Disclaimer: I own Nothing!

I just got an idea from something I just forgot…Dammit! Oh well I still remember the idea.

Jasper's POV

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out

Who has to know? My conscience whispered.

My head throbbed as I sat up in bed. I opened my eyes and noted that Alice was curled into my side. After our argument earlier she was still fuming but accepted my comfort, it was even worse when she realized the vampire we had chased was Samuel; to top it off Emmett had disappeared and left a very volatile Rosalie in his wake. She had a lot on her plate.

My head throbbed again. I tried to chase away the thoughts swarming around but I just couldn't shake them. I looked at Alice and was glad she couldn't read minds. Vampires can't sleep but we do tend to get lost in our thoughts. She was in a dream state now and she wouldn't notice me leaving. I slowly slid her to the other pillow, slipping my pillow between her arms. I got up after I decided that I needed fresh air.

I was already out the front door in seconds. I kept walking for I don't know how long. It was only a precaution, now I was alone with my thoughts. I felt a flashback coming on. And this time I let it. I couldn't block it forever. I mostly hid it from Edward but after today I needed to think or I would confess to everyone.

Flashback

"I don't know what's wrong, Jasper, I keep having dreams of him." Alice sobbed waken from the last nightmare and I as usual tried to comfort her.

"It's only natural; he did break up with you the day before his house burned down. No bodies were found and the basement was closed off, they gave up searching, you just need closure." I said hoping she would let it drop for now. Every day we went through this.

"That's the problem, there was closure! " She wailed. "There's something wrong, I always picture him alive and hurting. I know it's not possible but it just hurts to think, what if? I mean they found no body, no trace, he could still be alive." She laid her head in her hands.

"He cruelly dumped you on his birthday, cheating too! That bastard deserves whatever he gets, no one hurts my Alice!" I whispered fiercely. She gave a small smile, and I flashed her one too. That protective boyfriend thing always gets her. I respect him though, he hurt her for the sole purpose of saving her, and too bad he still lost her.
"You're right. He's an asshole." She giggled, she never curses. "I'm going to enjoy today. This is my day." She said as we stood up.

"Yes it is." She smiled at me.

I wiped her tears and kissed her. She moaned into my mouth and I took the chance to deepen it. I put my hands on the back of her neck and head pulling her closer to me. She yanked her fingers through my locks, if I was human that would hurt. Her hands started crawling under the hem of my shirt. She only wanted a break from her thoughts and I gladly obliged. I let her pull it over my head. She quickly dropped my black tee to the floor. I felt her pulse accelerate as her hands roamed my broad chest.

I broke away from the kiss. I chuckled as she whimpered. Leaning her head back I captured her neck with my lips, biting, sucking and licking as her back arched and I made my way to her collarbone. I broke away and looked at her face so dazzling from blushing; she looked at me with pure lust in her eyes as she lowered the straps of her tank top. I pushed them back up, and leaned next to her ear.

"Not tonight." I whispered breathlessly.

She looked confused before a glint came into her eyes. I could feel the desire rolling off of her in waves before she captured my nipple in her mouth. Lightly biting it, she pushed me against a wall, slowly she released it. She blew cold air across it and they hardened, she was kissing my chest. She trailed a string of kissed and licks all the way to my belt buckle. She undid it with her hands before dragging it off with her teeth at a painstakingly slow pace. I hissed sharply when she ran her fingers along my tented boxers.

"Now will you do it?" She asked with a mischievous smile. I was about to surrender when I heard the floor groan by her door. I quickly pulled her to her feet.

"You can come in!" I shouted before Alice could ask. In walked her sister Cynthia, who was naïve but knew enough to flush when she saw us. She quickly turned around when she noted my unzipped jeans and current condition. I zipped them and addressed her. "What is it you want?" I said not attempting to keep the malice out of my voice.

"Mom wanted Mary downstairs." Alice winced at the use of her name. "It is her birthday you know." Cynthia said quickly. She then left, I noticed her turn around at the door, and the slight sadness when she saw that I had "composed" myself.

We traveled to the living room where there was a cake and seventeen candles, which were all lit. She smiled at the streamers and colors.

"Oh damn!" Alice said when she noticed what she forgot. "Thank you, mom and dad, for such a great birthday." As she hugged them Cynthia muttered something that made me want to strike her.

"Swear jar." She said in that annoying way of hers..

"I really hate loose change." Alice smiled. Alice went into her pocket and pulled out a quarter. With the quarter came her wallet. Before I could get to it and close it she saw what had happened. Inside Alice's wallet is the one picture of him I hadn't destroyed or even knew about. Samuel laying under a tree looking at the camera, laughing. She let out a sob. I caught her against my bare torso as she cried. She ran from my arms out of the room.

We all waited outside the bathroom for hours while she cried. I was the last one there just sitting at the base of the door. It's when the crying stopped and I smelled blood that I knocked down the door with a swift kick. She was curled up in a ball muttering.

"Why won't they go away?" She kept saying. Her parents and Cynthia showed up while I carried her to her bed. I wrapped her arms in gauze. She had cut herself, apparently trying to get rid of her visions. She whimpered as I tucked her in. I stripped to my boxers and climbed in with her. She curled into me, her breathing slowed and she drifted off. I heard everything as her parents talked.

"Christine we can't do that to her. She's our little girl, plus what would he think, he is her boyfriend." Her father quietly yelled at her mother.

"Walter, you know as well as I do that we can't do her any good here, it's for her own good. We'll get her back and she'll be happy again." Alice's mother tried to reason.

"She's still my little girl. We can fix her here." He insisted.

"She needs it, how about, Sunny Gales?" She smiled at him.

"Absolutely not, Christine, you heard the rumors of that place, I'd rather she be dead then have to go there." He yelled being loud for the first time since this started.

"Why don't we ask, Alice?" She said.

"She doesn't need to know because she's not going." He said with force.

"How about we vote, wait…it's only us two."

"Well then let's ask Jasper, he is as much a part of her life as we are, and he gets the deciding vote." Walter whispered. I walked in at that time. Christine quickly looked away at my indecent exposure. He just glared icy, but anxious eyes at me. He wanted to believe I would help him save her, he was just afraid to hope.

"Jasper, we have a question to ask you, it pertains to Ma-Alice." She wanted me to agree with her, and she knew I hated Alice's first name. "You, see, we've noticed how Alice reacts to certain things, mostly things about um…Samuel, her old boyfriend. Do you know of him?" She asked.

"Yes, I know of him, he was murdered on his birthday, after he broke it off with Alice. No bodies were ever found, of him, his mother, or his alleged mistress, correct?" I asked with mock innocence.

"Yes, you're right. Well, we watched how she reacted tonight and we thinks its time she gets…professional help." She said. "We were wondering if you'd weigh in on the decision. Walter thinks she shouldn't go, but I believe if she went she could come back happier than ever." She smiled at the end. Walter's eyes turned pleading.

"I think she should go, it might help and that would be extraordinarily beneficial for her future" I said.

"Splendid, she'll leave in the morning." Christine clapped cheerfully. I believe I just saw a man's heart shatter. That quickly turned to rage. He turned on his heel and marched out. "Walter her bags are already packed in the hall closet." She shouted after him. We heard a crash and glass slid from the dining room all the way to us. He came back with twelve suitcases. "Walter, dear, she only has five bags." She sounded confused but I understood even before he said it.

"The other seven are my things; I'm leaving you Chris." He stated coldly. He pulled out his cell and dialed a number. "Yeah, Mitch it's me, no this is not some drill pull the car around." He said and flipped his phone closed. He looked her in the eyes "don't act surprised you cold-hearted bitch." She looked at him on the verge of tears.

"Bu-but, you can't leave what about Alice?" She said. He scoffed like it was obvious.

"I'd never abandon her, I'll visit her regularly."

"What about Cynthia?" She was crying now.

"She's not even mine, that little bastard is all you, and whoever you were fucking at the time. I take no responsibility for making her." He stated.

"What about me?" I didn't think anyone could cry that much.

"What about you? You're nothing but a pain in my ass for years, I loved you at first. Even when my friends warned me you were a soul sucking whore. You even made me believe I was your first so I'd stay with you. You never loved me. You just loved what I could get you. The last straw was tricking me into believing Cynthia was mine. I guess I should take some blame, she looks nothing like me. I was just ecstatic to have two beautiful daughters. Now I see how ugly she is, just like you." He shouted. There was a car honk outside. He picked up his bags.

"You won't leave, you can't afford to be on your a week you'll come crawling back." She shouted at him. He spun so fast I was a little confused.

"Me!" He laughed hard, a real laugh, full of hate and mockery. "You're the one who leeches off of me!" She looked away. "Aw, don't get sad. I'll leave you an allowance each month so you and your spawn don't starve." She looked relieved. "I don't want Alice to return to corpses." The look of rage returned o her eyes. "But I swear; if she doesn't come back, neither will I, remember that." With those words he carried his things out the door.

Flashback End

That's my secret; I was the deciding vote that put Alice in the loony bin. It was the only way I could get her to forget it all and become a vampire. That's not the worst though. In seconds I was thrown into another trip to the past.

Flashback

She just wouldn't forget. Her dad comes every two days. He talks to her and she explains every inch of her visions and nightmares. He listens and she smiles. They go for a walk in the park outback, he tells a corny joke, she laughs, they eat ice-cream, he tells her she'll be home in no time, they hug, and he leaves. Every two days.

I sit watching, I'm taking the role as a lowly janitor. I see her at night. I never go too close. She doesn't need to see me. She sees things and I hold her. She opens her eyes and I'm gone. I leave her gifts. She used to knit me horrible sweaters when she was home. I brought her a knitting kit. I'm like Santa with cookies. She leaves them out, I take them. I leave her Hershey kisses and plush hearts. Even a card, with the song "everything I do".

I had to hunt one night. I went to Canada. I came back the next night and something was wrong. She explained at dinner that she had had a dream of Samuel; he came to her as an angel. An angel with red eyes with only a hint of his silver. He asked her to wake up and see him, to come with him, but she couldn't and he left. She hated to see her angel in pain. It happened for weeks, the same thing for three months. He asked her, and she didn't leave. It seemed to happen when I left every night. It baffled me how this was possible, it had to be a hallucination. One day in group she said she'd go with him, that this time she wasn't afraid. I was listening from a bench outside the room heavily clothed and my hat down. She was tired of seeing him hurt. They said that was just death talking to her, but she didn't listen. She said if it was her time she wouldn't struggle. I stayed all night, watching her through a floorboard from the abandoned room right over hers. I know I was being paranoid but dreams could kill a person and I wanted to make sure she made it through the night. She was awake after lights out, watching the door. I had a suspicion that Samuel was real, vampire real.

The weird thing though, was it didn't happen, he didn't show up in dreamland or in reality. He never visited again. I became her dream now. She whispered my name, and left me gifts to exchange, I was the one she saw now. I don't think I was enough though, her depression worsened. Alice withdrew from her father much to his dismay. She needed to be occupied, I gave her more yarn. Maybe she would make a hat. She didn't. That night Mary Alice Brandon made a noose. That night I found her hanging. I broke the noose and tried to give her CPR. She didn't move. I yelled for help and twenty people saw only my back as I escaped into the night. They talked of a mysterious stranger saving her from death. She thought Samuel had come back. She perked up. It was too late. That's when the shock treatment started. It went dad, shock, eat, shock, sleep, Jasper, crying. That's how it happened. I became extremely lonely, I met others like me though. Only one of them stuck with me.

I saw two men sitting at a lunch table one night. Both seemed to be janitors. A quick way to remedy loneliness, maybe even a quick meal from one of them.

"Hey how ya' doing?" The blonde asked as I sat down.

"I'm fine, how about you two?"

"I'm okay. I only do this out of boredom." The brunette said.

"Perfect. This is my ideal scene." The blonde leaned against me like we were instant buddies. I saw a hint of red in his colorless eyes. I gripped his throat and pinned him against the table. I bared my teeth and growled.

"If you want to off him go ahead, you have my permission." The other said. That made me pause.

"I don't need your permission." I growled. With that he grabbed my head between his hands in a steel grip. He was going to rip my head off.

"Don't ever reveal your true existence in the presence of humans, isn't that the rule." He hissed. I was about to remark on how I would have killed him if he was truly human. He beat me to it. "Murder only makes a bigger trail, more evidence, and thirty more curious family members." I looked at James who was still choking under my hands.

"I get it, you're a vampire. I'm not here for you. I'm here for the loony chicks. There's no law against picking off society's rejects. In jails they freak out thinking they escaped. Not worth it." He chocked out. I let him go.

"What are your names?"

"My name's James?"

"I'm Eleazar; you can call me El or Zar." He said.

"I'm Jasper, nice to meet you." We didn't shake hands.

"What are you here for Jasper?" Eleazar asked quietly.

"A girl, she just tried to off herself."

"Oh, you mean Knotty." I shot James a look . "She hung herself with yarn!" He argued. I just glared at him.

"She smelled nice though. How about I share that action?"

"No way in hell." I said clenching my teeth. His eyes screamed at me to challenge him.

"No altercations in a public facility" Eleazar warned. I looked into James's emotional tap. I could tell by his extreme excitement that he's a tracker who just found prey. I knew that that night I had to change her. James walked off. I had nothing to worry about right now. I knew Eleazar would end him first step out of line. He came off as that type of guy.

"I'm going to kill him" I seethed.

"No you're not. You're going to change her." He looked hesitant for a moment. "Jasper, she has a gift you need to be warned about. She can see into the future. I'm warning you Jasper, if you change her and stick around she'll remember everything and end you in a hummingbird's flap." I glared defiantly.

"You'll leave, I know because you trust me." He walked away. I pretended to work until midnight.

She was in solitary again, for a week this time, I think it was for attacking a doctor during "therapy". In this fucked up place shit like that was normal. I broke the latch on the door and let myself in. I went over to her. She saw me but her eyes were glazed over. I had to do it now. She just kept staring into the darkness. That's all she saw nowadays. I kissed her lips softly and bit her. She didn't scream out. She just sat there, rocking slowly back and forth. I backed out the door, bumping into Eleazar. He sniffed the air and looked at me. He smiled.

"Smart boy." With that he walked off. I couldn't blame him; I was going to do it anyway. I just hated him being right.

1 Week Later

In front of the casket was a black and white blur of people's dull clothing. I was the one wearing a tie-dye v-neck and kaki shorts. At Alice's funeral her mom was talking with her dad after the burial of the empty casket. She begged him to come back but he said unless they find his daughter he wasn't going anywhere. Tough chance, he had already put the best people on the job and they all came back empty handed. Christine and Cynthia were cold turkey broke. He wouldn't offer them a dime without Alice, and that sure wasn't happening. He was staring at the shiny tombstone with tears in his eyes. He looked away and shoved past the throngs of people.

A day later, Walter Uriah Brandon was found with a gun, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, a brain smeared polo shirt on, and a tear stained picture of Alice. His will stated that everything that was to go to Alice will still be in the bank, and in the case that she ever returns, or is identified will be given her rightful thirty seven billion dollars. Just in case the receiver must take a DNA test to prove that they are her. Nine and a half million dollars is now the property of Samuel's mother. Walter's will required that the remainder of his vast fortune go to his staff of twenty years, to be split evenly among them. Also, two-hundred-sixty seven thousand dollars will go to Jasper Manning. For making his horrible choice of putting her away, only because he loved Alice.

I was found by Alice in a café two weeks after. I had just murdered a busload of children and threw them off a cliff. Now I was stuffing my carton of untouched leftovers into my satchel. I thought that maybe if I feed a homeless guy next that he might lead me to a building of addicts if I ask. That's when she tapped my shoulder. I turned to face her.

"Jasper…Jasper…Jasper!" She wasn't making those sounds. Her lips weren't moving. That's when I looked into his furious eyes. Edward looked at me like I had just stolen his arm. "What the hell is your problem you, bastard?" He shouted as he punched me. I am about to steal his arm.

"What the fuck!" I yelled.

"You killed Alice! Just admit it, I saw you, you were at her funeral. She didn't know you then. You did it. That's why she can't remember anything, isn't it? You used her feelings against her and made her forget. I thought you loved her." It was daytime, but cloudy enough to be out here. We were near school. My legs must have kept walking. People were starting to stare. They didn't hear the first part though. They walked out just as he punched me, Cullens fighting, super interesting. They just got into earshot.

"We have company bro." I said quietly. He glared.

"I don't care. I hate you, you, sicko!" He shouted and shoved me. I was losing patience. "All you wanted was the rush, wasn't it? When she changed you got bored. I bet you went all out to ignore it, that feeling to abandon her and find someone else, or to tell the truth! I bet she had someone else that you took her from, who is it, Jasper, huh? Who is the poor sap you stole her from?" You have no idea. I thought just before he shoved me again.

"Isn't that what you did to Bella?" He gulped and looked down. "Oh, now you're quiet huh Eddie boy? You don't want to admit it, do you? Well listen up people," I addressed the crowd. "Edward Cullen lost. He couldn't get the girl so he tricked her. Promised her things he's too much of a pussy to give her, and told her lies of what the other guy was capable of. He told her he would protect her, but he didn't. He almost got Bella killed because the guy who loves her, Jacob, that big La Push kid you gawk at, was trying to win her over. Edward even tried to kill Jacob! Then like always he couldn't deliver what he promised and Bella was almost killed. Guess who saved her, not Edward! Thank the heavens for Jacob huh?" I got on my knees in a praying position and looked up at the sky, a broad smile plastered on my face.

"Shut up you bastard! I will not take any shit from a sociopath!" He looked angry enough to kill. I looked at him with pure challenge in my eyes. I stood up and met his glare head on.

"You think I care? You can go screw yourself you spiteful, pale faced, chicken-shit, virgin!" I smiled as I saw the fury take over; this is going to be fun.

I braced myself. He charged me and I flipped him over my head into the asphalt. He lifted me in a tackle and slammed me into Tyler's van. I clenched it so it didn't turn over. I grabbed his head and broke it through the window. I kicked him square in the chest. He slid to a stop and punched me in the face; I kicked him in the head. He gripped my shoulders and I head butted him. Now the crowd had started cheering for different sides and in the argument over who was going to win they started fighting each other. We had started a riot. Kids were fighting and bleeding, real Blood. I looked over and my eyes darkened. I felt that monster inside growl. He wanted out of his cage. He would even rip out my throat to do it. I couldn't kill them all. Too much of a trail could lead to a problem. I had to stop.

"Hey, Eddie, are you mad because you're in love with Alice?" He looked at me. I needed him to hit me. "Just like with Rosalie. She turned you down for years, and then Emmett came along and ruined your chances, or with Esme when she shot you down. Are you only with Bella because she can't leave you? She'll never want you. Jacob is her other choice, she already chose his warm personality over you're cold hearted ego. Do you think that if you change her, he'll reject her and she'll come to you?" He looked absolutely furious.

"Shut your mouth!" He yelled as he punched me. I looked at him and smiled. He got angry again instantly. "I'm gonna wipe that grin off of your face."

He charged towards me and slammed my back into the pavement. This was too much to handle, I was in too vulnerable a position. My training kicked in. I shoved my feet and propelled him into a small tree, instantly snapping it. Nothing could stop me now. I was a major again. I lifted him by his neck and slammed him to the ground. I kicked him in the side, and he tumbled a few yards. I was going to snap off his arm, but like the bitch he is he bit me. I immediately put him in a headlock. I was about to snap off his head when an iron grip trapped me from behind. Rosalie tugged him from my hands. I cringed as a piercing whistle went through the crowd. It was Alice. The students stopped fighting to cover their ears.

"Is this a real fight, because if you're sparring you should have done it at home." Emmett said.

"What in the hell is going on with you two?" Rosalie shouted.

"He started it!" I yelled. Alice looked over at the students then me. She looked at Emmett and he immediately put his hand over my nose. Too much blood I think. The look Rosalie gave them drove them all back into school.

"No matter what happened, nothing should cause you two to fight in front of humans." Rosalie said.

"He killed Alice! He's the reason she's a vampire." Edward shouted.

"No he isn't!" Alice said somewhat unsure. I smiled at her. She would always believe that smile. "Now wait until Esme finds out you two were fighting, let alone in front of humans." She said with more confidence. Rosalie smiled, as her phone rang.

"Yes Carlisle….Wait what….no….we'll be right there." We looked at her like she was crazy. "B-Bella….she's gone." Just then Edward ran off.

That counts as a cliff hanger. Also I read the chapter with Emmett and I realized that it sucked. Also I know this took a while but I had this like a day after I uploaded Emmett's except Fanfiction had some T.D.s so I messaged them and they fixed it. Hope you enjoyed and review.