Inspired by an old flame of mine dying out for good. Courtney, be strong.

A Promise

You promised

This would never happen again

You promised

To take care of me

You reassured my heart

And I believed every word

My biggest Mistake

Why didn't I protect my heart?

Why didn't I see this coming?

Too late now.

Rivers flooding from my eyes can't blind me from what I saw.

I'm alone, surrounded by emptiness

Feeling like a corpse in their grave

I can hear them saying "I told you so"

"See what happened?"

"History has now repeated itself"

My heart is ripped in two

And I refuse to find the other half

Because…

Because it still belongs to you

You have the other half

But I don't want it back

I hold on to the hope that you'll return

That you'll be back

Back in my arms, my life and

You'll be mine once more

My heart will be whole once more

My heart healed

And I'll be cured

I'm stupid, blind, helpless

And it's all because I trusted you

I don't regret my decision though

And that's all that matters

Right?

As I let my words sink in I remember when this happened before. I cried for hours until he came back.

Duncan had won Total Drama Action and everyone was celebrating. The first wild, uncontrollable party I ever went to; beer, weed, sex were all around me as I clung to Duncan for guidance. He just chuckled at my innocence and handed me what was supposed to be coke but he had spiked with alcohol.

There was a reason I didn't drink. I had too many alcoholics in my family, I saw what it could do, and I could smell it a mile away. I knew the soda was spiked and when Duncan turned his back to get another shot of vodka (his seventh one so far), I threw it over my shoulder but took a little sip so Duncan could taste it on my innocent lips, then when he kissed me, he would think his plan worked. He trying talking me into having sex with him in a closet but I kicked him in the balls and yelled at him for trying to take advantage of me. He scowled at me, as any angry drunk would, and stormed off into his room leaving me behind standing alone in the hall.

"What did you do my Duncan?" slurred a drunk Goth from behind me. I could smell the cheap beer on her breath. Gwen. Her mere name would send anger up my spine. I looked at her and sneered, how dare she call MY boyfriend hers!

I rolled my eyes as I said, "YOUR Duncan? HE is MY boyfriend! So get lost Goth."

She rolled her bloodshot dilated eyes; I knew that she had just smoked her first weed. "In your dreams Prude, how can you deny that gorgeous hunk of man his sexual needs? He needs to be pleasured every moment of the day and You are denying him that! I would fuck him every day if I could but—"

"But he's MINE! He choose ME! And screw his 'needs' he shouldn't try and take advantage of me when I'm not ready for that yet!" I shot back at her before she could ramble on about having sex with my boyfriend.

She scoffed and walked past me and I saw her enter the bathroom. I walked over to Duncan's room but he refused to let me in so after an hour in vain I returned to my room and went to sleep early. I woke up with a start as I hear Bridgette enter the room and collapse on her bed. I looked at the clock and it was three o'clock at night. I got up and walked to the bathroom and that's when I heard lustful groans, moans, pants from the room to my right. I looked to see in horror, Duncan's room. I tried the door, to my luck, it was open, and I saw my worst nightmare. There was Duncan, in only boxers kissing passionately, my worst enemy, Gwen. His hands were up her shirt and her hands groping his Mohawk and scratching at his perfectly muscled chest. I saw her leggings on the floor, her black bra resting near his pants, his shirt next to a black thong and as if in slow motion my feet carried me to them, my arms pushed them apart, my ears heard the grunts of protest and, my hand could feel the impact of my fist with her scrawny pale face. My eyes met his and recognition hit me like my fist with Gwen's face. I had knocked Gwen out cold and said in a shaky voice, "We're over Duncan."

Before I could run to the safety of my room, he pulled me back to him and kissed me and to my dismay, I kissed him back. The kiss brought back hope and I was putty in his hands as he said, "I'm sorry Princess. I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing, could you ever forgive me?"

I looked into those icy teal eyes and mistook the lust in his eyes for love and regret. I said yes, we spent the rest of the night cuddling and making out, and the next morning we started our life together and to prove our love we got matching tattoos.

We broke up but when I was driving that stupid bus and saw those same teal eyes looking at me with that same look that had me running back to him that night I kissed him and was his once again. That night when Chris told us, we were all going to be in his new reality season Duncan and I spent the night in the same room. I gave him my virginity that night. Then he left within a day before I could tell him the big news.

I'm pregnant. I was going to tell him the minute we were together but the second Duncan saw Gwen; he rushed to her and kissed her just as passionately as that night. Now I can never tell him. At the very moment, I made a promise to myself. I would never let Duncan Russell break my heart ever again.

I get up from the floor and dry my tears. I brace myself and walk with the remaining dignity I have to the main room where all the campers are, still in shock from what Duncan did to me. I look at them all and walk with pride to the pilot's room. Chris and Chef are arguing about their paychecks.

"My paycheck is bigger because I'm the host and do more than you," Chris was saying.

"Oh please. I do more work than—"

"Ahem" I coughed as I interrupted Chef. Chris's eyes shot up in delight.

"Courtney, how are you doing with Duncan back?" Chris wanted Drama and there was no way in hell I was ever going to give him that satisfaction.

"I quit," I said simply.

"WHAT?" exclaimed Chris, "You have to stay and the ratings will go through the roof to see you and Gwen fighting over Duncan!"

"That's just it. I'm not gonna fight with her. She can have him." I look Chris directly in the eyes.

"Oh let the girl go. It's one less mouth for me to feed," grumbled Chef.

"Fine. Here's your parachute," said Chris as he thrust the parachute at me.

"I don't think its safe for me to use the parachute," I said as I set the parachute on the ground.

"Listen prep, every camper has to leave the plane with a parachute! I'm not gonna give you special—"

"I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?"

"I'm. Pregnant," I say louder. Chris and Chef look at each other and say nothing. I think they can guess why I'm so eager to leave now. Chef nods and Chris gets up to make a phone call.

"Alright when we land in Greece there will be a private jet waiting for you to take you home. We promise not to tell anyone and the producers have decided to delete this footage form the show, no matter how high the ratings could get. We will respect your privacy and good luck," Chris looks at my stomach and says, "You're gonna need it."

I never saw anyone from the old gang again. I went home and when I told my parents I was pregnant, they disowned me. I left Canada and traveled to the States. There I blended in perfectly with my pregnant stomach and tan skin. I looked like any other pregnant Hispanic girl in LA. I received no pity and no sympathy and no one recognized me from that stupid reality series. I was grateful and survived in that hostile environment. It was a little difficult getting an apartment but I did it and took online classes with an old used laptop I bought cheap. It had gliches but it got the job done and I didn't complain, and I was able to gain my high school diploma. I got a job as a secretary in a law firm and worked my way through law school. Berkley accepted me even with my huge expectant stomach.

My son was born July 16, 2011 and I named him, David Antonio Garcia. His teal eyes pierced through my heart at first glance but I grew to love them. I love my son with every fiber of my being. My son is my life and I want to give him everything but I kept him ignorant of that show and his father. He didn't need to get his heart broken, he didn't need that pain, and I was going to be his shield.

I would see magazine covers from time to time about the old gang but I never paid them much attention. I didn't blink an eye when Duncan won Total Drama World Tour, I didn't bat an eyelash when he announced he was marrying Gwen, and I didn't shed one tear when I found they got divorced. I made myself a promise and I was going to see it through. For myself and my son.

First chapter done, more to come. Review if you want.