Title: To Fall

Rating: T for teen

Warnings: blood and violence, implied sexual content

Summary: Garrus gets into a bit of trouble while on the Citadel. Shepard has to go rescue him and finally asks about his strange behavior. Garrus/Fem!Shep

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review.

To Fall

"He's in one of our holding cells," the turian C-Sec officer told her. "Follow me."

Shepard held up her hand for Tali and Samara to remain behind. The quarian nodded and began toying with her omni tool. Samara inclined her head, folding her hands behind her back. Not waiting for her, the C-Sec officer walked away towards the holding cells. Shepard sighed once and began massaging the bridge of her nose, following him.

Just a few hours ago, she was peacefully reclined on her soft bed, propped against the head board, skin soft with a shower and real lotion from earth, a bottle of rum and a new book in her hands. Next moment, she was receiving a call from C-Sec. Someone had to go down and pick up ex-officer Garrus Vakarian, and it certainly wasn't going to be his father. So she'd agreed to pay bail and stared regretfully at her bed while tugging on her armor.

Garrus knew that the second she suggested 'blowing off steam' that she hadn't mean 'let's have sex once in a while'. The turian was in for the long haul whether he liked it or not, and Shepard had been very clear in her intentions to keep him. Their first night together had been great—well, if one could excuse that rocky start and the fact that Garrus had brought wine she couldn't drink. Their relationship had been solid, but there was a lingering shadow. Garrus continued to think of Sidonis, continued to relive that moment in his mind when he'd decided that maybe Sidonis could keep his life. Shepard understood. When Garrus had asked for some time off, she'd given it to him with a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder.

She hadn't expected to be posting bail only twenty-seven hours later.

There were other holding cells, several people glaring at her through the glass as she passed by. It seemed that Garrus was on the very end, and when they reached it, the glass was illuminated so that she could see inside. The turian guard stopped and unlocked the door. "You've got a hell of a nice Commander here, Vakarian."

Shepard almost winced when she caught sight of him. He wasn't wearing his blue armor, repaired as she'd requested before he left, and the clothes he was wearing were torn in several places. She didn't know much about bruising on turians with their tough scales, but she figured by the way he sat that he had been injured in some way. Purple blood was dripping off one of his mandibles. His sniper visor was gone.

"Oh, you reckless turian fool," Shepard sighed, her slight accent making the words sound more tender than she actually felt.

"Shepard?" he groaned.

The guard at her side nodded once, hand at his ear. "You can take him. The money's gone through."

"Could you give us a minute?" she asked the guard. He mandibles flared once at Garrus before leaving them there, the door wide open. After he was gone, Shepard walked over and held out her hand. Garrus took it in an instant.

"What are you doing here, Shepard?" he groaned, getting to his feet.

"I got a call from Bailey. He said that a friend of mine got drunk in the Dark Star and try to beat up an officer. Turian, blue facial markings, deep voice, blue armor...know him by any chance?" For a minute, he was reminded of his first moment awakening on her ship, begging her not to make him laugh because his face was barely holding together. As Garrus shakily climbed to his feet, he tried not to pull too hard on Shepard's hand. Sore as he was, it was a miracle he got up at all. Even more astounding, he managed to stand straight.

Shepard's eyes raked over his form, taking in the tattered clothes, the smell of turian alcohol, and the blood. She didn't look him over with disappointment like he'd been expecting. Instead, it was a sort of resigned understanding. Shepard always understood, it seemed. No matter the circumstances. Her tiny human hand brushed something off his shoulder, remaining there like an anchor as she smiled up at him sadly. "Why is it always your face? I think you're trying to get me to leave you. It won't work."

He chuckled throatily. "None of my plans ever do."

For a moment, something like pain flashed in her eyes, but she recovered quickly. Shepard smiled and patted his shoulder, letting her hand fall. "Come on. Let's get you back to the ship and patched up."

Garrus tried not to wince as they walked down the hallway. The lights scorched his pulsating brain. Every movement hurt. He tried to ignore it. Guards on every corner inclined their heads to Shepard. She was a respected public idol among aliens, having saved the council during Sovereign's attack. Commander Shepard returned the gestures mutely, walking a little slower than usual. The slight slump in her shoulders and the bags beneath her eyes told him she was exhausted yet again. Working herself to death. He'd probably interrupted her sleep.

At the end of the hallway, Bailey was engaged in a conversation with Tali. He looked up when they approached. Extending an arm, he shook hands with Shepard. "Thanks for coming down, Commander. I know it's late. We didn't want to keep him overnight."

"I understand," she answered. "Looks busy tonight."

Bailey glanced around. "Yeah, we've got a homicide on the five hundred block. We're swamped. I probably won't get home for a few more weeks after this."

"Don't you ever go to sleep, Captain Bailey?" Tali piped. Even she sounded slightly worn out.

"Not until I have to," he replied seriously. "My work's never done, it seems. Thanks again, Commander. If you need anything, let me know. I've gotta get back to work." With that, he slid fluidly back into his chair and clicked on the communicator. Immediately voices flooded the wire. A secretary came bustling towards him with a datapad, unspoken questions on her ruby lips.

Shepard nodded. "Of course." She turned to her team and began leading them towards the docks, Garrus right behind her. It was strange, she thought, having three people following instead of two.

"Keelah, Garrus," Tali murmured. "What did you do to yourself?"

Garrus didn't answer, but Tali hadn't expected him to.

Once Shepard had dismissed both Samara and Tali and convinced Garrus that there was no way he was going to attend his own wounds and leave her again, she borrowed some medication and bandages from Dr. Chakwas and steered Garrus towards the elevator. Once inside the loft, she instructed him to wait while she changed.

Instead of changing back into her silk nightgown, she yanked on her casual clothes meant for wandering around the Normandy. After brushing her teeth, combing her hair, and washing her face, she waltzed out of the bathroom and picked up the bag of medical supplies next to the aquarium before descending the stairs and stopping just in front of Garrus.

"I leave you alone for a few hours and look what kind of mess you get yourself into," she clucked, sinking onto the bed beside him and grabbing a packet of medigel.

He didn't have an answer for that. Instead, he focused on the few details he had noticed while she was changing. There was a novel on the bed, thrown absently across a pillow. A half-drunk glass of red wine was perched on the end table, glossy lip prints pressed into the glass. Shepard's nightgown lay on the floor. The bed was unmade for once. When she applied the medigel to the cut on his face, he caught the scent of cinnamon. "You're wearing the lotion I bought for you," he accused.

Her eyes widened slightly, and a pink blush tinged her throat. "So? It was a nice gift."

Garrus's mandible quirked. "And you were wearing that nightgown, and the novel I bought on the citadel."

"What are you implying?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. Her hands stilled, and she glared at him. "Besides, we shouldn't be talking about that. What we should be talking about is why you decided to take a crack at that officer. Bailey said you were out of control when he got there." She gently touched the cybernetic graph on his face, fingers trailing over it.

The moment she brought it up, he tensed visibly. Shepard sighed and began working on his arm, using the gauze to gently wrap it. It was best to let the body heal minor injuries instead of instantly healing it. That way, the body wouldn't depend on outside influences to fix itself. She wrenched on a bit of tape and bit into it with her teeth, tearing off a generous amount.

"I don't know what I was doing," Garrus answered eventually, and Shepard paused in her ministrations. "I'm losing it, Shepard."

"Is this...? Is it because of Sidonis? Or...because of us? I don't-" she growled at herself, frustrated. "I'm just trying to understand here, Garrus."

He stood up and began pacing the room. Without his turian body heat, she was suddenly very cold and very lonely, but she sat patiently with her hands in her lap. Garrus paused in front of her, taking a breath, mandibles twitching. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought—I think we did the right thing. I just...I want him dead, Shepard. It just doesn't seem right that he gets to go on living. I think about it all the time. When I'm doing calibrations or when I'm eating and even when I'm with you sometimes. I just keep seeing him in my cross hairs. All I had to do was pull the trigger—you were the only thing in the way."

She stood up. "So is it...are you angry with me? For convincing you to let him go?" The sadness in her voice had something like self disgust welling up inside of him.

"No!" he denied at once, talons grasping her shoulders. "You're always right. I trust that you are right. It's more like I'm angry at myself. I'm angry because he's haunting my every thought. And there's this horrible, gut-wrenching feeling that for a minute there, I was so obsessed with getting my revenge I might have killed you, Shepard. You were the only thing standing in my way."

To his utter surprise, Shepard chuckled. She actually chuckled. While he was standing there stunned at her response, she walked over to him and smiled. "Garrus, is that all?"

"What do you mean?" he demanded. Is that all? It had been bothering him since defeating the Collectors. How could she dismiss it so easily?

"I knew you wouldn't shoot me," she said.

He shook his head. "Yes, but I didn't. I could have killed you right there just to get at him."

"You wouldn't have," she replied easily, confident.

"But how do you know?" he pleaded, nearly desperate.

"Because I trust you."

The sentence hung in the air. Garrus didn't know what to say. The kind of trust she was talking about was different. He could tell by the way she said it. Trust had been purified by their relationship. Of course, he trusted her. He trusted her in ways he'd never thought he'd ever trust another person, let alone a human. She had trusted him with her life, even full of rage and hate and a lust for vengeance.

Shepard's hand came up to touch his face gently. She smiled and turned her back on him, rummaging through a drawer. She held up a tiny device, unfolding it with a mechanic whirring sound. Returning to his side, she placed it on the side of his face, hooking it there. His visor.

"That's better."

His throat closed up. After all of the things they'd been through, the choices she'd had to make, the sides of him she'd seen, to think that she was still so trusting...He didn't deserve her. "Shepard, I-" but she cut him off.

"Shhh," she said, putting a finger to his scaly mouth. "It's all right." And she hugged him around the waist. At first, he was a bit startled, but relaxed easily. His arms went around her shoulders, fingers sliding through her soft hair. She smelled of soap and cinnamon lotion.

"So if it wasn't because you missed me, why were you surrounded by my gifts?" he inquired teasingly.

She ducked her head against his chest, neck tinged pink again. "I did miss you."

"No matter how far I fall, you're always there to help me back up again," he breathed against her hair, nuzzling the soft strands.

"I won't let you fall too far, officer Vakarian," she smiled, pulling back but keeping his hand. She stepped backwards, leading him to the bed.

"I'll do whatever I have to in order to keep you by my side."

Shepard kissed him then, silencing all talk for the rest of the night.

Just a oneshot I wrote a while back and never finished. I have a lot of started-but-not-quite-finished-yet stories. I need to work on them. Review, please. Thank you.