A/N: AHHH! The last chapter! I don't know yet about an epilogue, but I'm listing this as complete. Maybe I'll write one, maybe I won't.

A few things about this chapter: instead of it being like the others, with the present being first and the past being second, it's the other way. You get the past, and then the present. The past part is sad, and the present part isn't, and I just didn't want to end this on that kinda note, you know?

Anyway, this chapter relates the first few chapters in about a million ways, and I've been planning it forever, so if you wanted to re-read those, it would really enhance the whole thing. 4,000 words, you guys! I don't think I've ever done that before!

Disclaimer: I don't own Clique, or The Real Housewives, which I firmly believe will still be airing in 2022.

November 5, 2021

He hasn't had a conversation with her in weeks.

After the big fight in August, she started taking her antidepressants again and he started coming home earlier, but it didn't take long for him to start working late and for her to stay silent and angry all over again.

When he gets home, at midnight, she isn't there. He can see her duffel bag is gone and figures she went to her mother's, or Massie's, and she didn't leave a note. He guesses this is like the last time and how she didn't want him to call so he doesn't, just decides that she'll talk to him when she wants to. Frankly, she's been so silent, hasn't been trying, that he's just exhausted and can't do it anymore. Well he can, he just won't. He wants things to get better. And yeah, he could probably be better about the working, but whatever, if she tried, he would try.

Nobody tries anymore.

One day later, she hasn't called, Massie hasn't called, so he tries not to worry. When she left last time, after she told him she was pregnant, she was gone for three days. If this gets any longer, he'll call her. Until then, he'll give her space.

Two days later, he forgets to shave, forgets to wear a tie, forgets to eat lunch. Something doesn't feel right.

Three days later, she isn't home. He stares at his phone for two hours in his office, not working, not doing anything.

Not breathing.

On the fourth day, he gets the papers.

She cites irreconcilable differences as the reason. He wonders if she could have said anything else, if there's a category like she got a miscarriage and I worked too much and it ruined us but there isn't. He isn't even sure if she'd admit this is what happened if she was asked about it, anyway.

December 12, 2021

He hasn't seen her at all. He wears a suit he's never worn before and it feels wrong on his skin. He feels like he's underwater during the whole thing. She won't look at him, taps her foot, tells the man that of course she's okay with the terms of the divorce.

Josh signs first and can't look at her and his hands are shaking. She bolts the second she's dotted the 'i' in 'Claire'.

He goes home to the empty apartment and the first thing he sees when he walks in is the picture of them on their honeymoon, taped to the fridge, and he sits down at the kitchen table and cries.

He doesn't know that she's drunk at a bar across town, or that she'll be crying soon, too, or that an hour from now she'll give her wedding ring to Massie and tell her that she never wants to see it again.

June 9, 2022

Josh is crashing her wedding.

Okay, crashing is probably the wrong word. He's going down a day early to see how things are going, and to say hi to Judi, because who doesn't love her?

Also, he was invited. So this is not crashing. Not crashing at all.

If she asks why he's there early, he'll just tell her he's checking up on the small investment office they recently set up in Westchester for retirees who didn't like making the drive into the city. It wasn't a total lie. He was going to stop by and see how things were going. For an hour. Or something. Probably.

Anyway, he's taking Jim with him because Jim probably has nothing better to do and whatever, Josh feels like he shouldn't complain because he's being paid overtime. So whatever. Also, Josh never said anything about the time he caught Jim tweeting about his annoying boss so he owes him this.

The year after Claire graduated high school, her parents finally left the Block Estate and settled in a house that wasn't too far from there. The lawn was almost as big as the Block's and they had a pool, and a garden that was professionally kept. It was an obvious choice for the wedding. Josh can still remember her dress, her hair, her toenail polish.

Fuck. How is he supposed to go to this wedding? Especially since the location was "The Lyons' Estate"? How did she feel okay with having it at the same place? The same fucking wedding arch was going to be there, too, he can feel it. The one he and her dad put together two days before the wedding while she stood a few feet away, yelling about symmetry and laughing at Josh as he pretended to kill himself with the screwdriver.

On the drive in, Jim is quiet. Which is nice, because as soon as he parks across the street from Claire's parents' house, he's bombarded by a certain Massie Block.

"Josh! Ohmigod, it's been awhile." She hugs him tightly and when she pulls away, he can see she's trying not to cry. He frowns.

"What's wrong, Mass?" His stomach is turning, like he knows whatever she is going to say isn't exactly catastrophic but it will still suck. She sniffs, looks down.

"I tried, Josh. I tried to tell her this was a mistake. I really didn't think she'd actually do it." She sniffs again, won't look at him from either guilt or shame or something. His chest hurts.

Josh shrugs. "What mistake? Do what?"

Massie swallows, looks him in the eye. "Marry Cam Fischer. I mean really, how can she marry him? In 2022? How is that even okay?" He snorts out a laugh and sighs.

"I don't think I'm gonna get the girl, Mass." He realizes at that moment just how fucking true it is, just how this isn't a movie or a romance novel and he's not going to get her back. He isn't going to stand up when the priest says to 'speak now or forever hold your peace' and he isn't going to do anything because this is real life, and sometimes it sucks.

Massie lets a stray tear fall down her cheek before she folds her arms across her chest. "I don't - um, Josh." She looks away again. He can't stand it.

"What? Spit it out." It comes out harsher than he meant it to be but he can't help it. He knows what she's going to tell him and he almost wants to walk away before she does.

"I think you're right."

"What are you doing here? Did you even open the invitation? Didn't I tell you June tenth?" Claire shoots the questions at him rapid-fire, not even giving him a chance to answer. Her foot is tapping in a cheap Old Navy flip-flop and her hair is in a messy bun. She fans herself with one hand, and he notices with a grin that she isn't wearing makeup. He likes that.

"Oh, gee, sweetums, I'm so glad to see you too." He smiles.

For a second she smiles back but then she's back to being annoyed with him when Cam appears behind her, hand on her shoulder, her neck. She shrugs him off, it's too warm for this.

"What's Josh doing here? Also, who is that guy?" he asks her, acting like he's trying to whisper but obviously talking loud enough for anyone to hear. She rolls her eyes because she knows this.

"I don't know. What are you doing here? And really, you brought Jim. How nice." This is directed at him. She doesn't even try to whisper.

"Work. New branch set up in Westchester. Thought I'd drop by, kill two birds with one stone. Jim is just, you know, assisting. Because he's my assistant."

Claire rolls her eyes again, only this time at him, instead of Cam, and he wants to hang his head. "Working, really? Gosh, I'm surprised." Her tone is flat. He almost flinches.

"Yeah, well. . ." Thankfully he's cut off by Judi's enthusiastic greeting.

"Josh!" She beams, coming over to hug him tightly and kiss him loudly on the forehead in that Judi way of hers. He grins from ear to ear the whole time. Judi is awesome.

"Hey, Jude. How are you?" He smiles shyly, it's been way too long.

She frowns and narrows her eyes. "Oh, Josh, I see what you're doing, changing the subject to me. I am doing just fine. You on the other hand. . . you are skin and bones, young man. What's gotten into you?" At this point she's pulling him away from Claire and Cam, who are locked in a heated debate about picking up a dress and meeting one last time with the caterer and What is Josh doing here? And he tries to kind of listen, but at his point Judi has brought him to the kitchen and is serving up a hamburger with coleslaw and cold pasta salad and a glass of lemonade. Typical Lyons' summer lunch, he thinks. The yard is bustling, they probably felt the need to feed everybody. There are two gardeners perfecting the rows of flowers along the house, a woman in clothes entirely too warm directing several young men about chair placement, and another one yelling about centerpieces. Todd is being the same old Todd, on the edge of the pool with a blonde Josh hasn't met. Two dogs run around, Massie is saying something into her phone about the favors for the guests, and Kristen has just arrived, two little boys, still babies, in the double stroller, unseen because the cover is up to keep the sun away. Chaos.

He eats, to make Judi happy, and talks about his job. When she asks about his personal life all he can do it swallow and shrug. He glances down, just for a second, but he isn't wearing the ring. She must have noticed the tan-line from the ring that was there just this morning, though, because when she looks back into his eyes her face is a little sad.

Claire and Cam come barging in a second later.

"Dad has one car, mine is in the shop, Todd lent his to Nathan. . ." Claire is explaining this to Cam as he frowns and nods, not really paying much attention. She is looking angrier by the second. She turns to Judi. "We have one car available, and I need my dress picked up and somene needs to meet the caterer. Both at three. In half an hour." Her eyes are angry, her shoulders tense.

Judi seems to ponder things. "Well, we can call your father and see if he can-"

"He's an hour away, mom."

The room is silent.

"I can give you a ride," Josh offers. Everyone turns to him.

Claire's eyes flash for a second and then she glances at Cam, who shrugs. "Sure. I'll meet the caterer."

It's awkward for a moment and then Claire grabs her purse and smiles apologetically. "Do you mind leaving right now? They are closing early, I really need my dress. It's kind of important, you know, for this whole wedding thing." She smiles.

Josh shrugs. "Whatever you say, Claire. You say the dress is important, I say psh, it's only your wedding." He's joking, and his smile shows it. For a full two seconds they just stare at each other, grinning like fools, until Cam clears his throat.

"Better get going, you guys." And then he turns around, so oblivious to what is going on that Claire has to mask her annoyance. Josh follows her out the door, giving Judi a wink as he leaves the air-conditioning for the hot summer heat.

When they get in his car, he starts it and immediately cranks the cold air. Claire opens the window, as always, and then proceeds to act like she owns the place and opens the sunroof, too. He gets to the radio before she does, though, and gets to a station that's playing Nickelback.

She fidgets, pretends she doesn't notice or care. Like Nickelback isn't her least favorite band of all time, like this song isn't a million years old.

Two choruses in about being a big rockstar, she cracks and changes the station.

When they return, Cam is smiling proudly and the gardeners have finally worked something out with the wedding coordinators. The long rows of white flowers wind in spirals around the arch. Claire grins when she sees it, runs ahead to hug Cam and give him a kiss. Josh is carrying the white garment bag with it slung over his arm, walking stealthily to the house because Claire was adamant that Cam couldn't see the dress until the wedding.

He'd promised to make sure Cam didn't see it, unable to do anything but humor her. He remembers that he didn't see the dress until about twenty minutes before she walked down the aisle. He'd said she looked beautiful, and she almost started crying because the surprise was ruined.

To make up for it he'd told her that if he had seen her for the first time when she was walking down the aisle, he would have passed out in front of everybody from shock. It was stupid, but she'd laughed, and when she really was walking down the aisle, he threw a hand on his forehead and pretended to swoon.

Christ, she was beautiful.

Her smile was so huge it made his own face hurt, and he wasn't embarrassed that when it was all over, he had a few tears. She wore these little white sandals with a low heel, toes peeking out, hair in those big curls he'd run his hands through that night in the hotel. Sometimes it makes him want to cry that something so wonderful and perfect turned out the way it did.

Judi is standing by the sink when he walks in, Massie's hand on her back.

"Josh," Massie says quickly, like she's surprised he's in there. He holds up the garment bag with Claire's wedding dress in it and shrugs, like 'what do I do with this'? Judi abruptly walks over and takes it, leaving through the door to the living room.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, concerned. Judi didn't even look at him. Massie frowns.

"She's just as disappointed as the rest of us." Massie won't look at him.

"Disappointed about what? Did something go wrong?" He's really confused. Everything seems pretty perfect. . .

Massie finally makes eye contact. "Yeah, something went wrong. You did. We're disappointed in you, Josh." She shakes her head. "And her. We're mostly disappointed in her. Judi wants her to be happy, but Cam Fischer. . . he's just not it, you know?" Her hands are in tight fists.

Josh is taken aback. "Listen, Mass, why do you think I'm here? I was going to try and fix things, it's just. . . I thought she needed space. She really surprised me with this shotgun wedding, don't you think?"

Massie nods quickly, sighing loudly. "I know. She surprised us all. She just. . . she's trying to replace you, you know. It'll always be you."

For the first time since he first saw the divorce papers, her signature on the dotted line, her new wedding ring. . . Josh feels hope.

He leaves right after that, realizing he left Jim in the hotel room to do whatever he wanted to do and he doesn't have any business being here. As he's getting in his car, he hears Claire saying something obscene. Cam throws his hands in the air and yells about how it's not a big deal, what's wrong with a change in the pasta sauce, really? Claire screams back that her grandmother is severely allergic to rosemary, you fucker, that's why it matters.

Josh tries not to smile as he gets into his car, but he does, of course.

Seven episodes of The Real Housewives and one viewing of The Departed later, he's bored. It's only 8:30, and he wants to see Judi again, and possibly Jay, if he's around. Also Dylan might be over there because she's a bridesmaid and she's pretty cool.

So he goes back over, like the pathetic doesn't-wanna-be-divorced loser that he is.

Massie swings the door open and smiles widely before tugging him inside roughly by his collar.

"Oh, jeez, Josh, you're here." Her eyes are bright. She's holding a wine glass and he can tell she's probably had at least three or four before this. "Thank God, Claire is being so annoying." She slams the door closed and tugs him into the living room, which holds a roomful of drunken bridesmaids and debris from recently completed centerpieces. Massie pulls him close so she can whisper in his ear.

"She's been talking about Cam this whole time. Blah blah blah green and blue eyes, blah blah blah what a jackass for the catering thing, blah blah blah married." Massie rolls her eyes. "It's like, can you just shut up already?" She takes down the wineglass with one swig. "Want some, Joshie?"

Josh shakes his head, wonders why he came here. Dylan waves him over.

"J-man, baby-doll, hey!" She isn't drinking, her belly much bigger than the last time he saw her, which was a long time ago. She's pregnant, he realizes. He wonders if Claire is jealous or pissed or happy for her. Probably all three.

Claire looks at him blankly but he can tell she's stone-cold sober. Which surprises him.

She's always been a sucker for white wine, right after Long Island iced teas. Those are Claire's kryptonite.

He engages in friendly conversation and strangely, nobody asks him why he's there, not even Claire. When he walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water, he finds himself walking out the door, sitting on the step.

It's a warm night, the sound around him quiet except for the cicadas, the crickets, the hum that seems to always exist on summer nights.

The night before the wedding, he and Claire escaped the party inside and sat here, right on this step, and listened to the night. She leaned her head on his shoulder and they both finally took a breath that they hadn't taken in what felt like months. He didn't have his phone on him and she was wearing those ancient pink Chucks and everything was just so. . . perfect.

Now that he's sitting here, in the same place, he realizes he can't do it. He can't watch her get married, he can't stay in Westchester tonight, he can't get through the rest of his life. He can't do it but he can't get her to come back either, and that basically means he can't do anything, ever, and it just sucks.

He walks back in to say goodbye and makes the drive back to New York. His whole body is tired, his head hurts, he isn't sure about anything. He doesn't think, he drives. And that's how he gets to the Met.

Josh gets out of his car, takes in the quiet around him, which is weird because this is New York, it's never quiet. Maybe his head is drowning out the noise that normally seems to follow him everywhere. His phone, his assistant, his boss, his idiotic friends, his own head. Just so much noise, all the fucking time. He's thinking about this as he walks up the steps, to the top. He sits down and closes his eyes.

It's funny, when he thinks about it later, that his head made all the noise disappear, everything perfectly peaceful, but he still heard the engine of her car.

Her soft, steady footsteps as she walks up.

She's exhausted.

Josh is sitting at the very top, and she realizes just how romantic-comedy this whole this is, going back here, just knowing that's where he would be. She should be rethinking everything up to this point, but she isn't.

He's staring at her when she reaches him, (only she doesn't reach him, she's five steps from the top) like she isn't quite real, like he really doesn't think he's imagining her. She smiles.

"Right here, right?" she asks and he doesn't have to clarify.

"Um." He squints, looks to both sides of himself. "Not quite." He stands, walks down so he's three steps from the top, shifts himself so he's directly in the middle of the steps. He looks up, the moon high and very yellow in the sky, and sees her, standing in front of him, her worn out jeans, her hair loose around her shoulders, her eyes a little red.

He grabs her by the hand and pulls her so she's against him, kissing him on the mouth. He can taste her, feel her, hear the thumping of her heart like it's his own, roaring in his ears.

When the kiss is over she sits down next to him and leans her head on his shoulder. They both take a breath, like they haven't in a long, long time.

Claire turns to him, lets out a shaky breath. "I miss you."

Josh hums, smiles sadly. "I miss you too."

Claire shakes her head, like she's frustrated with herself, and tries again. "No, I mean. . . I missed you. Like, before we even got divorced, I missed you." She grips his arm. "I thought that after I served you the divorce papers, you would do something, like fix things, or tell me no." She sighs. "And even though I still wish you had, I know now that it was unfair. I put a lot of pressure on you."

He's got his hand on her knee, lips pursed. "I'm sorry. About everything. I can't tell you enough times, how sorry I am."

They sit for awhile, just like that.

"Don't be sorry. Let's just not be sorry, okay? Let's just. . . start over. And communicate, the way we should have a long time ago."

He nods, but is confused. Does fresh start mean he can't say he loves her? Is this like the beginning of dating, or something?

She answers him before he can ask. "I love you," she whispers, and she sounds a little sad. A lot of things are running through her mind, like whether or not things will really be different, or how will they deal with the remarriage (wedding, or quiet court house date?) And Cam's face, when she told him she couldn't do it. The tears that ran down her mother's face, the smile she didn't try to hide. Everything is rushing at her. She needs to go to sleep, or kiss him again, or something that will clear her head.

Their fingers link with each other, fingers tightening, smiles shy. She feels like she's in high-school again, even though the past few months are about as adult as you can get.

"I love you too," he says, and it feels funny on his tongue, but delicious at the same time, like cotton candy.

They eventually stand up, stretch, that goofy smile on his face. They get into their respective cars with an unspoken agreement to just go back to the apartment that he still lives in, that they shared.

They giggle like teenagers when they get inside the lobby, feeling like they have to whisper in the elevator, the hallway leading to the door. It clicks open and he tosses the keys on the kitchen table and they make a loud clanging noise. She turns and shushes him.

"Why?" he asks, but he's whispering. She giggles.

"I don't know." Still whispering. "Let's go to bed."

They undress quickly, casually, like their married again. He tosses her a t-shirt and she slips it on without saying anything. They crawl under the sheets and she swears, she can smell their marriage in there. She can feel it, pressing against her. She breathes it in, wants to leave.

The apartment holds a lot of memories, some good, some bad. Even at the end, when everything was falling apart, they still had good times. Times when he'd brush her hair back for her and kiss her shoulder, times when one of them would say something and it would be so funny they would laugh until tears ran down their cheeks, moments like the time she walked into the kitchen when he was coming home, late at night, in just one of his shirts, and they ended up having sex on the kitchen table.

The other times, though, they sucked. Not talking, resenting, hating, blaming.

"We need to move outta here," she whispers finally, against his chest. They haven't had sex, haven't even mentioned it, just made out a bit, and she really realized just how high-school this is. She isn't sure how to get back to it, if it will feel the same it always has, which wouldn't be a bad thing, if it'll be familiar or different, somehow. She isn't sure and it scares her but it isn't bad. They can do this, she thinks.

Josh nods, swallows. "I don't know why I haven't yet." He sighs. "You were here, so I didn't leave. I think that's why."

She doesn't say anything, just presses her lips to his chest, splays her fingers across his stomach, breathes when he rubs his hand in circles on her back.

They sleep, and they breathe, and it feels like they've never done it before.

C'mon, people, you know you have to review!

XOXO

You know you loved it,

Sara;)