Two man team

I can't say I was really pleased when Kate came to work with us. I was somewhat nervous, though I'd never tell anyone that. Not even Gibbs. Especially not Gibbs. Truth is, I'd gotten used to being a two man team. I liked it. I had all the Gibbs attention I could ever want, and I was finally starting to feel secure.

When I started working for Gibbs, we were a four "man" team. Actually, two men and two women; me, Gibbs, Vivian Blackadder and Samantha something. At least, I think her name was Samantha. She didn't stay long enough for me to remember, gone within a week of my starting. She told me to get the hell out too. I didn't listen. I never was very good at listening.

Gibbs is a hard ass. He lays down the law and your job had to come before the rest of your life. There was no room for screw ups. At least that is what it seemed like. He didn't baby anyone. Samantha whats-her-name couldn't handle it. One instance of Gibbs breathing down her neck and she was gone.

Vivian lasted longer. She didn't care if Gibbs yelled, but she also didn't care about being precise. That pissed Gibbs off and he let her go a few months after I joined. Then, it was just the two of us.

At first Gibbs rattled my cage. I was never sure if I was doing things right. I considered quitting when the team became just the two of us. I'd had a lot of hard ass coaches in college and even more hard ass teachers in military school. I wasn't afraid of being yelled at. Conversely, I was afraid of being fired. Out with the trash, just like my Dad would say.

Not long after he fired Vivian, he caught me writing a practice resignation letter. I told him I was just jumping ship before he could fire me. (Go me! I used a navy reverence at NCIS.) He asked me what I was planning to do to get myself fired. I huffed, and he grabbed the letter away from me. "I picked you DiNozzo, I'm trashing this." He explained throwing the letter in the garbage. "Not you. You want to quit, you talk to me first."

I know the statement doesn't sound like much, but you have to know Gibbs-speak. He was telling me I was worth it. And I hadn't heard that from anyone in a long time, so I stayed.

We worked cases for a few weeks before the director started harassing Gibbs about getting another team member. But Gibbs didn't budge. One day he came in with a beam on his face, and within moments of talking to the director, the beam was gone. So I had to know, why he wouldn't just pick another team member. After all he could just fired him/her if he/she sucked. We were out on a crime scene when I asked "Why don't you just hire someone new, Boss?"

"You saying I'm working you to hard DiNozzo?"

"No, No! I just …" I was tongue tied and had my foot in my mouth.

"Tutoring works better with one student" he responded, walking away before I could straiten my brain out.

That is when I realize this was more than just a job. Gibbs was training me. He saw my potential. I can't see my own potential, but he can. And I love him for that. Sometimes, he'd call me partner. Other times, he'd make me feel like I could save the world. During those months when we were a two man team, he pushed me hard, but I've never learned so much in my life. Not long after that conversation, the director quit bugging him to hire someone new.

Those were the days. I got all his attention, both good and bad. On bad days, it was difficult, but with every bad day came a good day. He'd grin when I got something right, and smirk when I did something silly. Sometimes I'd even get an "atta boy". It made me want to work ten times as harder. When I'd fail, he'd discipline me, but he'd always accept me as soon as the punishment was over. Accepting someone who had failed was a new concept for me.

I began to feel more confident. Not the fake "everything is great" confidence that I'd always shown to the world, but real confidence in my abilities as an investigator. He taught me his rules, and to pay attention to details. He taught me to notice the little things, and I taught him too. I know how to play people and he learn sometimes it was better to manipulate people instead of just intimidating them.

Every now and then I would unintentionally beg for an affirmation. I know it makes me sound like a little kid, but I was so hungry for positive affection I didn't really care. At first he would give in, but as he learned my tricks, he soon learned to turn the trick on me. He'd make me tell myself I'd done a good job before he would tell me I'd done a good job. That was one of the most important skills I learned from him. I'd never known that I could tell myself I'd done a good job. I grew inside, and the insecurities in my life shrank. Oh, they still rear their ugly head sometimes, but I really do have far more confidence now than I ever had.

But then we took the fateful trip to D.C. and Gibbs picked up Kate. I was mad, and I told him so. I stormed over to his house and into his basement the night we got back to give him a piece of my mind.

"What the hell, Gibbs. You think you could have mentioned to me you were hiring someone new? You could give me a little warning!" I huffed. My stance was solid and angry as I stood behind him, his back to me and his front to the boat. He just turned around quietly, directing me with his eyes to sit on the basement steps. I considered disobeying, but only for a second.

I sat down roughly, almost pouting, and glared. I was acting childish, and I recognize that now. But I was so worried I was being replace I wasn't thinking strait. I felt so angry. Now I realize I was scared.

Why did we need a new member? We had done great as a two man team. And, besides, I really liked it! I liked being the only one Gibbs had to teach, and the only one he would call for help. I liked spending time with him, and all the things I got to learn. And I especially like that I got all of his attention. Someone new would only mean that I had to share Gibbs. What if this new person was better than me? What if she always did everything right and never messed up? What if she worked harder and smarter than I did? Would I lose my spot?

As I glared at Gibbs, my mask was on as solidly as ever, but Gibbs just sighed. He reached for his bourbon, took a sip and offered me a glass. Angrily, I shook my head. I wasn't letting him off that easy. He should have talked to me before making such a big decision.

"Tony, you've learned a lot this past year. "he started. Oh great, I thought, here it comes. He called me Tony and he's talking about working together in the past tense. I froze with fear waiting for his next line. "It's time for you to take a step forward." He explained. I held my breath waiting for him to continue.

He looked confused at my posture, but then he figured out what was going on in my head. Sometimes I can't even tell what is going on in my head. And Gibbs might not get it right away either, but he tends to catch on faster than I do. This was one of those times.

"DiNozzo, I'm not getting rid of you. You need to learn a new skill, how to lead."

I'm sure I looked dumbfounded for a full minute after that statement. I hadn't thought of hiring Kate as something he was doing for me. Even when hiring someone new, Gibbs was still looking out for me. I'm sure he had other motives, but the fact that he had considered how the hire would affect me, made me all tingly inside. I mattered! After a moment I asked in a whisper, "Lead?"

Gibbs smiled. I haven't seen Gibbs smile much in my life, but I cherish every time he does. "Yeah, you need to learn to lead, Senior Field Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

My heart skipped a beat when he said that.

"I kinda like that title." I replied with a grin. And from then on I used Senior Field Agent as my title. I was proud of that designation, not just because I earned it, but because Gibbs had given it to me. Hiring Kate was the end of the two man team, but the beginning of a whole new chapter in what I was learning from Gibbs. And like a sponge, I was ready to soak up anything he was willing to teach me.