about the attack?"

"Considering what we had found out since then, he urges us to be cautious."

"That much is obvious. We have to deal with the Empire's loyal dogs after all."

"With what we've seen these past few years, their involvement is not unexpected."

"But it makes solving this issue much more troublesome." He nodded his head towards the training area, "We have to make sure that the Barrier is back in place before the Exam gets over. As for the issue of dealing with the Army...that may resolve itself in time, but I'm afraid we're on a deadline." He fell silent, gazing at the area for a moment before he added, "Why didn't you tell Teito-kun about him?"

"We've already talked about this, Bishop Lance. No matter how involved he seems to be in our...situation, it was in his best interests to keep him in the dark about us."

"I'm not talking about Frau, Castor." Lance said, "Why didn't you tell him about the half-Kor?"

"We only just found out about it yesterday, Bishop Lance."

"Bishop Labrador had a vision about the Kor's conception."

"But we had no idea of his relation to Teito, or that the Kor formed would be a half. And your powers cannot be utilized by a person's description alone. Teito cannot help in that regard because his amnesia blocks us from accessing his past."

"Dealing with amnesia is hardly new to me." Lance replies, looking offended.

"Yes, but in your case, you have dealt with infantile and retrograde amnesia. Teito though...Labrador has diagnosed that Teito most likely has dissociative amnesia."

"Dissociative amnesia? What kind would that be?"

"The name of a mental ailment when an otherwise healthy person suddenly loses his memory. Nothing to do with normal forgetfulness because injury is not the principal cause. It is caused because of emotional trauma due to a violent crime or a grave accident. That is to say, Teito himself is blocking his memories and any attempts to access them through unconventional means would prove dangerous."

"Like dealing with a sleep-walker."

"That's one way of looking at it, yes."

"About the accident itself...you mentioned that he had been running away from something before, correct? Had you considered the possibility that the military would have had some involvement in Teito-kun's old life, possibly the very incident that ended it?"

"Old life...huh."

"Castor?"

"Nothing. To answer your question, Labrador did receive a vision of the military's inevitable involvement with the Church. We expected a...less obvious attack."

"I see. So what do you plan to do now?"

"We were lucky that there were no fatalities from this encounter, but I believe Teito still feels responsible for the attack. Understandable, really. And with his recent discovery of the Ghosts and the true potential of darkness in this world, his mind is in a fragile mental state."

"That's another thing. What exactly happened back there, Castor?" Lance asked, "I've heard various accounts from the eyewitnesses of the incident and most of them were incoherent at best. But then I heard a much clearer account from an unexpected source." He glared at me, " At what point of time would you deem it necessary to tell me that Teito-kun's excessively powerful and extremely moody doppleganger was sneaking his way past the Sisters to spy on his 'master'?"

"Ah."

He blinked. "You were aware of this, right?"

"That person shares more than his appearance with Teito-kun, it looks like." I muttered, "It's best to leave him be. For reasons unknown, he seems interested only in the boy's welfare. And if his conversation with Hakuren is anything to go by, he doesn't plan on disclosing those reasons soon either. Or he can't."

"You've been eavesdropping again?" Lance asked disapprovingly.

"I'm not the one doing the eavesdropping." I pointed behind my shoulder, "She is."

"And that makes such a difference." Lance sniffed, staring at the doll behind me, "But I don't think I can stop you from doing that."

The expression on his face said the rest of his sentence for him.

Nor do I want to. It's better than making the wrong choices because we don't have any information.

And making wrong choices in this kind of battle would lose us time...and worse.

"At any rate, we should probably just-"

Castor!

"Labrador?" Lance said before I could. He briefly looked around the area and glanced back at me. Even as I nodded to show I'd heard him too, I was talking back to him.

What is it?

It's Teito-kun. Regarding the matter we spoke of, it seems that our predictions for the worst case scenario seem to have come to light.

"Worst predictions?" I heard Lance murmur to himself before turning to me, "What's going on, Castor?"

"We seem to have played into quite the troublesome situation." For right now, we should go back to Teito-kun's room and keep a closer eye on him while-"

"Bishop Castor!"

"...! Hakuren-kun? You're not supposed to be out of bed!"

The boy's fingers were grasping frantically at the wall, breath wracked from his body in harsh coughs.

But his voice was still clear enough when he shouted for me to make out the words.

"Bishop Castor! Teito is...!"

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Frau:

"Damn brat..."

Glug. Glug. Glug.

"How many times am I supposed to keep saving you? Huh?"

Glug. Glug.

"How many times do I have to stop them from killing you?"

Glug.

"And one of those sadistic fuckers turns out to be me, huh. You were really shocked when you found out. Looked it, anyway. But you couldn't tell a lie to save your fucking life. Same goes for your face. I really hope you weren't a thief or anything like that before you wound up here, because you'd be crap at it."

"You don't even need to lie. You're the saint here, not me."

"Oh wait no. That's not right. I fucked up. I'm a Bishop, not a saint."

"...I'm neither of those things."

"Well I'm fucked."

Glug. Glug. Glug.

"Hell, I'm fucking myself over right now." I stare at the wineskin in my hand and snort, "Glasses will probably shit all over himself if he finds out he didn't burn all my stashes."

"How the hell did I manage to land this job again?"

"Oh right. Because of the old fart."

And Bastien.

Lots of things are because of that damned geezer.

"Yeah. Lots of things."

"Y'know that the kid lectured me on kindness? Right in front of your fucking grave too." I took another swig from the wineskin. "Pretty much like how you tried to give me one when you were bleeding your guts out in front of me. Now that I think about it, he reminds me of you. Kind of. Even though he came here with no memory of who or what he had been before, he seemed to be...fighting for something, I think? I dunno." I shrugged, "Then again, everyone around me seems to be fighting for something, don't they."

Yeah. They all do.

And me? I'm stuck in an eternity of fighting against a literal living demon.

But I've never actually fought for something. Or someone. Not even when Bastien was alive.

How can I even protect someone when I can't give enough shits about them to save them before myself?

Kindness can save your skin, but that doesn't change the reason for the action, kid.

I know that all too well.

...

"I need more alcohol. And maybe a smoke. Which I can have if I brought my lighter along. Which I most likely didn't bring. Goddamnit."

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the seat, feeling the low, continuous hum of the hawkzile underneath me.

The heat of the desert sun beat into my skin. Sweat stuck to the back of my neck, dragging down a few strands of hair with them.

It was uncomfortable as hell.

Hey. Maybe this is what Hell was like.

Although, wasn't Hell also supposed to be a cold place, not a raging inferno? It would make more sense for the sinners from District 7 to go there, seeing as they would have no idea how to deal with the eternity of cold, as opposed to dealing with fire.

Then again, nights in the desert were a bitch to deal with. They were so cold, we couldn't stay outside for too long. Since we were technically dead and our bodies were more cold-blooded than anything.

Where would I go when I die? What was my main reason for being alive in the first place?

It never bothered me.

I think it was because I was too busy living to worry about what tomorrow would bring. That's what Lab told me anyway. He had that strange smile of his when he said it. That strange, sad smile.

...Both him and Castor. They'd been running all over the place trying to re-instate the barrier, and it had been showing on their faces. Tending to the injured and reassuring the patrons of the Church...

And I'm sitting out here, smack in the middle of the desert, doing jack shit.

"I wonder if that brat's up and about yet. Somehow I doubt it."

After all, where that kid goes, trouble follows.

And it's been quieter than the Church graveyard recentl-

Hm?

Another sound joined the low hum the hawkzile was making. It had been there for a while now...

Was there someone else out here? Glasses?

No, that wasn't a hawzkile engine. That sound...wait a second, was that the sound of-?!

I opened my eyes and sat up straight, squinting up at the sky.

...I don't see anything.

...

Did I even hear right? Or is this the alcohol talking?

No. That's definitely the sound of wings.

A Kor.

It was getting louder now. And with the sound of wings, I could hear something else.

Something familiar.

?!

I turned to the left.

And I finally saw it.

I finally saw him.

Teito?!

He was crying again. But he was making an effort to wipe away the tears on his arm.

He wasn't doing too well though. Not when it seemed to take every ounce of strength to carry a small bundle of cloth in his arms and at the same time, fly through the fucking sky on wings.

My mind had sputtered to a halt, but my body hadn't. My hands reached for the bars and my foot pushed down on the pedal even as I recognized him and I was jerked back as the machine roared to life, shooting towards the kid like a speeding bullet.

My eyes were still trained on him.

My mouth fell open and closed again in a cry of his name. Again and again, I shouted.

He didn't hear. He couldn't hear me.

He just kept flying in a shaky, straight line. His breath was forced in and forced out with forced sobs and gasps, his arms tight like a vice around the cloth bundle. The things on his back, his wings, beat down heavily against the baked air and that's when I realized things were even more fucked than I first thought.

With every beat of his wings, white feathers shook free, turning to grey for an instant before vanishing in a stream of silver particles, carried away by the wind. And this close, I could smell the cruelly familiar scent of the dead and gone.

Those wings were falling apart. Literally rotting away before my eyes.

He was sinking fast now, because his wings had fallen apart to about half the brat's size and Teito was too heavy to remain airborne on what he had.

Not for long. I leaned my body towards the front, trying to create less air resistance, urge the thing on, I didn't even know.

Gettohimgettohimgettohim. Fasterfasterfaster.

He needs you.

"Gotcha!"

The instant my hands met cloth, I pulled and he collided heavily against me. In the mess of feathers and fabric, I could feel him tense up in shock, before he tried to push away from me frantically, screaming for me to let him go.

Not on your life!

"Teito, calm down! It's me! Teito!"

It didn't work; I might have well been talking to a rock. He continued struggling, one arm ducking down to hold the bundle of cloth away from me. But he needed to calm down fast, or he'd send us both to our deaths in the sands.

I hit him on the back of the head, gritting my teeth when he cried out in pain.

I'm sorry, kid.

But with him knocked out, his wings fell bonelessly against his sides and I could finally see.

I carefully steered the hawkzile into a dive, fingers digging deep into his back to anchor him to me.

Hold on just a little...longer...

I pulled the hawkzile up right before the nose touched the ground, and brought the thing to a screeching halt.

As soon as I felt it stop, I pulled the kid closer towards me and took a better look at him.

His breathing was ragged, whimpers slipping from his lips. His body was hunched over the bundle he was carrying, and as I tried to pry his hands away from it, a pained cry from him made me stop.

The kid was still conscious, but barely.

I'm sorry.

I pulled his arms off it completely and tugged the fabric away.

"What the fuck...?"

The cloth fell away to reveal a small head of fair hair and a body swathed in the white of Church clothes. As I leaned over him, I could hear the sound of slow, deep breathing.

An orphan kid?

Wait, isn't this the kid that usually hangs out with the brat? Capella, he's called...

A sob brings my attention back towards the brat, and I could see fresh tears leaking from his eyes as he mumbled, "No...no, no, they caught me..."

"Teito?"

"They caught me...they caught him...they caught and killed him...I don't want him to die, why is he dead, I didn't want him to die!"

His eyes shot open as his voice rose to a scream, and the struggling started anew. His hands scratched away at mine, trying to bring Capella closer to himself, away from me.

"Don't touch him! Get your filthy fucking hands off him!"

"Kid calm down! Teito!"

I gripped his shoulders and shook him roughly, yelling, "Brat, get a hold of yourself! You're safe, both of you! You're safe!"

"...S-safe...?"

His voice had quieted down again, and I could feel his rotting wings stirring against my sides.

"Yes, safe. You're safe here, Teito. You're safe."

I repeated the word over and over again, and the more I said it, the more he seemed to calm down, though his grip remained strong on the little kid.

"Safe..." He repeated finally, slowly as if daring not to believe it, "I'm safe."

"Yes, you are. I've got you, kid."

"Safe...I'm safe...you..."

He looks up at me with reddened eyes, dazed eyes.

"You're safe...I'm..."

One of his arms snaked around the little kid and reached up towards the my cheek. I remained still, an instinct to try to show him I wasn't a threat.

"You...oh, thank God, you're alright."

I frowned. Me? I'm alright?

"You're safe...you're safe...like you promised."

His body lurched upwards suddenly and it was all I could do to keep him from falling off the damn machine.

His hand went from my cheek to my neck and tugged me down. In my confusion to keep him on the hawkzile, I followed his pull unthinkingly.

I stopped when I felt soft lips against mine.

His eyes were closed, his hand curling into a fist around the neck of the coat, pulling me close into the kiss. A kiss that was innocent, feather-light and full of warmth and relief.

We remained like that for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

He pulled away and stared at me through those same unfocused eyes, a smile tugging at those same, soft lips as he said,

"You're safe...you're safe..."

He repeated the words, almost devout, as he sank into my arms.

"...I love you..."

"I love you...Mikage."

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...

Oh God...what on Earth is this piece of shit...*hides face in hands*