DISCLAIMER

Me: *mumbles incoherently*

Elphaba: We agreed that you'd speak clearly.

Me: Fine. Idontownwicked.

Elphaba: Come on. Clearly.

Me: I. Don't. Own. Wicked. There. Are you happy now?

Elphaba: I'm thrilled.

Me: Thanks for crushing my dreams.

"Hey, this isn't the Animal Rights convention!"

"Where are the pink dresses?"

"What the - apparently the balloon's GPS system was off."

"At least this is better than that horrendible prison."

And that's how it all started.

A large group of complaining people was gathered in a small white room. The group of people

"Calm down, people! Gosh, it's not like you were just kidnapped or something," a voice said, entering the plain, white room.

A tragically beautiful girl, the one in the chair, glared at her. "Yes, we kind of were, whoever you are. Apparently -"

"I'm Jen," the authoress said, waving.

Nessa sighed. "Jen, then. Apparently you all tricked us into coming here. And for what, exactly?"

Rolling her eyes, and ignoring the second question, the authoress waved a hand. "I didn't trick you; I just told you that you were going somewhere that wasn't actually where you were going."

"What?" Fiyero asked, confused.

"Never mind that," the authoress said. "The fact is, you're here." Flipping a switch on a hand-held remote, she smiled. "And so are they."

The walls of the room came down, revealing that they were on a stage. A medium sized audience appeared, staring in awe at the people in front of them.

Glinda stared blankly at the audience. "What the…" she turned to the authoress. Glinda gave Jen an odd look. "I thought you said this was a clothing store."

Elphaba gave Glinda an odd look. "You really need more clothes, Glinda?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't hurt."

Fiyero looked at his arm. "Why am I not made of straw?" he asked, poking his very flesh-like skin.

"And why am I not made of tin?" Boq asked, looking at his non-metallic hand.

"I'm the authoress," Jen smiled. "I can do whatever I want."

Nessa looked up at Jen. "Then can you give me the ability to walk?" she asked eagerly.

Jen smiled and nodded, and Nessa squealed excitedly.

"But I won't," Jen shrugged.

"Why not?" Nessa gasped, looking rather annoyed.

"Because you already could, and then you lost your shoes. It was very irresponsible of you, Nessa," Jen looked at her, disapprovingly.

Astounded, Nessa replied, "B-but a house fell on me! I didn't lose them!"

Jen sighed. "Your shoes, your responsibility."

"B-b-but…"

"Who in Oz are you, anyway?" A certain Wizard asked, giving Jen an odd look.

The authoress smiled. "I'm Jen, the authoress. Duh. I thought we went over this already."

"We knew that," Madame Morrible sighed. "But who are you?"

Jen smiled. "The Wicked Witch of Pennsylvania."

"What's a Pencil Vain and Ya?" Glinda asked, confusifyed.

"It's a state," a twelve-year-old girl asked, skipping through the door with her dog. "Sorry I'm late, I -" Dorothy gasped, catching sight of the green girl. "Oh, Toto!" she cried. "It's - it's her! The witch! I thought she was dead!"

"Oh, shut it," Elphaba muttered, glaring.

"Quick, someone," Fiyero said sarcastically, "go fetch a bucket of water."

"Hey, I already killed my daughter once," the Wizard said, sighing. "Let's not do it again."

"My shoes!" Nessa shouted, finally looking over at Dorothy. She quickly wheeled her chair over to the little brat in a blue and white checkered dress. "Hand them over!" Dorothy frowned. "I can't! They're stuck! They've been stuck on for weeks! Do you know how uncomfortable it is sleeping with shoes on?"

Nessa frowned, but didn't reply.

"I wish I could get them off, but I can't. So deal with it."

Nessa glared at Dorothy, and then looked pleadingly at the authoress.

"It's true," Jen said with a sigh, "they won't come off unless she's dead. Trust me, I've tried. Those are really pretty shoes," she said longingly, staring at the red heels on Dorothy's feet.

Nessa frowned. "Then we'll just have to kill her, I guess."

"Sounds good to me," Elphaba mumbled.

"Anyone who attempts to murder Fabala will feel my wrath," Fiyero said, glaring at the farm girl.

"Hey, calm down everyone! No murder, there are witnesses in the crowd!" Jen exclaimed, frowning.

No one paid attention to the authoress. "Boq, do you still have that ax?" Elphaba asked, slowly approaching a trembling Dorothy.

"Nope," Boq sighed, glaring at Jen. "It was confiscated. Apparently no weapons are allowed inside of this room."

Everyone turned to glare at the authoress, who simply shrugged. "I don't want anyone being murdered. I figured something like this would happen when I put Dorothy in the same room as you people. Murderous freaks…"

An aura of disappointment coated the room, as Dorothy breathed a sigh of relief. Madame Morrible approached the authoress with a frown. "Why are we here, anyway?" she asked impatiently.

Jen frowned. "I was getting to that."

"Get there faster. I'm bored," Glinda complained.

"Fine," Jen muttered. "Okay, so a lot of other people have done these fics where reviewers send in questions, and then the characters answer them, right? Therefore, being the unoriginal person I am, I decided to try one! Yay!"

"As long as there's no Gelphie involved," Glinda sighed.

"I'd say 'okay', because I agree completely, but -"

"There's always a 'but'," Elphaba sighed, leaning against Fiyero.

"But it's whatever the reviewers want," Jen said reluctantly.

"Wait," Fiyero said, looking up at her, "there might be…" he walked up to her and whispered in her ear, "Foq?"

Jen shrugged. "Well, if that's what they want."

Fiyero's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

Boq's eyes widened too. "You're kidding."

With a sigh, Jen shook her head. "Whatever they want."

Fiyero and Boq shared a glance, and then said in unison, "We're done for."

Jen turned towards the audience. "That's right," she smiled, "it's up to you. So send in your questions, dares, whatever!" Jen waved. "We'll be right here, waiting, all day! So ask what you need to ask - there's Elphie, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa, Morrible, Dorothy, and the Wizard! Ask away, my dear audience members! Ask away!"

"What have we gotten ourselves into?"

I've got some ideas for future chappies! All you guys have to do is review with your questions, and then these beautiful people will answer them. Dares, questions, anything! :D I need a minimum of three questions per chapter, so…yeah. :D I'm excited about this!