Three.

Dear World,

Contumacious.

What does it take to work up the bravery to go against all you've ever believed in? How much does it take nowadays for a person to break out of their captive sanctuary and step outside their comfort zone? How much does one require to erase all their lines and actually go outside of the box? How much does it take to rebel? Personally, I think it's all an illusion. Yet, we only live our lives, as if we want to get the most of what we've been given before we reach our inevitable expiration dates. So, why live it with restrictions? I'm not saying you should go out and do something stupid like drink and drive or do major drugs or drink bleach or any of that bullshit. I'm simply stating that when spontaneous chances appear before you, why don't you jump at it? Why are these people in our world so... safe? Me, I prefer to do things that appear to me. To live in the moment because truthfully, that may be the only moment you have. Then again, you shouldn't take advice from me. I'm in a mental institution. Probably with good reason.

Contumacious.

Boundaries are for bitches.

It's been nearly four weeks since the Starbucks incident and I had yet to hear from the curly-haired massacre. I spent endless hours pondering that night, doubting my actions and wondering if I'd done or said something that freaked him out. Then again, he was the one who asked if he could touch me and began making all these ludicrous (but extremely accurate) assumptions that I felt some sort of connection between us. I merely agreed with this and went along with it. Was that seen as weird? Maybe my impulsive decision making scared him off. Either way, I found it bothersome that he was on my mind constantly. Usually, I'm in control of my own thoughts but it seemed as though whenever I thought about anything, things would always find a connection that led my train of thoughts involuntarily back to Nick.

Annoyed with my own mental problems, I slowly began to change into my comfort clothes as I listened to the pumping music that came out of my headphones. I danced and sang quiet;y to the catchy tune of a new Ke$ha song as I pulled the somewhat tight fitting red shirt over my sweat-shorts. The top was somewhat new and read out, "TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL' across the chest substituting the two O's in cool for a pair of broken nerd glasses that had been repaired with tape. I smirked at myself as I put on a pair of thick black-rimmed glasses and posed in the mirror, like a boss. Sarcasm.

"I don't mean to critique on your seduction technique but your money's not impressing me, it's kinda weak. That you really you're gonna get my rocks off, get my top and socks off by showing me the dollars in your drop box. Me and all my friends we don't buy bottles, we bring em. We take the drinks from the tables when you get up and leave em." I sang to myself as I slid on red high-tops and tugged the elastic band out of my hair and leaving it on my wrist. Grabbing my key from the table, I exited the room with gum in my mouth and quietly began to sneak out of my ward. Of course, after curfew.

I didn't really have a plan as to what I was planning to do but I knew for sure that I didn't want to stay locked up in my room. Once more, I wasn't giving the proper response to my treatment and nurses seemed to stalk me wherever I went. It felt suffocating to have them on my back every step I took but I could somewhat understand the major precautions; a month ago (though I hate to admit it) I was doing pretty well. Steadily, I was heading down the right path and people were beginning to get their hopes up again but as usual, something went wrong and the scales dropped back down. To be completely honest with you, it all started a little after I first met Nick. But you know, that's probably just a coincidence.

Nicki Minaj suddenly began to sing as I crawled through the lobby to get outside. The quiet secretary had fall asleep but the video cameras hadn't. I cursed myself as I saw the faded color on my knees. That's what I get for all these late night sneak outs. I pulled a hat over my messy hair as I cut through the bushes behind my ward building towards my usual spot. The cold wind blew past me and I shivered quietly causing me to let out a small moan. It was slowly easing into winter and it was just a matter of time before I had to start wearing a jacket. The sun had already set and the moon was shining from what seemed like directly above as I began the long journey up the hill when suddenly something stopped me.

"All the times I tried to steal my best for you and I threw it up to keep it down and watch it burn, I hate the sound and I, I know just how you feel. 'Cause I don't know how it ever got away." I froze in my position and listened quietly to the soft voice coming from a distance. At first, I feared it was a security guard or somebody that would escort me back to my room (those bastards) but as I listened closely I was compelled with the urge to go forward. So I did.

"No, shit, fuck." The voice mumbled as it cleared its throat. "Cause I still feel all the things I did before. When you used to want it more. Eh, when you used to need it more. Yah," more mumbling, "Cause I still feel all the things I did before. When you used to need it more. Remember all the ways you fixed me, how?" More grumbling, "Well that's too fucking bad because you didn't fix me, you dirty whore." The voice chuckled, "That works."

I bent down behind a bush as I spotted a figure walking towards me. Who the fuck was that? Nobody that I knew had

enough nerves to sneak out past curfew (except for me) and barely any of them hung out by my ward. People always knew to stay away. I growled under my breath as the figure continued to walk and sing. I hate to admit it but the dude had a good voice. It was soft and innocent yet still husky and seductive at the same time.

"I lock the door. Turn on the water, bury that sound. So no one hears anything anymore. Mirrors lie to me, tell me you can see and maybe you won't be able to recognize me now. I know you can feel all the things you steal and you're taking it, you're taking it. Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones." By the tone of the voice, I could tell it was a boy. He had completely changed songs and was now singing in a depressing tone, an octave lower. Emotion hung on each word that left his lips and I had to bite down on my bottom lip so I wouldn't scream out. I had to get out of here and now.

Being what I thought was swiftly and quietly, I attempted to crawl out of the bushes, back up against the building and just maneuver myself back to my ward along the sides. Instead (and this could only happen to me), I ended up running into a couple of bushes, stepping on a (freakishly loud) twig and cursing aloud as I tried to find the building behind me. The figure's head suddenly snapped up in my direction and I thanked my lucky stars that it was too dark to see anything or anybody.

"Who's there?" His words lingered in the air as they echoed into absolute silence. I held my breath and squeezed my eyelids shut, involuntarily biting down hard on my bottom lip. What if this guy was a rapist? Though not many people get raped at a mental institution. What if he was a guy who kept rabbits in his basement? God, I hate those kinds of people. Or worse, what if he was Justin Bieber? Oh fuck no. Worry began to set in; if this guy was Justin Bieber then I would probably spontaneously combust from frustration and hatred. My guts would splatter all over his teen heartthrob face and he'd be scarred for life.

In case you hadn't notice, I'm not much of a fan.

I pressed my body against the wall as I waited for possibly Justin Bieber to walk away. Instead, he took another step closer and called out to me again, "I can see you. I know somebody's there! Seriously dude, what the fuck?" I can't even come to describe what came over me but instantly my feet began moving and I realized I was running back towards my ward. "What are you doing? Come back!" he called out, chasing after me as I sprinted as fast as my feet would carry me.

Luckily, I had the convenient advantage of a head start and managed to get to the ward entrance without company. My heart was racing as I leaned against the entrance doors and desperately tried to find my breath. I closed my eyes as I rubbed my face with my hands and tried to slow down my racing heart. That was just way too close.

"What the hell?" His voice was right beside my ear and caused me to jump with alertness. His hands were on either side of me pressing the walls and blocking every and all exits. His breath hit my neck as I sucked in a deep breath and bit on down on my lip. His eyes stared into my mine and I instantly got lost in his mocha orbs. Was it even logical for somebody to have such perfect eyes? If so, it was completely unfair that they'd gone to him. I breathed out as I found myself face to face once again with the unforgotten, Nick Lucas. The curly-haired massacre.

'Fancy seeing you here." I stated lamely as I blew the bangs out of my eyes. Nick chuckled and took a small step closer. Unlike him, I was very aware of the closeness between our two bodies. It was probably the reason my palms were so clammy and butterflies were having a lethal war in my stomach.

"Mi." he said quietly, "What is a good girl like you doing out here past curfew?" he said it as if he was trying to seduce me. To be honest, he could've said it normally and he would still achieve successful seduction. I dug my hands into my pockets and began to shift my weight from leg to leg. All nervous habits that I'd grown accustomed too. This boy was exhilarating; his very presence was enough to get me going. And I hated it.

What boner?

But no, in all seriousness, that was a joke.

"Nick." I said in the same tone, "What are you doing here at all? Shouldn't you be at home? It's nearly midnight." I asked quietly as if somebody was listening to our conversation. I'd been wondering about Nick a lot lately and why he was always at the institute if his mother was a therapist. It didn't make any sense whatsoever. Family relatives, friends or people with any personal relation to staff were not allowed on premises at any time unless otherwise directed. Nor were they allowed to register here. Something about favorable treatments or some bullshit that I could really care less about. Either way I knew for sure that Nick wasn't supposed to be here as often as he was and every time I seem to ask him about it, he'd always coax me into changing subjects. Smartass douchebag.

"What do you do out here?" he asked suddenly, tilting his head slightly to the right as he raised an eyebrow. "Not much to do when everything is closed and all the lights are out. What captures your attention?" You do. I wanted to say but didn't. He was truly an attractive man but his personality was a little bit insane. I could never keep track of him. Maybe it was because he was generally a confusing perrson. Or maybe just a really good liar.

"What I don't understand is," I smiled, "That I can be asked endless questions but you never seem to answer any of mine." I crossed my arms as I searched his eyes for emotion. He was lost for a second but instantly zoned back in moments later. Yet for that quick second when his mind was roaming, I couldn't help but wonder where he'd flown off too.

"I answer your questions." He said simply taking another step forward. I took another sharp breath and let it out slowly, flipping my bangs back into my face through the process. At this point, I was sure that he was playing me. I just couldn't figure out how or why. Ah, the complexities of Nicholas Lucas. "You asked me what my name was and I told you. You asked me why I'm always looking at you and I explained thoroughly. Or have you already forgotten me?" His expression was completely unreadable.

I shook my head, "No."

"No?" he asked, this time genuinely confused. Good, so I've somehow managed to get through to his untouchable emotions.

"No."

Nick scrunched up his eyebrows and licked his lips, he froze for a while before his moist lips parted and he whispered, "No what?" Simple words and a sensible question yet somehow I found the entire statement complex. Nick could just be complex, it's not like I care or whatever.

"I don't like this, Nick." He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I don't like whatever it is you're doing to me. This whole facade that you put up to make you seem all tall, dark and handsome. It's your vibe, again. Except this time it's not genuine. You're hiding something from me, and I don't care much for it so just keep your wall down." I said avoiding eye contact, "Stop pushing me away or whatever it is you're trying to do. It's impeccably frustrating." I said, ending off with a quiet whisper.

Nicholas smiled, a small, adorable and innocent smile as his hands slid from their original position and were shoved back into his pockets. He stared at me and I stared back and for a quick moment, we just looked at each other. Like, really looked at each other but the moment was broken when a frown appeared on Nick's face and he instantly turned away. I sighed and began to walk away when he stopped me, "What does a good girl like you do out after curfew, at midnight?" He asked again in a deep voice.

I froze, "She rebels." I whispered back, turning halfway to see his expression. He smiled.

"Rambunctious." He whispered staring at me for a second. "Mi, how about you and I break a few rules tonight?" he said as he swayed from side to side with his hands still in the pockets of his hoodie. I stared at him again, his curly locks forced under a black hat that easily blended into the night sky, his baggy grey hoodie that slung over his figure, his black jeans that fit his legs like normal jeans should and his face. His flawless, delicate and unforgettable face. His eyes shimmered with hope as his lips turned up into a half-smile. He taunted me with his expression as if he was nearly daring me to join him. I crossed my arms over my chest tightly as I took another step back. Declining his offer dramatically, I walked away from him and turned to enter my ward when suddenly a red flashing light erupted from nowhere and a loud siren began to fill the quiet, dark air.

He smirked, "I'll take that as a yes."

With his hand intertwined with mine, we ran off to the darkness.

No offense to people with cats in their basements, who love Justin Bieber or whoever may have been offended. I HAD TO RE-TYPE THIS WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTER BECAUSE I WANTED TO POST FOR YOU. Yeah, exactly. MY TWITTER USERNAME IS SLICEDHEARTZ, follow me and I'll love you again.

XOXO, Ray (My friends found a way to get Ray out of Deborah which is cool cuz Debb was getting boring. Either name is cool though)