A/N: This is one hundred percent certified, bonified crack. I didn't even try to direct muse on this one, she just took off. M is on this for a reason. Wouldn't want you all to burn your eyes out or die from blood loss. :P Just so you know the ending is on purpose. The rest will come later, that is, when I can gather up all the mental energy I will need to write it. This is not a songfic. I just thought the title was fitting. The second chapter will be even hotter then this so be ready. Romance was not the focus here.

(Takamachi Residence)

Nanoha quietly closed the door as she entered the apartment. Taking her shoes off, she slid them over to the left with her foot. She saw a pair of black boots off to the right.

"Fate-chan, home, at this time of day?" Nanoha asked herself. It was just after five and Fate was never home before eight. It was enough time to unwind, have something to eat and then get a shower before Fate came home. Not that she got lucky all the time, but Nanoha liked to be prepared.

Nanoha walked down the long hall that lead into the front room. The lights were out except for a lamp on the far table. This struck Nanoha as odd. She never left that lamp on. It was always the one closest to the doorway. Further intrigued, she found a familiar uniform jacket thrown on the couch. It would seem as if her order was being disrupted on purpose.

"Something is not right here. She never leaves her clothes lying around." Nanoha said as she picked up the jacket and placed it over her arm. She continued down another hall and found the matching white shirt with yellow ribbon not far off from that. Her concern mounted as she picked up the shirt and tucked the ribbon in its pocket so it would not be lost.

"Just what is going on here?" Nanoha asked herself as she made it into the kitchen and found more disarray awaiting her. The cabinet up over the counter was open. Upon closer inspection she found that the bottle of sake that had been bought for their anniversary was missing. Nanoha remembered that they had planned to stay in that night but ended up going out instead.

Having closed the cabinet, Nanoha turned around to find Fate's uniform skirt on the floor and her pantyhose over the back of one of the chairs. The picture of what was to happen henceforth began to pull together in Nanoha's mind.

"This is so unlike her. I must have put that bottle someplace else and something like crackers might have been up there." Nanoha continued to build her illusion out of disbelief that Fate could be this bold. After collecting the two articles of clothing she then went though another doorway and made a right hand turn. The next discovery made her illusion crack.

A black bra of very familiar size greeted her off to the left of the wall. There was only one thing left that she could pick up as she tucked Fate's bra under her arm. The thought of an intoxicated, naked and willing Fate made her face break out in severe heat.

It was then it dawned that this was not just outright boldness, it was also a trap. The trap that would be sprung as a grin appeared on Nanoha's face. If anyone had been around at that moment they might think her insane. Weather the plot had been hatched before Fate had started drinking or not did not matter. She would have to up the game if she were to get the upper hand. The thought that sailed into her head next made her smile sweetly as she finished down the hall to find, as she suspected, Fate's panties. As she Nanoha picked them up she could feel the wetness stick to her fingers. It seemed that Fate had already been though a round of self service and had left the evidence to provoke her.

"I don't know what's gotten into you Fate-chan. But if you want to wake up in a few hours with both a headache and numb legs I'll be only too happy to oblige." Nanoha said as she turned to her right. She saw her bedroom door was open and the light was on. Still smiling, Nanoha continued on down to the guest room.

(Bedroom)

Fate sat on the edge of the bed very proud of herself. She had gone though some things that irritated her, but it lead to a greater goal. The bottle of sake that rested between her damp legs brought coolness around her groin. That had done a lot to stave off the need to go again.

The truth be told Fate hadn't had very much to drink. The taking of the bottle had been to unsettle Nanoha. The panties she had discarded with care in the hall were the cherry on top of a very fulfilling pie. Fate had worked herself for a very long half hour, fighting herself to the very last to ensure effect.

It won't be long now Fate thought. Just then she heard the distinct sound of a door open down the hall.

Why was the guest room closed? And why would anybody be in there. Nanoha could have … no, I would have heard her coming in. I'm just hearing things. Fate thought to herself as she turned to look at the clock. The time indicated that Nanoha may have been running late.

"Checking the clock? I'm not late Fate-chan" a familiar voice said as Fate jumped. It seemed that she had been wrong about the noise. She turned slowly to find Nanoha as natural as she was, soaking wet and flushed.

"N-Nanoha, why are you…" Fate said in a mixture of shock and surprise. She swallowed hard as she traced Nanoha up and down. Special attention was paid to the water dripping off of Nanoha's breasts and rolling down her belly. It would seem that she had been outclassed, again.

"Fate-chan, you should know better then to try to set something like this up." Nanoha said with a smirk as she pushed the door closed.

"Because, now, you have to watch."