Time Enough
He was riding the bus home after substitute teaching the Adult School class. He had been ready to head home when the call came: Are you available to teach tonight. It was his birthday. He really didn't know what his girlfriend had planned, so he had called her. She hadn't answered the house line at their shared apartment, but she had picked up her cell phone when he called that. She had said that it would be fine, the money would be good and anything she may have planned for his birthday would be just fine a couple hours later. She had seemed a bit distant, but she probably had a bunch of people showing up for his twenty third birthday, and now had to deal with them.
Life was pretty darn good. He had the girl of his dreams, and she had him. He had put her through college, she just having graduated last spring. She now had a good job, and was putting him through school. She had wanted to do this the other way around, with him finishing college first, but this worked out better for the two of them. She even admitted he was right, again… he chuckled.
They had moved in together in their small apartment by UOW nearly three years ago. The apartment was in a great area, and the rent was cheap. With school and living expenses, they hadn't been able to put any money aside. But there was plenty of time for that, so… things were just fine, just as they were.
The bus stopped about a block from their apartment. He gathered his coat, backpack and computer bag and stepped down to the curb. He turned away from the bus and began the short walk home. This was his favorite part of his trip home. He had this little ritual on the walk. He would daydream about their wedding. It wasn't anytime soon. In fact they didn't know when it would be. Be he had asked and she had said yes and they talked over the details fairly regularly. It was one of those little rituals lovers have while laying in bed on Sunday mornings. He really couldn't wait.
The apartment was dark when he walked in. He looked around, expecting the 'happy birthday' yells to begin any second. But they didn't. He flipped on the lights and dropped his bags by the door, and hung up his coat. He ambled into the kitchen, where he saw the note on the counter.
It said that she still loved him but this guy she had been having lunch with from work had been promoted and he was leaving for his new position on the east coast and she just had too see where this 'thing' with him would lead and she hoped he wouldn't hate her and maybe they could still talk and she would be his best friend forever and… happy birthday.
The devastation was complete for a few weeks.
But, he lived. He found that he could indeed rely on himself for everything. Money got crazy. He had to really step up and work more now, and he did. It cost him another eighteen months to graduate, but he did, and then life got a bit easier. Time marched on, as it does whether you want it too or not. Time just doesn't give a damn.
He really hadn't had a moment to think about his 'singleness' while in school. Things were just much too intense with a full time job and full time school. Now, nearly six years after the birthday from hell, he had progressed. It didn't hurt as much at all, but it still did, kind of. Especially when staring into the fireplace on those long winter nights.
After college he had taken a second job for a little over a year. He surmised that he was used to working two jobs already, if you called college a job. With the extra income he had managed to pay off his student loans that had become necessary after the birthday from hell. He'd continued working the second job for a few months after and was able to purchase a nice little starter house. Starter houses are generally the provenance of young families. His neighborhood was no different. He was the only single person within blocks. Most of his neighbors were young couples with young families. Sometimes that hurt. He should be there, where they were, but he wasn't.
He wasn't happy, but he was content. So, he reasoned, if this is the hand he was dealt this is the hand he would play. He was good with all that. Although there had been a few opportunities, he had never dated anyone else.
She had called a number of times. He always let the calls go to voice mail, and he always erased them before listening to them. There was that one time he had made the mistake, took the call and it was her. She must have changed her number since it didn't ID. She had managed to get out a few words before he had hung up, and tagged the new number as hers. He continued to wonder why he just didn't either change his number or block hers. But he didn't.
He wasn't really sure just where she was, and kind of liked not knowing.
There was the other 'love' of his life. He smiled to himself whenever he thought of her. He really never had loved her, but she was good friend. The operative word being was. She had gone to college out of state, met the man of her dreams, and married him. Her husband, she had told him, was kind of the jealous type, and just didn't understand another 'man friend'. So, that had been that. He'd been invited, but didn't attend the wedding three or four years back. He had heard she'd had a kid or two and seemed very happy.
He was in his backyard. It was summer. One of those glorious weekend summer evenings. He had decided to barbeque. He'd picked up this huge steak at the store, and thought he could make sandwiches with the leftovers for about half the week it was so big. He heard the side gate open, but didn't pay it any mind. The neighbor kids had permission to enter his yard at any time to retrieve balls, toys… whatever.
He felt the presence and turned to see which neighbor kid it was… it was her. She stood stock still, not three feet from him. She was very nervous, and switched between examining his face then her shoes. He was dumbstruck.
She said she had rung the front door bell a few times and then smelled the barbeque. She said she was so very sorry things had happened the way they did, and said she realized she had been awful. She said that things hadn't worked out between her and the other fellow, and she had been afraid to come back, afraid he hated her…
"Do you… hate me?" She asked.
He shook his head, no.
She nodded and he could tell things were welling up inside her, ready to explode. She hated it when she cried, and he knew it. He decided to sidestep the tension and asked if she had eaten, if she was hungry. She looked at him with those eyes, those gorgeous eyes, and silently nodded, then a flicker of a smile.
"I'm starved." She said.
The ice was broken. They ate and talked about nothing really, nothing serious anyway. They enjoyed the evening on his tiny little patio. Soon, it was dark. He invited her in for some coffee. She happily accepted. He was grinding the beans when he finally decided to ask her.
"Why are you here?"
She took the few steps toward him and faced him. She locked her eyes with his and placed her hands on his shoulders.
She sighed and broke eye contact, then resumed it.
"I came back for you…" She said.
He nodded, he understood.
She pulled him into a deep hug and began sobbing. Huge heart wrenching sobs. Between them she told him that she loved him, always had. She knew she was horrible and was afraid he would just throw her out. She wanted him back so badly she could taste it. God's why did she have to be so stupid, do such a stupid thing… she was so very sorry. Was there a chance?
She sobbed.
He nodded.
She kissed him.
She kissed him with such fervor they both nearly fell to the floor. The kiss was filled with pent up emotion and hope… and love.
He could tell.
He could feel it all.
He kissed her back.
Things progressed. Articles of clothing littered the floor between the kitchen and his bedroom. Their lovemaking had been the same as the kiss… Carnal, animalistic and gentle all rolled into one fleeting group of moments.
They lay panting, holding each other, caressing each other.
Loving each other.
Soon, she was asleep.
He took his phone and went out on his tiny patio and made a couple calls. He got out a pair of sweats for her. He showered, and joined her in his bed.
He woke her up with gentle kisses and they made love again. Slowly, gently… so unlike the last time. Afterward he asked her if she would like to shower. She said yes, and did so.
He had made coffee.
She dressed in the sweats he had given her. Her meager backpack rested against the wall near the front door. They drank coffee and chatted before he asked her if she had made any plans on where she was staying. He had thought not, but just asked to make sure. She smiled and answered that she had hoped she could stay here, with him.
He nodded.
Just before midnight the doorbell rang. They had been sitting in the front room. He told her to come with him to the door, since this was really for her.
"A midnight snack! You are just too wonderful." She exclaimed.
He turned too her, grimaced a bit, and then smiled.
He opened the door and handed the taxi driver her backpack. He gently nudged her out the door while telling her that a one way airline ticket to New York was waiting for her at the Flyways Airline check in desk.
He closed the door.
Within the same minute he heard the taxi's doors close, and pull away. He peeked out the window, to make sure she was in the cab.
She was. Blond hair, blue eyes and all.
He wondered too himself if he had just made the greatest mistake of his life. But decided he hadn't.
He felt about the same.
He still wasn't happy, but he was content.
Who knows where this came from!
But I know where it's going.
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