Heh heh heh... Okay I know I got rid of the Oblivion crossover but hear me out. I'm just going to start this one anyway because I realized that Oblivion and Dragon Age have... Well TOO much in common. Really when you think about it, I'd just be telling two of the same stories over again and how much fun would that be? Not a lot... that's the answer. And another thing, I know that there is a whole new Fable coming out that might (well maybe not actually if you want to REALLY think about it) not be 100 percent consistant. But that's the beauty of fanfiction, I can ignore all the rules simply because I said so. Go me. Anywho without further ado I give an actual romace...y fanfiction that might not be completely horrible... or it might... just depends I suppose. Erm... MOVING ON...

Disclaimer: No I don't own it. I wish I owned it, but I don't. Fables II is awesome, so of course I don't own it. I've been so warped into Dragon Age it's a wonder I'm not quoting... Oh wait I do quote it all the time... it's a wonder I don't have fan girly... Nope I do that too... Needless to say I don't own it.

Where are my Pants?...

"Down by the reeds. Down by the reeds," she sighed as she kept humming the catchy tune. "If this song wont get out my head, I'll break Hammer's knees." Her loyal companion barked and whined at Lily's change of lyrics. "Okay fine, no knee breaking. But can I do SOMETHING about this stupid song? She's been singing it for ages and now I'VE been singing it for ages." The golden dog wagged his swishy tail before barking once more with a little bounce to it. "Sometimes I think I spoil you far too much." Lily put her hands on her hips and shook her head. Her dog, Roofus, whined once more before hiding his snout under his paw. "Oh don't try that one on me. Ten years of that trick taught me not to fall for those puppy eyes." She chuckled and went back to humming. "Down by the reeds. Down by the reeds. I wish I could stop singing this song. It's just annoying me. HA!" She was proud of her changed lyrics as she began walking down the dirt path to the Sandgoose. Lily was parched from singing and humming that stupid song that she couldn't get out of her head since she had met Hammer.

The Sandgoose was busy as usual. The serving girls as well as the bartenders raced from one end of the Inn to the other. 'You'd think two stories would be enough to keep a steady flow going between the customers,' pondered Lily. Borris, the bartender on the first floor, looked ready to fall on the floor and stay there. His old age was beginning to take it's toll on him, and the rush was getting out of hand. Lily smiled warmly at the older gentleman who held up a finger indicating he'd be with her in one moment. But instead of waiting a moment, Lily wasted no time jumping over the bar and pushing the old man out of the way. "What'll it be?" She called to the newest wave of cheering customers.

"Sparrow?" Asked Borris panting. "What're you-"

"Go take a break Borris," she pointed at an empty table. Or at least what looked like an empty table. "I'll take care of business in here for now."

"No no," he leaned heavily against the bar. "I can take care of this lot." The screaming patrons, however said quite the opposite. They demanded thier drinks becoming more and more agressive.

"Really," she insisted. "I can handle it. If I can defeat Thag, I can serve a couple drinks." The mention of the defeat of Thag sent a loud cheer to Sparrow. They cheered and some of the already drinking patrons held up a tankard in her honor before clanging with the man or woman behind him. Borris gave Sparrow a swift pat on the shoulder before leaving her to her work. Too many patrons came by with compliments of how unworthy they were, or how lucky Oakfield was to have such a Hero as herself. It was nice enough, but after a while, the sound of her name began to annoy her.

Sparrow, Sparrow, Sparrow!

She didn't mind it so much when she was a child, but now, at the age of twenty she was looking for something a little more grown up. Nothing to remind her of her childhood growing up on the streets of Bowerstone's Old Town with Rose while Arfur tried to talk them into prostitution. Well, he tried to talk Rose into prostitution, he more or less told Sparrow to wait until she was old enough. Even now, when Sparrow was old enough, the thoughts made her stomach lurch.

She hadn't been paying attention to her tankard when she overfilled the cup and ended up unthinkably dropping it to the floor. "Damn!" She cried as it smashed at her feet. "Sorry about that. I'll pay for it. Here," she quickly filled the next tankard and passed it down. "This one's on me." She slid the cup across the counter to a man who said nothing. No thank you, no compliments, nothing. Instead, with a bowed head, he took his drink and sat at the farthest table. She tried to take a moment to observe him, but quickly found herself overwhelmed again. "Alright, alright hold your horses!"

The rush only continued as Borris returned refreshed and ready for work once more. "It's a mad house in here!" Warned Sparrow. Borris laughed and waved her away. Gladly, Lily was happy to get out while she still could. Her sanity was finding a dangerous place to hide, and right now was not the place to do something reckless. Instead she ordered for herself and paid for two tankards of ale instead of one.

She began humming again, this time another tune was stuck in her head. Actually she quite welcomed it, anything was better than Down by the Reeds for three days straight. Even if it was the music box that ended up dragging her into this whole mess to begin with. She left the Sandgoose and whistled for Roofus who barked and followed her around once more. "Come on boy." She stretched as the town crier called that the time was... Very late. "Let's go home. I think the Hero of Will can wait on me for a while." Roofus yawned behind her to emphasize her point. She opened the door to a large farm house, climbed into bed and fell asleep nearly as soon as her head hit the pillow.

"Nothing must stand in my way!" Exclaimed Lucien drawing his pistol.

"No wait!" Coward Rose. Backing up with Lily as they tried to hide within the glowing circle. "DON'T! NOOOO!" Her cries cut out by a single gun shot as she fell lifeless to the floor. Lily tried to register what had happened when the gun had turned on her.

"I can't allow you to live either," he hesitated to pull the trigger. That small sense of humanity strangling him as he tried to decided whether or not he could actually kill a child. A little girl no older than his Amelia. "I'm sorry." His decision was made. He could do it, because he had to.

BOOM!

Lily shot out of bed in a cold sweat. She sighed and wiped the sleep from her eyes only to realize that the moonlight had been pouring in her window. "Ugh, really?" She asked herself. She tried with a great effort to fall back into sleep, but the dream kept her awake. All the possible outcomes of Rose surviving that horrible night dancing around in her head. 'There was nothing I could do,' she had accepted that long ago. 'I was ten, what could I have done? Lucien will pay!' She dressed into her red explorer shirt and ranger pants before stepping outside. Roofus appeared to have had a similar dream as when she stepping outside, he began to whine. Lily knelt down and gave her friend a pat on the head. "There, there," she comforted. "We'll make sure he gets his! Wont we boy?" He barked happily and licked her face. "Ah, that's disgusting."

She chuckled. Aside from the wandering guards and the town crier, Lily was usually the only one awake at ungodly hours of the night strolling around. The warm summer air brushed past her face like a hand caressing her cheek. The moonlight was as bright as ever, and the hustle and bustle of the day was gone. Silent. No Sparrow this, no Sparrow that. No one falling in love with her because she knew how to handle a sword and rifle like a man or could dance like a fool and not care who was watching. Just Sparrow taking wing with her thoughts.

Usually.

Tonight was different. Someone else staggered along the roads. The shadow of night made his face hard to see, but it was quite clear that he was drunk as he could barely stand up and kept crashing into the fence seperating the road from the stream. Lily jogged towards him, better to catch him now and make him angry than to let him drown. The man didn't seem to notice Lily and just kept wobbling along. "Hey!" Called Lily. Startling the man and causing him to lose balance. Much to Lily's fear he fell right where she didn't want him to. The stream, which with all the rain lately, was rather deep. Now she only had herself to blame.

A loud splash sent Lily sprinting. She waited for the man to resurface and cried out in frustrastion when he did not. She hollered for the guards before diving in after him. The darkness did nothing to help her as she swam to the bottom. Finally she touched something solid and desperately hoped it was what she was looking for. She opened her eyes and saw the shine of metal armor. More armor than she had ever seen in her entire life! Who was this man? She didn't take the time to observe closely as she realized why he didn't resurface. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was drunk, although it didn't help. That armor was heavy! Her lungs felt as though they would burst any second as she reached for various straps and clasps trying to undo the breastplate. 'Oh please say he's not naked under this!' Had Lily not been under water, she would have squealed in delight that he was, in fact, clothed under all that armor. Finally with a few more snaps undone she managed to pushed them both up to the surface and safety.

Three guards and their captain reached out and took the unconscious man out of her arm allowing Lily to pull herself up onto land. Roofus immediately began sniffing and licking her. Making sure she wasn't harmed in anyway, she was after all under the water for a long time. She waved her hand trying to shoo the dog and finally get a glimpse of the man who she had just saved but Roofus was unrelenting. "I'm fine boy really," she whispered. "I've been shot out of a window, what's a little water going to do?" Roofus barked once more as if to chide her. 'You got lucky once but don't push it!' She giggled and kissed his furry head. "How is he?"

"Not breathing!" One of the guards, the only one who had not settled on poking the unconscious man called back to her. 'Seriously,' she moaned inwardly. She knelt down taking the place of a second guard, leaning down she set her head on his chest to hear a soft rhythm. Slow, but there all the same. She pressed firmly against his chest again and again until finally he choked out the water that had filled his lungs. Lily pushed him so that he was on his side as water sprayed from his mouth.

He barely opened his eyes before closing them again drifting once more from his conscience into dreams. Lily finally took the time to look over him. A rather large man, not fat but muscular, with reddish blonde hair, a strong jaw, a straight nose, and all around just handsome. Had this been an appropriate moment, she would have said something about his appearance and his heavy armor belonging to some prince charming who took a wrong turn. He shivered and curled into a ball as the summer air began blowing. Lily felt the chill as well and hugged herself. "Well gentlemen," she rose to her feet. "It's been an interesting night and all but I'm thinking we should find a room for this man before he catches his death." They nodded and practically dragged him to the Sandgoose were Borris offered a room.

"No charge for you Sparrow," he held the door open. "No charge for the Hero."

"I'm not staying," Sparrow shook her head. "I've only come here to see that this man makes it to his room and then I'm going home."

The captain wagged his finger as Lily turned to leave. "Now, now missy," he chided. "He wouldn't have fallen in had you not startled him. It seems only fair that you stay with him tonight."

"BUT-"

"No buts," he held up a hand. "Unless you don't care what happens to the innocent folks of Oakfield. Or unless you did it deliberately."

"Alright fine," she threw her hands in the air in defeat. "I'll stay here until he wakes up as it was my fault. Happy?"

"Quite so," the captain said before he left her alone with the sleeping form. "If you need any help at all with anything else, just ask one of my men."

"Where are you going?"

"Home! I've got a family to take care of you know."

"I'm sure you do." She said bitterly. She waved her hand in dismissal. When the door closed behind her, Lily watched the lump on the bed shivering as he greedily snatched up blankets and curled around them. She probably should have mentioned something to the guards about a chance of clothes. She searched the cabinets for anything but, as much as she expected, there was nothing. Now she had two options. One, she could have left him there to freeze, catch a sickness, and die from it which would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life. Or two, she'd have to strip him down to nothing and find something in the morning which might just haunt her for the rest of her life. With a sigh she approached the bed and stopped. Was she really going to have to do this? Seriously, who freezes in the middle of summer?

She growled under her breath before she gently pulled the blanket off and away from his deathgrip. "Come on," she urged. "I don't like having to do this anymore than you." She reached for the bottom of his thin shirt and, with a deep breath, lifted his soaked shirt from his stomach and soon, after alot more bending than Lily would ever admit, his shirt was tossed carelessly to the floor. 'Rose,' she thought laughing. 'This has to be by your work! You're plotting against me aren't you? You're just evil!' She took note of every scar on his arms, his chest, and his stomach. Almost forgetting her task at hand until a small tremble brought her back. 'Who are you,' she wondered.

His pants were next, and Lily all of a sudden felt like her face was on fire. "Why me," she whispered as she reached for one button and then the next. 'Avo, Light, Salt, Whatever you are,' she silently prayed. 'Please, just keep him still until tomorrow!' She turned her face towards the fire as she began pulling down his trousers. 'Look at something else, look at something else,' she repeated. 'Don't look! Don't look!' They had come off with much more ease than his shirt and soon she found herself letting out the breath she didn't know she had held in. She had half a mind to cry out victoriously, but given the predicament, she kept herself silent. Once more, she reached for the blanket and covered him as best as she could without looking or waking him. Finally when she felt she had everything well covered, she tucked him in before settling into the chair, leaning back, and falling asleep herself.

The next morning, Alistair was awake to find himself in a room he didn't remember, with a woman he didn't remember, in a place he wasn't very familiar with. 'Maker's breath, he pressed his hands to his eyes and realized very quickly that he was naked. 'Where are my pants?'

A/N: Well that's chapter one. I thought the ending was kinda something to giggle about. Let me know what you think. I'm not too sure if I liked the dream sequence, it just seemed to... Pleh. Well you all know the drill. Read, review, and remember: I love you!