Hey, sorry bout not updating sooner, my bad

The stupidity begins (the first two chapters have NOTHING on this)

Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars

"Rex, you need to come with me," Anakin said calmly, "you've been given a very important mission."

"To get you more tampons?" Rex joked.

"Haha funny," Anakin answered in a very female sounding voice, he paused for dramatic effect, "Can we go to the control room already?"

"Sure," Rex grinned,

"DON'T!" Anakin yelled certain he was going to make another period joke.

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(The control room)

"Ah, good Rex you're here." A hologram of Obi-Wan Kenobi said.

"Yes sir," Rex answered, "What do you need?"

"Well, I am trapped, and only you can save me since you are my only hope." Obi-Wan said.

"Don't people normally say that in some variation to you?" Rex asked.

"Yes, this is why the situation is even direr." Obi-Wan said gravelly.

"Uh-huh," Rex grunted.

"Your mission is," Obi-Wan paused for dramatic effect, "Is to have sex with everyone on board this cruiser, except for Ahsoka. To do this, you must first find a plot hole object so you can skip all the really disturbing bits, then you can save me, then with the help of a person you will soon meet and find a way to reverse time."

"Aww come on!" Rex complained, "Ahsoka is the only girl on this ship, except for Anakin but he's got a mangina."

"So what does that mean I am?" Asked a feminine voice. Rex turned to see that it was human sized cockroach.

"I have to have sex with you?" Rex asked disgusted.

"Yes, and then," The female cockroach paused for dramatic effect which seemed to be quite popular today, "I will turn back into my original human form and we can save Obi-Wan and then live happily ever after!"

"Who are you?" Rex asked disgusted.

"Isn't it obvious?" The mutant cockroach said.

"Should it be?" Rex asked disgusted.

"Yeah." The mutant cockroach said in a 'well duh' voice.

"It's not obvious to me." Rex said his voice extremely high.

"It should be." The mutant cockroach continued.

"To be fair," Anakin butted in, "I'm not that clear on whom you are either."

"I'm Mary Orphan Mutant Cockroach Sue." The mutant cockroach said.

"Oh!" Everyone in the room said in unison.

"Yeah, don't ask how I became a cockroach." Mary replied.

"Wasn't planning to," Anakin muttered but raised his voice so his next question could be heard. "So why are you here?"

"I still want to have the perfect Mary Sue life," Mary began, "So, since you are married."

"No I'm not," Anakin protested, "It's cause I'm a Jedi, you know Jedi, no marriage, blah, blah, Jedi stuff, that's why, I mean I'm not married, I'm a Jedi that's why it won't work out between us, Jedi code that is like blah, Jedi attachment, that kind of stuff."

"Right," Mary continued, "Besides, you have a mangina. Anyway, I want the perfect story, so now my true love is Captain Rex."

"FML" Rex said.

She is back

:D

Also for those expecting sex scenes, there are not going to be any, the only reason this story is 'M' is because of a lot of mentioning of sex and who does it. That's why so don't expect any sex scenes