A/N: In this AU the Battle of Hogwarts took place in 2011, the same year as "Ghost Story" (Dresden Files #13).

While stealing the Hufflepuff Cup from the LeStrange Vault had seemed like a sensible idea at the time, Harry Potter had quickly come to realize what a terrible mistake he had made. At seventeen he was now legally an adult wizard, and the Dursleys would never again support him financially. Yet all his galleons were locked-up at Gringotts, and he had no idea if the vengeful goblins were going to empty his Vault. In the week since the Battle of Hogwarts he had been trying—and failing—to write a letter to the greedy monsters in hopes of working out a deal which didn't leave him destitute.

"Ask for meeting in the Forbidden Forest."

Harry jumped up out of his transfigured desk and had the Elder Wand pointed at the newcomer in an instant. He had come down to the Chamber of Secrets to be alone, and the unexpected voice had scared the bejesus out him. "Who are you, and how did not get down here?"

"My name is Ivy, and I arrived the same way you did. Salazar Slytherin and his descendents made extensive notes on Parseltongue pronunciation," the blonde girl replied.

She was a bit younger and a bit taller than Harry was, and despite her immaculate Hogwarts robe he was sure he had never see her before today. However for some reason it was her blue eyes that caught his attention: they were just... wrong.

"And you really should ask for meeting with the goblins in the Forbidden Forest."

"How did you know I was writing to the goblins?" he asked.

"You have tried to compose that letter for days now," this Ivy replied as she studied the corpse of the basilisk. "If anyone in the world writes anything down I know about it instantaneously. I am the Archive."

"I never heard of a witch with a power like that before, but my friend Hermione would sell you her first-born child if you could teach her how to do it," Harry said jokingly.

"You think I am lying," the strange girl said in sad voice. "Very well. Do you remember what you asked Santa Claus for when you were five? A hug from your Aunt Petunia. Do you remember that letter you wrote the summer after the Triwizard Tournament begging your godfather to come and rescue you from Privet Drive? You were crying so hard that your tears caused the ink to run. And of course there was that charming limerick you wrote comparing Cho Chang's bottom to a pair of Quaffles."

"That's impossible. I destroyed those letters before anyone could see them," the horrified wizard whispered.

"Don't worry. No one else knows about them but me," Ivy assured him. "The knowledge is locked away in my mind, and can be found nowhere else on Earth. And before you ask, my ability is a form of magic unique to my family. It can't be taught or transferred to outsiders."

Harry pondered her outlandish claim for minute. "This some kind of prank; you must be using Legilimency on me. There is no way one person can have all the knowledge of the world in their head. No single wizard or witch is that powerful."

"That statement would be true if I was a witch, but my magic is far different from yours," Ivy explained. "If you require further proof I suggest we take a trip to your school's library."

Harry wasn't sure if the girl was sane or not, so getting out of the Chamber of Secrets without a fighting a duel sounded like an excellent idea to him. "Ladies first."

When they reached the vertical tunnel to the girl's second-floor bathroom Ivy dismissed his broom with a sniff, and instead summoned a flat stone disk right out of the bedrock. Without using a wand or speaking any kind of verbal incantation.

"Hop aboard."

The trip up to the bathroom was so sooth Harry hardly noticed they were moving at all. "How are you doing this? Is it an advanced Levitation Charm?"

She deflected his question with one of her own. "I take it you don't want to be seen by your fellow wizards and witches? Then please allow me to raise a veil before we leave the bathroom."

"Is this veil you are using the same thing as a Disillusionment Charm?" Harry asked as they walked towards the library unnoticed by any of the students or Aurors who were roaming the hallways.

"The underlying mechanics of the spells have nothing in common, but the end results are nearly identical," Ivy replied as they reached their destination. "Now go find a book, but don't open it. Give me the title and a page number, and I will tell you word for word what you will find on that page."

The testing lasted for almost an hour, and Harry grew more and more hysterical as they worked their way through the stacks. This was a depressingly common reaction when other human beings were told of the existence of the Archive. Some went so far as to worship her ancestors as gods when they learned of the truth, while others committed suicide in the face of real omniscience. Ivy knew that the boy would soon ask a very painful question, and she could only hope that her answer would satisfy him. If she lied to him now it would ruin everything she was hoping to build in the future.

Harry suddenly stopped the testing and slammed the book he was reading down on the table between them. "If have all this information at your disposal then you must have known where Voldemort kept his horcruxes!"

"Yes, I knew the general location of Tom Riddle's little trinkets and I also know several spells which could have been used to destroy them."

"Than where were you a month, or better yet a year ago when I really needed you?" Harry shouted. "Over fifty people died during the Battle of Hogwarts last week, and a lot of them were very important to me!"

"Please listen to me," Ivy said as she closed her eyes. "The Archive was created five thousand years to preserve the knowledge of humanity in case of a major cataclysm, and it has been handed down from mother to daughter for over two hundred generations. When I received the Archive at birth it instantly made me one of the most powerful individuals in the world, but I can never actively use that power. If I did I would quickly become a target for the other supernatural powers, and it would only be a matter of time before I was captured or killed. I must always stay neutral if I am to fulfill the task which was given to my family all those thousands of years ago."

"I guess that makes sense," Harry reluctantly conceded after a long silence. "If you really are this "Archive" it would make you too important to risk in something as chaotic as a battle. But if what you are saying is true than why did you come to Hogwarts, and why are you talking with me now?"

Ivy hesitated a moment before again evading his question. "One way or the other you are going to meet with the goblins soon. When you do they will offer to forgo any monetary penalties for the damage you caused to Gringotts if you are willing to officially become a "Friend and Ally to the Goblin Nation" in return."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad."

"That is exactly what they want you to think," Ivy explained. "In reality goblins have neither friends nor allies among human beings—they only have indentured servants and enemies. If you were to sign that contract it would make you their servant, and they could magically compel you to keep your new status a secret. Having you as their agent would give the goblins a great deal of power over their enemies in the Ministry of Magic. That would be far more valuable to them than the thirty-four thousand galleons being held in your Vault."

"You are serious? The goblins want to make me their bloody slave? Is that even possible?"

"You were compelled to compete in the Triwizard Tournament against your will, weren't you?" Ivy pointed out. "The magical contract the goblins have prepared is similar in nature, but will last for a far longer period of time."

"And I was just about to walk right into their trap," Harry muttered. "If you are supposed to stay neutral, than why are you helping me?"

Again Ivy ignored his question as she got up to leave. "Remember to ask for a meeting in the Forbidden Forest, and to look for the phase "Friend and Ally to the Goblin Nation" in any document they want you to sign."

"Why are you doing this? These people are the Amish of the magical world. No scratch that, they are the mentally retarded Amish of the magical world."

Ivy glanced over at the man who had been her bodyguard since the day of her birth. Jared Kincaid was the six hundred year-old son of demon and a human mother. This unusual paternity gave him supernatural strength and reflexes to go along with his extensive military training. "I agree with you that their magic is limited, but it still has its uses."

"Magic," Kincaid snorted as he kept watch over the Forbidden Forest. "The Blackstaff can cause an earthquake or fire-up a volcano. And remember that time he pulled a Soviet communication satellite out of obit and dropped it down on Duke Ortega's estate? That was real piece of magic."

"Are you forgetting what happened to me in Chicago?"

Three years ago Ivy had been kidnapped by a group of Fallen Angels who called themselves the Order of the Blackened Denarius. These evil creatures were powerful, but even as a group they lacked the strength to defeat her in open combat. So instead the Denarians had trapped her using an advance spell circle which had cut the Archive off from any outside sources of magic. They tortured her for several days in an attempt to convert her to their unholy cause. Luckily she had been rescued before suffering any permanent damage.

"While the Blackstaff and I draw our magical power from the world around us, Harry Potter and those like him produce their magic internally," Ivy explained. "If I had that ability I could have broken free of the spell circle the Denarians used to trap me."

Kincaid flinched. Allowing his charge to be captured that day had been the single worst failure of his entire professional career. "I have fought against these so-called wizards dozens of times over the centuries. As long as you keep your distance there isn't much they can do to hurt you. Even a smooth-bore musket is more than enough to kill one of them."

"Your analysis is essentially correct: their internal magic is only useful in short-range engagements against an unprepared enemy. Despite these limitations I still believe Harry Potter can of use to me."

"Speaking of the idiot," Kincaid grumbled as he gestured toward the figure that was just now coming into view. "He is walking right into their ambush. Alone."

"Then it is a good thing that he has us," Ivy pointed out. "I expect single-shot kills with a minimal amount of muscle damage."

Her bodyguard responded with an insolent smirk as he brought a Heckler & Koch HK417 rifle up to his shoulder. Ivy had suggested using a fifty-round drum magazine, but Kincaid wouldn't hear of it. There were only nineteen goblins present in the Forbidden Forest, and he told her that a twenty-round clip was more than enough to deal with them.

Harry approached the single goblin standing out in the open, and the two began talking. Finally the smaller creäture produced a parchment which obviously held the contract they wanted him to sign. Harry read it for a few moments and then began shouting. At this point the goblin signaled his warriors to come out of hiding, and they quickly surrounded the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Now," Ivy said quietly as she dropped the veil which had hidden them. Kincaid always complained that the magic threw off his optics by at least two or three millimeters.

The first ten goblins were dead before any of them realized what was happening. The other nine only had a second to turn their bodies towards the source of the gunfire, but that simply made it easier for Kincaid to target their vital organs. Just three seconds after the first shot Harry Potter was the only thing left alive in the now-bloody forest clearing.

"You were saying something about needing a fifty-round drum magazine?"

Ivy rolled her eyes at Kincaid's macho posturing. "Stay here and keep a watch out for the centaurs or that demi-giant they employ at the school. I want to have a private conversation with Mr Potter."

She expected the poor boy to be in shock, but he seem to be coping with the situation well enough. "Are you alright?"

"You know Ivy, for someone who has to stay neutral you've a bad habit of sticking your nose in my business. And thanks for suggesting the Forbidden Forest as a meeting spot," Harry added sarcastically.

"If you had agreed to a meeting at Gringotts were would have been no way for me to protect you."

"Fine, then explain to me why you would want to protect me in the first place!"

"As I told you before the Archive was design to be neutral at all times, but there is one very important... loophole. I am allowed to use my powers to defend not only myself, but also my family."

"We're not related, are we?" a confused Harry asked.

"No, we are not related."

They were literally hundreds of ways for her to seduce the boy, but only the truth would give her what she wanted. Despite having the experience of five thousand years to draw upon Ivy couldn't help but blush as she continued. "But you are of superior genetic stock, so I want you to impregnate me."

That wasn't what Harry was expecting. At all. "You saved me from the goblins because you want to have sex with me?"

"This is not about sex—it is about the future of the Archive," Ivy explained. "You are the most powerful wizard in your little world, and there is an eighty-six percent probability that our hypothetical daughter would have a similar aptitude."

"That's crazy. I've seen your brand of magic, and it is way more powerful than mine."

"I have told you before that the types of magic we practice are very different. Your magic is created inside of your body," Ivy said as she placed her hand on his chest. The two virgins had led very sheltered lives, and they both blushed at this small but intimate gesture. "I draw my magic from the surrounding enviroment, and focus it with my mind. Here, let me show you."

Ivy then raised her arms and began summoning the magic that was concentrated so heavily in the Forbidden Forest. Harry could actually feel the energy flow by him as it gathered in the young girl's hands. Soon a large Rune made of pure light was floating in the air between them. "Don't be alarmed—I am simply going to reanimate these creatures." Suddenly the rune exploded out towards the goblin corpses and caused them to glow. After a few seconds they all stood up and began to gather their dropped weapons.

"You just made Inferi," a horrified Harry said.

Ivy started laughing. "I glad you have a sense of humor. It will make living together in the future much more pleasant."

"So these things are not Inferi?"

"Comparing my Zombies to Inferi is like comparing the Sistine Chapel to a crayon drawing done by a preschooler," Ivy replied. "These reanimations will pass right through all of Gringotts' magical defenses, and they will have no problem slaughtering every single creäture living in the building and the caverns below."

"You are going to kill all the goblins at Gringotts just because they threaten to enslave me?"

"As long as I consider you my mate I can do whatever I feel is necessary to protect you from any threats you might face," Ivy informed him as the dead goblins began marching into a strange hole that she had created in the side of one of the larger trees.

"Where does that hole take them to?" Harry asked.

"Nevernever."

"OK, the goblins are going to Never Never Land. Look this whole "let's have babies together" business is very flattering but..."

"I would strongly recommend that you not finish that sentence," Ivy snapped. "I am giving you one hundred days to think over my proposal. Only when that deadline has passed will I accept your answer."

"And if you don't like the choice I make?"

"Harry, the goblins were the least of your worries. This summer is going to be full of surprises for you," Ivy said with a cryptic smile just before she vanished into thin air.