Thank you for stopping by and checking out my one story, lol. I co-wrote this with StarkBlack, and I must take a second to thank her, because without her encouragement, I would have never posted it. We were sitting at McDonalds and I was telling her about this one time... with this guy... and I got it in his... er, yeah. You get the idea. She wrote the idea down on a napkin, and then when we got to my place, she said she wouldn't cook for me until I at least wrote and outline. This is what eventually turned out. I hope it makes someone laugh.

Sekken

Zoro's head knocked against the hard wood of the galley wall. He moaned a few broken words that had no meaning and sounded more like a cat meowing than anything else. He pulled hard on blond hair as Sanji's mouth worked frantically over the head of his cock. The cook's dexterous right hand pumped him in sync with the bobbing of his head. Zoro's back arched and he shifted his legs. He had been reluctant to do this sitting on a crate filled with apples he knew the crew was eventually going to eat, but Sanji had said fuck it, he was going to wash them later anyway.
He felt pressure building and he looked down, trying desperately to form words the cook could understand.

"C… coming…" he panted. "Uh… off… off!"

Sanji pulled back and continued to jerk him. The swordsman squeezed his eyes shut and growled through his clenched jaw as his pleasure peaked and exploded in little bursts. He cursed softly as he pulsed in the cook's hand. Weeks of tension and anxiety from their long stay in Water 7 and the battle at Einis Lobby drained from his body. Fuck they needed to do this more often.

"Oh shit!" Sanji's voice startled Zoro out of the tail end of his orgasm. He looked down to find the cook wiping frantically at his face. The swordsman frowned in confusion.

"What?" he breathed. "It's just cum, you get it on your face all the time…"

"No you fucking idiot!" Sanji screeched. He jumped to his feet and stumbled to the sink. The blond turned the water on full blast and ducked his head under the spray. "Oh it fucking BURNS!"

Zoro, still slightly hazy and getting more confused by the second, tucked himself back in and buttoned his pants. He stood and moved to Sanji's side, trying to ascertain what the stupid cook was having a fit over.

"Sanji, what the fuck?"

Sanji straightened suddenly and kicked Zoro in the shin. The swordsman yelped and bent to rub the tender spot.

"You fucker!" Sanji hissed. "You got it in my eye!"

Zoro was about to cuss the blond out for kicking him, but then the reality of what the cook was saying hit him. The swordsman looked up at Sanji, who had his visible eye squeezed shut framed by his dripping hair and started to chuckle softly. The blond bared his teeth and tried to kick him again. Zoro saw it coming and dodged. He stood and grabbed Sanji by the arms.

"Oi, oi," he said around his laughter. "Hold still, let me look at it."

Sanji relented and let Zoro pull gently on his eyelid. The cook whimpered as Zoro looked at the reddening edges of the eyeball.

"It's not that bad ya wimp." Zoro muttered. "Just flush it out a few more times."

Sanji growled again. "Not that bad! Get on your knees, fucker! I'm gonna jack off in your face! I'll show you 'not that bad'!"

Zoro laughed again. "Then go get some eye drops from Chopper or something."

Sanji pulled away and turned back towards the sink.

"Aw man. Zoro, that reindeer already thinks we're fucking nuts as it is. He's scarred for life from having to patch me up after that time we did it on that sky island!"

Zoro laughed. "That was pretty rough huh?"

"Speak for yourself, asshole. I was the one who couldn't shit for three days."

Zoro's hand slipped around Sanji's waist and he pressed himself against the cook's skinny frame.

"I couldn't help it," he whispered into Sanji's hair. "You were all dirty and pissed off. I still can't believe you took a bolt of lightning from that fucker dead on."

Sanji snickered. "Yeah, that was pretty bad-ass."

Just then, the door opened and Nami came storming into the galley.

"What the hell are you two doing in here!" she cried, hands going to her shapely hips.

Zoro had separated himself from the cook when he heard the doorknob. He now sat at the table, feet up and hands behind his head. Sanji waved to the red head with the hand not covering his eye.

"Fucking cook got soap in his eye."

Sanji growled and turned back to the sink to continued his rinsing.

Nami eyed the two and shook her head. "Right, whatever. Go have Chopper look at your eye, Sanji."

"Hai, Nami-swan~!" Sanji sang as the navigator closed the door behind her.

Zoro leaned back further and grinned. "Can you see to make it okay, cook? Or do I need to lead you there?"

"Fuck you, I'll be fine," mumbled Sanji.

Just then the galley door opened again, and Nami stuck her head in.

"Oh, and guys," she said sweetly. "You might wanna clean up a bit before you go see Chopper."

"What?" Chorused the two men. Zoro frowned and Sanji squinted at her with his now completely red puffy eye.

Nami pointed to Sanji.

"You missed some, hon."

Sanji looked down at the mess on his black suit jacket and whirled back to the sink. Nami shut the door, hearing a symphony of crashing pots and Sanji's 'You fucking Marimo!' and smiled to herself as she walked back out onto the deck to sit with Robin.

"Are they all right Nami-san?" Robin asked sweetly.

"Oh, they're fine," Nami answered. "Zoro just got soap in Sanji's eye."

END

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