Till It Be Morrow by Bweb

Disclaimer:
I do not own the characters in this story. They are the property of their creators and copyright holders. They are being used without permission. I am not making any profit on this.

Note: An alternate universe version of the events from K-ON!, Season 2, eps. 18-19.

"How can I ever go out on stage again? Tell me? How? I let you down. I let everyone down! I can't go on that stage now and attempt to explain myself, or make excuses. Don't ask me again, Ritsu. There's nothing I can do."

That's what she said to me. I wanted to tell her, to make her understand. It wasn't her fault. It's so easy for people these days to blame others. To point a finger at anyone but themselves. But, Mio, this truly wasn't your fault. The blame rests on the shoulders of the class, on Nodoka, and especially on me.

You tried to warn us, Mio, that the decision to cast you as Romeo in the class play was a bad idea. The fact that you literally fainted when they announced the decision should have been the only warning we needed.

And it's not like you didn't try to warn us time and again. And I blame Nodoka, as well. She was supposed to be your friend. She was supposed to be looking out, not just for you, but for the well being of the whole class and the play. You tried to tell her that you had no interest in playing the part. She flat out ignored you, citing the will of the class. Those stupid obsessed little fangirls who didn't see you as a person, but as some sort of idol for them to worship, or a doll for them to play with. And when you tried to point out to her that you had to practice for our performance with HTT, she all but guilted you into staying with the role because it was the will of the class. She told you that they were all looking forward to your performance, as if that somehow justified asking all that of you.

And the others? Yui? Mugi? Azusa? They tried to help, tried to cure you of your fear by sending you to work as a maid at that cafe. But even then, they could see that it hadn't worked. You were still as terrified as ever. You were so on edge, so strung out. But no one paid any attention.

And I blame myself most of all. I was too caught up in teasing you to see it. I've known you longer than any of the others. I should have been the one to speak up on your behalf, to shame the others for what they were doing. And when you flat out told me that as late as it was, you wanted to walk away from it, I wouldn't let you. I forced you to stick with it. Mio, I could beg your forgiveness from now until the end of days, and it wouldn't be enough to make it up to you. I knew you were never happy, being our lead singer. If Yui hadn't stripped her voice out that time, you could have been comfortable hiding in the background.

But the Fates, and us, wouldn't let it be.

But I honestly thought that you were getting better. And I thought that you'd gotten more confident. And I was an idiot. Because you felt trapped. You felt like you had nowhere to go. Always for the good of everyone else. That's how we did it. That's how we took advantage of you. Every time you tried to back away, tried to go where you felt safe, comfortable, we would beg and plead and shove duty to your friends in your face. Like any of us have any right to call ourselves your friends, after what we did.

I was backstage when I heard.

As Romeo you were in the first scene, of course. But when the time came, you didn't go out on stage. There were murmurs in the audience, and people started to get worried. They told me it was Sawako-sensei who found you, huddled in the corner, crying.

They told me you didn't answer anyone or say anything, and that it took three people to carry you to the nurse's office. We didn't have an understudy for your part. We had to tell the audience that due to sudden illness, the play had to be cancelled. And, of course, when you didn't come the next day, we had to cancel our performance for HTT as well. It was a huge shock to the others, but not to me. I visited you at home the night before, and that's when you told me, when you said that you couldn't go out on stage ever again. You said that you had no right to perform music on stage if you couldn't perform your part in the class play.
"What would the others think of me, Ritsu?" you wept, "That I was able to perform in front of people only when it suited my own selfish interests, but not for any of my friends?"

It's true that we could have gone on without you, Mio. Sawako even volunteered to play in your place. But we all decided that we didn't deserve to. It was senior year, your final chance to perform for everyone before you left the school. And it was our fault you weren't going to be there. That being the case, none of us deserved to enjoy our final performance, either.

"We should see if she's okay?" Mugi-chan suggested. I agreed.

So, we've all come, Mio, to tell you that...you didn't let us down. Mio, if anything, it was us who let you down.

I've always teased you, and laughed at your easy fear and quick terror. I've always been a bully to you. It was me who dragged you to the light music club, when you'd wanted to join the literature club. We were the ones who forced you to be our lead singer, because you were always so much more reliable than the rest of us. We let Sawako do as she pleased when she forced you to wear those embarrassing costumes, knowing how shy you already felt. And it was us who tried to force you to play that part in front of everyone, knowing that it was never something you wanted, that you were trying so hard to get us to change our minds and let you take a bit of time for yourself.

I'm sorry, Mio. It's all our fault, and I don't know if you can ever forgive us.

WHOMP

That feeling, so painful, so familiar. Mio's karate chop?

"Ritsu, you idiot!" I feel arms around me, and I feel the wet warmth of someone else's tears on my cheek, "I didn't want you to stop the performance for my sake. You idiot. Moron. You guys gave up your last chance to show what you could do because of me!"
I found myself returning her hug, "No, Mio. We came her to show you that we can't do anything without you."

She sniffed, "It wasn't stage fright, Ritsu. You know that, don't you?"
I shook my head in confusion, "No. What else could it have been."

"It's because...I was Romeo. And...and you were Juliet. And I was afraid...afraid that you would see that it wasn't an act. That it was...how I really felt."

I smiled, and looked into those sharp eyes of hers, "Baka. I already knew all of that."

I told Mugi, Yui, and Azusa that I would stay, and that they could go home. Mio and I talked into the night, until it was very very late, and I realized that I had to get home, because my parents were probably worried.

"Ritsu?"
"Yeah?"
"Good Night! Good Night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."