*Hello everybody! I'm trying once again to write a Seddie. This one is going to be longer than the others though. If you are reading my other stories (Boston mostly) Sorry I haven't updated yet, I've been writing more; I've had so many ideas! Well thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it (: *

*Re-Edit} Hello all, I decided to try to tweak this chapter up a little bit. I really hope it changes it for the good. Thanks for reading (: Make a great day.*

{I don't remember when I started to feel un-pretty. I don't remember when the smell of meat started to make me sick. I don't remember when I lost control…}

As I stumbled into Carly's bathroom after eating a whole plate of ham, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was disgusted. I'm not the same Sam I was three months ago. I'm skinny now. But eating all this meat is making it harder to stay that way. I should tell them; I mean they are my friends. I should make up some kind of excuse, like I just grew out of meat, or my Father's dying wish was for me to become a vegetarian… God I miss him so much.

My dad died a year ago. I didn't tell them though. I told them he had run off and married some red-head bitch and moved out of town to start a new family without us. I told them he had walked out on us. I don't know why I lied to them; I guess I just don't like when people die because everyone is all like 'I'm Sorry' and saying things they don't mean. I don't want people feeling sorry for me so I figured if I made it sound like he was a douche and I hated him, then it would be fine. It's not like he was around when he was alive anyway. He was always 'Pursuing his dream' of selling ham on the subway (Maybe that's why I liked ham. ) and either didn't come home until late or just didn't come home at all. The night he died, he was visiting Melanie at her fancy little boarding school…

I was sitting on the couch eating some ham and waiting for my mom to come home. It had been an uneventful day and I wanted to ask her if she went to the store; Or if she would at least give me the money so I could.

My mother worked at as a receptionist at the Taynue Spa and Salon so I often stayed up to hear her stories about the whiny girls who come through there. My mother stumbled through the door an hour early, loud and clearly upset. I watched as new tears slid down her face when she saw me looking at her from the couch.

"Mom…" I started, partially standing and wondering what the hell had happened.

"Sam, Samantha… Your father… passed away. Melanie just called… She… said he was shot…Leaving the… school…" She broke off in a sob.

My brain froze then. I couldn't think. All I could see was my father; Memories of him. Going to the park… the beach… him walking out the door… I was overtaken by a mountain of memories, good and bad. My mother seemed to notice and stayed quiet too. We both gasped as we heard it, my plate falling to the ground. I watched it fall, watched the ham flip off of the plate and onto the floor…

I felt my eyes watering. No. Not here. Not now. It's amazing how much I remind myself of him. We had so much in common… shook my head, trying to forget. I looked again at my reflection. I squeezed my stomach and saw a tiny fat roll. I walked over and got on my knees next to the toilet. As the vomit left my mouth, I heard the door open and a gasp.

Freddie POV

"I gotta pee." Sam announced as Carly took her empty plate of ham to wash it.

"That's nice to know," Carly joked. Sam stood up and I couldn't help but notice how much thinner she looked. Before, she was perfect; she was skinny with the perfect amount of curves, looking like she just walked out of a magazine. There seemed to be a slight change, she was smaller, I knew it. I had this sudden urge to reach out and hold her. Feel how tiny her waist has gotten.

I watched her as she walked away; she looked smaller and smaller as she disappeared down the hall. I made sure no one was watching and was glad to see that Carly and Spencer were arguing and making spaghetti tacos. I slowly and quietly crept his way down the hall and stood in front of the bathroom. I'm not sure what brought me to do this; I mean who stands outside of the door while people pee? But some voice in the back of my head urged me forward, telling me it was more complicated than that. I heard her shuffling around a little bit. I was just about to turn and head back when I heard her retching. I didn't think, I just barged through the door to see Sam leaning over the toilet throwing up.