I really, really love Clare and Eli as a couple. They're my favorite part about Degrassi this season, hehe. Especially Eli! Hope you enjoy this fanfic, I think I'll enjoy writing it. Taking some liberties with the story, though… kind of ignoring the show for the time being, although I might make some references to it, like the headphones and Clare's situation with her parents. Stuff like that. But forgive me if it's inconsistent, just trying to play it in a way that makes this work. Thanks and enjoy!

I Don't Feel Like I'm Falling

Chapter One: A Little Awkward

Clare's feelings about Eli were a little more complicated than "like" or "dislike". He was the level of gorgeous that made her knees weak… the level of gorgeous that, whenever they would get into one of their fake arguments and he gave that unjustifiably beautiful smirk, she wanted to either punch or kiss him. It was so unfair. Her feelings were probably closest to 'love'.

As for the kissing or punching part, where she was leaning towards now was an entertaining development. She found herself actively doing the former. That's right, she was kissing Eli.

… or rather, Elijah Goldsworthy was kissing Clare Edwards, and she wasn't kissing back.

It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss back… she was in a state of shock, honestly. They had been "flirting", if that's what it was, but, for it to lead to kissing?

At first it had been an argument about music. Eli was justifying his obsession with screamo music, and Clare was jokingly making fun of it. It went to another level when, "infuriated" by her lack of appreciation for his taste in genres, Eli began wrestling with Clare. She played along and was putting up quite the fight, mostly because Eli was letting her, but then he pinned her arms above her head, them still on her bed, and they stayed in that position without speaking for a few seconds that lasted forever.

Her parents were at work for quite a while still, so they weren't worried about getting caught. They just stayed like that as her computer played Eli's favorite music, looking into each other's eyes and waiting to see what would happen. Who would break?

At this point, Clare hadn't thought she would reject him. It's funny how your mind goes blank in these situations… or rather, you have a consistent, droning thought that is so unchanged and out of your control that it becomes like white noise.

'I want to kiss you…' over and over and over, their heart beats and thoughts in perfect unison. Neither had ever felt anything like that before in their lives. The only way it could be described was, they completely belonged to each other. Physically and emotionally, they were each others prisoners.

Such a beautiful moment.

Their eyes went from each others eyes to their lips.

Eli licked his in preparation, and Clare did the same.

Eli leaned towards those tempting lips, and Clare did the same.

She closed her eyes, wondering how much longer this would take… so much anticipation it was painful, she just wanted him to hurry. If she weren't so paralyzed by how wonderful this moment was, she would close the gap herself, but she couldn't. She couldn't risk ruining this.

Instead of closing his eyes, Eli took the moment to just gaze at her. There was no way someone could look so… sexy, was there? Her lips glistening, slightly parted… Her eyebrows brought together, shallow breathing that coincided with his, and eyes tightly shut, although he wished he could look at them just a little more, he was certain that breathtaking shade of blue would break him. Clare's expression was a combination of desperation, and nervousness. She was even shaking a little bit. Almost too perfect to touch… almost.

Finally unable to resist, he closed that barely existent gap with an explosion of every feeling he had for this amazing girl.

… But why wasn't she kissing back? Had he somehow misunderstood this situation? Was that even possible?

Thus, they found themselves here, awkwardly staring at each other. Both contemplated apologizing, but Eli didn't regret what he did, completely certain that she wanted it as much as he did, and she wasn't sure what specifically she would be apologizing for. If she said, 'Sorry I didn't reciprocate', he would, understandably, ask why, and she didn't have the answer for that.

He let go of her wrists and sat himself up, still over her, and Clare used her now free hand to play with her purity ring. He eyed this gesture and was immediately offended.

'Did she think that I was going to force myself on her? Does she really think that lowly of me? Since when does a kiss make her impure?' Eli thought. He shook his head and took a few deep breaths, trying not to get so intensely offended by a simple gesture. She hadn't meant anything by it.

Clare was horrified by his reaction. It was then she got the courage to apologize. There was no way she could handle him hating her.

"E-Eli… I'm sorry… I-"

"Why? Why are you sorry? What just happened?" he said in a shockingly quick but hushed manner. He was obviously holding back as much as possible.

She really, really hurt him.

"B-because… I don't know why, maybe I was just… shocked… I don't know… But I really… You mean so much to me, in that way too… I just…" she stuttered, on the verge of tears. She managed to hurt someone so important to her. He was the last person in the world she wanted to hurt. "Don't hate me…? Please don't hate me, I just… need to go slow…"

Eli kept his eyes closed and breathed a little bit before nodding with a sad, but forgiving smile. He then moved off of her lap and sat beside her, laying on his back. "Don't worry, I 'forgive' you." He smirked. "Wish you could've said that before I got all… into it, haha."

'This boy is so perfect,' Clare giggled a bit. She decided to cuddle into his side a bit. Whatever they were… friends, or more than that… she figured this much was alright. As tempting as it was, she deciding asking him to put his feelings for her into words was a little unfair right now, and of course that meant she wasn't obligated to do so right now either. Maybe soon, though, she decided.

They just laid there for an hour, relaxing, listening to each other breath, humming to the music. They didn't talk because they didn't have to. Just laying there like that, it was enough. Words might ruin the moment.

When it became time for her parents to return home, though, they agreed it was time for Eli to go. Between Morty, Eli's slightly… unorthodox and, for her parents, potentially horrifying clothing style… this intimacy that would make any father furious… Too many factors for her parents to handle at once. So, with a long, tight hug they bid each other a good night and separated.

Clare wasn't surprised by how cold everything became after he left, she sort of expected it. He was so warm.

'Oh well,' she sighed, 'Can't really help it.'

There was always tomorrow to flirt and tease and hug him, right? Until then, there was the jacket he 'forgot' in her room. She definitely wasn't going to bring that up to him any time soon.

END.

It's a very, very short chapter. But that was definitely the longest 'kiss' scene I've ever written, let alone a 'not kiss' scene, haha! It was a lot of fun to write this. Everyone seems to be writing stories according to the show and there hasn't been a lot of conflict between Eli and Clare in terms of their relationships so it just kind of… works out… which I love, but for the sake of this, I'm definitely gonna have to use some KC scars and parental drama as a resistance factor, regardless of how much of a factor it is in the show.

Hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review, it's my fuel!