This story is... interesting. At least I think so. I hope you all do as well.

I do not own Naruto

Chapter One: Awakening

At four A.M. a young, blonde teen awoke to the sound of an alarm clock. He didn't move at first, simply groaning. After a mew moments he lifted one well muscled arm up and pressed the button on his alarm clock to turn it off. The teen lay there for a few more minutes before sitting up from his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his blue as the sky eyes.

He moved to one side of the bed and set his feet on the floor. Finding the wooden floor surprisingly cold he glared down at it with a sleep addled gaze.

The blonde's eyes suddenly widened and he jumped from the bed to a corner of the room and looked around. He was standing in a somewhat sloppy Tae-kwon-do stance as he scanned the room for any form of life besides his own. A scrabbling sound in the wall behind him had him throwing a hard punch at it. His fist went through the drywall and cracked a beam in half. The mouse that had made the sound was pulled out by it's tail, squeaking in understandable fear.

The blonde held the mouse infront of him by its tail for a moment longer before he set it in the palm of his right hand. He watched it for a few moments as it sniffed at him. He could hear it's tiny heart beat slow down as it discovered he wasn't really a threat. He frowned slightly at that, but filed it away for later. First he needed to figure out where he was.

"I don't suppose you know what's going on, ne?" He said, then startled a little at that. Was that really his voice? He cleared his throat and decided to try again, "I am..."

He was brought up short by yet another oddity. This one, though, was far more serious.

"Who am I?" He had no idea. He tried doing everything he could think of to remember it and it only served to show him that he knew next to nothing about himself.

It was just so... weird. He could remember the date, he remembered that he was a ninja for a village called Konoha. He knew two martial art forms, a standard karate stance that he wanted to call the Academy Ryu, and Tae-kwon-do. He knew what chakra was, or at least the basic theory of what it was, and knew a few techniques.

But he could not, for the life of him, remember where he was, why he had become a ninja, or any time training. He couldn't even remember what he looked like. Hell, as said above, he didn't even know the sound of his own voice.

He scanned the room for a second and saw two specific things he hadn't acknowledged on his first pass. The first was a band of blue cloth with a metal plate attached. The plate had a glyphic symbol carved into it that he recognized as the mark of his village. The second was an ID. The picture for the ID showed a widely grinning blonde teen with whisker marks on his cheeks. The boy was wearing the headband found next to the ID.

"U-zu-ma-ki," The blonde teen sounded out, "Na-ru-to. Age thirteen, gennin rank." He mused over this information as he picked up the headband. Just faintly he could see his own reflection in it, and from what he could see he was the spitting image of the smiling kid.

He looked back to the mouse he'd put on the bed. It was sniffing around, looking for a bit of food.

"You sure you're not part of this?"

The mouse's answer was to jump down off the bed, run across the cold floor and scramble under the door. The blonde looked at the ID and the headband one more time before slipping the ID chain over his neck and putting the headband where it was in the photo. He then followed the mouse to the door and opened it.

He imediately slammed it shut again. He gagged at the plethora of smells that had assaulted him and had to concentrate very hard on not regurgitating what little there was in his stomach. Luckily he won that small battle, but he was determined not to exit through that door again. He wondered if he had the money to have cleaning his apartment made into a D-ranked mission.

He didn't even pause to wonder how he knew that a D-rank was basically a chore. At this point he had accepted that there was a lot that he knew for no apparent reason.

Having decided to exit the room through the window to avoid that horrible smell again he set about searching the room. In the nightstand he found a frog shaped wallet that he found to be... well, a little immasculating, to say the least. He set it on the nightstand next to the clock and resolved to buy himself a new wallet. In the closet he found, what some might call, clothes. Jumpsuit after jumpsuit all in a shade of orange he found to be vile. It was almost as if that color had violated his senses. He then resolved to also buy new clothing.

He grabbed the frog wallet, emptied it of money, and exited through the window, wearing only his black pajama pants, his headband, and his ID. He stood on the balcony of the room he just exited and stared out over the vast city. The monuments in the distance made him pause.

"Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Namikaze Minato..." He knew their names, but nothing else. He had no idea if they were old, but alive, long dead, or if they were even fictional characters.

"I'll ask about that when I request the mission to clean this place," He gave a wary glance over his shoulder as if to make sure some sludge monster hadn't followed him out the window.

From there the teen, Naruto, descended to street level. It was a short trek from there to the market district. There he discovered another oddity surrounding everything.

The people.

They were curteous enough, none of them glared or sent words of spite his way, but he got the feeling that the majority of them would rather see him dead than perusing their wares. He frowned lightly at this, but brushed it to the side in his thoughts so he could find a decent set of clothes.

After what felt like hours of searching he found a shinobi supply store. Inside he found clothing, knives, exploding tags, taijutsu handbooks, Bingo books, sword, manuals on proper tutoring methods, jutsu scrolls, if it was nija related this store by god had it!

Checking the amount of money he had on him and finding it to be quite satisfactory Naruto went to work. First he picked out some chest armor, grey with chrakra reinforced plates. Next was a pair of black, loose but not baggy, pants. This was followed by a good sent of black shinobi sandals. Finally, clothing wise, he bought a pair of fingerless gloves.

Then he moved on to weapons and weapon supply. First was the basics, kunai, shuriken, pouches, some thin but strong wire. He then moved on to specialties. He picked up ten explosive tags and, the most important in his eyes, a sword. A nodachi to be precise.

At four feet long the nodachi was only a foot shorter than he was tall without the hilt of the blade. The hilt added it was about three inches longer than he was tall. He knew that to some it would be cumbersome, especially considering his current lack of height, but it felt right in his hands.

The price of all this supplies cut his funds clean in half. He was lucky he hadn't wanded to buy more than one set of clothes or it might have cleaned him out. With how his stomach was growling as he left the store, nodachi strapped to his back, it was good thing he still had some money

.

He stopped in at a grilled meat vendor who, like the others, treated him with begrudging etiquet. Feeling like an imposer, Naruto ate quickly and left.

It was at exactly eight thirty A.M. that he suddn'y remembered that he should be at training ground seven two and a half hours ago. He beat feet to the training ground on a route he knew the same way he knew the names of the faces on the monument with a surprising amount of speed.

It felt like it took at most six or seven minutes to cover as many miles to reach the grounds.

And once he arrived he was imediately assaulted by a pink haired girl with green eyes wearing a red dress.

First she assaulted him with a sonic blast.

"YOU'RE LATE, NARUTO!"

And then she tried to assault him physically. I say tried because when she threw a punch at the boy he reacted instinctually.

Naruto caught the fist, jabbed her in the throat to cut off her voice, twisted her arm, and then spun her around, one hand keeping her arm locked and another wrapped around her neck with a kunai in hand, the ultra sharp blade at her throat.

The girl was wheezing and struggling and trying to curse at him all at the same time. When she tried to elbow him with her free arm he jerked her locked arm upwards, getting a choked yelp of pain for it.

As he held her in that lock he looked to the other person in the imediate vicinity who was giving him a look that almost screamed, 'What the hell are you doing, idiot?'

Naruto for all intents and purposes ignored the other boy who appeard to be about his age and height, though he never took his eyes off of him, and asked the girl some questions.

He spoke in a voice only loud enough for her to hear, "Who are you?"

She gasped for a couple of seconds then ground out hoarsely, "You..." she coughed, "You know who I am, you moron! Let me go!" Despite the blade at her throat she appeared unafraid. He decided she needed some incentive.

He jerked her arm upwards again getting another cry of pain.

The other boy by this point was getting ready to act it seemed as he took a step forward and said, "That's enough, dobe, let her go."

Naruto ignored him and asked again, "Who are you?"

The girl by now had tears coming out of her eyes as she said, "S-Sakura... Haruno Sakura!"

The other boy was actively coming closer now, no longer just making threatening movements, and that did not make Naruto comfortable.

"Tell him to stop," Naruto commanded Sakura.

"Sasuke, stop," She said, her voice slowly going back to normal.

He didn't.

Naruto put the knife closer to her neck, drawing a little blood.

"Stop there! Or I slit her throat!"

That gave the black haired boy pause and he was now glaring at Naruto.

"What the hell are you doing idiot!" The black eyed young man demanded.

"Why don't you tell me? I was minding my own business when this bitch," He gave her arm another jerk and got yet another cry of pain, "screams at me and attacks. What the fuck is going on? I'm wearing the same headband so that shouldn't be any reason to attack. Unless the two of you are spies, in which case I should just kill the both of you now and report to the Hokage," He pressed the blade deeper against her neck, getting a little more blood.

The last thing he saw before blacking out for no apparent cause, was the look of utter outrage on Sasuke's face.

When Naruto next awoke he was looking into the face of a very old man with a goat beard and a wooden pipe hanging out of his mouth. The man was scrutinizing him with an apathetic gaze. Inspecting him really.

Naruto was not really quite awake yet. If he was he would have noticed that the girl that assaulted him and the boy with her were also in the office. Standing beside them was a tall man with wild silver hair, one eye covered by his headband.

Gradually, over the next few minutes, he became fully aware. He noticed the others and glared at the two teens, then glared harder at the silver haired man when he realized he was most likely the one that knocked him out.

He stopped glaring at the silver haired man, who was ignoring him by reading a book, when the old man spoke, "Would you mind telling me what you were thinking, attacking your teammate?"

Naruto looked at the old man, who he now noticed was wearing the robes of the Hokage with the symbol for 'Third' on them. He paused in thought for a moment before he sighed.

"I am havin' a hell of a day, Hokage dude."

Sarutobi frowned lightly at that. The attitude so far was obviously Naruto, but the response was slightly different, "Would you care to explain further, Naruto?"

"Well, I could, but I'll just sum it up real quick for you," He straightened his back, worked a Kunai into his hands, and cut his bindings. Sakura flinched when he stood up, but Naruto ignored that. He walked to the Hokage's desk, planted his hands on the top, leaned in close, and said, "I don't know who you are, I don't know who they are," he gestured to the two teens and the wild haired man then put a hand on his chest, "I don't even know who the fuck I am. I wake up in an apartment I assume is mine, the living room smells like death and the closet is full of clothing of such a horrendous color that it burned my eyes. On my way to buy what I'm currently wearing with half the money I found in some gay little wallet on my table all the civvies," He gestured out the window now to the populace of Konoha, "look at me like I'm some kind of pariah they are forced to live with. When I finally get to training ground, and don't ask me how I knew I should be there 'cause I have no clue, some crazy bitch-"

"Hey!"

"-attacks me for no god damn reason! How the fuck would you have responded?"

+-End Chapter One!